It's Not 100%

Post-Episode 53

By Jinxie

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters; I just made up the stories. The beginning and ends of episodes are quoted from the actual TV series.

Content Warning: This is a series that takes place between episodes. The stories build upon the TV series and it is advised that you watch the episodes then read the post-episode (this story) in between. Many references by the characters are very specific to the episodes, so you may not get everything unless you watch at the same time or have the episodes memorized. The series does lead to a romantic relationship between two women, so if you don't like it don't read it.

Goal: To fill in the rest of the story of Xena and Gabrielle that I felt the series left out. This is more how I would have wished the show to go. I strive to make it a realistic love story of how the two get together and share their lives together. Please feel free to email me with constructive feedback Jinxie2013

End of Episode 53 (S3,E7):

"You were right. I didn't have to resolve this with murder. I finally understood Lao Ma's message. And I made him small again." Xena said to Gabrielle with conviction.

Gabrielle puts her hand on Xena's hand. "Xena, you're not killing him made you what Lao Ma wanted you to be." They begin walking out of the ruins of Ming T'ien's castle.

Xena pulls the Lao Ma's book from under her arm. "A memento of Lao Ma."

Gabrielle puts a hand on Xena's back and on the book. "We'll take good care of this." She nods her head to reassure. Xena is still looking at the book. Gabrielle puts her hand on Xena's hair and says, "I love you Xena."

Xena's face expresses a mix of emotions. "I love you too Gabrielle." As they walk out of the rubble, Xena's face turns dour with disgust and self hatred.

An hour later, Xena nearly collapses. "Xena!" Gabrielle grabs her arm and holds her up. "That's it, we have to stop. You cannot keep going like this." Gabrielle pulls Xena over to a tree and leans her up against it. "I think I see a small town up ahead. Lets rest for a minute, then we need to find a place to stop for the night, ok?" Xena nods. She hasn't spoken since they left. She is weak and not thinking very clearly. After a few minutes of rest, and getting Xena to drink some water, they proceed on their journey.

They arrive in the town a short while later. Gabrielle doesn't speak the language but manages to find an inn for them to rent a room. "Well, it's not the greatest place we've ever stayed, but it least it has a bed and a bath. I'll go get some hot water for us, ok?" She strokes Xena's cheek, getting very little response.

Awhile later Gabrielle has the tub filled with hot water. She helps Xena get in. Xena's body is battered and bruised. Xena sinks into the tub and lets out a sigh. "That's nice." Gabrielle smiles, happy that Xena finally said something. "Are you getting in with me?"

"I uh.. sure. I didn't know if you wanted me in there." Gabrielle said sadly, looking down at her feet.

"Well, you need a bath too." Xena said matter of factly.

Not exactly where I was going with that, but ok. Gabrielle took off her robe and undergarments. She gingerly stepped into the small tub and squeezed in behind Xena. She grabbed soap and a piece of linen and began to scrub Xena clean. Uhg what is this grease on her? It does not come off easily. She was practically digging a hole in her skin.

"Easy, Gabrielle." Xena said, while stilling the bard's hand.

"Sorry, this stuff won't come off very well."

"Yeah, it will probably take a few washings before it comes all the way off my skin." Xena's voice is tired and sad.

Gabrielle moves her scrubbing efforts away from that spot and cleans a more wide spread area. "Here, turn around. I want to clean your face." Xena does as she is asked. Gabrielle cleans it softly, while trying to look into Xena's eyes; but Xena's eyes avert hers. "Xena, I'm so sorry for everything." She begins to cry, feeling the distance between them.

Xena pulls Gabrielle into a friendly embrace. "Shh, it's ok." They break apart and Xena gently kisses the bard's on the top of the head. "We'll get through all this, I promise."

"Together, right?"

"Right."

Xena is lying in bed that night, turned away from Gabrielle, who is sitting up in bed writing in her scroll. Xena's eyes are not closed, they are staring into nothingness. I'm a murderer again. First Callisto, now Ming T'ien. Worse part is, I lied to Gabrielle about both of them. I can't tell her I killed him. She was so proud thinking that I beat my dark side. She would leave me if I told her the truth. I can't live without her, she is my life. But I don't think things will ever be the same. I'm not sure

Gabrielle puts down her scroll and quill. She blows out the candle and snuggles up behind Xena. Xena tenses up as Gabrielle lays her face against hers, "Xena, I want things to go back to normal."

Xena turns over just enough to see Gabrielle's face. "I know." Gabrielle strokes her face. Xena grabs Gabrielle's hand and kisses it. "Let's go to sleep ok?" Xena pulls herself away from Gabrielle towards the edge of the bed.

Taking the hint, Gabrielle rolls back over to her side to give Xena space.

Gabrielle tosses and turns all night. She cannot sleep. She keeps envisioning her betrayal of Xena. Why did it seem so right at the time? Now I've divided us further. First she betrayed me with Caesar, then I lie to her about Hope. Now the cycle is beginning again. I betray her…has she lied to me about something major? I can't believe she was willing to throw her last few years of fighting for good away for a past promise to an ex-lover... That really hurt when she so easily said she would throw it all away, even our relationship just to satisfy an old promise. It felt like she was stabbing me in the back…no…the heart. Lao Ma must have been very special to her…more special than me. Gabrielle begins to cry at that thought. She doesn't really love me anymore. Maybe that was the big lie…when we were leaving the rubble behind, she said the words but maybe she didn't mean them. Is this what our lives have been reduced to? A cycle of hate and betrayal, rather than love? This is so far from where I envisioned us being at this point in our relationship.

Xena wakes to Gabrielle's whimpers and sniffling. She doesn't know what to do. Comfort her or not? Everything in my body screams at me to hold her and love her. My mind doesn't see it that way; all it can see is her turning me over to execution. Dammit, I do love her. I want to erase everything that's happened. Xena rolls over and puts her arm around Gabrielle. "Hey, shh…Come here." Xena gathers the bard into her arms, and pulls her head against her chest. She begins to gently rock Gabrielle.

"Xena, is our relationship over? I need to know."

"I don't know." Xena is void of emotion.

"I don't want it to be. But I'm still very hurt by so many things." Gabrielle let out a quiet sob.

"I think we are both hurting right now. Maybe we should just…see how things go." Xena gets a tear in her eye. "I do love you Gabrielle, I want you to know that. I always will."

Gabrielle looked up at Xena and both of them had tears in their eyes. "Ok. We'll see how things go. I think we could use some repair." She lets out a nervous chuckle, trying to lighten the mood. Then she gets serious again, "I love you too Xena. More than you may realize."

Xena guides Gabrielle into a laying position and they fall asleep in each other's arms.

The journey home by sea and then land took 1 ½ months.

A week after their return…

Beginning of Episode 54:

"Last chance." Xena says to a guy she is taking to prison. "Where is Melcroy headed?"

"Well, you'll just have to figure that out." He responds. She grabs him by the back of the neck and pushes him into the prison. On her way out, she finds Joxer.