LOVE FOOLS
D word
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JPOV
I didn't get any message or call from her for next two more days. My mom started asking me to bring Bella back.
How can I tell her the actual reason for her stay in her parent's house? I kept convincing her that Bella was busy with office work and will come back when the work pressure has reduced.
Next day I was alone in home, working something on my laptop. I heard door bell ringing and came out to see that a person was standing with an envelope cover.
He just asked my name and handed over the envelope to me . When i asked him the sender details, he just told me that he was ordered to deliver it to me and went away. Closing the door, i walked inside and opened the cover. When i saw what was in that envelope, I was shocked to the core. That cover contains divorce papers.
I just dropped myself on the couch and stared at those papers.
Don't I deserve happiness,
happiness of seeing my wife welcoming me with a smile when I reach home from work
happiness of having a wife with whom I can share everything
happiness of drifting to sleep peacefully with a smile on my face and with you in my arms
happiness of seeing her beautiful face when I wake up from sleep every morning
happiness of fulfilling her wishes even before she expresses them
happiness which makes me possessive that I have a person who belongs to only me with heart, soul and body
happiness when she conveys the best news that am gonna be a father soon
happiness of seeing her tummy grow bigger and bigger as the months progress,
happiness of holding my baby and you in my arms.
Don't I deserve those, not all but at least few. Am I not worthy for any of those happiness?
Why are you like this?
Why can't you move on your life with me?
Why are you suffering and why are you making me suffer?
Why are you punishing when I am not at all at fault?
Why ?
Why?
Why?
Why, Can't you love your husband ,Bella?
These were the questions going on my mind when I saw the damn divorce papers, which am currently holding in my hand.
Good thing that my family was not at home; otherwise my mom would had a heart attack if she saw the divorce papers.
I immediately called Bella and asked her to meet me at a cafe. I got ready and reached there ,when she came I asked her about those divorce papers. Bella simply told me that she wanted divorce.
I felt deeply frustrated and angry on myself for foolishly thinking from her point of view every time from the start of our relationship.
I was a big fool expecting that my wife will understand me , wiping my tears away I started writing a letter to her .
Dear Bella,
I agree that I did a mistake but no man is flawless. You are my wife. I wouldn't have behaved like that with any other girl. I thought I have right on you. I thought you belong to me like how I belong to you.
If loving your wife like crazy and trying to gain her attention, love and care is lust in your view then yes, in your words my love is lust for you.
If I cannot get physical intimacy with you with, then whom should I expect? You are my wife and am not ashamed to admit that I have needs and I wanted you fulfill those as my wife. I thought that as a girl you need some time to get ready for that, but I was so wrong!
I explained to you whatever i wanted to say when i came to your home, i thought you will think about it and understand my situation and I expected you to come back to me but i didn't expect divorce papers at all ...
I tried..I tried a lot to save our relationship but now I realized that between a couple only one partner effort is not enough,it needs both husband and wife efforts to make their relationship work.
I realized that I was the one who is holding the last threads of our relation, if you are not ready to share your life with me then I cannot hold you with me for long time. For me, marriage is a very sacred relationship but I decided to let you go out of my life.I know it is very hard for me to take this step but I have to try because I can keep the person I love with pressure but cannot gain that person's heart.
You know what you are the one who got best and worst out of me.
The best thing is my love for you, I never thought that other than my mother. I could love another than her.
The worst thing is that you turned me into a beast who forced himself on his wife.
I never thought I could love my wife so much. I still believe that I didn't do anything wrong by loving someone but the mistake I did is to love a wrong person.
I HATE YOU now, YOU DON'T DESERVE MY LOVE. I know that i realized this lately but am happy that at least now i realized it .
Thanks to you for making me realize not to love someone so blindly. I have learned the lesson and am not gonna give another chance to anyone to break it.
I don't think I can handle anymore heartbreaks. You accused me that my love is lust and also I tried to force you, can you answer me honestly to my questions.
Did I make a fuss for loving someone before marriage like other husbands do if they find their wife's about their past relations?
Don't you think I could have forced myself on you and continue with what I was doing the other day , but I stopped myself because I loved you I don't want to do anything which makes you miserable. don't you see my love in this?
If you love someone then why the hell did you respond to my kiss ? Huh?
I am not justifying my actions I swear I still feel guilty for my behaviour towards you on that day and am still sorry for that. No girl deserve to be treated like that especially from her husband. Even if you forgive me though I don't expect you to forgive me as well, I will never forgive myself for that.
You must be wondering if I am ready to give divorce then why am I telling you all these, right?
I am telling you all this because I want you to know that I really loved you, my love is not just lust and wanted you to realize the pain I had gone through in these months. If we had a normal husband and wife relation ;I wouldn't have written this letter to share my views.
I never got a chance to express my feelings as you never gave me one.
Don't worry you won't see my face ever again in this life because I am gonna.. why am I telling you the this as if you care?
I talked to my lawyer, he will contact you soon. I already signed the divorce papers and made all the necessary arrangements so that there is no need of my presence further. So you are gonna get what you have wished for, don't forget that you are not getting it because you want it but instead you are getting it because now I want the divorce.
I just need a favour from you, don't let your parents know about this divorce especially to my mom because she won't be able to bear it. I will let her know when she is strong enough to digest this.
Good bye!
Yours,
Soon to be ex-husband,
Jacob black
