Shocked, I backed away from him, sitting on my knees. Kazuto sat up, trying to turn his wrist so I wouldn't look at the damage he had done, but I refused to let him hide it.
"Sugu... I'm... I'm sorry." he looked away in apparent shame.
"Why..." the only syllable I could muster as I cradled his palm with both hands, and holding his whole arm to my face protectively, accidentally poking my bruised eye but ignoring it.
"Because..." he started, seeming at a loss for a viable reason, or at least the words for one. "Because it won't stop... I can't take it anymore. I did so many bad things and I ended up being so alone..." he stopped and looked at my eyes, realizing what he had said. "Sugu I don't mean..."
It was too late at this point, the words were already out. I know he doesn't mean it... but still. It hurts.
I drooped my head down as I let go of his scarred hand, peeking over to see the other one in a similar state of rawness. "I see..."
"I didn't mean it like that!" He started to get frantic, not yelling at me, but his words becoming almost painful.
"I know you didn't..." I stated. He knows I'm here for him. He knows I am... Slowly. I took my arms and wrapped them around his neck and buried my face into it. "I'm not leaving you Onii-chan. I'll always be here." I could feel the heat from his body as it pressed against mine which had yet to cease its stimulation. A lone tear found its way down my cheek before connecting between our flesh and holding there. Slowly, I pushed him backwards and we laid there for a while. I can't leave him... I have to be there for him... Who knows how much more his fragile soul can withstand before it shatters...
"Onii-...chan?" I asked tentatively, scared of what may happen next. He didn't answer but I continued anyway. "Have you tried to...?" I lost my words, my hot breath reflecting off his body and tickling my lips.
"Almost," he answered, seeming to comprehend my unasked question. I cringed at this, clutching his neck tighter and bringing one leg up to fold around him, not letting him leave me. Never... I can't ever let him leave me...
"Sugu?" he queried. I simply hummed into his neck my sign of listening. "Can I ... Um..." He seemed a bit awkward at this. "Should I put my clothes back on?"
I sighed deeply, taking in his familiar but long absent scent. The heat from his skin radiated and felt nice, as if we were closer than we had been all the nights before. I like it this way... I feel... connected to him "If you like..." I allowed, not wishing to push him, loosening my arms slightly.
He made no effort to move, then deciding, pulled the blanket from under my butt and over on top of us. "Never mind." he finished, a slight tone of relaxation and contentedness in his voice... Something I had not heard in years.
Pulling him into almost a chokehold, I pulled myself up and lay cheek to cheek with him. He, on the other hand, allowed his arms to encircle me, one hand going up the back of my shirt and stroking my spine ever so softly.
"Heyyyy..." I started, almost warningly knowing his one hand was in my clothes and the other rested close to my rear.
"I'm not I'm not. I just... your skin is..." he stammered, for once worried about something simple, something not PTSD or death related.
"Hehe" I giggled lightly. "Okay. But remember. Onii-chan no ecchi." I kissed the side of his lip teasingly and I could feel it tug into a smile against my face.
Clutching him close to me and not letting go, this was the first night that there were no in-sleep sweating, violent dreams, or painful thrashing about. I wouldn't let him.
How's that for an ending?
Just kidding. Not done
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