A/N- Just leaves this here before running away for 2 weeks. BTW, if you didn't like Splinter before, then you really wont like this chapter...Happy reading! xxx

7. Not the Conversation that was Wanted

"Alright guys, let's go!" Casey hollered, handing the turtles long coats, shirts, trousers and hats. He had arranged to take them to an ice-hockey match.

"But Casey, it ain't even ice-hockey season." Raph muttered. He hated these disguises.

"Raph, it's ALWAYS ice-hockey season when you have an indoor rink. Come on, the match starts in an hour. If we got time we can grab some nachos before we go in."

A 'woo-hoo' from Mikey moved the group along a lot quicker. "You coming LH?"

Leatherhead smiled but shook his head. "I am afraid not Michelangelo. I am a little too large to be disguised successfully, and I am not a fan of the cold. Have a wonderful evening though, my friends. Enjoy the rest of your birthday."

"Thanks Leatherhead!" the group cheered before continuing to dress.

The alligator stepped towards Venus, who smiled in greeting.

"I am sorry your father is not here to see you today, Miss Venus, but I am sure he would be very proud."

"Thank you Leatherhead," Venus replied, touched by the alligator's concern. She had never really had a full on conversation with the mutant.

"And whatever disagreements you have had with Master Splinter, I hope they are resolved soon, for both your sakes."

Venus was taken aback. "What do you-"

"I am acute to sensing tension in the air; my time with Bishop taught me that. I am sure the rat means well, but you don't have to live under his thumb anymore." He dropped his eyes to the ground. "And if you wanted a bit of support outside of the lair, I would be more than happy to offer it."

Venus smiled gently, suddenly understanding. She stood on tip-toe to place a small kiss on the alligator's cheek.

"Thank you Leatherhead, I appreciate the help, I really do. But I think this is something I need to figure out on my own."

She found herself unknowingly looking at Leo who was stood a distance behind Leatherhead, zipping a rather large coat. The alligator caught the look and smiled, failing to hide a twinge of sadness.

"I understand, Miss Venus. I wish you all the luck in the world, for I know you already have the strength."

He bowed his head and exited the lair, leaving Venus feeling slightly guilty and surprised. How had he known? She jumped out of her thoughts when April handed Venus some clothes. She was about to put on a massive jumper but the turtle caught a stern look from Master Splinter. He gently shook his head. Venus frowned before she realised what he meant: He didn't want her to go to the match. She looked at him in confusion before he gestured for her to follow him.

"Venus?" April asked, wondering why she wasn't changing. Venus turned.

"Erm, I'm gonna have to catch you up."

"Why?"

"Master Splinter wants to speak to me." Venus couldn't hide the hope and apprehension in her voice, but April smiled anyway, somewhat relieved.

"Oh Venus that's great. Maybe he wants to discuss 'events' and given it's your birthday, maybe it is good news?"

"Maybe," was all Venus said before she waved the guys off.

"But you gotta come Venus!" Mikey whined, not wanting her to stay.

"Sorry Mikey, but I really wouldn't enjoy it." She decided not to mention her summons from their father, so as not to raise suspicion. "Cramped spaces filled with people isn't exactly my favourite pastime. Besides, I don't even understand hockey, and I doubt you all want to spend the match explaining it to me rather than watching it."

A few nods and grunts of agreements answered her before the group moved off towards the elevator. She smiled, waving goodbye, but Leo saw something in her look. It was…anticipation. He frowned and Venus caught it but the elevator doors closed before she could do anything about it. Taking a deep breath, she turned to the meditation chamber and tentatively stepped inside. She was greeted by Splinter kneeling at the other end, eyes closed and surrounded by candles. Swallowing dryly, she walked towards him before kneeling in front of him, shaking a tiny bit. She was both excited and scared of the impending conversation.

"Miss Venus." Splinter greeted, not coldly but the use of her name still made her flinch. She dipped her head a little.

"Master Splinter." She raised it again, looking directly at the rat. She hadn't called him 'sensei' in over half a year. "You wanted to speak with me?"

"Yes. About your current…situation."

Heart pounding in her ears, Venus raised her bow, hope clear in her eyes but the rat still didn't open his eyes.

"What about it?"

"I believe I may have found a solution."

"You have?" Venus couldn't hold it in. Her anticipated excitement got the better of her. "Oh Master Splinter I'm so glad! Sitting in the lair today, laughing and joking with the guys, it felt like just old times. And when April brought that photo album out I realised how much I have missed living here, in my home."

"That's wonderful Venus but-"

"And you know? The crazy thing is that you were right. I did need some time alone to gather my thoughts and focus on my training. I have at last managed to master my chi energy (sort of) and can produce a shield. It doesn't last too long at the moment but I have been improving every day. Perhaps being back in familiar surroundings will make me even stronger." Venus took a pause to take a deep breath and forsake her pride. "And, I'm sorry Master Splinter, for everything that happened before. And I forgive you for the cruelties you dealt me. I hope now we can all live in peace, as a untied family again."

There was a moment of silence between the pair, but for some reason, despite all the candles, Venus believed she felt the room grow colder all of a sudden. She looked at the rat's face, for any sign of a reaction, of a smile, but found it blank, even when his eyes finally opened. They were dark.

"I think you misunderstand my intentions here, Miss Venus. I was going to merely explain that I believe I have found you a suitable home in the sewers. There is a small abandoned station just under three miles away, still within our territory. It is very safe I can assure you, and I believe you will find it most suitable."

It was as if Venus' world was made of fragile glass, which had just been shattered by a wild herd of elephants raging through it. Her whole world came crashing down around her.

"I don't understand…"

"What is there not to understand? I have found you a new home, a home of your own. Now that you are an adult, you have the freedom to stop being a burden on Miss O'Neil."

Venus' throat was suddenly dry and painful as she tried to stay calm from the shock and…betrayal. She had been wrong. She had been completely and utterly wrong.

"A new home?"

"Yes, one not so far away that you are completely isolated but far enough so that you can have your own privacy." He paused, contemplating his next words. "And Leatherhead would not be far from you at all, so should you ever want some company other than my sons…"

"Company?" Venus snorted, her foolishness causing embarrassed anger to rise bitterly within her; the alligator's words from just moments ago echoed in her head. "Leatherhead was very kind to me this evening. Tell me, did you speak to him when you found my 'new home'?"

"You know Venus, I'm only trying to help-"

"Help? You try and push me into another's life after keeping me shut out from my family and call it 'help'?" Venus asked incredulously. She knew she was risking a fight with the old rat but right now she didn't care. She wasn't going to back down easily.

"You know that you are not related to my sons."

"Neither are you," Venus bit back, standing now. "Neither are Casey and April but you can bet your damn life that they consider the guys family. They admitted it today!"

"And you admitted that I was right to send you away from them to focus on your training."

"We both know that that wasn't the only reason."

There was an awkward silence as the rat rose too, his face blank while he took a deep breath, as if trying to control himself.

"I thought that was why you gave me the sword," Venus whispered, her desperation betraying her promise to be stern. "I thought you believed I was ready to come home. That I had been gone long enough and could return."

Splinter refused to look at the turtle, his mind a whirring mess. This was his chance to forget everything. To make peace with Venus; she had just forgiven him, hadn't she? The giving of the sword was at least a little attempt to save the severely damaged bridge between them. Once side craved for her forgiveness, regretting everything he had done. But then the image of not just Leonardo lying battered and bloodied, but all four of his sons, trying to save Venus who had been knocked down earlier, flashed through his mind. A recurring nightmare he suffered. Leonardo would rush to save her immediately, his love for her blinding him to better judgment, and not seeing the Shredder, he is cut down straight away, leaving his brothers to fight alone.

This was the vision he faced ever since his son was beaten half to death. Because of her.

"No. I deemed it appropriate today since I am no longer required to be responsible for you."

He didn't see the hurt shock on her face; he didn't want to. The less he saw the easier it would be to detach himself from his words. Malicious words that he knew would crash through her barrier of pride and false hope.

"You dare say you forgive me. Me? When it is I who should grant you that gift? You allowed my son to be battered right in front of your very eyes, and rather than prevent it, you aggravated it. You lost a highly important shipment and drew my son out all night with you to 'shake off the Foot', making who knows what promises to him. You ran off rashly because of a measly nightmare, your 'promises' prompting my son to chase after you, resulting in both of your captures." Now he looked at her, focusing on her eyes so as not to see her expression. "You claimed to 'love' my son, but this is what you have caused, Venus de Milo. And while you cannot protect him, you cannot protect any of my sons. You are a danger to them."

"But I can protect them!" Venus suddenly cried, seething anger suddenly flooding through her veins. It was everything she could do to not barbeque the rodent right there and then. "I am in touch with my chi energy! I can create a shield, create safe guards. It will only take a few weeks to master it completely-"

"I DO NOT CARE!" The rat roared, and Venus took a step back, afraid. She could see the hatred in his eyes, an emotion he had only ever before felt for the Shredder, the man who destroyed her life whilst bringing her to New York and unknowingly giving her a new one. But seeing that hatred, her hope suddenly died within her as she realised something: She had not just lost the battle, she had lost the war.

Master Splinter panted, his sudden anger catching him by surprise. He willed himself to calm down, knowing that although he doubted Venus would attack him, it was unwise to antagonise her so. But he needed to keep his argument strong and unflinching, no matter how cruel.

"I will repeat my argument from a few months ago: You cannot have Leonardo. His duty is to his family, not to you. You will distract him, causing accidental pain to himself or worse, to his loved ones. It has been six months and it seems he has forgotten about whatever happened. Can't you just let it go, for his sake?"

Venus ignored the attempt to appeal to her morals. "I would not attempt to 'have' Leonardo. I do not own him and neither do you. You cannot dictate his actions anymore! He is an adult now, and you have no right to control him so."

"He knows his duty. He knows his role when I am gone, and he accepted it gladly."

"Do you think he would ever have refused you, given how devoted he is to you, both as a student and a son?"

"He is firstly my son, and he will respect my wishes."

"And what are they? What are your 'wishes'? That he should live loveless his whole life while he leads his brothers to safety and victory? His brothers will be free to love and do as they wish while their leader sits alone before a shrine of their father, always questioning his leadership but never wanting to burden his brothers with his pain."

"I am protecting him from pain."

"You are condemning him to live a life alone and therefore full of pain! A life so lonely that it is not really a life at all!"

"Don't be ridiculous-"

"Because I know that you do not mean to just keep me away from him, but every being that might see him for the kind, compassionate, loving, and honourable man your son is. You are allowing your son to stay alive, but not to live."

"ENOUGH!" The rat growled, shaking his head. He couldn't listen to her words anymore, couldn't let them sink in. "I will hear no more. You are not returning to live here and you are not to peruse Leonardo in any way. You are to move out of April's so that she may be free and you are to begin a new life in your new home. I know I cannot separate my sons from you completely but you must not cling onto a life that is gone now Venus." Looking down, the rat sighed, as if weary from the conflict. "I think it would be better for everyone if you just let go of the past."

"I will do when you do."

Splinter didn't even have time to register the bitter reply before the doors to the meditation chamber slammed shut and he was alone in the room once more. He raised his head, confused yet fully understanding Venus' words. He had to give her credit; she was just as stubborn as him.

With the scent of jasmine wafting through the air, calming himself down, Master Splinter laid out all his problems out in front of him: He had no doubt that Venus had loved his son, and suspected Leonardo felt the same. But she had caused him to suffer such pain because she loved him so much; because she kept begging for that monster Hun to release him. In her panic and fear she kept begging for mercy, blind to the fact it was causing more pain. Splinter pictured his son, weak, in turn begging Venus to be silent. He could hear his weak voice and couldn't bear it. True, Venus had in turn saved them by having enough sense to call the others, but the damage had been done. What Splinter wanted to know was how they were captured in the first place, his suspicions running wild: Leonardo had run off to find Venus and no doubt comfort her, and the next morning he was carried into his home, unconscious, whilst Venus walked in quite steadily. Splinter had not acknowledged her injuries that night, only the condition of his son before, in fear, he returned to his default tactic to hide his fear. He rounded on Venus and shamefully tried to turn his other sons against her. He drove her out of her home for six months out of fear. He kept her away out of fear. And tonight he announced the next stage of her isolation, again out of fear.

He didn't want his son to live without love, not at all. But Leonardo was so inexperienced that the rat was afraid his son would fall blindly, risking everything even when he didn't need to, like his nightmare. He would become reckless and spontaneous, and although perhaps before Splinter may have blessed the relationship, these feelings frightened him. The night they had failed to capture the shipment had frightened him too. Without it, they had no idea what Shredder was planning, and the rat walked around with dread in his stomach constantly. He was afraid for his sons due to the shipment, and because they had failed to capture it that night. It wasn't just Venus' fault that it went missing; others had made mistakes too. But it had scared Splinter, and he turned her brave honesty, wanting to save Leonardo from blame for once, against her. That night, feared finally coiled around the old rat's heart. And he pinned all his stress and frustrations on Venus.

She didn't realise that in telling the truth that she had inadvertently saved Leonardo from a worse fate; she suffered the hatred of Splinter instead of Leonardo suffering his disappointment. He had gradually calmed down until Leonardo did not return that night, the call from his shell-cell causing the fear to set in. Along with his unjustified vindictiveness upon Venus. Once she was gone, he returned to normal with his sons, enjoying their happiness after the shock of their friend's departure. But every time she returned the coil tightened. He had to lie to his sons at first, shame flooding him as he invented her 'training' excuse, helped by Leonardo's lack of mentioning whatever transpired between him and Venus. Perhaps he believed she didn't love him anymore.

He wanted his sons to know love. He wanted them to know the joy his beloved Master Yoshi had felt with Tang Shen. And none of them deserved it more than Leonardo. But his duty and responsibility prevented him from ever sharing this bond. The burden that he placed on his son now stopped him from knowing one of life's great happiness's.

But Venus would share the burden, not distract him.

No, he would not dare think such through. It was too late to look for resolution and redemption. Tonight showed that Venus would never forgive him. He wondered if in the future, if he ever discovered the full truth, if Leonardo ever would either.