Me: *Dark and eerie* After a year of silence, I will speak… Welcome back to Dynasty Chat- your favorite random and stupid talk show!

My audience claps for a few seconds before calming, afraid of angering the guest.

Me: Thank you, everyone. Now, let me remind you of the rules. This is MY show. Dynasty Chat is a talk show that I host and ask your favorite Dynasty Warriors and Dynasty Warriors couples questions that we want answered. Our guest today happens to be one of the greatest warlords the world has ever seen. Audience, please welcome the one and only Lord Cao Cao!

Cao Cao comes from backstage and the crowd starts cheering. The Empress and Cao shake hands and sit down. The audience quiets down.

Cao Cao: Let us make this quick. I have a fleet to attend.

Me: I wouldn't…never mind. Our first question is from Phil the Persona Guy!

Why do you respect Liu Bei? He's a hypocrite! I hate Liu Bei!

Cao Cao: I must agree. Liu Bei is a hypocrite. However, he has potential…to a certain extent. I understand that he is a a very formidable foe.

Phil the Persona Guy: How so?

Cao Cao: *Still calm* The people flock to him as if he is a god. That, for obvious reasons, makes him a threat to me.

Which of the Dynasty Warriors girls whould you do the horizontal happy dance with?

Cao Cao: I don't understand…

Me: Rhymes with duck.

Cao Cao: I see… One of the Qiao sisters. No questions asked.

Me: Ugh, why?! Xiao is too annoying and every time I see Da, I want to slap her. She's too freaking serious!

Phil the Persona Guy: Ahem, I believe the question was for the great Lord Cao Cao. Security! Please escort this peasant out of the building.

Me: *Being dragged away* Let me go! No! Nein! Nein!

The Empress's protests fade out completely.

Phil the Persona Guy: My lord, please excuse my irrelevant friend. She knows nothing. This question is from Lonesome Butterfly.

Do you approve of how your son ran the kingdom of Wei after you died or would you rather him have done something differently?

Cao Cao: I would have rather him destroy the fools of Wu in the years of his reign of course. He decided to instead focus on less political matters and more…domestic. Obviously.

Phil the Persona Guy: Thank you for the question. The next two questions are from xLadyxLionheartx!

Why did you have your doctor killed when he was just trying to cure you headaches?

Cao Cao: *Enraged* Why wouldn't I? What kind of person would willingly allow someone to cut their head open. Are you mad? Would you like your head cut open with a sword? I can have that arranged!

Phil the Persona Guy: Chill bro. It's okay I promise. Next question.

And why do you have SO MANY wives?

Phil the Persona Guy: Excellent question.

Cao Cao: I look at it like this- if you limit yourself to only one person, will you tire of them. It is human nature for people to tire of things. I like change. Which is why Bian is my favorite. Next question.

Phil the Person Guy: From Minako the Dragon Maiden of DW.

I still chuckle at your name when people misspell or annunciate it wrong (not me, I can spell your name perfectly). Well, your opinion.

Cao Cao: I will say this much. I am in no shape or form a cow. People only began calling me that when that blasted Ma Chao started calling me that. I shall fix that error today though. From here on out, if I hear anyone refer to me as "Cow", they shall be slow sliced!

The audience gasps.

Phil the Persona Guy: Uh-oh! Royal decree alert! You heard it hear first, y'all! Right on Dynasty Chat.

I like a quote as 'speaking of Cao Cao, Cao Cao will appear' or speaking of devil, I wonder if you have been 'boo'/scared people when you appear to them.

Cao Cao: Yes. As a matter of fact, I shall appear in your room tonight. Be cautious of what you say…

Phil the Persona Guy *Weirded out* …Okay. Thank you. Minako. Our next question is from Catnip22.

If you could choose your wife from any kingdom who would it be?

Cao Cao: The Lady Bian of course. As I stated before, I like versatile women.

Phil the Persona Guy: Actually, with all do respect, you didn't.

Cao Cao: *Slowly turns head and gives host a death glare*

Phil the Persona Guy: *Unbothered* Our next question is from our very own Tobi-Is-Fluffy-Chan.

Do you think that Nobunaga Oda is your twin brother?

Phil the Persona Guy: It's true. You're both pretty badass.

Cao Cao: We aren't but I think we should be sworn siblings. We'd be two unstoppable badasses.

Phil the Persona Guy: Absolutely. Thanks Tobi! Our next question is from Warrior4Life.

Do you like cats? If you do what kind? Or are you a dog person?

Cao Cao: What kind of question is this? Wats wrong with you kid… I'm more of a dog person. I quite enjoy pugs actually. I like their faces. You should send me one.

Phil the Persona Guy: That was the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Pit bulls are more of your style. Trust me. Our next question is from Florina of Ilia.

First of all, Guo Jia! He was your favourite stratigist, right? If he had been at the battle of Chi Bi, what did you think he would've done to counter both Wu and Shu?

Cao Cao: *Sighs* Had Guo Jia been my strategist still, he wouldn't have allowed me to let the ships be linked together. He would have seen right through that little plan of Shu and Wu's.

Phil the Persona Guy: Well, our final question is from a newcomer, Cutie Daisy.

W-who d-do r-respect the m-most D-dian Wei or X-xu Zhu?

Cao Cao: I hold them both to the highest regard however I must say that I respect Dian Wei more. I cannot forget what he did for me.

Phil the Persona Guy: Okay guys, that's all of the questions for today. See you next time when I interview our wonderful First Lady, the Lady Zhen Ji.

Audience claps.


A/N: So like I haven't updated this in a year mainly because I am handing it off to someone. I'm sure you all know who Phil The Persona Guy is (btw, shoutout Phil!) or at least heard of him. Once this season of Dynasty Chat is over, I'll hang it up for good and let Phil take over. Thank you guys so much for the support and understanding.

Love you!

Kylie
#FCHW