Chapter 7 – Recovery

Gabi's POV

Flipping through the TV channels for the fiftieth million time, I tossed the remote over as I heard his familiar chuckle from the doorway, "It's not funny," I protested, Dr. Johnny laughed, "It kind of is, I have never seen such a restless patient in my life!" he bellowed, I tried not to laugh as it hurt but it crept up my chest.

"Fine, maybe because I am a mother of five and I have never had four days to sit and do nothing since before I was pregnant with my first child," Dr. Johnny laughed as again as he went over my chart from the previous night.

"Looks like you had another good night, I don't see why you can't go home tomorrow morning,"

"Why not tonight," I begged, he smiled, "I'm teasing, I'll talk to Dr. Mills who should have your pathology report to give back to you today. I mean it is Monday. I don't see why you can't go home today and come back next week."

I grinned, "Really because I am so ready to go home."

"You have to say goodbye to some of the good drugs,"

"But you will give me supplements," I said batting my eyes, he laughed, "Yea, I will."

He looked over the papers again as he then smiled, "Come on, let me see my hard work," I rolled my eyes as I unbuttoned my shirt and he unwrapped the ace bandages as he took a look, they were tender as he touched them softly. I cringed and he smiled, "They will be like that for about another six weeks, it sucks, I know, but once they stop hurting and the swelling goes down, you are going to look hot."

I smiled as I rested back as he changed my dressings and wrapped it back up as I buttoned up my shirt. "Good morning Gabi!" my nurse walked in as she smiled at Dr. Johnny, "Dr. Willows,"

"Johnny," he corrected, she blushed, "Oh well, Dr. Johnny, I was just getting ready to empty her JP drains," he nodded, "Very well, I will be back in a bit to look the results over but it looks like somebody is going home with them in,"

I pouted as he tapped the top of my head, "No worries though, they will be out before you know it."

"Alright, if you say so,"

"Be back in a bit,"

He walked out, "Good Morning Troy," I looked over as Troy was in a pair of jeans with a black V-neck t-shirt. Mmm, he was hot.

"Morning," Troy smiled as his eyes found mine, "How are we feeling this morning?"

"Better than yesterday," Troy grinned, "Good, that's what I love to hear." He leaned over to kiss me as I took in his clean scent and the warmth of our home. "Did the kids all get off to school okay?"

"Yup. Allison wanted to come see you again though."

"Aw, I miss my baby."

"I know you do," he brushed my hair away, "Dr. Johnny is talking about going home today." Troy smiled, "Really?" I nodded, "Yes, really, I am so fucking excited." Troy smiled as he sat down next to me. "Have you gotten up this morning?" I shook my head, "No, hey, if we go home today, will you wash my hair for me in the sink?" Troy smiled, "Do you have to ask me twice?"

"Sometimes,"

Troy smiled as he brushed my hair away from my face as it was getting disgusting, "Gabi," I turned to see Dr. Mills walk in, I felt my face drop as she was holding what looked like a big file of papers and she didn't look like she had the best of news.

"It's bad," I whispered, she pressed her lips together, "It could be worse," she said softly, she pulled a chair up as she passed a copy over towards us, "It's stage three B breast cancer," she announced, "The good news is that it hasn't spread past your lymph nodes, your lymph nodes have cancer in them and your tumor was large enough to give it that scale."

I swallowed hard as I tried to let the tears not drop, "But," she said with a small smile, "It's very beatable and we caught it before it spread to any of your organs." I sucked in a breath as I blinked back a couple of tears, Troy's hand was holding my gently as I nodded, "Good,"

"It's good news, we were hoping for only a grade two but the three is what it is. You still have such a good fight ahead of you, it will be okay!"

Taking a small breath, I nodded, "Okay,"

"Now, would you like to go home today?" I smiled and nodded, "Please, I'm ready to go home,"

"I bet you are but we are going to have plenty of rules for a couple of weeks. Lots of rest, not picking up anything basically, only really arm movement until the JP drains comes out is brushing your teeth."

"Oh goody,"

She smiled, "I know you have all of those wonderful kids who I have seen come in and out of here that will take great care of you. I suggest for your younger one, lots of movies with mom, lots of cuddle time," I smiled, "It's her favorite thing to do,"

"Then she will be one happy baby,"

"When do I get to get these stupid drains out?" I asked, "Soon. You have to produce 30ccs or less in twenty-four hours and it normally takes seven to ten days, you are on pace for that. We will probably have you come in Friday," she said with sigh as she reviewed my chart. "You will have to call a nurse here daily to report you drainage and what not, okay?" I nodded, "We will send you home with plenty of instructions and draining stuff, you'll be good."

I nodded, "Plus, I think you have an fantastic husband who is going to take great care of you."

Troy smiled as he brushed his fingers through my dirty hair, "Troy, really?" he looked at me, "What?"

"My hair is so gross." He laughed as he kissed my forehead, "I don't care," Dr. Mills smiled, "I'll work up your discharge papers,"

"Thank you!"

She nodded as she walked out, Troy smiled, "Lo will be happy to have mommy home again. She misses you." I smiled and nodded, "I miss all of the kids,"

"How are you feeling today?" Troy asked me, "I'm okay, why?"

"You look a little off."

"I just found out I have stage 3 cancer Troy,"

"But with that, it was okay, it hasn't progressed to your organs."

"Not yet,"

"Hey," Troy sat next to me, "We aren't going to talk like that, not here not ever? Okay? You are strong and we found it early enough, you know that, it's going to be okay." I turned away from him as he sat next to me, his lips pressing against the back of my neck. "Right now, I just want you to focus on gaining so much strength Gabs, chemo it's going to rock our worlds a bit,"

"I know," my voice was small as I just wanted to press my whole body into him but that would hurt. "You promise to still love me?" Troy looked at me surprised, "Brie, what kind of talk is that?"

I looked at him but Dr. Mills walked in, "Alright, let me borrow Troy for a minute and then I'll get Dr. Johnny down here to tell you all of the post op crap,"

"This conversation isn't over," he kissed my temple and he walked out with Dr. Mills. "Gabi," a nurse walked in with my clothes I came in. I smiled, "Hi,"

"I'm going to help you get dressed alright?" I nodded my head as I had walked a few laps around the hall to get moving and back and forth to the bathroom after day two-post op.

"Would you like to do it yourself or help?" I pressed my lips together, "I'll go to the bathroom really fast and change my underwear then I'll probably just have my husband help me."

"Sounds good,"

She helped me towards the bathroom as once I was in, I gently lowered my self as I kicked off my pajama bottoms I have been living in and my underwear as I switched it gently without a lot of movement. "Brie, are you alright in there?"

"Yea," I opened the door as I handed him the pants, "Switch me,"

Troy took them and handed me the shorts I wanted to wear out, I slipped them on easily and Troy then unbuttoned my shirt, "Uhm, so how are we going to be transporting you with your four extra arms?" I sustained a laugh as Dr. Johnny walked in, "With this,"

He came over as he strapped a little belt around my mid-section. "Then you just do this," he tucked each little bulb inside as I smiled, "That's almost genius."

"Well," he smiled as Troy helped me put on of his shirts on, "So you are really telling me I cant braid my hair?" I asked, "Sorry girl, nope," I sighed as I looked at the lump of a mess, "Uhm, Troy, how has your pony tail been doing?"

"Better…" he remarked, "Alli was correcting me this morning," I tried to stop the smile as it fought my lips. "That's my girl, anyways, will you please, please, pull my hair back and then give me a headband."

"Brie, it doesn't look that bad,"

"Troy, stop lying."

He went to say something else, "I wouldn't," Dr. Johnny piped, "Yea, listen to him," Troy shook his head, "Where is Emma when I need her,"

Troy smiled, "Would you like me to go get your daughter so she can do your hair?"

"Please!"

"As much as she would LOVE that, I don't think that is going to happen,"

I rolled my eyes as Troy went around and pulled my hair backwards, "I'm scared to see, I mean, I have seen Allison's ponytails,"

"I do have ahold of your beautiful hair, you might want to watch it,"

"You two are such a married couple," Dr. Johnny said laughing, "You act like high schoolers,"

"We are still at heart," I said with a smile, "Sounds like it,"

Once Troy was done, I looked in the mirror, "You didn't do half bad," Troy grinned, "Thanks,"

He rubbed my shoulders gently; Dr. Johnny and a nurse went over our care instructions. I felt like it was supposed to be the nurse doing it but Dr. Johnny was having too much fun. We laughed as he showed us how to do some stuff and then wrote us prescriptions for the pharmacy.

"Every twelve hours, we are going to have you take one now before you leave and then another at…" he glanced at the clock, "One in the morning," I cringed, "I am going to have to be woken up?"

"Yes, sorry," he cringed, "We should have done it sooner but you are going to have a couple of pills. Narcotics will be apart of this but I bet you will be off of those in a week. Where is your pain scale right now from 1-10 and don't give me any bullshit." Troy snorted as I tossed him a tired glance, "Seven," I declared, Dr. Johnny eyed me for a minute and then looked at Troy.

"Liar," Troy spat quietly, I pressed my lips in a fine line, "Fine, a eight," Dr. Johnny tried to stop a smile as he gave me a closer look, "Fine! Eight and half!"

Troy and him busted out into laughter as I shook my head, the nurse tried not to smile as I closed my eyes, "Are you two happy now?"

"Completely that you were finally honest with me, not so happy about the pain level though. Give you an extra thing of morphine before we let you go, okay?" I nodded as he patted my leg, "I'll see you on Friday okay?"

"Fine,"

He chuckled as he walked out, Troy smiled as he kissed my forehead, and "I love you,"

"Whatever,"

Troy tried not to laugh, "I really do,"

"Sure,"

Troy broke out in a huge grin, "Come on Brie, you know how much I love you."

"Do I?" Troy shook his head as he kissed my temple again, "You do,"

We went over the instructions one more time, as I was able to take showers but no baths. No moving my elbows too much, don't lift, lots of rest, check in, blah blah blah.

"Alright Gabs, we gave you your meds, you need to go fill those and then rest. Lot's of rest." I nodded as I was struggling to stay awake; I had been up for most of the morning. The meds were still making me tired and I was just ready to go home and get some sleep.

"Gabi, I'll see you Friday!" I opened my eyes and nodded as a nurse came in with a wheelchair. Troy was gathering my bags as he kissed my temple, "I'll meet you at the front with the car okay?"

"Okay,"

He disappeared as I moved from one spot to the other, my eyes taking in the area around me. Making sure I had everything I was going to need and everything that I brought. I turned the TV off and the nurse then began to wheel me out.

"Gabi! Here is a report of your pathology. Fax or send it somehow to your oncologist okay?" I nodded as we went further, "My mom just had the same exact thing and now she is getting ready for her last treatment of radiation and is basically cured."

"That's fantastic,"

We got onto the elevator, "I heard you had kids, are they young?" she asked me, I swallowed and nodded, "Yea, my oldest is sixteen my youngest is two,"

"Aw, this must be hard,"

"A little bit," I said with a sigh, "A little bit."

"Well you are one of the best patients I have ever taken care of,"

"Thanks,"

We got to the front as Troy was waiting with his Audi. I smiled, as it was small and nice. Defiantly not the family car for us any longer, which sucked because I loved it.

Troy was putting my stuff into the back and when we got up next to it. He shut the trunk and came over, "Thank you," Troy said with a smile; he opened the car door and helped me inside as he gave me a pillow. "Here," he said gently, "My mom said this would help the drive a little bit,"

He buckled it around me as I closed my eyes, "Can I go home?" He kissed my forehead, "Of course,"

He shut my door and he got into the drivers seat, "Is there anything you want right now?"

"I just want to go home."


Troy followed me up the steps as he opened the door for me and I stepped into the house. It was still clean and I didn't know how. I could only imagine what the kitchen and laundry room looked like.

"Troy?"

"Yea?"

"Daddy!" I braced myself for Lauren who wasn't expecting me. We entered the kitchen, as it was pretty clean too. Lucille was my lifesaver. "Mommy!" Lo wiggled in her high chair, as I didn't want to be up right much longer. Troy was watching me carefully as I went over to kiss the top of Lo's head, "Hi sweetie,"

"Mommy play!"

"Mommy is going to go rest for a little bit." Lauren frowned as Troy popped in, "Maybe we can watch a movie with mommy later okay?"

She nodded with a smile as Lucille gave me a big smile, "How are you feeling?"

"Like a bus hit me,"

"Better than the train where we started," I smiled and nodded, "Come on Brie,"

Troy gently picked me up as we left, "Troy," I gaped as the swift movement hurt, "I know, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he whispered, he took me up the flights of stairs as he then rested me in the bed. Tears pooled in my eyes as the pain rushed through me, "I'm sorry," he kissed my forehead and he sat down next to me. "Do you need anything? I'm gonna take Lo out and get some stuff for you."

"I just want to sleep," Troy nodded as he tucked a loose piece of hair behind my ear. "Okay, I'll try to beat the kids home, Liam has a game tonight." I nodded my head, "Okay,"

"Get some rest,"


Troy's POV

Sitting in the kitchen, I prepared stuff for dinner, as I was exhausted, the last five days have worn me down to a thread. "How is she?" my mom asked, I looked up as I nodded, "She is going to be okay,"

"I know you guys got it today,"

"Stage 3,"

"Oh Troy,"

"It hasn't gone to any of her organs yet which is good, it only has spread to her lymph nodes which isn't good but," I let my elbows rest against the counter and I pressed my palms into my eyes. "Troy, go relax, go sleep next to Gabi for a bit,"

"I can't the kids will be coming home soon and I have to keep them from going to seeing her and quiet."

"Liam and Emma are staying after school today, Liam with his basketball game and then Emma has soccer practice. Wes and Allison are easy as I can wait for you to get back up to tell them Gabi is home. Only Lo knows,"

"Lo likes to talk,"

"It will be okay Troy, I can take it for a little bit."

"You have been doing so much."

"Like the grandmother I am supposed to be. Go," I sighed, "Thank you,"

"No problem, you do know that tonight is Liam's last game before post season,"

"Yea, I guess I kind of forgot,"

"Go,"
Going up the stairs, I opened the door to see Gabi sleeping, I kicked off my shoes and crawled into the bed. She shifted and I thought about what she had said earlier. You promise to still love me.

What the hell was that supposed to mean. I closed my eyes but sleep never came, my eyes looked over Gabi's sick body, her sore, painful body.

My teeth knocked together as I let out a long breath. "Did your mother send you up here?" my eyes glanced over at Gabs, "Yea, she said I looked tired except I can't sleep,"

"I'm sorry,"

"Remember that conversation that I said wasn't over,"

"Uh huh,"

"What did you mean Brie?" I rolled over onto my stomach as I faced her. "Exactly what I said, do you promise to love me?"

"Brie, why the hell would you even ask me that?"

She closed her eyes and opened them again as I looked at her, "Everything is going to change. I'm going to be sick and you are going to have to take care of the kids more. I'm not going to be me anymore, I'm not going to be us anymore, we aren't going to be able do the things we do as much,"

"And I'm going to love you no matter what happens," I brushed her hair away from her face, "I'm always gonna love you Brie, some cancer is never going to change that, nothing is going to change that. Hell, if you cheated on me I would still love you, I may be pissed but I would still love you." A small smile worked over her lips as I kissed them softly, "Nothing is going to change that. Ever."

She blinked away tears, "I'm so emotional,"

I chuckled, "You are my emotional mess,"

"Hold me," she requested, I hesitated as she rested her head on my shoulder and her legs touched mine as I wrapped my arm around her waist and she was quickly sleeping again. My head rested against the top of hers as I fell asleep myself.


Emma's POV

"Thanks for dropping me off Aunt Taylor," she smiled, "I think I am going to come in, looks like your dad is home." I smiled as I lead her inside the house as Alexa came in behind us.

"Did you have a good day?" Taylor asked me, I nodded, "Yes! I had a really good day, I got an A on my test,"

"That's awesome!" Taylor said with a smile, Alexa rolled her eyes as we both walked up the steps and into the house. "Grandma? I'm home!" I yelled, grandma popped around the corner as she brushed her fingers to her lips.

"Shh, your dad and mom are both sleeping." Taylor laughed, "Gabi's home?" Lucille nodded, "Yes, they got home around one,"

I dropped my backpack as I went hurrying up the stairs, as I hit the third floor my dad was coming out of the room and I smacked right into his chest. I stumbled backwards and he laughed, "Em where you off too?"

"Mom is home?"

"Yea, she is sleeping though,"

"I just want to see her!"

"Em, in a bit,"

"Please!" I begged, he sighed, "Quick," I pushed open the door as she was sitting up sleeping basically, relaxed back against the pillows. I quietly entered the room as I felt Dad's stare against my back. Crawling onto the bed, my mom shifted as she opened her eyes and smiled, "Hi mommy,"

"Hi Em," I kissed her cheek and she shifted, "How are you feeling?"

"I have been better,"

"I bet," I looked over my shoulder at Dad who was impatiently looking me, "I'm gonna let you rest, I'll come see you later,"

"Good," I walked out as Taylor and my dad talked quietly for a moment and then Taylor went in as my dad followed me. He rubbed his eyes as if he had just woken up, "I'm going to Liam's game, and do you want to come?"

"Nah, I think I'll stay here. Is Alli and Lo going with you?"

"Mhm,"

"Yea, I'll stay here with mom."

"Are you sure? Your grandmother is staying."

"Dad, I have plenty of homework and I'll be fine."

"Alright but you have to let your mom rest. I think she is uncomfortable too,"

"I got it dad,"


Troy's POV

Pressing my palms into my eyes, I tried to stay awake as I waited during halftime. "Jesus, it takes me forever to find you," Chad collapsed next to me on the bleachers as I looked at him, "Hello to you too,"

"I have been looking for you the entire first half! I mean really, where did you go?"

"I sat here the entire time,"

Chad rolled his eyes, "Whatever, I had to watch Alexa with this…male." Chad scoffed as I nodded, "Dude, you look exhausted."

"I am exhausted."

"Go home, Liam will understand," my eyes glanced towards Alli and Lo who were sitting with Jenni and Sam in the bleachers behind my dad. "Yea, I know, I don't want to change his world anymore than I have to and me sitting here is what he loves the most."

"Dude, Gabi just had a major surgery, I think this one,"

"Chad, I'm going to sit here and watch my son play. There are going to be other games I am going to have to miss. Right now, if I was at home I would just be worrying about Gabi and God, I can't be doing that," my hands covered my face as I inhaled, "Dude, I think you just had a major freak out."

"Yea, a major freak out. I mean how the hell am I supposed to watch her get sick and then try to be positive." Chad was quiet as I pressed my jaw together, the boys came back onto the court as they played, the game going back and forth as I paid attention, my dad his normal high strung self on the side.

Stretching my legs out, Chad sighed, "You will do it the best out of any of us." I glanced towards him and he nodded, "If Taylor was sick I would be a mess, my kids would be a mess, it would be mad chaos." I swallowed as I looked back out at the court.

"Gabi is one hell of a women, strong as can be, perfect, beautiful, she is going to make it to the end."

"But it's that in-between part," I stressed, "That part when she loses her hair, she doesn't look like the same person, those days where she can't lift her body from her body, when she isn't feeling her best. Those days."

"And Gabi will make it through every single one of them, you will too. It might be stressful and it might be hard but you two will be fine."

"She asked me if I would still love her,"

Chad snorted, "Is she crazy?"

"A little bit but she is high stung on drugs right now."

The game ended with a final whistle, "Taylor said Gabi was doing okay,"

"That's all she tells me too,"

"Ohh,"

I shrugged as Alli and Lo came running over, "Daddy! Can we go to McDonalds?" I scrunched my eyebrows together, "When have you two every had McDonalds?" I asked, "Grandma got it for us the other day!"

Chad snorted, "We don't eat McDonalds," I told them flatly, "How about I heat up Mac and Cheese from the other night."

"Fine," Allison crossed her arms as I shook my head, "Let's go," I ushered them out as Wes caught up with us, "Dad!" I heard Liam's voice as I turned to see him, "I heard mom is home," I smiled, "Sure is,"

"Good,"

We exited as I got the kids all into the car as I drove them home, my mom was two steps ahead of me with dinner as the kids ate quickly as it was almost time for bed.

"Where is Emma?"

"Last I saw in her room," I nodded as I went upstairs; I peeked in her room, as she wasn't there. I then went into our room as she was lying next to Gabi, they were both awake as they were watching something on her laptop.

"Hi dad!"

"Hey," I shut the door, "How are you feeling?" I asked Gabi as I kissed her forehead, "Okay, you forgot to wash my hair."

"If you are up for it I'll do it before we go to bed and after we put the kids down."

"Can I shower?" she asked, I looked at her as I pressed my lips together, "Maybe,"

Emma glanced at me, "What are you two doing?" I asked peering at the laptop. "Looking at shoes for my dress," I nodded as my fingers played with Gabi's hair. "I'm gonna go do the bed time stuff, Liam will probably be up here shortly to see you."

"Okay,"

"Do you want any mac and cheese or anything? My mom heated some up from when she made her special stuff the other night."

"No thanks,"

"Brie, you haven't eaten much,"

"I'm okay," she said looking up, I closed my eyes, "Okay."

Going back downstairs, Liam was walking in as he went straight for the stairs. I shook my head, as Wes and Alli were already ready for bed. "Come on guys," I nudged them to their rooms and I grabbed Lo as she was falling asleep against me.

Lo went to the bathroom, brushed her teeth, and we changed her outfit as she climbed into her bed. I kissed her forehead, "Daddy is staying home all day tomorrow." She smiled, "Yay,"

I kissed her cheek and she settled in her bed. I turned on her night-light and exited the room as I went to check on Allison who was already in bed, "Night Alli,"

"Night daddy!" I shut the door as I then went to make sure Wes was in bed. "Go to bed," I told him, he turned and scoffed, "Okay,"

"You have to go to school in the morning, go to bed,"

"Fine," I shut his door as I flipped his light switch down, he protested as I went in search for my oldest children. Searching Liam's room and then Emma's room, I didn't see either. Going upstairs, I pushed open my door as Liam and Emma were laying on the bed talking to Gabi.

She was smiling and talking to both of them as I shook my head, "You two need to be heading to bed,"

"Dad just a while longer,"

"She will be here tomorrow and the day after that and the day after that and so on and so on," I said, they both groaned, "Fine," they said goodnight as they shuffled out of the room after about another five minutes. I crawled up next to Gabi as I pressed my nose against her neck. "Can I just wash your hair tonight and then tomorrow we can shower after all of the kids go to school?"

She sighed, "I feel so dirty,"

"I know you do, I wish I could change that but we already have to clean your stuff and get up at two to take pills and what not."

She sighed, "Fine," she said with a sigh, "Whatever." I laughed, "Brie, come on, I can't believe you are up for a shower,"

"I haven't gotten to shower in like days and I,"

"Hey, hey," I brushed my fingers over her neck, "If you want to take a shower let's go," she turned her head towards me with her eyes barely open. "I think we can wait," I smiled as I kissed her, "Then let's do these funky things and get some sleep okay?"


It took all strength not to chuck my phone across the room as the alarm blared. Picking it up, I shut off the two am alarm as I rubbed my eyes; I turned towards Gabi who didn't even stir. I got out of bed as I fumbled around for her drugs she needed to take.

I got them all out and made sure she still had water as I gently woke her up. She moved her head as I brushed her hair away from her face, "Hey, I just need you to wake up long enough to take these," she winced, as the pain was probably present. "It's okay," I coaxed, she took them all with ease and the closed her eyes again. I kissed her forehead as I put everything away only for me to set the alarm for 630 to make sure everybody goes to school.

As soon as I crawled back into bed and was half asleep, Lo started to cry. The big sobs.

Sitting up, I quickly turned off the monitor as I slipped out of bed. My eye heavy as I walked out of the room pulling my shirt over my head, walking out I went to Lo's room where I could hear her crying from my spot.

Opening her door, she was sitting up in bed as she looked at me. She scrambled out of her bed as she ran towards me, I picked her up and she cried into my shoulder. "What's wrong Lo?"

"Monster,"

I rubbed her back as I flipped on her light, "No monster, see?" she peeked out but buried her head back into my shoulder; it singled more of a nightmare than something in the room. Taking her out of the room, I went downstairs as I was trying to find my glasses, as I was blind as a bat right now.

Once my fingers gazed over them on the coffee table, I slipped them on blinking in the focus. Lauren gripped tighter to me as I went into the kitchen as I got her a thing of milk and I went to settle onto the couch with her.

"Lo, here," she peeked her head out to see the milk and she took it. "It's okay, nobody is going to hurt you,"

"Mommy has boo boo," she whimpered, I sighed as I held her closer. "Mommy will be okay."

"Mommy," she repeated, "I want mommy,"

Licking my lower lip, I rubbed her back as she rested against me. Her sobs trembled as she did this last night too. She just wanted Gabi and I didn't know what do now that she is home. She is sleeping and I know she is in pain but Lo.

"Momma,"

Rubbing my face gently, I rested against the couch as we lay with each other for a while. Once it was after three thirty, I got up to take her back to bed but as soon as I moved, she cried. Finally giving up, I shut off the lights and I went up stairs. Going into our room, Gabi was actually awake and she looked at me.

Lauren squealed with the sight of Gabi, "Is she okay?"

"Restless, she wants to see you and if I lay her down she just cries, loud cries," I said quietly, Gabi scooted over gently as I sat down on the bed. Lauren stood up and kissed her cheek. "Mommy,"

"Lo, you gotta be careful, come lay with me," I said as I settled under the blankets. She smiled at Gabi as Gabi rested her hand on her hair; she stroked it gently as I fought sleep lying with Lauren.

"Troy, get some rest, you look exhausted," Gabi said, "I'll watch her,"

"Wake me up if you want me to move her."

"Mhm,"


Gabi's POV

Troy and Lauren were snuggling when I woke a while later. Lauren was resting her head against Troy's chest and Troy had his arm around her. Both of them sleeping hard, I smiled softly as I struggled to get out of bed quietly as I needed to pee.

Walking into the bathroom, I looked out the window as the sun was peaking up. Using the restroom, I washed my hands gently and I walked back in to see Troy's phone lying on the table. Seeing his alarm on, I went in and shut it off so he could get some rest because he needed too.

Pain shot through my chest as it protested but I quietly got out of the room, Emma was already awake and Liam was close behind. My whole body felt like it was on fire but I needed to get out of the room for a little bit and Troy was sleeping, the best time to do it.

Going into the kitchen, Lucille was cooking breakfast. "Good morning Gabi! How are you feeling?"

"Like I was hit by a truck,"

"You should be resting,"

"Okay Troy," I joked gently, "It's been almost a week since my surgery. I'm just in pain, I'll be okay."

"If you sit there and do nothing, I won't report you to the police." She said with a wink, I smiled, as I knew I was tired and my body wasn't hungry. I was just in pain and tired yet I wanted to see my kids.

"I turned Troy's alarm off," I admitted, "So you don't have help this morning unless you need him,"

Lucille smiled, "No, let him sleep, I knew he got up last night with Lo and the night before. He looked like he was about to fall over." I smiled as she cooked and I heard Liam come bounding up the stairs. "Morning Grandma,"

He opened the fridge as Lucille said good morning back, "Morning Liam," he turned around on his heel and he smiled, "Morning mom, how are you feeling?"

"I'm okay, been a lot better, but okay,"

"Good, I can't believe you are awake."

"I slept a lot yesterday and I will probably go to bed after you guys go to school." He came over and sat next to me as he kissed my cheek, "Dad sleeping still?"

"Yea, I turned his alarm off because he needs to get some sleep."

Liam nodded as Lucille passed him a plate and she looked at me. "No thanks, I'm not that hungry."

"You didn't eat last night either."

"I'm not that hungry,"

"Eat just a little," she coaxed, "Or I will have to report you," I laughed quietly, "Fruit?" I asked gently, "I'm honestly, not hungry,"

"I can handle that, orange or an apple?"

"Apple please,"

She nodded as she went to the fridge, "Mom! You're up!"

"Good morning to you too Em," she smiled, "Good morning mom and Good morning grandma,"

"Morning," we both echoed, Emma sat next to me as Lucille gave her a plate and then me a plate. "I'm going to go wake Alli and Wes, I'll be back," I leaned against Liam as he ate, "Mom, you gotta eat something,"

Looking at the apple made my stomach upset.

"I will," I said with a nod, I picked one up to eat it as it was slow and my stomach churned with the food. Lucille came back as I heard the rustling upstairs, "Lo isn't in her bed," Lucille said with a concerned look, "She is cuddled with Troy," I said with a small smile, "She was restless last night."

Lucille nodded, as Wes was quick to join us as Liam and Emma both were going to leave. They each kissed my cheek as I laughed, "Have a good day at school,"

"I'm glad to have you back in the kitchen, we missed you," I couldn't stop the smile as they left. Wes gently hugged me around the waist as I kissed the top of his head, Allison cheered with excitement as I talked with them as they ate breakfast. Lucille smiled as I only ate half of my apple; I started to feel sick as I gently pushed it away.

"Come on guys, let's get your backpacks and coats on."

The kids gave me a wave goodbye as they disappeared. Spring Break was next week for them and they usually went on a trip to somewhere. Either to visit Troy or not but this year…it was nothing.

I felt disappointed as I sat there; I closed my eyes trying to get the nausea to go away. My stomach churned as I was tired and ready to go back to bed, it was hard and I didn't want to move.

Pressing my eyes together, Lucille came back in, "You can go back to bed," I pressed my palms against my eyes as I felt a tear fall from my eyes. "I'm so tired and I hurt but I can't have Troy worried and to the point of falling over asleep,"

"Hey, relax," she rubbed my shoulder gently, "You two are so dancing around each other it insane," I couldn't help but laugh, "Troy does need sleep but you do need rest,"

"I feel sick,"

"Do you need anything? How about some water?" I closed my eyes, "I just want to be better already. I don't want to do this today,"

Lucille gave me a small look and she pushed away from the counter. She disappeared for a little bit and came back with a card.

"They didn't want me to give it to you yet but I think you need to see it," she said quietly, rubbing my lower eyes, I picked up the card as I opened it.

Momma –

Everything seems so unreal right now, I can't believe that you have breast cancer but I know you can beat it. You are so strong mom and you are always there for me and the rest of us kids. Everyday you are up and cooking us breakfast, making our lunch, and being you. You never seem to be sick and when you are dad is dragging you back to bed. You are always there for me and I want you to know that I will be there for you. We love you, I love you and I couldn't ask for a better mom. You are going to kick cancers ass! …oops. Sorry, you can ignore that right? Hah, I love you mom. – Liam

Battling tears, I blinked my eyes and I moved down to the next one.

Mommy!

You are amazing. Like everything about you is amazing and even though you have this breast cancer, it will never define you. You are the strongest and most inspiring person I have ever met. You are my idol mom; I love you, forever and always. I know Dad says that to you and it's true. You are the easiest person to love. You are there for me on the bad days and on my good days too. You are the best mom in the world, we know you can beat this cancers butt and you will be our happy mom again who stands by us and is everything. You'll still be able to do it now while you are fighting and that's why we love you, because you are the strongest and most inspiring mom in the world. I love you mommy, we will all be here for you.

- Emma

Tears slipped down my cheek as I let my fingers gaze over the next little note, Wes's handwriting messy.

Mom!

Everything seems so scary right now but you are strong. Emma and Liam were telling us about how sick you are and how strong you are. I don't really understand but they are right. You are always smiling and in the kitchen, always at my games and you help me with everything. You are the best mom and you are good at everything. I love you mommy and I can't wait for you to be all better! Kisses! I love you! – Wes

I couldn't stop my emotions as I pressed my arm into my eyes as I tried to stop the tears from falling.

Mommy!

Liam is writing for me because he said I have messy handwriting (I did not! – Liam) so he was saying how pretty you are mommy! You are super pretty and I love you! Everybody says you have a big boo boo you can't see but I don't think you do. I still see you as my favorite mommy in the entire world…I wouldn't even want Aunt Taylor! You and daddy make me laugh and I love you! Be happy mommy! – Alli

My giggles mixed with my tears as Lo's was just a kissy face and an I love you. I let my fingers trace over the pink pen they used to write all of this, tears raced down my cheeks, as I loved my kids. "You are going to win this fight because of those five and your husband, that's why you are going to fight everyday through the pain and the exhaustion because those six are going to be right there the entire time."

Lucille smiled as I cried more, "I really want to hug you right now," I laughed, "Please don't, I don't think I'll live through that," she laughed, "I have to put this card back because I don't think they are quite done yet." I nodded as she took it upstairs.

My nausea had subsided some; I let out a long cry as I buried my head into my hands gently. Pain went everywhere as I heard footsteps, "Whoa, hey, what's wrong?" Troy's concerned voice filled my head as I lifted my head to see him.

The desire to hug him and just let me hold him was strong. "I just want to bury myself in your arms and it hurts," Troy's face softened as he walked towards me, scared to touch me the wrong way. "I wish I could make it better," his fingers wrapped around my hand as everything in me besides my sore breasts wanted to hug him.

"Come here," he gently took me into the living room as he sat down on the recliner as he then pulled me down into his lap gently. "Come here," he wrapped his arms around my waist. I turned my head into his neck as he kissed my temple softly, "Did you turn my alarm off?"

"Yes,"

He smiled, "You rotten woman,"

He let me rest against him as he stroked my hair gently, "Do you want to shower?"

"No, I think I will just cry."

"They hurt that bad?" I nodded my head as Troy took a deep breath, "We need to do your bulbs again."

"Fine,"

"Can I wash your hair?" He asked, I closed my eyes and nodded, "Please,"


Troy massaged my head as he rubbed the shampoo in, I leaned back towards the sink and he hummed to the song on the radio as he did so. "I think I can get use to this."

Troy glanced down as he smiled; he then took the hose on the sink drain. He washed my hair as I closed my eyes, letting him do his work, as this was the best thing ever. I could get used to this and everything Troy was doing.

"Have you eaten today?" Troy asked I looked up at him as he studied my eyes. "Brie, you need to eat,"

"I had half an apple and it took almost everything for me not to throw it back up," Troy ringed my hair gently, "I'm sorry, Brie, but you need to eat."

I closed my eyes as Troy had me sit up. He kissed my cheek, "Please, anything you want."

"Nothing. That's what I want. I really want to sleep though,"

Troy picked me up, "You can sleep and rest but once you wake up you need to eat something, anything, please," he pleaded as I rested against me, "I'm just not hungry,"

Troy sighed as he rested me in the bed, he crawled up next to me and he kissed me softly. "I know you aren't hungry but you need to eat."

I closed my eyes and turned away from him, "Hey,"

"Troy, I just want to sleep," he sighed as he got up off the bed, "I'm gonna go on a run, call me if you want something."

"I'll be fine Troy,"

He pressed his lips together and went to change.


"I'm still not under that yet?" I asked Troy, he shook his head, "Nope, sorry," he put the stuff away as I closed my eyes, I was done. It had been a week since my surgery and these stupid little tubes were still in my body.

"Maybe if you ate something it will help," Troy remarked, he was becoming inpatient with my eating. I wasn't hungry. I haven't been hungry. "Troy, would you just stop?" I asked him with a glance, "I don't have the energy or the pain tolerance for this right now."

Troy bit his lip and kept his words back, "You have eaten two things since you have left the hospital, that is not going to make you better any faster."

"But I'm not hungry and when I eat to please you, I get nausea."

"Is breast cancer going to be you pregnant all over again?" Troy asked as he grabbed the ace, "What is that supposed to mean?"

"You never ate when you were pregnant, you were moody, and tired all the damn time,"

My eyes looked over Troy, as I knew he was officially frustrated and tired. "Troy, maybe your mom should do this for now." He looked up at me, "I didn't mean it,"

I rested my hand over his, "I know you didn't mean it, I just think you need a break."

"I'll finish this and then I'll go play basketball or something," he mumbled, I nodded as he helped redo my dressings in a comfortable silence. "I love you Gabs,"

"I love you too Troy, it's just hard right now and I understand I'm not being myself." He let his eyes dig deep into mine. I took the opportunity as I pulled him closer, "Troy, maybe you and the kids should make a trip to LA, hang out and go see a Laker game. It's there spring break and I know they are disappointed they aren't going anywhere this year."

"Brie, I don't want to leave you, plus it's not a family trip unless you go,"

"I know but I'm not in any condition to travel and the kids need a break. You need a break. I'll be okay here with your mom and dad. Do it for me," Troy battled inner something as he shook his head, "We can't,"

"Troy," he stood, "I'll be back in a bit,"

Watching him leave was hard. Not being able to hug him like I want to. It was all becoming so hard.


Troy's POV

Entering the Danforth house, Chad looked at me, "Dude, what the hell is wrong with you?"

"Is Gabi okay?" Taylor's voice entered my head and I looked over at her, "She won't eat a God damn thing, she then wants us to take a vacation because she thinks we need away from all of this but she isn't up to going and,"

"Troy, hey, slow down," Chad went into the kitchen as he came back with a beer, "You need to relax,"

I took a long breath as I shoved the beer away, "She won't eat anything,"

"The more you push her to eat, the more she won't want to eat. You need to give her time Troy, she is probably in pain and when you are in pain you aren't hungry, at all, you need to take a bit of time and just thing everything over. Maybe she is right, you should go take a vacation with the kids and just relax a bit and come back ready to fight. She would tell you to do that if she wasn't sure about her choice. You guys are having such a rough patch and she knows what's going on."

Rubbing my forehead, "And if we go she magical be all better."

"Of course not but that's giving her time to rest without the kids bugging her all week, it's giving them an opportunity to have fun and not have to worry about mom a lot, it gives you some thinking space it sounds like you need, and most of all it's healthy to get out for a bit."

"I'm so frustrated with her. I just want her to eat and not be in pain,"

"Don't you think she wants the same things? Troy, she doesn't starve herself. She just isn't hungry and I found that respectable, she is probably even more frustrated with herself than you are. I know you want her to eat but offer her a smoothie or a protein drink or something that is easy to drink and get the nutrition. Hell, get her a shake. I don't care." I looked at Taylor, "Why can't I ever think of these things?"

"Because you are too close to her."

Rubbing my chin, "You think us going out of town would be good for her?"

"A little bit. She will miss you guys but it gives her time to rest. Sharpay and I will go and check on her, hang out with her daily if that makes you feel better."

"The other day, she got upset because it hurt too much to be hugged and that's all she wanted."

"She is always locked in your arms somehow and now she isn't, she is lost," Chad spoke; drinking the beer he got out. I rolled my eyes and I rolled my head backwards. "I think I need to play a little basketball, you in Chad?"

"Duh,"


Returning back to the house, it was in full swing kid mode. I passed the kids as I went straight up the stairs and towards our room.

When I opened the door, Gabi was sitting up, on her laptop with her glasses on. I wondered how it got onto her lap but I let it go. "Hi," she said looking up, "Hey, I'm really sorry about earlier."

"I knew you were. You need a break, this is stressful,"

"I know it is and I'm just scared I guess," Gabi's eyes connected with mine, "It's okay to be scared Troy, I'm scared."

Getting on the bed, I faced her as she shut her laptop and I took it off her lap. "I feel like we have had this talk before," she said quietly, her fingers playing with the strings of the blanket. "We have but I just," pressing my lips together, I fought off the inner emotions, "I need you in my life everyday and I don't know what the hell would happen if I ever lost you. When we got into that car accident fourteen years ago, I had to consider that and I shut it off. I can't do it and now with this, it's tough because I don't think I can do it. I can't be in this world without you so when you don't eat and I know that you are going to have chemo and radiation and your body is going to just shut it's self off and start over, it scares me."

"Nothing is going to happen to me."

"You can't say that for sure Gabi and I know we shouldn't talk about it until it's there but I see you now and it scares me. I love you way to much Gabi, I just want to make you fat with food so I know when you have those hard days you are going to be okay,"

She laughed, "I'm going to be okay, just because I don't want to eat right now doesn't mean I don't want to tomorrow. We have to take this one day at a time."

"I need you to make a compromise with me," I said, she considered it, "I need you to drink something with calories, a milkshake, a smoothie, a protein shake, I don't care but I need you to at least once a day and I'll be happy. You drink water like a champ and it's not actual food,"

"I can do that," she said quickly, "I can do that for you, if that will make you happy,"

"It will make me so happy,"

She smiled softly as I leaned forward to kiss her, "Are you sure you want us to go without you?"

"Why would you want to go with me? I'm a stick in the mud!" I laughed and nodded, "If that's what you please, I love you Brie, I shouldn't get so frustrated so quickly."

"It's been a really long month,"

"I can't believe it's been a month since all of this started," she went quiet and I let my thumb trace over her hand. "We will get through this together. Nobody can defeat us." She smiled as I kissed her cheek gently. "Not a single person,"


Another day in the world of the Bolton's. :) I hope you all enjoyed this chapter!

Have a great week everybody!

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