New Improved

Dr Loveless folded his hands across his waist and smiled down at the trapped Secret Service man. "Well, well, well!" he said.

"That's a deep subject," West deadpanned back.

Loveless' face split into a wide grin. "Oh, indeed it is, Mr West! And at the moment, so are you!" His eyes twinkled merrily as he added, "So good of you to, ah, drop in! I wasn't expecting you."

"Loveless," said Jim, "if you had a trap door ready in your own bedroom along with some way of hearing my voice and replying to me, as well as this very large box in which to hold me as a prisoner, then you were expecting me."

"Oh, not precisely, my dear Mr West. In one sense, of course, I always expect you, for you and Mr Gordon do have a habit of nosing into my private business. But in another sense, as I had no idea you were anywhere near my latest, ah, headquarters - in that sense, you were not expected."

"Thank you for the lesson in semantics."

This evoked another beatific grin. "Any time, Mr West, any time! And now," the little doctor added, rocking on his heels in delight at his catch at the bottom of the pit, "as you are here, it is an absolutely certainty that Mr Gordon cannot be far away. When may we expect him?"

Jim's blue eyes glittered back as he queried, "In which sense are we speaking?"

"Oh, in either sense, of course!" said Loveless, stamping a foot as he instantly lost his great good humor. "Do not be such a nuisance! It is not becoming to you."

"My apologies," said Jim dryly.

Loveless gave a snort. "Oh, indeed, I am confident that you are utterly sincere in your regrets. Now…" He leaned closer, his eyes gleaming. "You will tell me where Mr Gordon is, lest he show up and interrupt my proceedings as is his wont. Where is he? What is he up to?"

"What is Artie up to right now? Oh, probably wishing he didn't have so much time on his hands," said Jim with a smirk.

Dr Loveless' eyebrows knit together as he stared at Mr West in bafflement. "What?" he said.

Artie sprang to his feet and dashed to the monitor to stare in incredulity at the image of Voltaire on the viewscreen. "What?" he said again.

There came a crash, and Artie looked down to see that he had lost his grip on the time rotor, which was now once again in dozens of pieces scattered round about him on the console floor.

Oops. All right, well, he was just going to have to fit the time rotor back together all over again. But for right now, Voltaire's most recent statement had completely captured his attention. "Before you died? What do you mean, before you died? When did you die?" he asked.

"It was after Dr Loveless changed Janus to look like Mr West. When the real West escaped from us, he turned on all of the electricity full blast."

"Yes, I remember that," said Artie. "Enough electricity to kill an elephant - but you lived. I remember that very well. You should have been dead maybe a dozen times over, but you lived!"

"Yes, I lived," said the giant, "for a time. But it weakened me. It affected my heart, Dr Loveless said. When we broke out of one of your pitiful prisons the next time, he had to keep urging me to hurry, saying that if I didn't, he would leave me behind. But I was so weak!. Why, I could barely take on three guards at the same time! And when we at last reached a place of safety, I collapsed. Dr Loveless told me later that he tried everything he could - he assured me that he did all he could, to his very uttermost - but I died."

"You died," Artie repeated after the big man. "Begging your pardon, Voltaire, but I just don't understand that. If you died, how are you talking with me now? How were you able to fight Jim a little earlier? The evidence of that fight is all around me right now. No ghost could have broken my time rotor so thoroughly!"

"Your what?" asked Voltaire, looking befuddled.

"Ah… never mind about that. But how is it that you are alive?"

The giant's shoulders gave an eloquent shrug. "Dr Loveless replicated me."

"He rep… Oh, he did not!"

"Yes! Yes, he did. That is what he told me he did for me. He told me that he rewards loyalty just as he punishes betrayal, and so he made me a new body and brought me back to life. A new me. A better me."

"Better? Oh, yes, you said he made your, uh, head harder."

Voltaire grinned. "That is not the only improvement he made."

"Oh? What else did he…?" Artie suddenly snapped his fingers. "Of course! That explains it!"

"Explains what, Mr Gordon?" asked Voltaire, smiling.

"Every time we had dealt with the two of you before, you were mute. But after the Janus incident when you were electrocuted, the next time the pair of you showed up… Well, I'm sure you remember how I chased what I thought was a suspicious little boy down an alley that time when we knew that someone was attempting to disrupt the governor of California's program to save the state from insolvency. This, of course, was before we knew the someone involved was dear old Dr Loveless once more. So I went chasing down that alley hot on Loveless' heels, and when I started poking around a stack of boxes and barrels, trying to find where he had gone, suddenly you were there, and talking!"

Voltaire chuckled. "Oh yes, Mr Gordon. I was there. You should have seen the look on your face just before my fist flattened you! Yes, Dr Loveless gave me the gift of speech. And I have not stopped talking since." And the big man grinned broadly, showing all his teeth.

"I think you should be aware of something, Mr West," said Dr Loveless angrily. "And that is the fact that, very frequently when you think you are being humorous, you patently are not!"

"Thank you," said Jim with a smile.

"Oh!" huffed Loveless and stalked away. Jim heard the click of a switch, and a ceiling began sliding out from opposite walls at the top of the pit, cutting off the light. Jim was being completely boxed in.

With a clang the two sides of the ceiling met, plunging Jim into darkness. Moments later there came the crackle of a match being lit, and then the flame was transferred to the wick of a small candle Jim had had on him for just such an emergency. Using the candle to examine the wall where he remembered the outlet of the chute to be, Jim touched the wall lightly, feeling for a crack, looking at the area obliquely in the hopes of finding that little door…

Yes! Here it was. Jim knelt before the door and dripped a small pool of wax onto the floor. Then he stood the candle upright in the puddle, freeing up both hands to work on the door. He pulled out the broad-bladed knife from the back of his jacket collar and tried to fit the tip into the very fine crack where the door adjoined the wall in the hopes of prizing open the door.

"So," said Artie as he sat back down amidst the bits of his time rotor and began all over again to fit it together, "did Dr Loveless make any other improvements to you while he was at it?"

Voltaire's image on the monitor grinned even more broadly. "Of course he did."

"Such as?" Artie had brought out his sonic screwdriver now and was firmly welding together the various parts as he got them into their proper places.

The giant laughed. "And you think I will tell you? It is much better if I surprise you with them!"

Artie paused and looked up at the big man on the screen, then shrugged and muttered, "Fine, be that way," and went back to work.

Moments later a loud clang yanked his attention away from the time rotor. Setting it down hastily but carefully this time, Artie jumped up and peered at the monitor.

Clang! Again the noise reverberated through the speakers, echoing all around the console room. Voltaire was kicking the door of the rolling cell, trying to break free!