Silent Pretense
Disclaimer: Do I own Trigun? What a foolish question, of course I don't.
AN: Thanks for all the reviews! Here's chapter 7, with responses to reviews at the end.
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As his sudden flared senses dulled and sleep came from its tiredness Knives slowly entered the REM stage while tossing and turning. Old images began to return. Ones he had forgotten on his conscious level.
Flashes. He's getting old flashes of when Steve used to beat him, flashes of Project SEEDS and of what he did to all its inhabitants in that specific ship. It was what he planned to do to all humans.
Then he sees flashes of the smiling faces of Rem, of Vash. The three of them together in the recreation room. He sees when he started to change. When he realized what a pesticide the human race was. Killing and destroying everything in their path for their own selfish reasons.
All the while, he was secretly getting more tainted. Secretly loathing the human species, but he kept up his brotherly kindness façade for Vash's sake, because Vash loved them. The humans, especially Rem. He wouldn't let Vash see his dark side, but it slipped that day when he had smashed the spider, and then he couldn't help but tell Vash of his ideologies on mankind. He had to tell him them, Vash looked so petrified for what he had done. That was when the analogy was created.
Knives tossed and turned some more, his mind pushing to another scene. Rem.
Amongst the blackness of his mind she was everywhere, but nowhere to be seen. He heard that old familiar song, the one she sang daily, the one Vash loved so much, the one he had always secretly hated.
Then, there she was, against his tree, but they weren't at the house he shared with Meryl and the others, they were on Earth. Looking around, he didn't like what he saw. A wasteland. Earth was hideous. All the plants were dead, as were the animals. He could see all the rubble of fallen buildings and the once blue sky that looked ready to collapse was now gray. The air was heavy and thick and choked his lungs.
He could hear the gentle cry of the planet as he realized that its beating heart was fading. It was dying and he was sad.
"Don't look so sad Knives." Rem spoke in her quiet soothing voice.
Knives refocused on Rem. Besides her, his tree and himself they were the only living, breathing forces on this dying planet.
"Rem is this Earth?" He asked just to be sure.
He put a hand to his mouth. It was not the voice he recognized. He looked at his hands, they were small and he then felt his hair was long again. He gave it a tender touch. He was young. The age he had been when he last saw the woman before him. He couldn't cover up how shocked he was.
Rem laughed softly. "Surprised to be young again Knives?"
He nodded.
"Come sit." She patted the patch of grass beside her.
While walking nearer to her, he did not sit. She smiled.
"To answer your question, yes, this is Earth. This is the way we left it."
Knives looked around more. The ocean caught his gaze from one direction. The crystal blue waters he had always been told about were black and littered beyond imagination. He heard Rem sigh and turned to look back at her.
"It didn't always used to look like this. It used to be beautiful. Our people just made one too many mistakes." She told him.
Leaving Rem's side, he walked beyond the greened patch of grass and onto to the browned part. It lay ahead as far as he could see, with the exception of places in which there was no grass at all. Sadness. A small tear dropped. When it hit the browned grass the grass instantly greened and a small flower grew. Taken back he bent down and touched the small flower, it wilted and shriveled. He withdrew his hand.
"She is sad, but she doesn't like to see your sadness. It was her attempt at cheering you up, but the flower cannot take this life, no more than for a brief moment." He heard Rem say.
He looked back at her. "Who is "she"?" He asked curiously.
"Earth of course. Mother nature, we sometimes called her."
Knives darkened and he is older. His true age.
"And I will avenge her Rem." He put an extra disgusted emphasis on her name before continuing. "I am not a human and I am not Vash, so therefore I cannot be brainwashed by your deceit. Your people are the ones that killed her, so I shall create a world in which you do not exist at all."
Rem saddened. "No, you're not like Vash. You never wanted the guidance that he craved. You always made up your own decisions Knives."
Smirking, Knives pulls out his black gun, pointing it in her direction. "I did."
"But the more you kill, the more she will be unhappy."
"The Earth couldn't get unhappier. She will rejoice in your deaths. The seeds and minerals of your dead bodies will only create the nutrients she needs to grow. It's a natural process... death for life."
"I do not talk of the Earth. I talk of her." Rem gestured to the side.
Sleeping on the dead grass is a faint image of Meryl. She is peacefully resting undisturbed by the environment.
Confused, Knives lowers his gun to gaze at her. Rem softly begins to sing 'Sound Life' as she walks off into the black distance. As her voice fades she disappears. Meryl's image gets clearer and Knives slowly walks up to he, gazing at her curiously and cautiously.
He gently picks her off the dead lawn and places her down on the soft green grass that is beneath his tree. She never stirs. He sits on a discarded crate and gazes at her as she sleeps. A sudden chilly wind starts to blow.
"You'll be unhappy?" He said out loud, remembering what Rem had said to him. "But who are you?"
The wind around him begins to pick up and dust starts to billow, but neither Knives nor Meryl shifts. He suddenly realizes that as he's been gazing at her, he himself has turned back into his younger self.
"Rem?" He stands and looks around for the woman he hadn't known had even left. "Rem where did you go? Who is she?"
She doesn't appear but he can hear her soft laugh.
"Don't you recognize the woman you love Knives?"
Knives is, of course, startled and he hears a glass being smashed and a black cat sprints through his legs.
"There you are Kuro." He mutters in such a quiet manner that he didn't even register what he had said.
The wind that was already gaining in its force swirled around him, lifting him up and away from Meryl who is still sleeping in peace. His great lush tree, looking after her.
He clamps his eyes shut as he tries to think of her name, but nothing will come.
'I love her?' He thinks to himself.
When he reopens his eyes he's on the Project SEEDS ship. He looks around. Everything seems to be in perfect order. Walking around he comes to the conclusion that it's too quiet.
"Rem?" He calls out. "Vash?" With no answer from either of them he starts to call out the names of people he's long forgotten about. People he never even cared about. "Joey? Steve? Mary? Rowan?"
He walks past a room, and then stops to back track his steps. Inside the room is a man facing a window that's overlooking the gray and black planet of Earth.
"Excuse me, but who are you?" He asks.
The man turns and it's his older self. His older self stands and walks over to him, then past him without saying a word.
Immediately following him, Knives begins to notice things with his eyes that he could have sworn were not there before. Pools of blood, dead bodies, and the stench of death reigned the walkways. He sees the bodies of the entire Project SEEDS members and hundreds of others he doesn't recognize.
A little alarmed at the sight, he makes his way through the bodies that seem to be in every hallway, every room, trying to keep up with his older self who either doesn't seem to mind the bodies or doesn't even notice them. He watches his older self enter a room.
He goes after him and is inside a dark room, thankfully one that doesn't contain any blood, or bodies. Even though it's dark in the room he can still make out the silhouette of his older self.
"Where is everyone?" He asks quietly.
His older self turns and finally looks at him. "Didn't you see them all? They're dead."
"But why?"
"Because we killed them."
The younger Knives accepts this information without further question. He now knows he killed all those people outside the room, even if it was his through his future self and his future self's minions.
"There is just one more." His older self interjects his thoughts. Giving him a curious look he watches as Meryl appears. Still sleeping, and on a bed that appears with her.
"We cannot! Rem said she was the one we loved!"
His older half gave a look of surprise. "Is she?"
Nodding, the younger one replied. "Yes."
"Since when do we care of what Rem has to say?" Asked Knives' older self.
The smaller of the two thought for a moment. "Its not that I care, but that I think she's right. I think we do love her."
"Who is she? You do realize she is human don't you?"
"Yes I know, and I don't know who she is. For some reason I can't remember her name."
"Then what should we do with her?" His older self asked.
"I don't know, but I like looking at her. I want to remember every part of her because she is who we love. I never want to forget."
The older Knives hesitated for a moment. "Does she love us back?"
"I don't know."
After a few moments of silence in which both the younger and older Knives proceed to gaze at Meryl, the younger speaks.
"Where are Vash and Rem?"
"That, I don't know. Do you care?"
"Not really."
Suddenly the older Knives pulls out his black gun. "We may love her, but she is human so she has to die if our kind is to live."
"No! I understand of course, but you cannot kill her."
"I'm not going to. You are."
"I won't!" The younger Knives protested.
"But you have the gun in your hand."
Knives looked down and saw that his older half was right. He is the one carrying the gun.
"I don't want to!"
"Why not?" Asks the older Knives. "You killed the others."
"Yes, that's true." He raises the gun at Meryl. "Even though we love you, you have to be killed."
"Yes, we cannot allow you to continue your specie, despite this very unlikely love for you."
The younger Knives glances at his older self but he's disappeared and he realizes he is his older self. It's his younger self that vanished. His younger self was the one that wasn't as dark. It was he that, at one point in time, like Vash believed in a world with humans, but one without war and violence.
As he started to pull the trigger at Meryl his head began to pound. The headaches were returning and he pushed his hands to the side of his head to help ease it, but it wasn't working. His gun lay dropped at his side. Once the headache finally passes he crumbles to Meryl's side.
She stirs and wraps a hand at the side of his face.
"Knives are you alright?" He heard her ask.
Meryl starts to fade, as do the rest of his surroundings. They fade into the blackness and he hears Meryl's words repeat.
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Knives' eyes flutter open and he sees that Vash and two others, whom he doesn't recognize are at his side, all with looks of concern.
The memory of his dream diminishes, as his mind locks it away from him. He becomes aware of the suns and shades his eyes feeling a hotness and becoming aware of his own deep breathing.
'Where... am I?' He thought to himself.
"Mr. Knives are you okay?" Asked a tall brunette haired woman.
Hearing a voice of a person he doesn't recognize causes him not to answer, but he becomes aware that one of the women who is actually sitting at his side, has placed a hand on his forehead.
"He seems to have a bit of a fever, but nothing major." He listened to her say.
"Will he be okay?" His brother asked.
The one beside him nodded. "He can probably just sleep it off."
Knives watched as his brother yawned. "In that case I'm going back to bed. Feel better Knives."
"Goodnight Mr. Knives, I hope you feel better in the morning too." The taller girl added and then they both left. Leaving him with the one next to him, a shorter woman than the other with raven colored hair and wide gray eyes.
Knives registered their comments but didn't acknowledge them. His eyes lay on the stranger at his side. She was brushing his hair aside with her hands and wiping his forehead with a cool cloth at the same time.
"You must have had quite the dream for it to give you a fever Knives."
Entirely focused on this woman he answered. "I do not remember it."
"Most of us don't remember our dreams." She handed him a glass of water. "Drink half of that, it'll make you feel a little better and it'll bring down the fever some too."
Knives did as she suggested and handed the glass back to her once he finished.
"Now try and get some rest okay?"
Knives gave a short nod and watched as she placed the empty glass on the side table next to his bed. She gave his hand a squeeze to his surprise before walking out and closing the door behind her.
Bewildered at all that happened Knives sat up and looked out his window. Being that it was still dark out he could not see much, but readjusting himself under the covers he pulled them away to inspect himself.
'The last thing I remember is Vash shooting me. Where am I now?' He thought to himself. Not being able to answer that question he continued his puzzled thoughts.
'I'm completely healed physically, which means that fight was ages ago. Where did Vash take me?' Still confused his anger started to rise.
Waiting until he was certain that everyone had fallen back asleep, Knives rose and walked out of the room eyeing his unfamiliar surroundings. Finding himself in a kitchen, the annoyance of not knowing where he was or how long he's been there started to nag him. And because his thoughts were so focused on that he didn't hear the footsteps.
Only when a light flicked on did he snap his brain back into reality.
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End of chapter 7
AN: The dream, well it's in different tenses and it switches back and forth constantly. I did that on purpose so please no one yell at me. I did that to really set the stage that Knives was in a dream, and since dreams don't always go in a perfect little story-fied-ness (yes I made that word up) I chose that format. As always read and review!
Yours truly,
Faery Goddyss
Gothmiko- Knives isn't a pyro. He just needed something BIG to get Meryl back. Lol
Hope-is-4ever- Knives is unstable, or was I guess I should say, because he wasn't in his right frame. I tried to create the image if him being sort of a helpless little kid. You're so dead on for what you thought was going to happen in this chapter. Good job!
Lunis- I'm sure Mr. Bernadelli didn't intentionally make people sad. He has a business to run after all.
Isishikage- Is Knives going to go all postal again and destroy Gunsmoke? Well I can't answer that. It would ruin the story.
Neverland's Apprentice- You were left in shock when you read MY little story? Thanks so much! I try.
Sephiroth1Ripley8- Ah, my most critical reviewer. Well I do read over the story, and I just cant catch or get all the problems in it. It usually is sentence structure, and I don't know why. But I am glad that you still like the story and continue to read it, despite its flaws.
(someone)- Lol. I'm happy you don't think this story is a stupid cliché! Though, even I have to seriously watch myself with the character personalities. For instance, this chapter has some Knives OOC ness, but it can't always be helped.
Neptune Butterfly- There kinda was two people living inside of Knives. I'll get more into Vash and Meryl later and it will be brief, but, stuff will happen. ;)
DarkGoddess29- YAY! I love questions! Okay, yes, Knives did remember Kuro before the cat replica. Kuro isn't gone for good; he's coming back that's why I'm trying to at least mention him. I didn't want Vash to be the one to bring Meryl back. Knives had to. I needed the relationship devolvement. So did Knives' dream happen the way you thought it would? Let me know!
Huntress Raven- Will I make Knives see the error of his ways? Sorta. You'll see sooner or later, and I like your story because I love Midvalley!
GabbyFang- I'm glad you liked the chapter, but I also update FoAL a little while ago! YAY! Have you read it?
Triste1- Thanks for the critique! I can try harder and hope to fix things, but the fact of the matter is, as much as I try there will always be problems. But thanks for letting me know and I'm glad you like the story!
Mangaqueen13- How sweet! Thanks!
Shygurl- Lol, I'm a fool for a pathetic Knives. Well he IS back to his "normal" self, but to see how he reacts once he gets over his bewilderment, you'll have to read the next chapter!
DeepCrimsonOtaku- I have two possible future paths Knives could take, and one is his super psycho "humanity-obliterating self" as you put it. I'm glad you like my story!
Girl next door- the last chapter was called Indian jasmine because the flowers meaning is affection. I thought it was cute. So technically the name of that chapter is 'Affection'.
Umi Fox- He doesn't remember! So what will happen? You'll see soon! :o)
Shiko- Lol. On your idea of more action, I hadn't even considered it, maybe, possibly, I don't know. But probably not in this story. Something like that would be in my other future story 'Prerogative'.
Also, thank you to: Kara Metallium, AKU, vashluver1, nan, Gwargedd-Annwn13, Kitsuni-Demon, PervyElfFancier, and a bunch of anonymous people!
