-mortified-
Kunoichi Sabaku no Gaara... i am so sorry. looks like i went from spelling one thing wrong to another...
-slaps self in head-
again i apologize.

to everyone else (i would mention everyone's name, but there's just too many to do so) thank you all so very very much. i'm glad you're all enjoying this story so far..


After months of painful healing, it was time for me to return to Suna.

Sakura came into my room early again one morning and I moaned, "You have another surprise for me?"

She just laughed and shook her head, "Yes I do, but you'll like this one."

"Is that a promise?" I asked baiting her.

"No," she said as she looked over my back seeing if there was anymore spots that needed some healing, "that's a guarantee." Suddenly my view of the floor was blocked by papers that she was holding in front of my face. "Discharge papers," she informed me "you're going home."

I sat up and grabbed the papers making sure they were real. They were.

I was going home. I was finally out of this damn hospital and could return to the desert and Suna.

We finally get to go back and take revenge on those old bastards that put us here in the first place! Shukaku roared.

If I smiled, I would have done it then; but instead, a small smirk is what my lips decided to do.

"You're happy then?" I heard Sakura ask me.

I stopped looking at the papers and looked up at the girl confused.

"You're smiling." she said as she put her finger to the corner of my mouth.

I shook my head 'no' partly so that I could answer her question but mostly because I wanted her finger off of my lips.

"Why not?" she asked.

"Because," I said tossing the papers onto the bed "No one wants me in Suna. That's why Baki went back, in case I did survive they wouldn't kill me on the spot when I entered the city once again."

"Oh…" she said quietly, she was clearly trying to find a way to make things better. "But I thought no one could kill you? Aren't you untouchable?"

"Clearly I'm not." I said motioning to my back. She was regressing back to being stupid again.

"But that's different. You did that willingly, if they tried to hurt you or kill you without your permission, they wouldn't be able to succeed…right? I mean, how can you possibly kill someone with a demon inside of them…"

I let out a short breath which could have been mistaken as a sigh, "All they would have to do is wear my chakra levels down until I could no longer fight back and then perform a ritual that removes Shukaku from my body. Remove Shukaku and you kill me."

I paused and my eyes widened. I had just told this girl how to kill me.

I looked up at her expecting to see her face glowing with glee because she had finally gotten what she had been working so long and hard for…but instead a sad and confused look was there.

"Oh…" she said. "Well…then stay here in Konaha."

"No." I stated shortly, I had to watch what I said from now on…this girl had an ability to get information that I shouldn't be telling anyone out of me.

"Why not?" she prompted once again.

I rolled my eyes at her constant questions, "Do you ever stop asking questions?" I asked sharply.

She just smiled and shook her head 'no'. "Why not?" she asked again.

I let out another breath, which was definitely a sigh and answered her stupid little question, "Because it's too…enclosed here. I need the openess of the desert. Besides, no one wants me here either. So why would I stay?"

"But you want to go back to Suna, and you said that no one wants you there either…so what makes the Suna people not wanting you better then the Konaha people not wanting you?"

"Because it's my home. It's where I belong." I stated sharply.

"What if there were some people that wanted you to stay here?" she asked raising her eyebrow.

I snorted at her, "Oh really…and who would they be?" I asked as I crossed my arms.

"Well…" she said, she was blushing again… "What if the person who wants you to stay here is…"

My siblings have impeccable timing, since once again they had disrupted her answer. Sakura stopped immediately as she heard the door slam open once again. I looked at the wall where my siblings were constantly banging the doorknob onto, it now had a hole in it…

"Have you told him?" Temari said excitedly.

Sakura nodded at her and smiled.

"Well let's see!" Temari said excitedly to me. I looked at her confused.

"Let's see your back." she clarified "I want to see how good of a job they did."

"They did a good job. My back is fine." I stated matter-of-factly.

"Well let's see!" Temari said again.

"No."

"Why not?!" she almost screamed. I only stared at her.

"Oh come one Gaara," she said as she grabbed my arm and pulled me off of the bed and spun me around. I was shocked at her actions. Before I knew it, I was no longer facing my siblings and Sakura, but I was now facing a blank white wall and the bed that I was just sitting on. My eyes widened at my sister's actions and was too shocked to react right away.

"Wow…this is amazing! You really did a nice job Sakura… Kankuro! Look at this!"

I could feel as her fingers went over the sensitive scars on my back.

Beyond agitated, I turned around and slapped her hand away.

Temari was shocked and her face displayed it.

I just glared at her.

"It's okay Temari, he's just probably upset about the party later is all…" I heard Kankuro say.

My glare deepened, "What party?" I asked dangerously.

"You didn't tell him?" Kankuro asked Sakura.

Sakura hung her head and shook her head 'no'. I was about to tell him about that part but you guys burst in the room before I had the chance.

The intensity of my glare grew and I stared right at Sakura who was having a hard time looking at me, "What…Party." I asked seething.

"You're farewell and we're-glad-you're-healed party…" she said timidly.

"Absolutely not." I stated to all three persons in the room.

"Oh come on Gaara, it will be fun! Just imagine, a party…held in your honor!"

"I said no." I was visibly becoming more and more agitated as they told me about this little party that they all had planned.

"Oh Gaara, quit being like that. When's the last time you went to a party?"

I diverted my eyes back down to the floor so that I wouldn't have to look at anyone again.

"That was probably when he was still little…" Kankuro said trying to prompt his memory. "It wasn't his birthday since we've never celebrated that…"

My grip tightened on the bed frame.

"Oh I know! It was the Summer Festival back when he was five!"

My grip was bending the bed frame and Sakura must have noticed because she walked over and put her hand over mine to calm me down. Much to my surprise and greater agitation, it worked. My grip loosened as I heard my siblings reminiscing.

"Oh I remember that!" Temari added in excitedly "he was running around and dancing and singing along with everyone! I don't think I've ever seen him that happy before… You see Gaara, you DO like part…"

Temari cut herself off as she returned her attention back to me and noticed that Sakura was touching my hand.

My glare returned to my sister and I asked shortly, "What?"

Temari looked at Kankuro who's jaw was visibly open and then back at me.

"N…nothing." she said and smirked at me. "Just come to the party Gaara, it's not very big, only a few people were invited. And it's the least that we can do since they did heal you after what we did to their country…"

Leave it to my sister to remind me of that.

I rolled my eyes again and looked at Sakura asking, "How big is it?"

She smiled slightly at me and removed her hand from my hand when she said, "It's just Temari, Kankuro, myself, Naruto, and Tsunade…and you of course."

I was hoping she wasn't going to include me in that list because then I could tell everyone that I wasn't invited…but she was too quick.

I rolled my eyes and let out a huff.

"Is that a yes?" Temari asked.

"Hn." was the only answer she got, but she started jumping up and down excitedly.

"Here then." she said happily as she pulled a box out from under her arm, I hadn't noticed it there…I was too busy glaring at her face to notice some stupid box.

"What is it?" I asked as she handed me the box.

"I can't tell you. You have to open it." she said "It's a present."

I just looked at the box in my hands.

I had never gotten a present before… I didn't know what to do with it, so I just stared at it.

"It's nothing life-threatening, Gaara. Just open it." Temari said agitatedly.

I slowly lifted the top off of the box and cloth was all that I saw.

"Pull it out!" Temari said excitedly.

I set the box onto the bed and picked up the cloth that was inside. A new ninja outfit unraveled before me and I was shocked…how had Temari gotten a Suna outfit in Konaha?

"Do you like it?!" she asked, excitement still evident in her voice, "I figured you would need new clothes since your old ones are all ripped up. So I bought some fabric and made you a new outfit while we were waiting for Tsunade to give us the 'okay' to come and visit you."

I continued to stare at the clothes. I didn't know what to say…Thank you? No…that didn't sound right.

So I lowered my new outfit so that I could once again see my sister and said, "You sewed?"

Temari put her hands on her hips and smirked at me, "You're welcome." she said.

"Now put it on and let's get out of here!" she said.

I continued to stare at my sister who had clearly lost her mind.

When I didn't move to get dressed Temari quickly grew agitated.

Kankuro grabbed her arm and dragged her out into the hall with him. "He needs privacy in order to get dressed Temari…" I heard him say to her.

When the door was closed behind them, I remembered that Sakura was still in the room.

"It's a really nice outfit." she said as she touched the fabric gently.

I nodded slightly.

"I'll let you get dressed now." she said and walked towards the door.

"That's two questions that you haven't answered yet." I said.

Turning around she responded, "Well, that makes us even then doesn't it."

I tilted my head curiously at her. "There's only one that I haven't answered." I said as I searched my memory for any kind of clue as to what she was talking about.

She laughed slightly at me and folder her arms in front of her, "The night when I found you in the hallway, I asked you why you didn't want me to go when I told you that I was going to get Tsunade…remember? You never answered it."

She had me.

I hadn't answered that question either…

I looked at her again and she was smiling at me. "I'll see you at the party." she said and then walked out of the door.

This "party" that everyone was talking about was at this little ramen stand that Naruto insisted we go to.

When Temari saw me in the clothes that she had made for me, she gave an excited squeal and proceeded to tell everyone that she had made them for me.

I rolled my eyes at her and crossed my arms once again, determined not to unfold them for the rest of the night.

"GAARA!" I heard a familiar and obnoxious voice unnecessarily yell. Before I knew it, I was pummeled by Naruto who was squeezing me so hard around the waste and lifting me off of the ground.
A small gasp escaped my lips before I could stifle it. My body automatically stiffened and I knew that if I had my sand, this Naruto kid would have been dead.

"Naruto!" I heard Sakura scold him, "be careful! He's not 100 healed yet…he's still a little sore!"

"Oh…sorry Sakura-chan." he said as he once again placed me onto the ground. "It's good seeing you though Gaara! But it's weird seeing you without your gourd…where is it?" Naruto asked as he began looking all around him.

This boy amazed me. Apparently he had forgotten completely about our fight and now considered me to be one of his friends…

I rolled my eyes at his behavior and said, "someone left it in Suna." I glared at my siblings who had now suddenly found their ramen bowls more interesting then anything else going on.

"Here Gaara, try some ramen! It's the best!" Naruto said excitedly, handing me a bowl of slop.

I grimaced at it. I was expected to eat this?

I took my bowl and sat down in the last seat at the end of the stand, Sakura was sitting right next to me contently eating her bowl of ramen.

"Try it." she said "You might like it."

I looked at her and then back at the bowl. I picked up my chopsticks and picked out some noodles. Cautiously placing them in my mouth, I had to force myself not to gag and bring them back up.

I heard Sakura chuckle quietly at my behavior. "Don't like it, huh?" she said.

I shook my head side to side as I stared at the abomination that the Leaf villagers called "food" in front of me. Sakura grabbed my bowl and poured some into hers. It now looked like I had eaten some and that we had both not been able to finish our bowls.

She winked at me.
I didn't get it. I was no longer her patient and she was no longer in charge of me…so why was she still being nice to me?

About an hour later, Tsunade asked if Temari and Kankuro could return with her to her office so that she could discuss the final preparations for my full discharge from the hospital. They both nodded politely and patted me on my shoulders as they walked after the blonde woman.

It was just Sakura, Naruto, and myself now.

Naruto, who had clearly eaten too much ramen since he had finished off Sakura's and my bowl on top of the three he had already eaten, managed to groan out, "I'm going to go back to my house and digest…" and with that he grabbed his bulging stomach and began to hobble back to his house. "I'm glad you're better Gaara, you should visit here again and we can hang out some more." he said as he slowly walked by me. "I'll write you." he said as he weakly let one of his arms stop supporting his stomach and gave me a backwards wave.

I turned so that I could track the boy with my eyes. He wanted to spend time with me? That boy was stranger then I thought…

"So did you like your party?" I heard Sakura say and I turned around so that I was now facing the last remaining person.

I just shrugged.

"Now don't revert back to not answering questions…" she warned teasingly.

I just looked at her slightly annoyed.

"Do you want to go for a walk?" she asked me then "I'm really not tired and your siblings will probably be a while with Tsunade…"

A walk sounded like a good idea to me, especially since I had been trapped inside that hospital room for the past few months.

I nodded at her which brought a smile to her face. She began walking, and I fell in line right next to her.

We walked in silence for a while. I could tell that she wanted to say something to me to break the silence, but was unsure on what to say.
Everyone that we passed on the streets gasped when they saw me and quickly ran inside the nearest building. I diverted my eyes from them all. When Sakura noticed what was going on, she motioned for me to follow her into the woods, which I did gladly.

When we got to an open field away from the city and its people, she stretched her arms out and breathed deeply, "What a beautiful night!" she exclaimed.

I looked up at the sky and noticed that there wasn't a cloud in it.

She must have noticed me looking at the stars because she asked, "They're beautiful, aren't they?"

"I like them better in Suna." I said.

She looked at me confused, "Gaara…stars are stars, they don't change from place to place."

I looked at her agitatedly, "I know that. But there's just more of them in Suna." I clarified.

"Oh…" she said, returning her gaze to the sky.

Then she disappeared from my peripheral vision. I looked at the spot where she used to be standing and found that she was now lying on the grass gazing up at the sky.

I mimicked her action and sat down next to her, I figured it would make her more comfortable.

We sat there in silence again.

But this time she broke it by saying, "So when are you going to answer my questions?"

"When are you going to answer mine?" I responded quickly, never taking my eyes off of the sky.

She smirked at me and supported herself on her elbows. "How about this," she proposed, "I'll answer one and then you answer one and so on until all of our questions have been answered."

I thought about this and then nodded in agreement.

"Alright then, what question would you like me to answer first?" she asked lying back down.

"My first one: why did you always smile in that hospital room? I found no source of amusement in that room that could possibly make anyone happy."

She looked at me and smiled slightly, "maybe it was the person in the room that made me smile."

My eyes widened…was she implying that I was making her happy? No…maybe she was just referring to herself and that she made herself happy. That had to be it.

I nodded and then said, "you're turn."

She sat up then and scooted closer to me and asked, "Why was I your problem?"

I looked at her and breathed deeply. I felt obligated to answer her… I knew that my original intention was to purposely break our stupid little promise, but I found that I couldn't do it now…

I looked away from her and returned my gaze to the stars, then I answered her, "Because you did things that no one ever did before."

"Like what?" she asked.

"That wasn't part of the question." I responded slyly.

She smirked as if to say 'so that's how you want to play'. "Is it because I did this?" she asked as she ran her hand through my hair.

I nodded my head, I had a strong urge to close my eyes, but I kept them trained at the stars even though I was no longer really seeing them.

"And other things." I said as I grabbed her hand and removed it from my hair. It was an action meant to make her to stop touching me. But I had failed since her attention was no longer on my hair, but was now on my hand.

She was slowly rubbing her thumb over my fingers and was holding my hand. Again she scooted closer to me so that our shoulders were touching.

"Why didn't you want me to leave that one night?" she asked quietly as she continued to play with my hand. For some reason, I didn't want to pull it away.

"It's my turn to ask the question." I said.

She laughed slightly and nodded, "You're right. Go ahead."

"Who would want me to stay in Leaf?" I asked her.

She grasped my hand tighter and bowed her head slightly trying to hide her blush. Taking a deep breath, she suddenly looked at me and said, "I do."

My mouth dropped open slightly in shock. She had just said that she wanted me to stay...I was wanted somewhere by someone…what did this mean?!

She was leaning in closer to my face…I had seen people doing this action before…she wanted to kiss me. And before I knew it, her lips pressed lightly against mine.

Then she rested her head onto my shoulder…I was still frozen, all of my muscles had frozen up on me and I felt like a living statue.

"Why didn't you want me to leave you that one night?" she asked softly against my neck.

I could hear Shukaku laughing, Good job boy! You got her to like you…now's your chance to finish what we planned. Tell her the truth, tell her you were just using her to keep me away! Crush her fragile emotions so that you destroy her!!!

But I couldn't…I had wanted to, but I didn't want to now…

Do it! Shukaku yelled.

DO IT!!! I forced myself not to wince and grab my head at his raised volume. Because if I did, Sakura would move.

Why didn't I want her to leave that night? I thought I was so sure before... but now…I didn't know. I know that she made Shukaku stop attacking me, but was there something else? Was there a truth that I was denying to myself about the emotions that I keep locked away so no one could use them against me?

"Because…" I answered slowly. "Because you were the first person to show kindness towards me, and I didn't want you to go. You made it feel better…"

I felt as the weight from her head lifted off of my shoulder and I knew she was looking at me.

"I made what feel better?" she asked.

I sighed and removed my hand from hers, only to grab hers again and place it over my heart. "This." I said and her eyes went wide in understanding.

It was true. When she was around my heart didn't hurt as much as it usually does…I only told myself that she didn't have any effect on me in order to remain the way that I was…but I saw now that I had changed in some small way due to this girl.

Her hand tightened onto my shirt and she leaned in again to kiss me.

When her lips touched mine once again, I didn't know what to do.

I began to mimic her movements and a sound that sounded like a moan came from her.

I must have been doing something right.

I decided that she tasted like…innocence. Something that I've never had or every experienced before. I felt like every time I kissed her my corruption and sinfulness contaminated her. I tried to pull away but I found that I couldn't…

After a few moments she stopped and locked me into a hug.

Was this really happening to me? Or was it all just some big game…

"I have to return to Suna." I said, breaking her out of her reverie.

She stopped hugging me and nodded sadly, "I know…"

I returned my glare back up to the stars so that I didn't have to see that look in her eyes.

"Can I write to you?" I heard her ask.

I looked at her again, surprise written all over my face.

She smiled again and laughed, but I grabbed her chin and rubbed my thumb over her smile.

"I do this?" I asked her.

Her smile broadened and she nodded at me.

I heard Temari's loud voice calling for me in the distance and I stood up. "I have to go, Temari is calling for me."

Sakura followed my lead and stood up as well. "Wait…" she said and she grabbed my hand once more.

"Promise you'll come visit." she said.

I knew that I shouldn't. I knew that as soon as I got a chance to return to Konaha she would have found someone else to take the spot that I was currently in…but against all reason I heard myself say, "I promise."

She smiled again and we went our separate ways.

I found my siblings waiting for me at the gates.

"Let's go." I said as I walked past them. "This place is doing weird things to my head."

I won't miss her. I thought to myself.

And with that we began our trek back to Suna.