O~KAY! I'm not sure if you guys feel betrayed of thought I was lying when I said I wouldn't take long breaks before. This wasn't a break! I was really busy on school and other stories and plot development. I don't know. I'm dumb... But I've officially decided to remove deadlines from this. No more promising to update next week and looking like a lying ass hole! Hopefully, this will help me get them out faster and remove a little stress! Oh! And I hope you're all enjoying my first Spamano, 'Broken.' I usually write that right after 'Even in Death.' So, chapter seven!


School was always my favorite place in the world! I've always been good at studying and working with others. The teachers never had a problem with me and though I wasn't in any clubs I stayed out of the way.

But it was never perfect.

Schools have hierarchic and social norms. And if you put it in terms of classes, I wasn't very high. Alfred was out going and attractive and though not that smart, his charisma and skills as a leader made up for what his actual academics lacked; he's lower upper class. My friends are middle class. Excluding Katyusha who is upper class as well as Natalia. Ivan is higher upper class for a variety of reasons, including the fact that he ruled the school as treated the world like a disposable playground.

Roderich just moved here, but already, he was middle class, and rising! Gilbert is an all star. Everyone in school loves him. He's athletic and kind and inspires those around him. He has an exotic look that I was told is drawing in a number of admirers. Plus he had a brother who was pretty high on the social scale. He didn't mouth of to the teachers, but instead joked around with them, despite his less than perfect scores.

Gilbert was middle upper class. An elite bunch, exceeded only my Ivan the powerful. Yet for some reason he keeps lowering his standards and eating lunch up on the roof with me and my vastly middle class friends!

I know he's my guardian angel and all, but isn't he just a little embarrassed to be seen with a lower class like me? Liz, captain of the paper, keeps running heart-throbs and scandals about me and Gil's presumed relationship. Doesn't that bother him?

But... Gil's always been rather... attached to me for some reason. But there's no way he actually cares about me in that way. Sure, he's supposed to be my guardian angel or something like that, whatever. But there's no way he's actually in lo-

"Mathew Bonnefoy! Could you please pay attention? I bet you didn't hear one word I said since the beginning of class!" scolds, placing a dark, ring-studded hands on each hips, and pursing her lips indignantly.

Maple!

I had been so entrapped with my own thoughts, I didn't even remember that I was in home room. And I was supposed to be listening to Ms.M as she gave the announcements. But, I couldn't seem to focus. Gilbert was plaguing my mind. It wasn't an unusual occurrence. It seemed that lately I couldn't get the albino out of my thoughts no matter what I was doing.

I look behind me at the German (Prussian beiy!) teen in question. He's leaning back in his chair, hood up, and a little yellow bird on his head; fast asleep. Shocker.

"I'm sorry..." I tell the teacher, lowering my head in shame. A few kids giggle, but then carries on.

"Like I was saying, we decided that for our class assignment, we would be taking a trip. And since the school district frowns upon this kind of hands on and potentially hazardous learning, they wont be funding us. So! What that mans is we're going to the safest inexpensive yet educational place that parents and budgets will allow: the park!"

"Ugh!" An over all grown echos through the class room from a majority of students.

"Yeah yeah yeah. I know you're all super excited about this little odesy. But were just going camping at the wilderness park. It's only a mile or two away from here, and it's just for one night. So suck it up because like it or not were leaving tomorrow or I'm failing the lot of you!"

Another groan. rolls her eyes, inspecting the paper in her hand with the class announcements written on it.

"In addition, for us to even be able to even get qualified to go on this trip, we'll be doing health inspections for our class today. If you're in no condition to go, then you will get a zero on the assignment. In other words, pass your physical or I'll fail you!"

An uncomfortable silence settled on across the room. And I knew from the subtle glances I was receiving that the nervous tension constricting across the faces of my peers was not for their sake, but my own.

I gulped.

"Class dismissed." said stoically, and everyone started packing their bags and slowly shuffling out the door. I could feel their steady gazes linger on my form before they disappeared from sight. But that's to be expected. After all, I did get diagnosed with cancer about a month or so ago.

I was supposed to die...

"Mattie~" Alfred wines, wrapping his arms around me, "Give your poor big (hero) brother a hug! Comfort me comfort me~!" He lets down some fake tears, I rub his back, smiling softly.

"What's wrong, Al?"

"Oh Mattie, it's the worst! They say I can't cum with you to the stupid trip in the park thingie! They said you would be fine with out me. With out me! The hero!"

I chuckle. My brother may act like a hero, but really, he's just an overly protective and loving idiot! "I will be fine. Don't worry so much."

Half my statement comes out muffled due to the fact that Alfred pulled my head in closer so my face got buried in his hoodie."But I'm your hero~ Mattie! Besides..." he lowered his voice so it was just above a whisper, a volume I didn't even know Al was capable of. He tightened his grip on my shoulders, face filling with a mix of pain and guilt. "Besides, little brother, I think I've spent enough time staying away from you to last a life time."

Alfred let me go and turned away promptly. "I'm sorry," he mumbled, seeming to be wiping his eyes. I watched as sorrow practically radiated off of his slumped being. "I...I'm going to ask the teacher to reconsider. I really want to be there with you." He straightened up, turned and gave me a thumbs up grinning proudly, "the hero has to be there to protect you after all!" Then he left out.

I stood there, unable to move for a while.

Was that how Alfred saw me now. As something delicate and once abandoned that he had to stand by and protect, less it brake?

Why did I have to be such a burden to him?

I hated to think that I was holding anyone back, especially Alfred. He had his own class he needed to be attending, and his grades were bad enough as it was. He didn't need to be skipping class to play hero and "protect" me at every turn. How could I live with my self knowing how badly my life was effecting his own?

I sigh, making a move to walk out the class room, when I feel a hand on my shoulder.

"Mathew Williams Bonnefoy, we need to talk." It was Roderich. His voice was firm and commanding, but not threatening. I nodded. He said to follow him in that superior tone he seems to project naturally, and I do as told.

We walk up to the roof. Lunches don't start for three more periods, so the place is abandoned. He stops suddenly and takes a deep breath, before turning and looking me straight in the eyes.

His midnight blue eyes locked with my own purple colored ones. And for a moment they seemed to flash with sympathy before he once again took a breath to gather his resolve. "Mathew," he began, and from the tone of his voice I could tell this would not be a casual friendly chat.

"I think it would be best for you to cut ties with Gilbert Beilschmit." That was it no explanations or follow ups. He simply told me not to have anything to do with the single most important person besides my family to ever meet me in my entire life!

"WAIT!" I yelped, reaching out and grabbing the Austrian's arm as he started to walk to the door. "I...I can't, I can't do that, I just can't. Please, why? Why do I have to stay away from Gilbert?"

He sighed, like me wanting some kind of logical reason was trivial and not worth his time. "It's dangerous for two being on separate spiritual planes to connect in any deep way. Say your feelings for Gilbert were to grow, say you fell in love with the poor fool. You would both suffer greatly, especially that idiot. So just, distance yourself until this whole thing is over. You and Gilbert aren't the only ones affected by this turn of events. I've been so stressed lately..." I watch him adjust his tie and pat down his blazer pocket before turning to go back inside, "Being alive, isn't always a blessing."

I shiver as he disappears in to the building.

Exactly how many people was I inconveniencing by not dying in the hospital that day?

I didn't have the time I needed to ponder the question when the loud speaker went off and I heard Ivan talking. He is student body president, so I guess he has to spare time to make these sort of announcements. But... did he just say my name?

'Again, class 2-D's physical exams will start promptly when the bell rings in the auditorium. Matvey Bonnefoy, you are wanted in the nurses office. Have a good day comrades.'

Maple.

That was so embarrassing!

\(T^T)/

I woke up, to darkness. Apparently I had fallen asleep in class an none of my ass hole class mates or my sweet birdie bothered to wake me up!

Of course, birdie was understandable. He was probably still mad at me for what happened earlier, and even if he had no reason to be mad, I couldn't hold it against him. Mathew Williams was simply to adorable for any one to hold a grudge against his cute little face!

I know I couldn't.

I know, not for anything in the world, could I ever bring myself to hate hold a grudge or ever be truly mad at Mathew. He was just to kind. And considerate. Mathew was soft and sweet and loving. Her puts up with me and I care for him with all my heart. I might lo-

'Class 2D, please got o the auditorium for physical exams at the ringing of the bell. Matvey Bonnefoy, you are wanted in the nurses office currently. Again, class 2-D's physical exams will start promptly when the bell rings in the auditorium. Matvey, you are wanted in the nurses office. Have a good day comrades.'

Physical exams? Class trip? Mathew's going to the nurse?

"WHAT THE HELL DID I MISS!?" I yell, taking off for the nurses office. Running out the room, I run into Roddy. He looks up at me with surprise and... What the hell? Why does he look so guilty? He tries to scurry past like he didn't see me, but I grab his shoulder, spinning him my way. He struggles.

"What do you want? Unhand me you brute! I'm a gentleman!"

"Oh yeah? I've never seen a gentleman look so guilty before. What'd you do while I was out? Highjack a bank?" I laugh, but he avoids my eyes nervously.

"Holly shit! You really did!?" I laugh a little louder, patting him on the back a couple times, "Didn't know you had it in you! You're usually such an uptight loser, keseseseses~" I chuckle loudly, until he pushes me off.

His looks angry. Oops!

"No, you idiot!" He shouts indignantly, "I didn't highjack, as you say, a bank! I just had a little chat with Mathew!" I stop laughing, "And why would you condone such actions as..." He trails off, noticing my grave expression.

"Roderich," I say, in a steely voice, "what the hell did you say to my Birdie?"

\(T^T)/

"Sorry *huff* i took so long... getting *huff* here!" I plead to the nurse who was sure to be awaiting me.

It's been taking me some getting use to, running around and being active the same way I was before the hospital stay. My body may be healed of injuries and illness, but after a month or so of lying in bed, my lungs scream for air when I try to be fast. Also, I was in such a rush to get here, that I tripped over my own two feet. Some girls saw me and started to swarm.

How embarrassing! Oh, maple, I'm a walking disaster...

"It's okay Mathew Williams, please take a seat. I've been expecting to see you for a while now." It was a soft male voice. Not the tone of the cheery school nurse with her pink flower. But like her's, it held an Asian accent.

I look up too meet dark chocolate orbs staring back at me. As if examining my being to engrave the memory into his mind. He had short black hair, and didn't frown or smile. Everything from his plain doctors coat to the way his eyes looked almost through you, was entirely neutral in a therapeutic way.

"R-Right..." I stutter, taking a seat in the chair against the wall he gestured to.

He walked over with a number of instruments, but he placed them on the table beside me, carrying only a clip board.

"There is a measuring tape on the wall. I'll first record your sitting height, standing height, weight, and eye sight. Then we'll go a little into detail about your hospital stay and previous illnesses." He looks up from his notes and looks me straight in the eyes, "But I'll only continue with your permission, Mathew Williams. So, would you sign this release for?"

"Of-Of course!" I say, happily complying. I take the clip board from him. A fleeting smile crosses his features, and I barely catch a glimpse as I write out my signature on the provided dotted line, then hand it back.

"Thank you, very much..." He's back to the monotone and complacent gaze, "Now, shall we begin?" I nod.

We go through the procedure nearly wordlessly. This is all old news to me. Even before being practically probed and poked and tested on to death at the hospital for weeks, I had my regularly scheduled checkups for my sketch health. Besides, everyone's gone through physical exams!

Okay, , the formal work is all filled out properly. That should suffice for the task of satisfying you teacher. Congratulations, you're perfectly healthy."

Th-thank you." I pipe up, not as loud as I wish I could.

"It is quite the mystery though. How you were able to go from terminal to perfect health in the time span of a two day comma..." Those word perk my interest. I'd never seen this doctor before, how does he know so much about the time I spent in quarantine? Was he briefed?

"Yes, quite the peculiar case... The doctors working with you have informed me that one of the possible reasons why the treatment plan wasn't working for you could be that you simply had no more drive to even continue living. And after looking over footage from the monitors you were first placed under, I could see, that seemed to be the case."

I was more than shocked at this statement. Some stranger was telling me he had been studying me for a long time, and told me that when I was sick, it was simply because I didn't want to live! I don't even know this guy!

"What are you trying to say..." I whisper hesitantly, pulling my knees up to hug my legs, and eying him suspiciously. Perhaps this guy wasn't exactly who he appeared to be.

"It's just, you pulled through suddenly. Even in your comma, you seemed to suddenly be fighting for life. It's truly amazing what proper motivation can do to a situation..." He looks over and our eyes lock, "What was it, that motivated you ?"

I didn't say anything, and he continued, "I heard a friend of yours who recently started attending school here, visited you just before you were released from the hospital. Your family hadn't visited, you were probably very lonely. Could what have provoked your recovery,"

"I don't..." I begin, but don't exactly know what to say.

"Have been love? For this boy who came to see you?" That was it. The question was asked and suddenly, I really had to think about it: Did I love Gilbert?

It was true, he has always been very kind, literally saving me from an early grave, then continuing to support me despite all the trouble I cause him... But still, I was trouble. I burdened Alfred and Roderich, and... even Gilbert. I had made him put his whole existence on hold to stand by me. But, was that because of love, or my own selfish desire to not be alone?

"You don't love him." The young doctor assured suddenly, ripping me from my thoughts. "You may be infatuated with the aspect of having someone to rely on and keep you company, but it is not love. Besides, any form of lustful fling between a mortal and being from another realm ends in tragedy for both parties!"

The statement was cold and firm and unforgiving. It took me a full thirty seconds to be able to breath again, another to realize this guy was not from my world, and another minute to be able to coax my voice into forming words again.

"Who...are you?" I ask, as loud and demanding as I can which is barely above a whispered squeak. He stand and starts removing his borrowed doctors coat, rehanging it on a hook by the closet.

"I am Kiku Honda, an angel. You, Mathew Williams, have stirred controversy in both heaven and hell through you relationship with the specter, Death, Gilbert Beilschit. I will not ask you to leave him, I'm commanding you for your own good. If such a relationship continues between you two, the consequences will be sever for the both of you.

"PLEASE!" I yell, tears brimming my eyes, ready to fall. He faces me and my courage falters, "Please tell me. What...what will happen to Gilbert?"

"He'll die."

He didn't skip a beat. just stated the answer like he was reading the weather forecast. But my heart ached with those two words, and the tears fell uncontrollably.

"Yes, since Death was the one who started this dalliance, he'll pay the ultimate price for your separation. Pain will consume him, crushing and slowly draining his life force from the inside out until one day he just doesn't wake up. Because he is not strictly alive, per-say, his very soul will dissolve, and he will fade to nothingness, unable to go to heaven or hell. And you, once Death is gone, you will revert back to your previous state of sickness. A new death should be assigned by then. And if not," he walks away going to the door, "I'll personally go and harvest your soul myself."

He left, just like that. What was I supposed to do!? I sat in the nurses office cry.

No wonder Roderich wanted us to stay away from each other! If I ever fell in love with Gilbert (and he loved me back) we'd both die! It was awful. I felt like my heart would fall out of my chest, I started to choke, the tears kept coming, I couldn't breath!

"Birdie?" Gilbert ask, slowly stepping into the nurses office to find me on the ground.

\(T^T)/

I raced down the corridor, one thing on my mind.

I had to get to Mathew fast, no matter what! After the conversation I just had with Roderich, I can imagine ho the on he had with the Austrian on the roof must have went. And right now, he's probably either hating himself, crying, or both...

Half way there, I run by a happy Alfred, flirting with the scary Belorussian girl by the student government room. He tries to say something to me, but I don't have time for that crap, and keep going.

Faster...Faster...Faster...Almost there!

I halt suddenly as I see someone exiting the nurses office.

He's not exactly tall, but not short. He has raven hair, and empty dark brown eyes. I almost recognize him. But I couldn't remember from where. Noticing me notice him, he turned to look at me. Brown orbs widened slightly. Then he smiled an expression that seemed to strain awkwardly,contrast to his seemingly unfeeling demeanor.

He bowed. Then walked away. I couldn't shake the strange feeling of dread forming in me, or the thought that the Japanese man looked familiar. But that wasn't what was important right now.

Taking a deep breath, I walked up to the nurses office, the stranger now far from sight, and press my ear to the door.

The soft but unruly sobs from the other side makes my heart drop.

"Birdie..." I chime quietly, slipping into the room. I drop to my knees next to him, and wrap my arms around him, burying his face in my chest. I just needed to be with him right then. I never feel to good when I'm away from Birdie. Holding him, I just...

"Gil *Sniff* I'm... I'm sorry that I *Sniff* that I burden you so *hic* so much. I'm just so sorry! *Sniff* I'm such a wreck!"

"Ssh." I coo softly, "Hush now Birdie. Don't cry. I'm here for you, don't worry. I'll always be here for you." I rub his back in small soothing circles. He starts shaking his head violently.

"No! I... I can't keep being so reliant *hic* and, and u-useless *sob* and helpless! I hate it! A-and if you *sob* if you keep getting closer to me, *hic* K-Kiku said that you'd, you would..!" He breaks out into a whole new fit of tears, I'm frozen.

'Kiku.' I know that name, and now I can match the face I saw in the hallway. that was Kiku Honda, next in line to be ruler of heaven. The guys powerful and influential and and!

Shit.

I knew those angels wouldn't just let me off the hook.

They're going to be after us now aren't they. Heh, I fucking hate politics.

"Don't worry, little bird. Nothing can drive me away from you. Not even death; I'll never leave your side. Not even in death."


*Sob* Hic Sob* Beiy~ I'm sorry! I just love this story so so much! Beiy! TT^TT It's so cute, I love this pairing. Beiy. Things will only get harder from now on for Mathew and Gilbert now... Beiy, I'm sorry for slow updates and what not. Also, I don't ship Austria with Hungary, Beiy, so that's not going to go anywhere... Sorry! Japan is so cute beiy~