Kate's Apartment
Why do I feel so warm? What is that delicious smell? Cherries? What is tickling my nose? Why do I feel like I had the best sleep I have had in months? I had the best dream. I dreamt that I shared a wonderful evening with Kate and she didn't run away when I told her that she was the love of my life. Wow, if only that was true! I know Kate and I had a good talk yesterday, but I don't think she is ready to hear that yet. What is that sound? I need to open my eyes and force myself out of bed. I can't believe Kate hasn't called about a body drop or at least to find out when her daily caffeine fix will arrive. So much for this nice warm bed and the best dream-filled sleep ever!
What is that sound? Am I snoring? Huh…I didn't know I did that. Why is the TV on? Did I fall asleep on the couch again? Why do I feel so comfortable and rested then? I don't normally sleep this soundly on my lumpy old couch. I actually didn't wake up once during the night. I didn't have any nightmares only happy dreams. Rick told me I was the love of his life and I didn't run away? That was a good dream. I want to be with him more than anything but I don't think I'm ready for a confession like that. I still haven't told him my secret yet. I can't believe my phone hasn't rung to alert me to yet another murder. Looks like a paperwork day again… boring! That means no twinkling blue eyes, or high- end coffee for me unless Castle is bored at home.
Rick?
Kate?
What are…?
Did we…?
We must have fallen asleep watching the movie.
Yeah…I don't…
Me either. What time is it?
5:30
Okay.
Do you need to get ready for work now?
No, I don't have to be in until 8 unless a body drops.
Do you want me to leave? Please say no. Please say no.
No, you don't have to go. We can stay here a little longer unless you have somewhere else you have to be. Please say you can stay. I hope he can see it in my eyes how much I want him to stay.
You just don't want to get up do you?
Well it is nice and warm right here.
You are just using me for body heat aren't you?
Do you have a problem with that?
No problem at all.
I thought you would enjoy being my personal heater since you like invading my personal space so much.
You have no idea how much I am enjoying this.
Me too.
Is this okay?
I feel safe right here.
I'd do anything to keep you safe. You know that right?
I think you have proven that on a number of occasions over the last year.
You're my partner. You have done the same for me.
We are more than just partners and we both know that now.
It took some of us longer than others to figure that out.
I'm sorry I couldn't admit to it sooner.
It's okay. I have the patience of a saint remember?
There is nothing saintly about you Castle.
Yeah, I couldn't even pull that one off without laughing.
Rick, did you mean what you said last night?
What? That Sandra Bullock is hot?
No.
What then?
You said that I am the love of your life?
I have never been more serious. Why?
I was just making sure that I didn't dream it.
Move Castle.
Where are you going?
I've got to go.
Kate, wait, I thought you said you didn't have to get ready yet. Don't run away from this.
I'm not running. I have to use the bathroom. I'll be right back.
Really?
Yes, it's not everyday that a girl gets to have a ruggedly handsome writer be her personal heater.
I could make that happen. I know people.
Oh, I wish I were ready to wake up in his arms every morning. I'll get back to you on that one. Slide over so I can have my spot back.
Can we just stay cuddled up here all day?
As much as I am enjoying my personal heater I do have some paperwork to finish up today.
Just paperwork, huh?
You don't have to come in today if you don't want to.
Do you want me there?
I wouldn't mind it if you decided to make an appearance later today. But I understand how boring watching me do paperwork is for you.
The paperwork is boring…watching you is never boring.
Do you want some coffee?
You are going to get me coffee?
I'm not going to get coffee.
Do you want me to get up and get you some?
No, the timer on my coffee maker is set for 6:45. I was thinking we could stay just like this until it was ready and then we could have breakfast together before I have to get ready and you head home to Alexis.
Shit! Alexis!
What?
I didn't call her last night and I didn't make it home either. She will be worried.
Do you need to go home?
No, I'll just send her a quick text and let her know that I stayed here.
Wait… she might think that we…
No, I'll just tell her we fell asleep.
I just don't want her to think that we slept together.
We did!
Castle! You know what I mean!
I'll tell her what I always tell her, the truth. It will be okay.
You know that I am a very private person and I just…
Is this about Alexis or about you wanting to keep "us" to ourselves for the time being?
There isn't an, us.
Kate? What are you saying? There's always been an "us", it's just not the "us" we both want.
There isn't an "us", yet. But I do want to keep it just between us, once it does happen, at least for a little while.
I am all for keeping it to ourselves. I like the idea of me having you all to myself. Especially when we become an "us'.
You have me all to yourself now, Castle.
Kate, are you saying…?
I'm saying… What the hell am I saying? I'm saying that I would really like for you to kiss me right now.
Are you sure?
No.
Kate?
Shut up and kiss me Rick!
I suddenly feel his breath on my cheek. Rick slowly closes the gap between us and gently brushes his lips across mine. Before I even have a chance to react his lips are gone. I feel myself lean forward as my eyes drift open. I want more than that chaste kiss. I want that undercover kiss again.
Kate…I...
Castle?
Kate, if I let myself kiss you again, I don't know if I will be able to hold back anymore.
Oh, Oh.
As much as I want to kiss you again…I don't trust myself to stop with just a kiss after being snuggled up with you like this all morning. I don't want to mess this up. I don't want you to…
Run away again?
Yeah. It's just… I said I would wait.
I'm sorry. I know this isn't fair to you. I am giving you so many mixed signals right now.
It's okay. This is enough for now.
Maybe we should have that coffee now?
Good idea. I really don't trust myself in this position.
As awkward as this situation could have been it wasn't. We just endured a comfortable silence both lost in our thoughts of what could have happened or what would happen someday. I hope that someday is soon. I am glad he showed restraint because I don't know if my traitorous body could have overruled my head at that particular moment.
I know I mentioned breakfast, but I don't have anything to make us and my milk is probably spoiled so that rules out cereal too. Rain check?
If that is your way of saying we can do that waking up together thing again, you bet your ass I want a rain check.
Soon, I promise.
I'll hold you to that.
I better get ready for work now.
I'll leave you to it then.
Would it be okay to give him a kiss on the cheek or a hug before he goes? Would it be too much?
Kate, are you okay?
Yeah, just thinking.
About?
Debating whether I should hug or kiss you at the door before you leave.
How about one of each?
Can you control yourself?
Can you?
After a brief moment of consideration I wrapped him in my arms and brushed my lips across his cheek. As I pulled away and made eye contact I could see it in those deep blue pools how much he was reigning in his emotions.
Will I see you later?
Do you want to?
Yes.
I'll meet you at Remy's for lunch?
Sounds good.
Bye Kate.
Bye.
I made a promise to myself as I leaned against my door that I was going to tell him my secret before we went on our "date" to my mom's fundraiser. I just hope he still thinks that I am the love of his life after he hears the truth.
