Astrid remained in a bad temper for quite a while. No matter what Hiccup did, she refused point-blank to acknowledge him or talk to him in something other than monosyllabic glowers. He cooked her breakfast in bed, dinner, ran her warm baths, picked flowers, brought her favourite pie from the bakery, made her a new axe and a new, more comfortable saddle for Stormfly with an extra detachable attachment to sit Ingrid in if need be. Everything he tried and nothing.
"I don't understand women." Hiccup complained to his father after ten days of this. He had dropped by to see his parents during his lunch break and found that he wasn't hungry. "I've said 'sorry' a million times and haven't said anything against her keeping Ingrid with her twenty-four seven."
"She'll come around." Stoick assured, carving yet again another wooden duck. He eyed the creation curiously for a minute and then continued with his work. "She's a stubborn one, that Astrid."
"I know." Hiccup grumbled.
"Sit up and eat your food." Valka told him. Hiccup had his head on the table. He looked up, resting his chin on the surface, and regarded his mother's cooking. Admittedly, it had gotten better. But meatballs were still dangerous.
"Mum, you understand women. What can I do?"
"Admit you were wrong."
"I have."
"To a good enough calibre?" Valka smiled. Hiccup frowned, confused. "One thing you should know about us women, son- we are always right." Stoick nodded in agreement. "Never pick a fight with a woman; you will never win."
"I've noticed."
"Appeal to her nature."
"Sooo, jump off Deadman's Peak?"
"Ah." Valka looked amused. "She said that then?"
"In passing." Hiccup made a face at his father, who was laughing at his misfortune.
"Women like to think they're the boss. Which they are." He added hastily at his wife's glare. "Just remind Astrid of that in some supposedly endearing Hiccup way and you should be fine." He set his duck on the table, facing his son.
"Quack." Hiccup muttered. "And what'd you mean supposedly? I'm very endearing."
"Oh yeah?" Stoick challenged, leaning his arms on the table and smirking at his son.
"Yeah."
"Go and get your wife back then."
Hiccup managed to persuade Astrid to go out for a walk with him at the two week mark. Everyone knew what had happened and found it very amusing that their chief couldn't win back his wife. Some of them were starting to feel sorry for him as time wore on, but others- like Snotlout- were bent on making snide remarks.
They were passing through the middle of the village when it happened. Hiccup had been talking aimlessly to her, jabbering in his nervousness. Astrid pretended she couldn't hear him, fussing over Ingrid until the tot fell asleep in the sling. Hiccup missed holding his daughter- two weeks, it had been. How long could Astrid's stubborn temper last?
"I can't set things right if you don't talk to me!" He blurted when she completely ignored his question on what he could do to amend the issues. For the first time in a fortnight, her eyes found his, burning with such an anger, Hiccup suddenly knew what Earl, Gabor and Arvid must have felt on that night.
"IF YOU HAD LISTENED TO ME IN THE FIRST PLACE WE WOULDN'T BE IN THIS MESS!" She thundered, storming towards him. Hiccup backed up sharply, hands up in surrender. She completely ignored this. "You're such an idiot, Hiccup, you see the good in every- what are you doing?" She finished her sentence in complete confusion. Her stupid husband had dropped to the ground at her feet, hands over his head and his forehead to the dirt. Some of the men started to laugh- these were the ones who still teased Hiccup sometimes for not being 'Viking-like'. Snotlout was amongst them. Some of the women cooed and smiled approvingly. Two weeks wasn't so bad- most men never figured out what to do when their wife was mad at them.
"I'm sorry, I was wrong, you were right, you're always right." Hiccup said into the dirt. Astrid was absolutely baffled and the only way she could think of to react was to…
Laugh.
And then she couldn't stop laughing. All her anger seemed to melt away as tears streamed down her cheeks and she laughed. Hiccup looked more mystified than anyone there, debating silently if his wife had succumbed to insanity. He wasn't going to have to ship her away when she had finally stopped being angry at him, was he?
"Ooooh, my side." She put a hand on her stitch and, still giggling, knelt to be eye-to-eye with Hiccup. "You really are an idiot."
"Uuhhh…" What was going on? What in Thor's name was going on?
She kissed him lightly and pulled him to his feet, smirking at his puzzled expression. Hiccup caught sight of his father past her shoulder. Stoick grinned and gave him a double-thumbs up.
Women like to think they're the boss. Which they are.
Now it all made sense.
One thing you should know about us women, son- we are always right
Astrid smiled at him, taking his hand and lacing their fingers together. She wiped at her eyes with her other hand, giggling feebly. "That's made my day." She beamed at him. "Idiot." Relief washed over Hiccup, banishing the confusion. He grinned back. He wasn't sure what to say- speechless- but he had his wife and daughter back. Today was a good day.
He had work to do the following day. Astrid saw him about the village as she run a few errands and he kept grinning when he saw her, like someone had offered him the world. She couldn't help but grin back. Yes, she was still angry at him, but she was always angry at him. And she had missed him. He had been so sweet to her with the meals and the baths and the flowers and the new axe and she had put him under the heaviest bout of silent treatment known to man.
All around the village, though, she heard constant whispering. The women were in awe and very impressed with Hiccup's behaviour yesterday, but the men were not so amazed. A couple found it funny and were glad their chief and his wife were back on speaking terms, but the majority of them thought Hiccup's little act made for a poor chief. Some of them even let Hiccup know what was on their minds- "We understand you were trying to sort things with your wife, chief, but there are other ways to go about doing it. You shouldn't have grovelled at her feet like that."
"OK." Hiccup said, clearly not having heard a word of what was said to him. Astrid's annoyance at him weakened a fraction- this would not be dropped so easily and he knew that. If the cost of having her back was the fierce disapproval and constant picking of the villagers, then so be it.
Stoick and Valka were ecstatic to have her back round for lunch and to see their granddaughter again. Hildegard was among the women who loved Hiccup's apology. Astrid's father, Fenrir, was in two minds about it. He liked Hiccup and trusted him with his daughter. He wasn't sure about his way of apologizing though.
But Astrid was far happier now than she had been in two weeks. "That's good 'nough for me." Fenrir told his son-in-law. "Just listen to 'er next time; understand?"
"Yes sir." Fenrir gave a content nod and left. Hiccup sighed in relief and then sharp pain flared in his shoulder. He turned and saw Astrid smirking at him. "What? Are you going to call me an idiot again?"
"I was." She admitted. "But I think you've got enough ridicule at the minute."
"Really? I thought you'd like to top it all off with a well-placed insult that will slowly eat away at my confidence and eventually my mental state, leaving you free to take control of everything and discreetly bury me alive under the patio."
"I'm going to have to kill you now, you know too much."
"Dammit." She smacked him in the arm and laughed. "I missed you."
"And I had a lovely two weeks being waited on hand-and-foot." He gaped at her.
"You… you did that on purpose."
"I was still mad at you anyway, but I suppose it was an added benefit." She smiled mischievously and flounced off.
What had he gotten himself in to?
