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Chapter 7
Beth-
Rick and I both looked up at Maggie as she walked in and closed the door behind her.
"Wh...what?" I stuttered.
"I said, everythin' happens for a reason," she said, takin' a few steps closer to us. "I may understand that everythin' happens for a reason but daddy won't be so understanding. Do you know what this will do to him? To know that the child you gave up was fathered by a married man? Do you know how much that would've hurt your mama, too? Their first grandchild was the product of your adultery."
"Maggie, please don't start this."
"I'm not starting anythin', Bethie. I don't care either way but you know daddy will. It took him a while to accept that you had gotten pregnant and it wasn't until he held her that he actually got over it. It's gonna break his heart to know this. And you," she turned to Rick, "don't be surprised if he tries to kill you but he'll expect an explanation first. Hell, so do I."
Rick stood up and took a step towards her. "Maggie, I never meant..."
"Save it, Rick," she held up her hands, "I'm not mad. I knew there was somethin' between you and my sister when she first saw you, I just didn't know what."
Rebecca started fussin' in my arms, catching Maggie's attention.
She looked at me with tears in her eyes. "So, she's my niece?"
Rick nodded and moved out of her way so she could take Rebecca. Maggie held her for a while before she passed her back to me.
"Daddy isn't goin' to like any of this, Bethie," she turned to Rick, "and neither is your wife. I suggest y'all figure this out quick."
"Maggie, please don't say anythin' to daddy."
"I won't tell anyone," she said, "But, as much as I think the two of you should just keep this to yourselves, this isn't somethin' you can hide. At least not for very long."
I nodded and when she left, I closed my eyes and held onto Rebecca.
"Beth," Rick put his hand on my cheek, "I need...I have to carry her out to Lori or she'll come in here lookin' for her."
"You don't have to carry her out there right now. Please let me have a few minutes with her," I begged.
Rick-
I agreed to let Beth spend a few minutes with Rebecca. After everythin' that's happened I couldn't really deny her that. Seein' Rebecca in her arms seemed right, like it was supposed to be.
Beth rocked Rebecca until she fell asleep then she laid her down on the bed and she laid down beside her.
Once Beth was asleep, I sat there watchin' them. I made too may God damn mistakes with them and as I picked Rebecca up I knew I was makin' another one.
Rebecca belongs with Beth but I can't do that to Lori. Despite everythin', she does love her and Carl.
"Where the hell have you been with my daughter?" Lori all but shouted once I reached the tent.
"We were visitin' Beth." I saw no need in lyin' to her, not when I had already decided to tell her about Rebecca.
"What?" She screamed.
"Lori, calm down before you wake everyone up."
"Screw them! You carried my daughter with you to see her!"
"I didn't carry her to see Beth. She was already in there when I got back."
"Right, like I'm going to believe that."
I shook my head. "Don't try to act like you're pissed and worried. If you had actually been worried about where she was you would've gone lookin' for her the moment you saw she wasn't in the tent. You didn't even notice, did you?"
"I noticed," she said and crossed her arms, "I'm tired of fighting, Rick. I give up. If you want to be with her and she wants to be with you, go ahead. I'm done."
I started laughin'. "How stupid do you think I am, Lori? We've been married for a long time. I know when you're lyin'."
"I'm not lyin', Rick. I mean it, I'm done," she looked down and shook her head, "I should've known something like this would happen. I knew there was someone else. You may not have been with her after we got back together but she was the one you wanted. I see that now."
I stepped back and held Rebecca a little tighter.
What the hell had gotten into Lori? What kind of game was she playin'?
Beth-
I had woken up the moment Rick had take Rebecca out of my arms but I didn't try to stop him. I had given her up. She belonged to him and Lori, not me so there wasn't anythin' I could do.
I sat down on my window sill and watched him walk out to the tents with our daughter. He talked to Lori for awhile before she took Rebecca from him and he followed them into the tent.
This is what my life has come to. Wishing I had done things differently, wanting a man I can't have and worse, wanting a family with him.
I rested my head against the window and sat there starin' into the darkness, waiting for the sun to rise. Maybe then I'll have a little more faith.
The sunrise wasn't as beautiful as it used to be. It was the same but somehow it was different. Probably because the days no longer held the good they once had. Daddy would no doubt throw a Bible at me if he knew what I was thinkin'.
Maggie came to my room a little after sun up to get me to help Patricia with gathering eggs and milking the cows. I was more than happy to do so.
"Beth?" I looked over my shoulder to see Rick standin' there with Rebecca. "Do you want to keep her for a little while?" He asked.
I shook my head and turned back to my chores. "I'm busy, Rick. Find someone else to keep her."
Over the next few days Rick kept bringing Rebecca to see me despite me askin' him not to. Every time he did though, as much as I wanted to just hold her and keep her, I knew I couldn't so I would just walk away. Much like I had done earlier before runnin' down here to the pond to be alone.
I heard footsteps comin' up behind me then Maggie sat down next to me.
"You have two choices, Bethie. You can either tell me what's goin' on and we can work on it together or we can go back to the house and have a talk with daddy and he'll make Rick leave you alone. What's it gonna be?"
Shakin' my head, I started laughin'.
"Mags, it's not Rick. It's me. I want Rick and I want Rebecca but they're not mine. I can't be with them."
"Yes, you can. Why do you think Rick is bringing her around. He loves you and he loves knowin' that you're Rebecca's mother and wants you to spend time with her. I'm not sure but I think Lori gave him an out. Somethin' about she was done, I don't know."
"Maggie, please leave it alone. I gave Rebecca up. She doesn't need to know I didn't want her."
"You didn't want her?" Maggie scoffed, "I know you wanted her. You still want her. Think about it, Bethie."
She stood up and walked away.
It wasn't long after she left that Lori showed up and sat down quietly.
Her quietness unnerved me. I half expected her to yell at me or hit me. Just somethin' other than stare into space and complete silence.
Lori-
In all honesty, I wasn't quite sure what to say to the girl. Part of me wanted to hurt her but the other part understood her side of things.
I smiled and looked over at her.
"It's not our fault we're both in love with the same man," I told her.
She scoffed and stood up. "We are NOT in love with the same man. I love Rick, not Shane."
"Beth, please wait," I called out as she walked away.
I followed her and watched as Maggie and Rick stopped her.
Rick placed a hand on her shoulder, then moved it to her cheek. Beth leaned into his touch for a moment until he tried to hand her Rebecca then she ran off.
I rolled my eyes and laughed to myself. He's tryin' desperately to make our kids her family. I don't care how much she loves him or he loves her, Carl and Rebecca are my kids. They're our family.
"Might as well just let him go," Shane said from behind me. "You have me, Lori. You don't need him."
"You don't know what I need."
I walked off in search of Beth, again.
When I walked into the house I heard someone talking in the kitchen. I listened for a bit before walking in and finding Patricia and Andrea fixing lunch.
Patricia quickly picked up a tray and turned away from me and faced Andrea.
"I'm going to carry this to Beth. Can you make sure the others get plates," she asked.
"Yeah," Andrea shrugged.
"Patricia, I'll carry that to her," I said. She looked at me with a slightly panicked look.
"I don't think that's a good idea," she said.
I waited to leave until she came back to the kitchen.
Beth may not want to see or speak to me but we couldn't keep avoiding the situation.
I knocked and went inside without waiting. Beth was sitting up in bed crying. I felt bad for her but I wasn't sure what I should say.
"Come on, let's go take a walk," I said.
She stared up at me as if I had lost my mind and shook her head.
"Beth," I sat down next to her on the bed, "you need to hear me out. Rick and I have been together for a long time. I've tried to let him go and I'm going to try harder but I love him. You have to understand that we have a family together."
She continued to stare at me and shook her head again.
"Do you think I'm stupid, Lori? I can see right through you. I may not know everythin' but if there's one thing I do know, I'd rather have nothin' than to hold onto somethin' that just don't exist. I'd rather be lonely than try to force someone to love me."
I tried my best to bite my tongue and to not slap her.
"I don't think you're stupid, Beth," I managed, "but the way you talk sure makes you sound that way. You're a little girl, a child. You don't know a damn thing about love or life."
Rick-
After lunch, Patricia came out of the house and asked me to keep Lori away from Beth. They had a talk and from the sounds of it, Lori had upset Beth. I didn't doubt it. I was waiting for her to pull a stunt like this, to push Beth away but this is only the beginning.
Lori took Carl to the RV to study while Carol watched Rebecca. I took that as my chance to find Maggie so we could talk to Beth.
We both agree that she should be in Rebecca's life. Becca needs to know her real mother and we want to explain that to Beth.
"Rick," Maggie motioned for me to follow her through the house to Beth's room.
Her bedroom door was open but she wasn't in the bedroom.
Maggie went over to the bathroom door and raised her hand to knock when we heard the sound of glass breaking.
"Beth," Maggie shrieked and pounded on the bathroom door, "Beth, open the door!"
"Beth, open the door," I pleaded while Maggie searched for the key. When she found it she rushed over to unlock the door.
"Oh my God, Bethie," Maggie pulled her into a hug when she saw her wrist and led her to the bed. "I'm not mad," she whispered."
I sat there quietly until her wrist was bandaged and the room had cleared.
"What the hell were you tryin' to do, Beth?" I asked as I sat down next to her.
She turned away from me. "You wouldn't understand."
I reached up and cupped her face in both hands. "Try me."
Beth shook her head and started cryin'. She didn't say anythin' the rest of the night but I refused to leave her side, even when Hershel came to check on her.
The next mornin' Maggie brought her breakfast and sat with her so I could talk to Hershel.
This wasn't going to be easy but I prayed he'd understand.
I found Hershel right where Maggie said he'd be, in the dining room reading his Bible.
"It's the only thing that has remains the same," he said, looking up from the book, "my faith hasn't changed since this started but I see Beth's has. She used to be so full of hope and she had faith. She always saw the good in people but she's lost all of that since your group showed up here."
I pulled out a chair on the opposite side of the table and sat down.
"All of that, it's not because we're here," I said, "it's harder on her now because she has to try harder to hide everythin' from you. But what she did yesterday, we can't give up on her because of it. That's why I came in here, to tell you that I'm not leavin' her side. I don't care if you disapprove of me stayin' with her, it's gonna happen regardless."
I gave him time to process what I was sayin' so I stood and went into the livin' room.
When I came back, I sat the picture of Beth and Becca on the table in front of Hershel and took the picture I had of Becca out of my wallet and placed it next to the frame.
Hershel's hands clenched into fists as he stared at the pictures, then he stood and walked out of the room, I didn't follow him because I was sure he went to speak with her but then I heard the screen door shut.
Hershel had a hold of Beth's arm, leading her out to where our tents were set up, with Maggie following closely behind them.
"Lori," he shouted. She came out of the RV with Rebecca on her hip and the others followed.
I made it to them in time to hear him tell Beth to tell the truth.
Beth looked back at me with tears in her eyes and mouthed "I'm sorry". I nodded and stepped up behind her, putting a hand on her back as she turned to face Lori.
"Rebecca's mine," she said barely above a whisper.
Lori laughed, "What?"
"Rebecca is mine," she said a little louder, "she's mine."
Lori's face dropped and she passed Rebecca over to Carol.
"You stole my husband and now you're trying to take my daughter. You're sick! You can't just take what you want, when you want it," she shouted at Beth.
"I'm not tryin' to take her, Lori. She's mine," Beth cried, "I gave her up because I was ashamed of what I had done with Rick."
"Are you saying Rick is her father?" Lori asked in disbelief.
Beth nodded. "I never wanted to give either of them up but I had to. It didn't matter how much I loved them."
Lori huffed and tried to storm off but Carol and Andrea stopped her.
She held up her hand when Carol tried to hand Rebecca to her. "Just keep...keep her away from me," she told her and pushed passed them.
I started to move to get Rebecca but Hershel stepped forward and took her in his arms.
"Rick," he turned to me, "get her things and bring them inside to Beth's room where they belong. Get your things and your boys as well."
