A/N: Hello, my dearies, did you like the last chapter?

Here's a treat for you, it's not smut, just sort of ish, but hey, at least the 2 idiots get together again, even for a bit. Bear with me, I SWEAR this poorly written story will go down the drain if I rush things between them and that all the waiting WILL be rewarded in a very emotionally and intellectually satisfying way in the end.

As always, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my crappy fic. Don't forget to yell if you want to ask anything, comment, complain or whatever, my inbox is like a good mother's heart, there's always room for everyone in it.

And now, for something completely the same (don't forget, Sasuke went to sleep last chapter, this is what happened in his dream):


Sasuke opened his eyes, disturbed from his slumber by the bright moonlight coming through the window, and saw Naruto's face next to him.

The usuratonkachi bumped his arm against him, and opened a bleary eye.

"Sasuke? Is this a dream?" he asked in a tired whisper.

Sasuke turned to lie on his back, and stretched.

"Is this a mattress?" he asked, and looked sideways at Naruto, who nodded.

"Definitely a dream, then" the Uchiha said, stretching his limbs with a satisfied grunt.

"Hey, watch it, teme, you're pushing me off the bed!" Naruto complained as he flayed his arms to maintain his precarious balance, having retreated to the edge of the bed as Sasuke proceeded to hog the narrow mattress for himself.

Sasuke turned his head to the usuratonkachi, feeling the warmth coming from the blonde, and suddenly pulled the young man's wrist, effectively toppling Naruto over his body and quickly slipping his arm around his friend's waist to firmly hold him there before wriggling into a more comfortable position and closing his eyes with a satisfied sigh.

"What the – holy shit you're naked, lemme GO!" Naruto yelped.

"Usuratonkachi" Sasuke began to say, in a calm, reasonable, yet tired, voice, "I am going to wake up in a drafty mountain hut with a leaking roof, in the middle of the damn winter, on the thinnest sleeping mat I have ever slept on, over a hard, uneven dirt floor, wearing one of the two damn rough homespun outfits I own, freezing my ass to death, after spending an entire day out in the icy rain trying to reason with a prankster water god. Please forgive me if I take advantage of this wonderfully soft mattress and your delightful body heat without giving a shit to dress and moral codes, just shut your fucking yapper and let me have this, will you?"

"Holy shit, this IS a dream, I never seen you so attached to physical comfort in my life" Naruto said, and snickered as he relaxed and laid his head on Sasuke's shoulder.

Sasuke huffed. "Try spending over a year training under both a crazy monk and a homicidal miko even the gods won't cross on a cholera-ridden island in the middle of nowhere first before demanding stoicism from me" he said, and opened one eye. "What did you do to your hair?"

"Huh? Oh, I thought I'd go for a more grown-up, er, more respectable look. I'm an adult, better start looking like it, right?" Naruto said, and raised his head to better look at Sasuke's face, noticing the longer hair. "What about you, forgot your way to the barbershop?"

Sasuke snorted. "Usuratonkachi, I've been so damn cold and wet all the time, if it were even possible I'd have gotten as furry as a snow monkey by now. No fucking way am I going to waste money or cut my own hair when I don't even own an umbrella" he said, and smirked at the look on Naruto's face. "Now lie back down, dream or not your hair smells good."

They stayed quiet for a while, enjoying each other's presence.

"So", Naruto said, "which one are you training to be, monk or miko?"

Sasuke lazily poked the usuratonkachi's forehead. "What do you think? Monk, duh. Shugenja, in fact. The miko training me is just because my energy is yin-based and she can't just mind her own business" he mumbled, and then cringed, automatically regretting what he had just said.

Naruto apparently didn't notice what Sasuke's answer implied, though. "Oh. Hey, that's actually damn cool, I went to this monk temple once, met a guy that had some of Kurama's chakra in there, his name was Sora, we became good friends back then. Wonder what happened to him after all these years."

Sasuke huffed and absent-mindedly played with Naruto's cropped blonde locks. "You become friends with everyone, idiot. I wouldn't be surprised if you make friends with the entire island when you come for me", he said, giving another satisfied sigh. Dream!bed sure made his battered spine a happy camper.

Naruto snuggled into Sasuke's chest and put his arm around it, quietly enjoying his scent. "Why do you smell like moss?" he asked.

"No money to buy or stuff to make soap. Taro-sama taught me to use moss to scrub when bathing. It's not perfect, but it helps washing away the stink, especially after farm work."

Naruto chuckled at the image of his arrogant friend doing farm chores. "Been knee-deep in dung a lot then?" he teased, and Sasuke pulled on one of his locks.

"Hey, it's hard living there, we take all the jobs we can get. Not everyone can live in luxury like some usuratonkachi I know, it's not like I won't get my head cut off if I as much as sneeze towards the mainland" Sasuke complained.

Naruto felt tears come up to his eyes, and he blinked them away. "Tell me more, teme"

"What do you want to know?" Sasuke asked, going back to stroking the usuratonkachi's hair.

"Everything" Naruto answered earnestly. No other word could explain better how much he missed Sasuke, how badly he wanted to know what the man was doing with his life, what he thought, felt, if he missed him back, and dream!Sasuke or not, he needed to drink his words like a dying plant needs to be watered.

Sasuke whistled softly. He wondered if this dream was part of what Taro had labeled his "emotional healing process". Well, if you're in hell already, why not dance with the devil?

"Everything? Hn, ok, then. After we released the Tsukuyomi I ran off. Didn't really care which way I was going, to be honest, I just wanted to get away from everyone and everything – and yes, that includes you, I mean, when you gave me that friend line again I knew you'd never accept my confession to you, and considering I couldn't kill you to save my life – stop snickering, you goit, I swear if I weren't so damn comfortable I would wake myself now, don't give me even more reasons or I will do it" he half-heartedly threatened, and grunted when Naruto halted his giggling and hugged him harder, "and I had not only turned my back on everyone else already, and by the way can you believe Suigetsu kept turning his body into water every time we ever went to the onsen and I never realized how completely GROSS that was until yesterday?"

Naruto started laughing, then suddenly stopped and raised his head, giving Sasuke a serious look. "I am going to evaporate that son of a bitch if that's true, you know" he said in a murderous tone.

"Please add pepper extract to the boil if you do it, and tell him I specifically instructed you to" Sasuke said, and shivered in disgust, as Naruto laid back down and grunted his assent.

"So, as I was saying, besides all that I knew no matter what you said against it somebody would eventually try to hunt me down, so all I could do was run away, and I did. But I was so"

"Scared" Naruto interrupted, and Sasuke knocked on his head.

"Distraught", Sasuke continued, "I didn't stop to eat or drink or anything, and eventually I just dropped out from exhaustion. Rather splendidly may I add, Taro-sama said it was the first lost soul the Buddha ever sent him straight out of the sky" he chuckled darkly. "He rehydrated me with a coconut IV, then"

"Wait, a what IV?" Naruto asked.

"A coconut IV. Go ask Sakura if you don't believe me" Sasuke answered.

"Oh, oh, by the way, Sakura is with Kakashi now" Naruto said. "She said if she ever sees you again she'll thank you for being mean to her and forcing her out of her puppy love for you, because Kakashi would have never stood up for her if you didn't do it and then they would have never been together. They're really happy, ya know, and Kakashi is Hokage now, he's actually doing a good job, despite all the damn spies he's got watching me all the time, and"

Sasuke pulled his face up and kissed him on the lips. "Holy shit I've dreamt of this for so long" Naruto breathed when they parted.

"I figured that'd shut you up, but here you go being the number one unpredictable usuratonkachi again" Sasuke chuckled, blushing under the moonlight, and put his hand on Naruto's lips when the blonde slid up for another kiss. Naruto whined pitifully.

"Look, I had my first erection last morning and it freaked the hell out of me, don't scare me into waking up, will you?" Sasuke mumbled, and blushed darker when Naruto gave him a disbelieving look.

"You're kidding me" Naruto said, and his eyes went round when Sasuke shook his head.

"I'm not. I woke up and there was this hard thing between my legs, I jumped so hard I stuck my back to the ceiling" Sasuke said, and Naruto laughed out loud.

"Hn, funny story, that was Taro-sama's reaction too", Sasuke chuckled, "and then, when he asked me if I had never seen that happen to any of my male friends in the morning or at the onsen, I remembered about Suigetsu's nasty little habit", he continued, "and to make a long story short he said I was finally truly recovering from all the emotional trauma I've been in all my life, and made me deal with Mizu no Kamisama all day. I actually got something done too, but the kami is an asshole and gave me a freezing bath in the end. I'm lucky I didn't get a cold"

Naruto gasped. "Bastard did you just call a GOD an asshole?" he asked fearfully, and looked around as if afraid of being hit by lightning.

"Pffft Mitiro-sama – that's the nosy homicidal miko I told you about – does way worse, and to Amaterasu, no less" he waved his hand dismissedly at the usuratonkachi's stunned look, "monks and miko are really intimate with the kami, you have no idea. Especially Mitiro-sama, she even got Amaterasu to let her get married."

"Wait, I know I'm not very learned about religion but aren't miko supposed to remain maidens or something?" Naruto asked, looking up at him.

"Yup, but apparently there's a loop in the rules that allows for miko to marry other women", Sasuke answered.

Naruto's eyes went as big and round as dinner plates, and his heart started beating so fast he could feel it at the back of his throat.

"Wait, are you telling me people of the same sex can get married where you're living now?", he asked in a semi-desperate tone, "and nobody cares?"

The Uchiha nodded, and Naruto moved up to look straight into his eyes with a hopeful look. "Not only women but men too?" he asked again.

"Um, yes, after Mitiro-sama got married to Haruka-san and neither of them were burned to cinders by the Sun goddess and Amaterasu kept on blessing them as if nothing had happened, people decided if the gods don't care they shouldn't either. I helped Taro-sama officiate the wedding of two guys at our village like, last month, it's a rare occurrence because most people fall in love with people of the other sex but that's all there is to it there", Sasuke said, and frowned, "why are you so stunned by that? It's not as if we're really having this conversation, usuratonkachi."

Naruto was giving him the exact same intense look he had on his face when Sasuke had saved him from Haku's attack at Wave.

"Promise me one thing. Just one thing, Sasuke" the blonde said.

Sasuke nodded with a questioning look in his face, and Naruto put his right hand over the shugenja apprentice's lips to stop him from talking, the crescent moon marks on the back of his hand shining under the moonlight.

"Promise me you'll wait for me. I've got something I absolutely must tell ya… wait for me.*" Naruto said, and caught his open mouth in a searing kiss.

Sasuke hadn't been kidding when he had told Naruto not to scare him into waking up. The feeling of Naruto's tongue sliding into his mouth sent an electric shock through his whole body, and the man woke up with a silent scream in an orgasm-induced full-body Chidori.

The last Uchiha grimaced at the smoke coming from his damp, soiled clothing, and snorted.

"Stupid Naruto, like I had anywhere else to go to anyway" he grunted, before getting up for yet another day.


A/N:

*see what I did there? If you look closely there are a lot more easter eggs for you to find, go ahead, I'll wait for you to find them and call out to me about the ones you do.