I own nothing I'm just playing god with two of the coolest stories out there.


DRIVE IN

"Excuse me, thank you. Alright you little freshmen bitches. Air raid!" Jessica blows a whistle hanging around her neck. "That was pathetic. Let's try it again. That means get up you lazy little bitches. Get up. Air raid. That was horrible you little slime balls, you little freshmen sluts. Get up, get up. Up, up, up, air raid! She Blows the whistle again

"That's what's fascinating, is that not only this school but the entire community seems to be supporting this, you know. At least turn their heads. I mean they apparently gave permission to use the parking lot. No parents seem to mind, you know. There's only concessions you know, I mean..." Mike trails off.

"I know." Eric agrees.

"We seniors, we tried, we gave you all a chance but since you little prick-teases, can't follow instructions. We're just going to have to try something else won't we. Seniors." Jess waves her hands so that all the seniors jump up and down in excitment. "You love us, smile. You love us." She breaths to the freshmen who are all still on the ground face down.

A bunch of the senior girls run to the trucks and are getting food items from grocery bags. Sam, Edward and Emmett are watching, perched on a car. Jessica commands all the seniors to commence and they run over and are spraying the freshmen (lying on the ground) with ketchup and mustard.

"Suffer sisters. Suffer." Jessica cackles

One particular freshman receives hot dog toppings (minus onions). Several suffer the same fate. Oat meal or something is rubbed into the back of a victims T-shirt. The freshmen receive flour in their hair. More seniors are spraying their pray with endless supply of ketchup and mustard. Knee high socks are running around the eyes of the freshers before a flour cloud descends as a senior kicks a bag into the fray, more weave in and out emptying any and all food on them. Rose is spraying cream with a satisfied smile across her face.

"Oozes baby." Rose giggles.

Angela is not too happy. Tanya bends down to face her.

"Welcome to high school honey." She pours flour over her.

A senior cracks an egg onto a girls back. Two freshmen now attached to dog collars and leashes are pulled up by Rose. She walks up to Emmett, Edward and Sam with a freshman.

"Propose to Mr. Cullen." Rose demands. The freshman goes down on her knees.

"Will you marry me?" the girl looks at Emmett with an innocent smile.

"I don't know. What's in it for me?" Emmett smiles devilishly.

"Anything you want."

"Anything?" He wiggles his eyebrows.

"Anything." She repeats.

"Go like this." Emmett opens his mouth suggestively. "Do you spit or swallow?"

The guys laugh.

"Whatever you, like." The girl looks slightly confused.

"Whatever I like? I would definitely marry you." Emmett states.

"It's so degrading man." Sam speaks to no one in particular.

"You're an asshole." Rose spits at Emmett.

"Yes I am." He smiles so huge and then beings to chuckle.

"It's terrible." Sam points this one at Emmett

"Ah-haa." Emmett laughs in earnest.

"I just want you guys to know that I feel for you now. I did it when I was a freshman, and you guys 'll do it when you're seniors. Now fry like bacon you little freshman piggies. Fry, fry." Tanya instructs the girls to lay down on the pavement and involuntary jerk themselves to look like bacon frying in a pan.

Eric, Mike watch as Bella walks up with a freshman (Angela).

"Oh, hello there." Eric greats them.

"I would like for you to propose to Eric. On your knees." Bella states to Angela

Angela goes down on her knees. Bella walks slightly away to distribute other freshmen.

"Oh God." Mike covers his face with his hands.

"Will you marry me?" Angela smiles up at Eric.

"What am I supposed to say here?" Eric looks to Mike for help.

"I don't know." Mike looks uncomfortable uncovering his face.

"What'll you do for me huh?"

"Anything you want."

"Imagine the possibilities." Eric turns to Mike with a smile on.

"Oh Jesus." Mike moans.

"No seriously you can stand up. What's your name?"

Angela gets up. "Angela"

"Hi I'm Eric." He shakes her hand and gets his covered in gunk in the process.

"Sorry." She smiles weakly

"This is Mike." Eric points to him.

"Hey." Mike waves to Angela.

"We were just discussing the utter stupidity of these initiation rituals and were kind of wondering why someone like you would subject yourself to the losing end of it all." Eric is generally interested in her.

"Are we having social hour over here? I'm supposed to be being a bitch. Back to the pit." Bella points out the middle of the lot with all the freshmen in a small area. Bella walks off with Angela.

"So am I mistaken or is there a little unspoken thing going on their with that young vixen? You stud." Mike jabs Eric's arm.

"Well, you know how it is." Eric shrugs.

"I guess she's pretty cute once you clean all the shit off her." Mike laughs into his hand.

"Yeah, I bet she is." Eric smiles to himself.

Jessica is in the middle of the parking lot addressing everyone.

"Okay girlies, it's hot out here, and I'm really sick of looking at all of you so lets just, lets get out of here. What are you looking at? Wipe that face off your head bitch. Let's go, get in the trucks, let's go, come on." Jessica demands and everyone scrambles.

"You know, I mean maybe if you ever left the poker table you know what I mean?" Mike nudges Eric.

"What do you mean if I ever left the poker table? What about you." Eric accuses Mike.

"What ever. The point is that's why we're going out tonight. You know? Hey you might experience something more tangible than an Abraham Lincoln dream."

Carlisle's truck with Laurent, Edward, and Emmett sitting in it.

"This is a hair line fracture right there. What's that all about?" Emmett points out a flaw in the Bat their handing around."

"What'd you do?" Edward Asks.

"I wouldn't doubt it, boy, my boy Carlisle was wearin' that ass out boy." Laurent gives a swing of his hand in reference.

"We'll just give them a little beating they'll never forget." Carlisle mimics back

"Who'd you do? Your Ma?" Edward asks in a teasing tone.

"That's your fucking mother."

"Say man. Fuck the coaches man. Just do it for us man." Laurent pleads Edward as he hands back the crumpled paper Ed had thrown away today.

"You picked this thing up?"

"Yeah you know." Laurent shrugs.

"Hey what are you doing?" Carlisle asks.

"What?"

"He ain't doing shit man."

"Got any more details of my life figured out that you're going to let me in on Carlisle?" Edward gives him an eyebrow.

"I got lots of details."

Aro walks up with his bat.

"Hey Volturi what ya doing?" Emmett calls as greeting.

"Oh you didn't hear did you?" Aro spits venom.

"No, what?" Carlisle asks.

"Oh you didn't you hear I got a shotgun pulled on my ass?"

"No way!" They all answer.

"I swear to god." Aro kicks Carlisle's tires.