I finally finished this chapter. I kept laughing and couldn't get myself to finishing typing the sentences because one particular scene kept playing in my head. You'll find out when you read it. Let's see. If you haven't figured it out most of the information I use comes from the anime but there are some parts that are from the manga like with the general. He really is Riza's grandfather, on her mother's side, and he did offer her hand to Roy. Gotta love him for that. Okay, what else is there to talk about? Oh, right. My reviewers. From what I can tell, you all really like my story especially Tsuiraku Nami and ChibiRaccoon. I thank you all for that. Tsunade-chan, I'm more of a chocolate pocky person but strawberry flavor is good too. Okay, let's get on with the story. Enjoy!
Maes laid in the bed with Havoc and Falman. He was beginning to regain consciousness. There was a warm breath on the back of his neck. Unbeknownst to him, his head was beside that of Falman's. Havoc's foot that was once there was now hanging off the side of the much like his other one. Maes was still somewhat in his dream world, which consisted of Glacier, but was beginning to wake up. Falman's breath was adding to the effects of what Maes was dreaming about.
"Glacier, I like it when you blow on my neck like that," Maes said dreaming. He moved his face so that it was inches from what he thought was his wife's face; his eyes were still closed. In actuality it was Falman's face that he was getting closer and closer to. "Shall I have you now, my dear?" With that said, Maes lowered himself until his lips touched another's. He found the lips to be rough and chapped, not soft and tender like his Glacier's. Immediately, he opened his eyes to find a horrified Falman staring back at him. They quickly broke the kiss and started screaming. Maes went flying back. He grabbed onto the nearest thing to keep him from falling flat on his back. Too bad for Maes and especially for Havoc that the closest object to Maes's hand at the time was Havoc's "thing". Havoc let out a yelp and shot up to a sitting position but because the bed was too small for the three them Havoc found himself falling backwards off the bed. As soon as Maes realized what he had grabbed, he immediately let it go and fell to the ground. Falman was the only one that was still on the bed. He got into a sitting position.
"What the hell?" Falman shouted as he started spitting and rubbing his mouth furiously with his arm trying to get rid of the taste in his mouth. Luckily for Falman, Maes didn't use his tongue. Maes was doing the same thing that Falman was doing from his position on the ground while Havoc was tending to his pain. "Why did you kiss me, sir?"
"Sorry, I thought you were my wife. Let's forget this ever happened." Falman agreed, and Maes got up off the ground still spitting and rubbing. He looked around at his surroundings to find that he was in the infirmary. 'Roy and Riza must have brought me here after I fainted. But why were these two here in bed with me?' Maes was somewhat relieved at what he found in the infirmary. They were the only people in there. Although he got a little scared when he felt the bandages around his arm and leg. The events from earlier came rushing back to him but he sighed in relief because Riza wasn't there. Next he had to figure what was going on. "Why were you two in bed with me?"
"I don't know," Havoc answered after he got off the ground and situated himself on the edge of the bed near Falman's legs. Maes followed his action and sat on the other side of Falman's legs. "Last thing I remember was being bear hugged by Armstrong while Mustang was accidentally kissing Hawkeye."
"Same here," Falman said as he moved his legs so that he was sitting Indian-style, giving the others more room to sit. "Armstrong must have laid me and Havoc here after they realized that we were unconscious. And I guess Colonel Mustang and Lieutenant Hawkeye must have laid you on top of us whenever they brought you back to bandage you up since this was the only bed left."
"I guess that make sense," Maes said still thinking about it. Havoc nodded in agreement. "But where is everyone else?"
"They were all released," a voice answered from the doorway. They turned their eyes to look at the figure standing there, but they already knew whom it was by the sparkles that were flying over them. There standing a few feet away from them was the behemoth better known as Major Armstrong. "They all recovered enough to return to their duties." Armstrong made his way across the room until he was standing at the foot of the bed. "I was ordered to stay and watch after you three. I stepped out for a few minutes to use the bathroom. I'm glad that all of you are awake. How are you feeling?"
"We're fine," Maes said nervously. He and the other two knew what was bound to happen if they stayed in Armstrong presence for too long. "If that is all then we will take our leave now." But before they could even get off the bed, Armstrong ripped off his shirt and started flexing in front of them. The three of them paled and muttered, "Here, we go."
"But I cannot let you leave yet. Colonel Mustang told me that you wanted to hear about my entire family heritage. Since Lieutenant Havoc and Warrant Officer Falman are here, they can join in on the stories."
Armstrong began his long, very long, extremely long story about his family line. Every five seconds he would change into a different pose. Sparkles engulfed the room Maes, Havoc, and Falman sat and unwillingly listened to Armstrong. Every once and a while they would dodge one of those sparkles. 'Roy is a dead man,' Maes thought as he tried to zone out Armstrong's voice. 'What did I do deserve to this? Remember, this is for Hughes's birthday. This will only make you stronger. Just endure it a little longer. It shouldn't be that long, twenty minutes, a half hour at most.' Havoc and Falman both thought as they had managed to drown out Armstrong. Although all of their concentrations were broken when Armstrong lifted the bed with them still on it to illustrate his story about his great-great-great-great grandmother's strength at the age of 89.
Three hours later, Armstrong finished and allowed them to leave. Two walking zombies left the infirmary dragging a lifeless Havoc behind them. Armstrong left as well heading towards the mess hall. It was lunchtime for everyone. After a while, Maes and Falman had finally transformed back to their normal selves. Havoc had return to normal when they passed a blonde female lieutenant. The three of them made their way through the hallway towards Roy's and theirs office. Havoc and Falman were going to get back to work, and Maes was going to kill Roy or at least torture him. Along the way, the military personnel were snickering at them as they walked through the hall. None knew the reason why until they came across Ed and Al.
"Hey Lieutenant Colonel, why is there a large cardboard picture of you sleeping with these two outside at every wall of HQ?" Maes, Havoc, and Falman bolted for the nearest window. Theirs jaws dropped, face paled, and eyes widen when they saw the picture outside. There standing a few yards from the building was a humongous picture of them in a bed together, in less than innocent positions. The pictures nearly towered over the building.
"ROY!" Maes sprinted at full speed down the hallway to Roy's office. Havoc and Falman were left still staring at themselves. They were only brought out of it when a hand fell on each of their shoulders. They turned around to see Fuery and Breda grinning at them. Moments later Ed and Al were standing with them. Fuery was giving Havoc a sympathetic pat on the back while Breda was doing the same with Falman.
"Colonel says he's sorry," Fuery said guiding the two them back to the office. Breda walked with Ed and Al explaining what had happened. Ed was trying to hold back as much laughter as he could. When he couldn't hold it back, Havoc and Falman would turn around glaring at him which prompted him to stop laughing. Al was feeling a bit ashamed that Roy would go that far but didn't voice his opinion. Fuery was trying to cheer Falman and Havoc up. "He said that he would make it up to you two. We are all going out for drinks later; it's on him. Also he said he would find girlfriends for the two of you if that makes you feel any better."
"Really?" Havoc asked with hope. His eyes seemed to have lit up when he heard that he might be getting a girlfriend. That shine quickly left when a thought came into his mind. 'He'd probably end up stealing her away from me.' Havoc's shoulders slumped even further down at that realization. Fuery saw his shoulders slump and gave him another reassuring pat on the back.
"He promised that he wouldn't steal this one away from you. Said something about having his eyes on someone for himself already."
"Although we don't know who it is," Breda added. "Maybe it's that girl from the flower shop, Grace."
The group finally made it to the office. They didn't go in when they noticed the door was partly open and remembered that Maes had run ahead them to Roy's office. They could hear things being thrown and other things crashing onto the floor. Immediately, they about faced and walked towards the mess hall. They knew what would happen if they went in there. They only made it about a foot before hearing Maes scream at the top of his lungs.
"ROY! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU!"
"Let's get out of here!" All of them ran as fast as they could down the hall. The group broke up into small groups when they came to an intersection of the hallways. Ed and Al went left towards the stairs. Fuery and Havoc headed straight ahead, and Falman and Breda took the left hall. Both of the hallways would later led to another set of stairs. Before breaking up they agreed to meet at the mess hall. During all this time none of them thought to warn Roy.
Meanwhile outside in the courtyard, Roy and Riza sat under a tree eating their lunch and doing their paperwork. Roy had actually convinced Riza to let him eat his lunch outside but on the condition that his paperwork went with him. They sat shoulder to shoulder with each other. Roy sat on the right and Riza on the left. Both sat with their legs out in front of them to support a small pile of paper they had as they signed them. On the left side of Roy sat two other piles of papers: ones that he completed and ones that he hadn't. When he was done with the pile on his legs he would put in the complete pile and grab some from the other. It was a bit windy outside so the stacks had to be weighed down. One had his gloves, and Hayate's sleeping head weighed the other down. There were similar things on Riza's side. A small stack was on her legs. There were also two piles of papers beside her legs. Each one was kept from flying away by her guns. In addition there was a tray of food next to one of the stacks.
Riza was signing papers with her right hand while holding half a sandwich in the other. She had her elbow rested on her upper thigh to keep the sandwich near her face so she could take a bite out of every once and a while. Also she would move her hand to her left so that Roy could take a bite out of it as well. Earlier Roy had complained about not being allowed to eat his lunch and do his paperwork at the same time. Riza knew that Roy would be easily distracted by his lunch and not do his work. The only solution, Riza would share her lunch with him while he signed his papers. So they sat there writing and eating. They were only brought out of their work by a scream.
"I see that they have woken up," Roy said looking up from his paperwork. He moved his eyes in the direction of where the scream supposedly came from. "They slept longer than what I thought they would." He then turned his eyes to look at Riza. His face was adorned with that smirk of his. Riza's head was still lowered to concentrate on the papers in front of her. She paid no attention to Roy. Rather she just took another bite out of her sandwich. Roy still pushed on with his smirk. "From their screaming I take it that Maes, Havoc, and Falman found my little surprise for them."
"Was that really necessary to pull Havoc and Falman into your revenge? They did nothing wrong. In fact they're helping you with Maes's birthday party."
"I know, but it was the perfect opportunity to get back at Maes for telling everyone I got you pregnant. Besides I'm making it up to them later tonight."
"I guess it's alright. Only if you apologize to them and they forgive you."
"I'm sure they will."
"You do know that Maes will find a way to return the favor. He's not going to forgive you so easily."
"I'll be ready for whatever he throws at me, and he'll eventually forgive me when we reach the final part of the plan."
Riza continued on with her work while Roy continued to stare at her. She knew that he was still staring and tried her best to not let it affect her. Her hand continued to write while she took another bite of what was left of her sandwich. Finally she couldn't take it anymore and turned to look at Roy, intent on telling him to go back to work. Roy took this chance and leaned forward to kiss her. Riza saw this coming and leaned forwards toward her legs. Roy went down hitting the tree trunk. He immediately came back up to his sitting position rubbing his forehead. Riza leaned back against the tree.
"Get back to your paperwork, sir, unless you think that it isn't enough. I can go get you some more."
Roy immediately turned himself back to his original position and started scribbling like crazy. Riza returned to her work with what seemed like a smile. That smile quickly went away to show that she wasn't affected by his bluntness even if she was. Once certain that Riza was complete immerse in her work, Roy would gaze at her out the corner of his eyes. 'Why is it that none of my advances work on her? Most women would have met me halfway there. Is she immune to my charms? What charms? You just tried to kiss her. Hey! Didn't I tell you to leave me alone! Right, I forgot. Bye. I really am losing my mind.' Just then Roy saw another opportunity to lure his Riza closer to him or at least find out if she liked him as a potential, secret boyfriend.
Riza was about to put the final piece of her sandwich in her mouth when Roy grabbed her by the wrist. She quickly turned her head to look at him. Roy's face was only a few inches away from hers.He pulled her hand closer to his mouth. He gave a small smirk before taking the sandwich and her fingers in his mouth. Her cheeks showed a tint of red in them. They got a darker as Roy slowly pulled his mouth from her hand. His slow movement let her feel his tongue against the back of her fingers. It shocked him when he saw her smile. 'She does like me.' Then out of the corner of his eye he saw her other hand move towards her gun. He knew why she was smiling now. At almost lightening speed he removed his mouth from her fingers and went back to his paperwork, chewing the sandwich in his mouth.
"I thought so, sir." Roy looked out of the corner of his eyes to see Riza grab a napkin instead of her gun. She took the napkin and wiped her hand free of his saliva. By now her cheeks had returned to its normal, pale color. But Roy's cheeks were a bright red, whether from embarrassment or from the heat he felt when he had her fingers in his mouth. 'Okay, maybe she doesn't like me that way but her smile was worth risking a bullet in the head.' Roy returned his attention back to his paperwork but ever once and a while he would look back at Riza. "Stay on task, sir."
After about five minutes, Riza had finally completed her work. She slouched down a bit against the tree while she contently ate a bowl of chocolate pudding. Roy still had a ways to go on the count that he kept staring at Riza. Whenever Roy would stare at her for too long she would have to threaten him with more paperwork. He would immediately get back to work. A few minutes later, Roy became restless and tried to abandon his work.
"Get back to work, sir."
"But it's boring."
"You'll never become Fuhrer with that attitude."
"Can't I at least have the rest of my dessert? You eaten most of it already."
"You haven't done anything to deserve it. Now get back to work."
Roy put on his most pitiful puppy dog eyes in hopes of getting at least a spoonful of his dessert. It was no use. Riza had endured the puppy eyes of Hayate and Fuery. She easily repelled Roy's eyes. Instead she teased Roy by savoring a spoonful of pudding. She slowly licked the pudding that remained on the spoon after it was removed out of her mouth. Roy sat there staring at her. His entire focus was on her mouth and tongue. 'Why does she have to do that? She's teasing me, and it's working. I wish I was that spoon right now' Riza was actually having fun messing with Roy's mind. She took another spoonful. This time there was a small amount that stayed at the corner of her mouth when she removed the spoon. Before she could even move her hand to wipe it off, she felt a bare hand slide across her face cupping it. The next thing that she felt was Roy's tongue licking off the excess pudding. She immediately blushed five different shades of red. It was a bold move on Roy's part. He knew that she could reach her gun and was expecting her to point it at him at that exact moment. Instead his form of punishment came as a hard slap in the face that resulted in him smashing his head against the tree. He sat back against the tree gently rubbing his newly acquired head injury.
"What was that for?" Roy said as he stared at Riza's blushing face. She was definitely affected this time and there was no way she could hide it. Roy was blushing as well but it wasn't as bad as hers. The entire time she was staring down at her lap.
"That was inappropriate, sir!" Riza didn't look up. She couldn't look into Roy's eyes. There was no way that she could face him after what he had just done. A smirk came across Roy's face. It was the closest he'd ever gotten to kissing her on his own accord. The other times were accidents. But a kiss was a kiss to Roy, no matter how he got it. He pulled his legs under him and turned to face her. Gently, he cupped her face and turned it so that it was looking at him. Riza quickly darted her eyes to look at the building behind Roy. It would take a couple of seconds but Riza moved her eyes to look back at Roy. He took this opportunity to lean forwards. Riza wanted to get away from Roy but he had a firm, but not hurtful, grip on her face. Now was not the time for his advances. He was only a few inches away from kissing her when she interrupted him. "Roy, you better start running."
"Why?" he asked her confused.
"Because Maes is at the corner of the building."
Roy turned his head and sure enough there was Maes searching for him. Maes's back was turned to them. Roy let go of Riza's face and bolted in the opposite direction of Maes with his gloves in hand. He wasn't going to stick around for Maes's punishment. Riza breathed a sigh of relief. Sure she wanted to kiss him but now was not the right time. She wanted their first real kiss to be special and when they were alone. By the time Maes had noticed and walked over to her, she had her stoic face back and was stacking all the paperwork.
"Riza, have you seen, Roy?" Maes asked when he was standing above her. Hayate started bouncing around the man. He had woken up when Riza had pulled the paperwork that the pup was half sleeping on out from under him. Riza stood with the stack of paper in one arm while the other held the empty tray.
"He went that way," she said. The arm with the tray straightened out to point to the left. It was the direction that Roy had run off to. "I have no clue where he was going. He started running when he saw you. I take it, you saw what he did."
"Yes, and I'm going to make him pay. I take it you had no part in it."
"Of course I wouldn't."
"Yeah, I should have known. You're more along physical injury when it comes to revenge." At that moment he touched his injured arm. There was no point in getting back at Riza because there was no reason to. The earlier events were because of his misunderstanding. If she was involved, which was highly doubtful, he'd just get himself full of bullets. Flames he could dodge but not bullets. "Well, I better get going before he gets too far."
"Wait! Take Hayate with you. He can find Roy no matter where he hides; besides he needs the exercise. Also try not to hurt Roy too bad, at least not his hands. I still have some paperwork for him to finish."
"Of course, working is one of the things he hates to do. It'll give me another way to get back at him. Thanks for your help. Come, Hayate."
Maes ran off to find Roy. Hayate kept up with the man's speed and was running alongside him. Riza stood at the tree for a while looking at their disappearing figures before she made her way back inside.
"I hope you found a good place to hide, Roy, because Maes is going to torture you mercilessly when he finds you."
That was a fun chapter to write. I hope you laugh until your sides start hurting. I'm glad that some of you think this is a funny story. I kind of find it somewhat comical that my entire family says that I have no sense of humor. Until next time, which is probably next week.
