Forward and Disclaimer in one: Okay all. I finished in Sunday. Just like I said I would. This was an exciting chapter for me. I am delving slightly into two other characters. My favourite: Alice. And my husband (once I drugged him and take him to vegas).
I used the extra from Stephenie Meyer to base this. I thought it was an alright premise to start with because it's the only piece of information into the mind of Edward where we see his distress. Of course I don't own Stephenie's actual works.
Playlist.
For Alice POV:
Rooftop, Melissa McClelland
Screaming Infidelities, Dashboard Confessional
For Edward POV:
There Is, Box Car Racer
P.S. I Love You, The All American Rejects
The Pros and Cons of Breathing
Chapter Six: Two Pieces
He was so beautiful: his fair hair falling over his face slightly and his golden eyes that were so much more soulful than any human in the world
He was so beautiful: his fair hair falling over his face slightly and his golden eyes that were so much more soulful than any human in the world. He could capture a perfect moment in his irises. When I first woke up from the change and saw his face that's what I pictured. I saw forever deep within a mask of burgundy and self-loathing. I saw that I would be his savoir. He always told me I was his hope in a pixie frame. Now, with his right hand on a doorknob and his left holding a small backpack I didn't know if I would ever be his personal savoir again.
It was my last chance at self-preservation and I was disgusted at myself. "He told us not to go, Jasper. We have to honour Edward's wishes. We made a promise." I pleaded with my arms crossed. I didn't need to touch him to get my point across, he could sense everything I was feeling. He knew I was afraid. I didn't need a vision to know this was a bad idea.
"I can't keep this promise anymore Alice. It's destroying me. Can't you see that?" Jasper face was hardly composed. It hadn't been for almost two months. When we first left, it was me that internally twisted and pained. I begged Jasper to let me go back, but he insisted that we both let Edward's madness play out. He would come to his senses soon enough, Jasper said. Weeks slipped by and we started hearing less from Edward. He stopped checking in. He wouldn't even talk to me when he did come home. I didn't care; I almost hated him.
After a couple months, I buried myself into my own relationship with Jasper. Focusing on us kept me borderline content. Only when I started coming around did I really see how Jasper was fighting a harder battle. In my own pain I never realized that Jasper was just being strong for me. He forgot his own guilt and grief to protect me.
Perhaps that's why I was letting his go so easily. If going to her would ultimately give me back my once strong and brilliant Jasper, I wouldn't think twice. I just couldn't pin down why I such a large part of me was screaming, NO and begging the rest of me to pin him down until he agrees to stay. I did spend days fighting with him to stay, but no matter how hard I tried we still found ourselves here, by the doorway.
I don't ever remember Jasper so completely disregarding my emotions like this. If I were human I'd most likely be streaming tears in sobs. My instincts told me I was losing him. My visions couldn't agree either way. Everything was just too indefinite to get anything. The only clear vision was my torn Jasper leaving through the door in the exact clothes he was wearing now. It was a nightmare being on repeat. The worst part was I knew I was losing, betting against myself.
"I'll see you soon," Jasper whispered halfway out the door. I gave a twisted nod and he disappeared. I was alone.
It was less than a week I decided that the house could no longer detain me. I was narrowing down my research on asylums and a vision hit me. Bella going limp and falling towards the ground in a fluid sort of motion. Jasper taking her back to the Cullen home. Jasper wrecked and terrified. Jasper touching Bella's cheek. I was confusing, unnerving. I wanted to phone him, but I couldn't bring myself to grab my phone.
I let a couple days slip by before dialing Jasper's number. It was the moment I decided to fly to a place in Mississippi. I couldn't get the image of Jasper's fingers tracing Bella's skin. He was so being gentle and caring I told myself.
I pressed the phone up to my ear and the ringing reverberated in my ear. "Alice," my Jasper spoke smoothly. I closed my eyes at the sound of my name.
"Jasper," I replied. I almost forgot why I wanted to say. "I called to tell you that I'm travelling to Biloxi for a couple of weeks. Don't worry, there's nothing too dangerous." I tried to sound casual, but my voice was ragged. I was excited to find out about myself, if that was where I was from.
Jasper seemed very happy for me too. He actually seemed more content overall. It makes me grateful to Bella. She must have been a lot better off than we both expected. I entertained the idea of visiting her too. I miss her terribly.
"She misses you, Alice." He told me after I brought it up. "But right now, she feels betrayed that you didn't even say goodbye to her. I don't know if it's the best thing to do." My thoughts fell. I never realized how much Bella would resent me. I figured Edward, but me? Didn't she know that I wanted to? Didn't Edward tell her why I didn't say goodbye? I was fuming my thoughts to Edward and at the same time begging Jasper to get Bella to forgive me. I needed Bella to know that I loved her, even if I couldn't ever see her again. Vampires don't forget.
It was two weeks later when my entire being was ripped to shreds. It was eleven in the morning and I was locked up in a motel in Biloxi reading through "borrowed" files for the eleventh time.
Jasper's tongue traced the lining of Bella's neck. His hands moving under the soft fabric of Bella's shirt. His body pressed against hers. Bella. Bella unbuttoning the pants of my husband, letting the fabric slip to the floor. Both of them crammed into a small bathroom, barred up against the sink. I wanted to shut it off, but I couldn't. It was ingrained against the back of my skull. The images flashing like sirens. It didn't matter if my eyes were open or closed all I could see was their bodies entwined and their mouths never leaving each other's bodies. The inside of my mind was spinning.
The walls surrounding me were shrinking, I needed to get out. Thirst welled up inside me and started to scratch the walls of my throat. I rummaged for my gloves and hat. I was barely thinking. Every time I chanced to think all I would see is Jasper having sex with Bella.
I took one look at the empty street and darted for the nearest forest. Should I call them, I asked myself quickly. Maybe I could stop this before it actually became that, but I couldn't will my self to pick up the phone. I just keep running, deeper in the forest.
I hunted for hours. I let any anger or hurt I had manifest itself upon the wildlife in the forest. I realized that it was Jasper I was angry with. Bella was only human after all. She was probably acting on pure hurt. I didn't know for sure, but I couldn't bring myself to hate her. I blamed Edward and Jasper. Both of them were acting on pure selfishness. I called Jasper that night, and then on every week for a couple months.
Jasper lied and lied and lied to me. Every phone call. He told me about how messed up Bella was and how he needed to stay and that eventually I could visit. Eventually. I even talked to Bella a couple times. She never talked long. I guess the guilt was overwhelming.
There was hope in all of this. I was getting flickers from Edward. He was breaking down. It was only a matter of time before he returned from wherever he was.
Edward POV
I could've been in Rio de Janeiro. I really didn't know, or care. All I knew is I lost track of Victoria somewhere along the lines. She was probably somewhere in Texas, when I almost had her last. It was torturing knowing that she evaded me once more. I had no idea when I would be able to find her scent again. I knew I had to find her trace once more, without it—my purpose is lost. Reasons for existing were falling through my hands like water. There was no stable to ground anymore.
It was still dark outside and I was laying on the forest floor, somewhere in the rainforest. Wildlife wandered past me like I wasn't there. I couldn't be bothered with feeding, even though I knew I had to. The burning was a distraction to me.
When I wasn't thirsty or consumed in tracking Victoria, my thoughts were free to wander. There was only one person in the world worth thinking about. No! I told myself. Stop! She deserved so much more than I could give her. She deserved to be free to laugh and smile without me. Without all the damnation I would bring her. Even if I would never forget her for as long as I walked the earth, she deserved to grow old and marry. To have children and grandchildren and see them grow. What kind of happiness could I give her? There was none, only hell in a venom-soaked hand basket.
The phone buzzed again in my pocket. It was most likely Carlisle or Esme. They called once a day. Telling me they loved me and wanted me home. I stopped answering last month, when Jasper wasn't home and couldn't control Rosalie's hysteria. She was bitter since I "destroyed" the family by leaving. Alice, who I used to be closest to before I met her, hated me. I didn't need to hear her thoughts to know that. She loved her as much as I did. I didn't even give Alice permission to say goodbye. Jasper consoled her as much as he could.
He was the only person I talked to. He would text me when he was alone and I would sometimes phone. We would talk about strategies for finding Victoria. He would never ask me to come home or convey pleas from the rest of the family. It was almost six weeks since we last talked. He did sent a brief message a couple weeks back, apologizing. Supposedly Alice hadn't left him alone since the fight. He would try soon.
Twenty minutes later the phone vibrated again. Why couldn't they leave me alone? I took out the phone to chuck it deeper in the forest. The name flashed. It was Rosalie's phone. My curiosity flared. Why would she bother to call, ever?
I flipped open the phone. "You answered?" Shock flowed through Rosalie's voice.
Anger flickered in rapidly. "What do you want Rosalie?" The words echoed off the forest canopy. I knew I sounded lethal. I didn't waste time with formalities and there was nothing in my mind but the last conversation we shared—which was not pleasant.
"I want you to stop acting so childish and come home Edward. You are hurting Carlisle and Esme so much. We need you. We aren't a family without you Edward. Especially since Jasper and Alice left." Rosalie was pleaded. It was almost comical, listening to the ice queen melt with some foreign emotion.
"Then why don't you just get Jasper and Alice back to fill my void, and then just leave me alone!"
"Stop acting like a child Edward!" Rosalie spat, but I could almost hear her regret it as soon as the words came out. I merely laughed.
"You Rosalie have no right to say anything. You, being most probably the biggest egocentric person in the entire universe. Forget this. I'm hanging up."
"Wait!" Rosalie pleaded just moments before I touched the little red end button.
"What is it Rose?" I coughed out, with my eyes closed, internally begging for the conversation to stop so I could get on with my own personal hell, alone.
Rosalie paused for a second before speaking. "Just think about it Edward, please. It's miserable here and we could help you. If you'd let us. And of course I want Alice and Jasper to come home. Emmett tries to call Jasper everyday, and Alice wont be back from her trip to Biloxi for another mon—"
"What?" I choked out.
Rosalie's annoyance peaked slightly, "Well, if you were here you'd know. Alice went to Mississippi to see if that's where she's from."
"Where's. Jasper?" I elongated.
A sigh escaped Rosalie's lips before continuing. "Oh, who knows. He went on some soul searching venture months ago or something." I heard the words, but they weren't making any sense.
"They aren't together?" I asked, barely audible.
I could almost hear Rosalie's eyes roll, not sensing any importance in what she was saying. "I'm sure they are still together, but no, for argument sake Jasper didn't go with Alice t-" I didn't even realize I hit the off button.
The next digits I dialed were automatic. It was the only phone I've called in months. It rang and rang. Only after five consecutive rings did it finally pick up.
"What's wrong?" A hushed an nervous tone asked me, clearly not expecting me.
I tried to come across blasé. "I just need to rework this strategy a bit. I lost the trail. I'm way thrown off. Another continent thrown off—I need your help figuring out where I might have went wrong."
I heard Jasper swallow, but at the same time I heard so much more. "Yeah, okay, but can this wait until later. Alice is just in the—changeroom, and if she hears you—well, you'll know what comes."
"Yeah sure. I'll call you later." I barely stutter out. I turned off the phone. He wasn't in a mall. Not even close. I could barely keep my head from spinning. The voice of Jessica Stanley and the Newton kid rang in my head. He was in Forks.
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