Price of the Past
Chapter 7 – Some Things Time Doesn't Change
As Gibbs turned the Challenger into his street, Maddie released her safety belt and leaned forward between the two front seats, exclaiming excitedly as she peered through the windscreen. "Oh boy, now this I recognize... I don't know what I expected but I didn't think the whole street would look almost the same... oh, okay, maybe not quite the same... those are different, maybe..."
"It's not all the same as it was," Gibbs put in as Maddie trailed off.
Maddie leaned back and scooted over to the side window, exclaiming at something else and Abby and Gibbs exchanged an amused glance at the young woman's excitement. Perhaps asking her to come here would not only ensure Maddie wasn't on her own for the next few days, but would give her something else to concentrate on other than the ordeal she'd just gone through.
If Maddie hadn't been back to D.C in years and hadn't been in this neighbourhood since Gibbbs lost his girls, then it must be bringing back a lot of memories for her too.
Maddie pointed out the window. "Those houses opposite have got extensions, I don't remember them looking like that... or perhaps it's my memory. I might not have taken much notice when I was a kid."
"Not many families still here from when you knew it, though the houses haven't changed too much... not a lot of room to go sideways," Gibbs told her. "The Johnsons are still a few houses down, remember them?"
Maddie nodded. "Sure I do... Mrs Johnson used to make really awesome cakes."
"Still does." Gibbs grinned, pulling up in front of the house.
"I remember Kelly used to make any excuse to go say hi... and I'd be right behind her." Maddie gazed out of the window, a smile curving her mouth.
Abby glanced at Gibbs, seeing his face freeze momentarily before he turned and pushed open the driver's door without saying anything.
"You'll have to go say hi again, while you're here," Abby said over her shoulder to Maddie as she opened her door.
"I'd like that." Maddie roused herself and joined Abby on the sidewalk, gazing at Gibbs' house.
Gibbs removed her bag from the trunk and came up to stand beside Maddie. "House hasn't changed much either."
Maddie's smile widened. "So I see."
"Could do with a lick of paint," he acknowledged wryly, as he fielded a bag of groceries Abby handed him from the back seat.
And the garden wasn't the same as when Shannon cared for it, either in the front or out back. He kept it tidy but it was a fairly sparse effort. He was sure Maddie would notice the difference. She and Kelly were always playing out back and would help – or hinder as Shannon used to call it – whenever they could.
His throat closed over as the familiar wave of pain hit him and he turned away to open the gate to give himself a moment to recover his composure.
Maddie turned to Abby. "Let me help, Abby."
Between the three of them, they managed everything in one trip. When Abby had dumped the bags she was carrying in the kitchen and returned to the hallway, it was to see Gibbs placing Maddie's bag by the stairs and the girl herself standing looking round eagerly.
Abby leaned against the wall. "I'm guessing you wanna go clean up, Maddie?"
"That'd be great, Abby, thanks. I feel more than a little grungy... if that's okay?" Maddie glanced between them.
"Of course it is," Abby answered cheerfully. "There's heaps of medical supplies in the main bathroom too, so you should find arnica gel for any bruises and bumps."
Maddie nodded, her hand unconsciously going to her chest where there was presumably a matching bruise to the one Gibbs sported from Tony's CPR efforts. "Yeah, I don't have too much in my apartment yet... haven't had time to stock up."
"And while you do that, I'll make us some lunch." Abby turned back to the kitchen.
"I'll take your bag up," offered Gibbs, bending to pick it up again. "C'mon. You remember the way."
Maddie chuckled as she followed Gibbs upstairs. "Not likely to forget."
While Maddie took a shower, Abby unpacked the groceries and flicked the coffee maker on before throwing together some sandwiches. It felt good just to be doing something normal and domestic... she'd had enough angst and drama these past few days to last her a while.
A while later, her thoughts miles away, Abby jumped slightly as she suddenly felt Gibbs' presence behind her as she turned from the fridge. Two arms slid round her waist and tugged her back against a solid chest. She smiled as she felt Gibbs nuzzle into her neck and rested both her hands on his arms, stroking gently along the skin and rough hairs under her fingertips.
"Maddie okay?"
Gibbs inhaled deeply, letting her warmth and scent surround him. "Uh-huh. Says she'll be down when she's cleaned up."
"And how are you doing?"
"Okay." He pressed a kiss to her neck, squeezing her waist before letting her go and moving to pour them both coffee. Conscious of her eyes, he turned and Abby stepped closer, placing her hands on his chest and he smiled and reached up to caress her jawline. "Really. It feels good to have Maddie here... not easy but good."
Abby nodded briefly before leaning in for a soft kiss. "She'll want the ten cents tour when she comes down."
He kissed her back gently, sliding his hands round to link together behind her back. "She shouldn't need it. House hasn't changed much inside either... although the plumbing might be better." He quirked a half grin as she chuckled softly.
His ex-wives had made some changes, some of which he'd changed back, or lost the added furniture when they'd cleaned him out in the divorces. So the house didn't look quite the same as it did when Maddie would have known it... and the extra touches with the furniture that were all Shannon, plus Kelly's paintings on the walls and the photographs, as well as the warmth and life that his girls had brought to the place, all of that was missing.
Abby's presence in recent weeks had gone some way to making the place feel like a home again. He hoped that would only increase when Abby finally moved in and her possessions filled out the house as much as her personality did.
"She may be a little nervous about wandering round on her own though," Abby pointed out, leaning into his chest, wrapping her arms loosely round him.
"She seemed excited." Gibbs paused. "Didn't realise it'd be such a big deal for her, coming back here and seeing it again."
Abby thought for a moment, leaning in to kiss him again lightly before turning to rest against the counter beside him, picking up her mug. "Kelly must've meant a lot to her... Maddie still keeps her photograph on her website. I didn't show you that, did I?" Gibbs shook his head and Abby went on. "No, we didn't get time before it... um, it all went down... remind me later and I can show you. But anyway, she obviously remembers her with affection. Kelly musta been a big part of her childhood."
Gibbs gazed off into the distance, his mouth tugging in a slight smile. "They were inseparable." He looked at Abby. "Thank you for this... I know we need this weekend to be about us too... Haven't forgotten."
Abby held up a hand, interrupting him. "And it will be... we've got time. And I love that you want me here, Gibbs, when I know it's not gonna be easy for you, especially with what Maddie will want to talk about..." Her mouth curved in a gentle smile, trying to remove any awkwardness from the moment. "And besides, with my ability to ramble on, awkward silences are just toast with me around."
Gibbs slipped an arm round her shoulders and pulled her into his side, turning his head to bury his nose in her hair, chuckling softly. "You got a point there."
If he was honest with himself, Abby's warm personality would probably go a long way towards making Maddie feel welcome this weekend, much more so than his gruff disposition. He didn't want to make Maddie feel uncomfortable but there were some things he just couldn't talk about easily, if at all.
And the fact that Abby was willing to put aside her concerns over their relationship and her hurt over what had happened, and help Maddie this weekend said a lot about her generous nature and kind heart.
If nothing else by the end of this weekend, he was going to make sure Abby knew he didn't take that for granted... if he could work out how to do that.
Abby slid her arm round his waist. "I know it'll be too tough sometimes to get the words out. You don't need to do this alone, Gibbs." She told him softly, gazing at him seriously and her mouth quirked in a smile. "It's what I'm here for... think of me as a pigtailed diversion and distraction."
He leaned in to kiss her cheek, smiling against her skin. "You've been that for years, Abbs."
Her grin widened as he pulled back. "That's okay then." She shot him a glance, hesitating before asking. "You and Tony gonna be okay?"
Gibbs sighed, nodding after a moment, deciding on honesty. "Got a way to go but hope so, Abbs."
Gibbs had a feeling his SFA hadn't finished whatever he needed to get off his chest, and Tony's raw pain over what he'd been faced with, and the choices he'd been forced to make, had shaken Gibbs to the core.
He needed time to process everything, to work out a way to make it right... if he could.
Her reply was soft. "Me too, Gibbs."
A short time later, Maddie returned downstairs, dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt, her hair still damp from the shower.
Abby held up a mug, warmed that Gibbs didn't remove his arm from round her shoulders as the younger woman appeared. "Want some?"
Maddie nodded as she came into the kitchen. "Please... and I'm sure that's better than the stuff I made Jethro the other day." Gibbs grinned, inclining his head. "I did warn you I couldn't make coffee."
Abby laughed, as she turned to pour another mug. "Well, he says that about most people's coffee... although not everyone can make the industrial strength tar he likes... I've just had more practice, I guess."
Maddie took the mug from Abby. "Can I help?"
"Nope... it's all under control. It's nothing much, just a sandwich, salad and munchies." Abby threw a smile over her shoulder at the younger woman, before turning to Gibbs. "You want something else with all this?"
"We got chips, right?" He pulled some out of the cupboard and added it to the pile.
Abby eyed him with a raised eyebrow, exchanging an amused glance with Maddie before remarking. "You going with the healthy option I see."
"Hey, you got me eating all that rabbit food," Gibbs smirked, pointing at the raw vegetables she'd sliced up on a separate plate. He'd teased Abby mercilessly about trying to improve his diet since she'd moved in, but was secretly pleased she wanted to take care of him. It was a long time since someone had made the effort. "Gotta spice it up somehow."
Abby snorted as she retrieved a bowl from a cupboard. "I'm sure you'll survive the rabbit food." She narrowed her eyes, peering at him. "If your nose starts twitching, I'll tell ya."
Maddie laughed. "On the other hand, that might be fun to see."
"Not to mention kinda cute." Abby giggled as Gibbs rolled his eyes.
"Gimme that." He grabbed the bowl from Abby's hands and emptied the packet of chips into it as Abby poked her tongue out at him.
Maddie laughed as she watched them teasing one another before her smile faded as a thought struck her. She waited till Abby turned, hesitating before speaking. "Thanks for letting me stay... I'm sorry if I'm ruining your weekend."
"Oh, you're not at all," Abby reassured her, leaning into Gibbs' side. "We hadn't gotten anything special planned, had we?" Abby waited till Gibbs shook his head, hoping he'd play along with her. "We don't get that many weekends off call so they tend to be lazy ones when they happen." They had planned to start on some packing at her apartment but that could wait and she certainly didn't want to make Maddie feel guilty.
Maddie smiled tentatively. "Well, you mustn't let me get underfoot."
"You're not," replied Gibbs firmly.
Maddie stared at him for a moment before nodding slowly, seemingly satisfied for the moment. "Okay then..." She glanced at the door to the basement. "That's a familiar door. Do you still build boats down there?"
Gibbs nodded. "Working on one now."
Abby grinned. "You mean he was building boats that long ago too?"
She was bursting with questions. Maddie could open so much of Gibbs' past to her, provided the Marine was comfortable with her knowing it, but she almost didn't know where to start.
It was Gibbs who replied. "Built a few, Abbs... over the years." This boat was about the only one that had gotten this far and was a vessel he was determined to sail.
"I remember helping," Maddie added as she gazed at the door, her mind clearly going back. "Kelly used to be down there whenever she could... mostly avoiding homework."
"You were both avoiding homework, if I remember it right," Gibbs smirked.
Maddie laughed, holding her hands up. "You got me there... used to love the smell of sawdust."
"Well, amen to that," Abby muttered, smothering a grin in her mug and Gibbs shot her a glance which she met with a wink.
"Shannon used to moan like crazy when we'd track it through the house, especially if she'd just cleaned up." Maddie hesitated. "Can I see it later, if that's okay?"
Gibbs nodded. "Sure."
After a few moments silence and before it could get awkward, Abby picked up a couple of the plates from the counter. "C'mon through... we don't need to stand in the kitchen all morning." Abby wandered into the living room.
Gibbs picked up the rest and followed, with Maddie close behind, carrying the mugs. Abby settled herself at 'her' end of the couch and watched as Maddie paused in the doorway, gazing round her with unabashed curiosity and Abby heard her quiet murmur.
"Wow, it's just the same..."
Maddie seemed to realize what she'd said out loud and suddenly looked embarrassed. She shook herself, giving a sheepish smile to Abby and walked over to sit next to her on the couch while Gibbs took the armchair.
Abby tried to cover the awkward moment by handing Maddie her plate and asking the younger woman about her family and her studies, and the two women were soon into an enthusiastic discussion, Gibbs contributing occasionally and Maddie in turn asked about Abby's family.
As they ate, Gibbs could see Maddie darting occasional glances around the room, no doubt taking in what had changed and, more importantly, what hadn't. And because they hadn't yet moved Abby in, there were only a few things scattered about which were hers.
In a pause, Maddie looked over at him, smiling shyly. "I was gonna come see you anyway, y'know, even if this hadn't happened... when I'd gotten settled in."
Gibbs nodded, smiling. "Glad you were planning to."
"And you will keep in touch now, won't you?" Abby urged and Maddie smiled, nodding.
"I'd like to, very much."
Gibbs stood up and crooked a finger as he turned away. "Come see the boat."
Maddie laughed, almost choking on her coffee. "Now, that gesture I remember too."
"Oh, we're all familiar with that one," Abby put in, grinning. "It's the non-verbal equivalent of a 'jump to it, Marine,' or a," Abby lowered her voice in a passable imitation of Gibbs, "grab your gear."
Maddie burst out laughing. "Not bad..."
Abby grinned. "Thank you, ma'am."
Maddie stood up and then hesitated, and Abby forestalled her question. "You two go on... I've got some things I wanna do up here." She wanted to give them time together without her hovering and making it awkward to talk about some shared memories.
Gibbs headed towards the kitchen and Maddie followed him through the door to the basement. Maddie halted at the top as Gibbs descended the stairs. "Oh my god, that's amazing... you're so much further on with this one."
Gibbs turned and leaned back on a sawhorse, watching as Maddie descended the rest of the stairs. "Yeah... the one you saw was mostly still the hull. Been working on the cabin of this one for a while."
Maddie was silent as she walked round the boat, coming to a sudden stop when she saw the name painted in careful black lettering on the stern.
The Kelly.
"That's just... that's lovely," Maddie murmured, running her fingers gently over the lettering. She looked up, blinking back sudden tears, and Gibbs had to turn away momentarily to try and gain control of his own emotions.
"Kelly would have loved this," Maddie told him softly, watching him carefully. "I remember Kelly asking you to build her a boat... after you finished the one you were building for Shannon."
Gibbs cleared his throat. "It's long overdue."
Maddie hesitated before asking. "Did you ever finish... that boat for Shannon?"
Gibbs shook his head, unable to speak for a moment as his throat closed over. He'd not been able to bring himself to finish Shannon's boat in those terrible months immediately after their deaths, as he'd healed from his own injuries and as his desire for revenge consumed him.
He'd dismantled the shell of the boat when he'd come back from killing Hernandez, taken the wood to the beach and burned it, the pain of his loss and the emptiness of his house overwhelming him as he watched it go up in flames.
Then he'd sat down on that same beach with his gun, equally intent on ending his empty life.
He wasn't sure what had stayed his hand at the time... still wasn't.
Maddie went on hurriedly as she saw his struggle. "I'm sorry... I didn't mean to..."
"It's okay." Gibbs cleared his throat. "You'll be able to see The Kelly when she's finished."
"I'd like that, thank you," Maddie replied softly. She looked over the boat in front of her. "So, what have you got left to do on her?"
Thankful for the slight change of subject, Gibbs went round the boat, pointing out what still needed to be finished, both inside and outside... Maddie asking questions all the time.
As they completed a circuit of the boat, Maddie came to a halt next to him and saw the photographs on the workbench; the one taken by Abby of her and Gibbs, and the one she'd given Gibbs of her and Kelly.
Gibbs looked over her shoulder, picking up the photographs. Maddie took the one of her and Gibbs from his hands. "I like this... d'you think Abby would make me a copy?"
Gibbs nodded. "You know she will. She can do this one too... make sure you keep a copy," he waved the photo of Maddie and Kelly.
The conversation shifted to other families Maddie remembered from school, some Marines that Gibbs still had contact with and others he'd lost touch with over the years.
He felt slightly guilty for not keeping in touch with Maddie over the years, but again she had been someone who reminded him too much of who he'd lost. He wasn't sure he could have seen Maddie growing up, however distantly, and not immediately been reminded of Kelly.. so it was another thing he'd let slip in his life.
One question Maddie asked caught him off guard.
"How's your dad? I remember Jackson was up visiting that... last Christmas."
It took him a moment to decide on an answer. "Haven't seen him in a while."
"Oh... sorry, erm, I seem to be doing nothing but putting my foot in it lately," Maddie replied, glancing at him worriedly.
Gibbs shook his head. "No reason you'd know. We... we had a falling out after the funeral."
"I'm sorry to hear that, Jethro."
Gibbs didn't want to go into any details and hoped Maddie would leave it there. But it suddenly occurred to him that he couldn't close the subject of his dad down just yet.
Abby didn't even know his father was still alive, let alone that they didn't speak and the reason for it. It wasn't something he'd even thought about telling her yet.
It was another irony of keeping so much of his private life totally hidden, that this was something else that might come back and bite him in the ass. If Abby found out about Jackson by accident if Maddie let something slip this weekend, then that would make it a whole lot worse, especially now.
Gibbs could imagine how hurt she'd be at finding out something else he'd kept from her.
So now he was in a relationship that mattered to him, maybe it was time to open up a bit? Maybe it was something else to add to the increasing list of 'stuff' that he'd have to think about telling Abby at some point in the not too distant future.
In the meantime, there was no other option but to ask Maddie to keep quiet.
"Abby doesn't know that yet... about Jack." Gibbs could see the surprise on Maddie's face and it took her a few moments to respond, gazing at him thoughtfully.
"Oh, okay... sorry. I won't say anything then, I promise."
"Thanks, Maddie." Gibbs squeezed her shoulder.
"Is Abby okay with me being here... I mean really okay?" Maddie asked tentatively after a few moments.
"Sure she is..." Gibbs eyed Maddie. "Did ya expect her not to be?"
"Truth?" she asked.
Gibbs tilted his head, leaning back against the workbench. "Usually a good idea."
Maddie huffed a soft laugh before shrugging. "Well, I just thought... I dunno, I guess I expected Abby to be angry with me maybe."
"Why?"
"Woulda thought that was obvious... I nearly got you killed, Jethro." Maddie averted her gaze, tracing patterns on the workbench. "In her shoes, I might not be so welcoming to someone who'd nearly caused their other half to die."
Gibbs reached out to snag her arm, waiting till Maddie raised her head and met his gaze. "It's not your fault, we told you that. And Abby's got a big heart... she hasn't got it in her to blame anyone like that."
Because he saw it all the time, he tended to forget sometimes how Abby's generous, kind hearted nature allowed her to forgive an awful lot and how that might surprise someone who didn't know her that well.
It was another forceful reminder for him of the way Abby dealt with things differently from most of the other women he'd been involved with.
TBC...
