AHHHH! Im so sorry for the long break! It's so hard balancing life and obsessions at the same time... I finally bought a computer so I'll hopefully be updating a bit more!


survivors are part turtle/ we are part potato bug/ we know enough to go fetal/ 'til it's still up above/ and you gotta crawl through the desert/ between when you hear it / and when you can play it with your hands/ just to rendezvous with whoever you are / when you finally understand/ -Ani DiFranco "Lag Time"


Olivia winced as a deliveryman bumped her while she was leaving the elevator. She felt a soft touch on her wrist and she turned to see Elliot reaching for her. She pursed her lips and breathed deeply. Two weeks had passed since the accident. Her bruises were a sick yellow colour and her cuts were healing nicely. Her stomach had also grown more and she could feel the baby move around inside her. In order to hide the small bulge she wore a slimming black sweater with loose jeans. Olivia turned her gaze to their Captain's door and her face emptied of colour.

"You two look like ghost-twins." Elliot and Olivia turned to see Fin standing at the entrance of their office. Olivia looked over to Elliot and smiled when she saw that he was wearing a black button-up and jeans.

"Ghost twins?" Munch asked as he came up behind Fin.

"Look how white they are. They look like they died or something." Fin teased. Elliot frowned and nodded towards Cragen's office.

"Cragen in yet?" he asked.

Munch nodded, "Yeah. He said to send Olivia in, as soon as she got here."

"It's good to see you girl. You feeling better?" Fin hugged Olivia lightly, attempting to spare her from any un-necessary pain.

Olivia attempted a smile and nodded. She was afraid to open her mouth, worried that her nerves would cause her to throw up if she didn't keep her mouth shut.

Munch gave her shoulder a gentle rub, "We missed you around here."

"Thanks John." Olivia whispered. She then motioned towards the bear's den, "I better get this over with."

"I'll go with you." Elliot placed a hand on the small of her back and led her into Cragen's office.

The room was dark and musty. It was too late in the morning for lamps to be on but to early for a good amount of natural light to spill in from the hallways and squad room. Cragen looked up from his paperwork and smiled at his golden-child. Olivia still looked like hell, but she had improved to the third circle, instead of the seventh.

"Olivia. Good to see you."

"Thanks Captain. It's good to be back."

"You sure you're feeling up to returning?"

"I think so. I... I just have to clear something up with you first. Before I can responsibly return to work." Olivia's voice wavered slightly.

Cragen frowned but nodded, "Alright. Does Elliot need to be in here for this?" He nooded toward the stone-faced detective standing at the door of the office. Olivia bit her lip and nodded.

"Don..." Cragen raised his eyebrow to his first name being used by one of his detectives but he let it slide, "We have to tell you something... But we want you to know that... that everything we did, keeping it all a secret, not telling you, it was all to protect us. To keep us healthy. We didn't want any repercussions for you either..."

Cragen shook his head, "I think I see where this is going and if I'm right, I don't want to know. I haven't noticed anything to warrant concern and if you bring what you're hinting about to my attention then I will have to do something about it... I can't give you a free pass if I know about it."

Olivia smiled bitterly, "We'd love to keep it to ourselves Captain... but... extenuating circumstances have led us to the point where we have to tell you..."

Cragens frown deepened, "You didn't do something illegal, did you?"

Both Olivia and Elliot shook their heads, "No." Olivia whispered. She had reached a point where she was unable to speak. She felt like a teenage girl, telling her father that her boyfriend had knocked her up. She was ashamed and scared. But even though it felt like Cragen would not forgive her or Elliot, she knew that he had a soft spot in his heart for his lead detectives. Still, words would not come and Olivia turned to Elliot, begging him with her eyes, to take over.

Elliot stepped forward and placed his hand on Olivia's back. "Captain, Olivia is pregnant."

The silence that filled the room was deafening. Cragen stared at his desk, seemingly stunned into submission. The hustle and bustle of the squadroom flooded the small office when the door opened.

"Guys, Ryan Turner escaped from the hospital. He was spotted on 8th and 9th, between 91st." Munch notified the silent trio. He then realized he had walked in on something and back pedaled, "Fin and I are on the way out. Catch up when you can." He then shut the door, leaving Cragen to address the couple standing before him. The intensity that he held in his eyes caused Olivia to shrink back. She was suddenly very afraid of her boss and she regretted every word that had come from her mouth.

"You two will keep this quiet until I make my decision on how to handle this situation. Elliot, join Munch and Fin out in the field. Olivia, you stay here."

Olivia immediately felt the desire to argue but stopped herself and nodded. Cragen stood and left his office without another word, leaving Elliot and Olivia to stand in silent fear of what was to come.


Olivia stared at the glowing computer screen sitting on her desk. She had been alone for five hours. Cragen had left and not returned, Elliot, Munch and Fin were still in the field. She hated the unsettling silence that at filled the squadroom. The other employees of the department knew something was wrong, otherwise, Olivia would be in the field with her partner.

Then, as quiet as the room had been, it became equally as loud. Elliot and Fin were dragging in the very loud, angry, struggling body of Ryan Turner. The shouting filled the room, causing Olivia to jump from her desk and follow the boys into the interrogation room. Elliot slammed Turner down into the chair and Fin quickly handcuffed him to the legs.

"Hey! Hey! You asshole pigs! You can't handcuff me!"

The officers took a step away and each one crossed their arms over their chests. They created a sneering, glaring square of authority figures. Turner continued to struggle until his eyes landed on Olivia.

"Hey- hey, you're that bitch who threw me into that car. Broke my nose!"

Elliot smoothly smacked Turner in the back of the head, "You don't talk to her."

Turner ginned, "You still got some bruises. You took the impact of that car... banged you up pretty nasty, hey?"

This time Fin took a swing with the palm of his hand and hit Turner squarely in the back of his head, "Scum like you don't get to address the lady."

Turner grinned again and Olivia glared. She knew that it was her choice to chase Turner that day, and that's what led to the accident, but her hatred for the danger he put her child in did not cease.

"Seems like your guard dogs think you're too good for me. But I'm sure you and I could find something to... do..." The sickening tone in Turners voice led Munch to join in the questionable abuse game and he smacked Turner, just as his partner had.

"Shut up." Turner didn't re-set his eyes on Olivia, instead he turned to Munch.

"Fine."

"Now, are you done being an asshole? Can we uncuff you?" Fin asked.

Turner glared. "I'll sit nice. Promise."

Fin unlocked the silver restraints around Turner's wrists. Turner rubbed his red skin while Fin and Munch left the room. Elliot walked around the table and stood, intimidatingly over top of the criminal before him.

"Now, you care to explain what happened? Why you killed the women in your movies?" Elliot quickly realized that Turner was staring at Olivia again and sneering.

"You're their little moppet, aren't you?" Turner nodded his head towards Elliot, "You say "jump" they say "how hi?" Am I right?"

Olivia grinned menacingly, "They're my equals."

"Sure they are. But really, you're the superior one. You may be younger, lower in rank, a woman," Olivia glared at the sexist comment, "But you hold all the power. Because they'd do anything for you... Anything to keep you safe..." The tone in Turner's voice suddenly made Elliot very nervous. He landed his eyes on Olivia.

"Detective, can you go get the file?"

Olivia grinned, "No. That's just what he wants... He's intimidated by me... He's afraid of confident women."

Turner laughed. "You believe I think you're confident? I can see right through you Detective. You're terrified. It's why you're partner here is itching to push you out of the room. You're all so afraid of me that your co-workers don't even want their little Isabella Goodwin in the same room as me."

Olivia let out a disbelieving laugh, "We're not afraid of you. We've got bigger fish to fry." She then leaned in, almost nose to nose with the murderer, "You're small potatoes." She whispered.

Turner's smug grin turned into a nasty sneer. The movement was faster than lightning. Turner had flipped Olivia around and he was suddenly standing with a knife to her neck and an arm around her stomach.

The door to the interrogation room burst open. Munch and Fin came rushing in, guns drawn and pointing at Turner and Olivia.

"Go ahead! Shoot me. I'll take you're little bebe with me."

Elliot held his hand out to Munch and Fin, signaling to lower their guns slightly.

"What do you want?" He whispered. His eyes could not break from the silver glint that pressed against Olivia's throat. The fear in her eyes was so plain and open. She was terrified. Turner's hand spread across her stomach and he grasped at the flesh that guarded the partner's secret.

"Out. I leave alive, she stays alive."

"Fine. You can leave- Detectives, back away from the door. Let Mr. Turner through." Ryan held Olivia close as he dragged her across the interrogation room, towards the door. He dragged her through the shocked staff in the squadroom, towards the door that led to the stairs. He opened the door, threw Olivia at Elliot and bolted, as fast as a flash, out of sight.

Elliot held Olivia at arms length as Fin and Munch chased after Turner.

"You ok?"

Olivia held her hand to her neck and a small amount of blood rubbed off onto her fingers. She nodded her head in response. "I'm ok. Just a flesh wound. I'll get it fixed." She already knew that Elliot was going after Turner. He was just waiting for permission. "Go get him."

Elliot squeezed her shoulders before running down the stairwell after the man who had threatened the life of his partner and child, twice. Olivia secretly hoped that Elliot would catch Turner before Fin and Munch did, just so a few cheap shots would be laid in before they dragged the scumbag back upstairs.

The sudden overwhelming feeling of panic raised in Olivia's throat when she realized what had almost happened. Again. She could feel the crowd coming around her, people staring down the stairwell, others watching the elevator, others on their cell phones- calling officers downstairs to aid the detectives in their pursuit.

But Olivia was unable to focus on them. Her mind had gone fuzzy and her body felt hot. She was swaying slightly before suddenly hitting the ground and her mind went black.


AN: There's this pesky thing that keeps catching my eye at the bottom of the screen. i tried to rub it off but it just wouldn't leave so I clicked on it and it lead to this handy dandy page where you can review stories! It was fun! And useful! And encouraging!