Author's note: Sorry this chapter took me so long! Just so everyone knows, I am going to be starting a stand-alone fic of stuff that doesn't quite fit with the flow of this fic. It'll mostly be domestic fluff of them just hanging out in Kirkwall with no real plot because I wanted more of that but didn't want to mess up the pacing of this fic. For those familiar with it, it'll be similar to Worth the Risk so each chapter will be more-or-less standalone. So keep an eye out for it. It'll be called Mutual Domesticity


It was amazing how quickly they fell into a routine together. Of course they had shared Elden's quarters at Skyhold more often than not, but this felt different. They were actually living together, truly sharing space that only belonged to the two of them. It was nice after being apart so long. Elden had expected Dorian to grow bored of the simple life, as it were, but he seemed to be particularly enjoying their time together. He had his books and his research and now that they knew Solas' plans he had an idea where to start. Unfortunately, he had stopped reading Maevaris' letters from Tevinter, which worried Elden. He was able to gather that talks of a replacement for Dorian's father had been put more or less on hold for the time being, but Dorian was unwilling to discuss it further so for the moment Elden let it go.

Even as he enjoyed their routine, relaxing in the garden or in front of the hearth together, Elden was growing increasingly frustrated with himself. Their travels had drained him, and having to relearn even the simplest tasks now that he only had one arm was eating at his nerves. Varric had thought to send him the reconstruction plans for Lowtown, remembering how Elden had helped with the repairs to Skyhold, and that at least gave him something to occupy his time. He was actually pretty good at this sort of thing, making alterations to the current designs to make it safer as well as cheaper to construct. It was the only area he had excelled at during his studies back at Ostwick, but it wasn't enough. He still couldn't help but feel useless. He had been the Inquisitor not too long ago, and now he could barely hold the paper still with his left elbow while he drew. Everything took him more time than it ever should and it was so frustrating. What good was he like this? Would he ever be able to function properly again, or was this all he would ever be able to achieve?

Elden tried to push it all out of his mind, to try to make do. There was no replacing his hand, after all, but he still couldn't bring himself to look at it. It just hung there uselessly at his side like something foreign and unfamiliar, like it didn't belong to him anymore, and he could feel everything building up within him. He knew if he carried on like this he would eventually snap, and he couldn't. He just couldn't. He buried the anger and frustration like he always did, refusing to let himself feel any of it.

It was inevitable that he would eventually slip up. He kept reaching for things with a left hand that was no longer there, and as he did so now to lean against a table he stumbled, hitting the edge hard. He cursed, biting his cheek to try to stop himself from saying anything more.

"My my, I haven't heard you use language like that in some time." Dorian was suddenly there, moving to his side to help him up.

Elden didn't want to be helped. He jerked his arm out of Dorian's grip, then looked away guiltily.

"I'm sorry," he sighed. "It's just this fucking—" He stopped himself and shook his head. This wasn't helping anything. He needed to get a hold of himself.

"Go ahead," Dorian said. He didn't seem at all concerned by the outburst, but Elden still couldn't help the guilty heat rising in his face. "Stop trying to bury it all. You should be angry. You should be furious. You lost your arm. Lash out, you'll feel better."

"I can't," Elden said, turning away. He wanted to leave, to be alone until he could calm down, but Dorian stopped him.

"Why not?"

"I just—" Elden began. He didn't know what to say. He remembered his older brother, domineering and cruel and always angry. Elden never wanted to be like him. He never wanted to hurt anyone and he never wanted to cause anyone to flinch the way he had at his brother's rage. Eventually Elden had grown bigger than him but that didn't change anything. It just made Elden even more aware of how easy it would be for him to hurt or frighten someone. "That's not who I want to be," he finished lamely, unable to meet Dorian's gaze.

Dorian's eyebrows rose. "If you haven't noticed, I tend to yell a lot. What's the problem? What are you afraid of?"

"I don't want to lose you."

Dorian stared at him for a long moment before he actually started laughing. Startled, Elden could only stare, his face burning again with no idea what to say, and Dorian raised a placating hand.

"Sorry, sorry," Dorian said as he recovered. "Are you seriously worried you'll frighten me? I'm sorry, it's just—yes, you were the Inquisitor and you're very good at killing large amounts of people but you're not exactly a very threatening person. A least not to your allies." He reached out and gently tipped Elden's chin up so their eyes would meet. "You're many things, Elden, but you certainly aren't that. You're the farthest thing from it. So go ahead and feel free to shout. I'll let you know if your Inquisitor-ness is showing through and making me quiver in my boots. So talk to me. What's wrong?"

While he appreciated it, Elden still couldn't be angry. He didn't want to be angry. He was just so tired. "It's just frustrating," he admitted, leaning forward into Dorian's touch. "Everything is harder. Every time I think I'm doing better, something like this happens."

"Kaffas," Dorian cursed quietly, kissing his forehead. "Stop pushing so hard. You don't always have to do everything yourself. Give yourself time to heal."

"I'll always only have one hand, that's not going to change. I don't know what I'm supposed to do now. What I can do now."

"My understanding is that you're helping Varric immensely with the repairs."

"Is this it, then? Is that all I'll ever be able to do?"

"No, you weren't made to sit around with your nose in a book. You should go down to Lowtown and help with the construction."

Elden laughed bitterly. "What am I supposed to do with only one arm?"

"Really, Elden, even with one arm you're still stronger than most. Not the Guard-Captain, but I'm fairly certain she could arm wrestle a dragon and win. And even if you don't feel like getting your hands dirty you could at least make sure they are implementing your plans correctly. I couldn't make heads nor tales of your drawings and I doubt this hellhole of a city could produce anyone with your level of architectural knowledge. Particularly since the intelligent part of the population has long since left."

"I'm sorry, I keep doing this. I just— I don't know what to do with myself. I never expected to survive all this. I should have died so many times and I just never planned this far ahead."

"That's enough," Dorian said, wrapping his arms around his waist. "You're doing fine. You don't have to do anything right this second. Just help Kirkwall for now. If you feel like saving the world again later I'm sure something will fall into your lap. You're apparently good at attracting all sorts who want you to solve their problems for them."

Elden leaned forward, resting his forehead on Dorian's shoulder, clinging to him as if he was afraid of falling. "I suppose," he said doubtfully.

Dorian smoothed the hair away from Elden's forehead. "Right then, Varric and the others will be stopping by later tonight for a game of Wicked Grace. We can discuss it then. For now, how do you feel about putting a practice dummy in the garden?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Well, you haven't exactly been particularly active since we arrived and it is usually your go-to activity when there are no demons to bash. Besides, it's been a while since I watched you practice."

"Oh, I see how it is," Elden said with a little laugh. "You're just bored and you want me to put on a show."

"Can you blame me?" Dorian replied with a grin as he leaned in to kiss him.

Honestly, Elden was a little apprehensive about picking up a sword again. How would he manage without a shield? It was so ingrained into his fighting style that he could barely imagine going without. But Dorian was right. He was starting to get soft and he needed something to keep him moving.


Somehow Elden had talked Dorian out of accompanying him to the construction site despite how nervous he obviously was. After all, this was what Elden wanted to do, and what Dorian wanted to do was go through the missives that had just arrived from Divine Victoria. The Guard-Captain's men would be all over the area and it wasn't like he was going into the Deep Roads or anything, so Dorian had relented. This meant that he had spent most of the day staring out the window like a worried hen rather than actually getting much of anything done. It was rather pathetic. Dorian had, however, decided to at least show up at the end of the day just in case.

Lowtown was even worse than he had thought it would be from the brief view they had had on their ride in. Rubble still littered the streets and it was obvious the construction crew had their work cut out for them. Luckily they were fairly easy to locate. It was hard to miss all of the men and woman running around carrying stone and pulling on ropes and whatever else it was they were supposed to be doing. He caught sight of Elden walking around, supervising and giving instructions to the workers. Apparently Dorian had guessed correctly and they were indeed benefiting from Elden's insight. It always amused him how hesitant Elden always was to lead and yet when it came right down to it he would willingly do so if necessary. Dorian couldn't help but smile fondly as he watched Elden work.

He was shaken from his thoughts by a loud snap and the creak of wood as a rope holding up a pallet filled with slabs of stone nearly tipped its contents several stories onto the workers below. Dorian stepped forward, quickly summoning up his magic. He was ready to gently lower it all the ground, this city's fear of magic be damned, but Elden was quicker. He grabbed the remaining rope two workers were struggling to hold and heaved. Together he and the others were able to pull it back up to the higher platform where more workers were able to pull it back on solid ground.

Dorian sighed in relief and sagged against the building beside him. A proud smile tugged at his lips as he watched the workers cheer and slap Elden on the back. After that Elden started aiding the workers when needed, pulling ropes and lifting beams and whatever else he could manage. Even with one arm he was still managing to do the work of two men. Dorian leaned against a nearby building and just watched, feeling a swell of pride.

When they finally began wrapping up for the day, Elden went over to a table and joined a handful of men and women who were no doubt the other architects. The group pored over the charts for a time until they finally called it a day. As Elden gathered up his belongings he spotted Dorian and hurried over. He was grinning, hair mussed and shirt partly open, and Dorian couldn't help another fond smile of his own.

"Well done," Dorian said. "And I see you couldn't help but show off a little as well."

"What?" Elden asked.

"I'm not complaining. It's a very nice view."

Elden blushed scarlet until it crept to the tips of his ears in that adorable way it tended to, and Dorian grinned even wider.

"It was getting warm," he said sheepishly, quickly buttoning his shirt back up.

"Yes, well, I haven't seen you all day and I'd like to go somewhere where that view can be properly appreciated."

He took Elden's hand and the two of them began the walk back home. Home. Dorian had never truly thought about what that word truly meant, mostly because all his life he had been trying to get away from his own home, away from his family. What he had with Elden was different. This was what a home was truly supposed to be and he had no words for how right it all felt. It was so natural and easy.

He absently brought Elden's hand up to his lips as he listened to Elden talk about what they had been working on all day. It sounded like they had plenty more to do, but he could see the passion in Elden and knew without a doubt that this was what he needed to be doing. He looked so alive in a way he hadn't in a very long time, and Dorian was so proud of him. It felt like things were finally going right for a change. They were going to be fine.