Chapter Seven
"And let's not pretend that you have some sort of relationship with Lexie. Let's not pretend that you care about her." -Christina Yang
"I'm sorry about all of this."
Lexie sat crossed legged on the bed, still in her scrubs. She'd refused to put on the ugly hospital gown, but Meredith couldn't really blame her for that. It was hard enough wearing one when you were just another anonymous patient. But when you were surrounded by curious co-workers, the experience could be a little disheartening.
"It's my fault," Meredith still couldn't believe how naive she had been. "I'm the resident, I should've known better. And I should have called security as soon as I saw that guy."
Lexie pushed the thin blanket aside, then slowly laid back on the bed. She winced a little as her head hit the pillow. Meredith felt another stab of guilt.
"How are you feeling?"
Lexie closed her eyes, giving a pathetic thumbs up.
"I'm good."
"Tell me the truth, Dr. Grey."
That actually elicited the tiniest smile. For once, Lexie seemed happy to be caught in a lie. At least that meant that somebody cared.
"My head's still pounding," she said softly. "And now my hair smells like vomit again."
She'd thrown up twice already, much to her sister's dismay. Each symptom sent Meredith's mind into overdrive. She'd done way too many shifts with Derek in neuro.
"I think if I could just sleep for a little bit..." Lexie murmured. "I think I'd feel better then."
"Nice try." Meredith was sympathetic, but they'd been playing this game for almost an hour. "You know you have to stay awake. Besides, it shouldn't be much longer now."
Lexie didn't even bother to respond. There was no point. She'd already listed the many, many reasons why she needed the rest. That had eventually led to flat out begging, but Meredith was holding fast. She didn't want Lexie falling asleep, not until she'd heard from Derek.
He'd done an initial exam as soon as he'd arrived in the emergency room. Then he'd gone ahead and run the CT, all the while insisting that it was just a precaution. Lexie would be fine. Unfortunately, the Chief had grabbed Meredith right as they'd started the scan and by the time she'd returned, Derek had left, pulled away for an emergency consult. She was sure if something was truly, horribly wrong, he would have told her, but still... she couldn't help but worry.
"Meredith?"
Lexie still hadn't opened her eyes. The bright lights seemed to bother her, but Meredith refused to dim them. She wasn't going to make it any easier for her sister to nod off.
"I'm sorry about what I said," Lexie was mumbling, using her forearm to cover her face. "About our… my dad."
"Lexie, it's fine."
"He does, he does talk about you…" she continued on slowly, her exhaustion getting the better of her. "Sometimes, in the morning, when he's just waking up. He asks how you're doing, what you're like. But I never tell him anything."
That last part caught Meredith off guard. She had always assumed Lexie was going home to complain, to tell their father how awful Meredith could be. Surely, the girl needed somewhere to vent.
"You've never said anything?"
Lexie finally moved her arm and looked over at Meredith. She was probably wondering if this was a trap, if she was about to feel the wrath of Meredith Grey again.
"Lexie, it's okay either way," Meredith said carefully. The last thing she wanted was to make her feel bad. "I'm not angry, I'm just asking."
"I didn't think you'd want me to talk about you." Lexie shifted her gaze, wincing again as she tilted her head up. "I mean, he's not family, we're not family. You have a family here, I know that. And I didn't mean…" she stumbled over her words. "I didn't mean to make a mess of that."
"You didn't," Meredith grabbed the blanket and pulled it up over her. It was an automatic gesture, something she'd once done for her mom when she had been sick. "My life was a mess long before I ever met you."
"I don't believe it." Lexie was teasing her and now it was Meredith's turn to smile.
"Oh really?"
She stood up and went over to the window. The sun was just setting and everything was bathed in a beautiful, golden light. She wanted to stand there and appreciate it, but instead she closed the curtains. The overhead lights would stay on, but there was no sense adding to Lexie's discomfort.
"Do you want to start with my crazy mother?" Meredith asked, running down the long list of things that had made her a much bigger mess than Lexie ever could. "Or maybe the boyfriend who turned out to be married? Or how about the fact that I live in a house that's basically a glorified dorm?"
She waited to hear some reaction, but when she glanced back, Lexie was gone. Her eyes were closed and she was out cold.
"Lexie?" Meredith crossed the room quickly, wondering if she was messing around. "Lexie?"
But the girl didn't move.
"Lexie, wake up."
Meredith shook her then hurriedly felt for her pulse. Everything seemed normal, but they hadn't attached any monitors yet. And she still hadn't seen the results of those scans. For all she knew, Lexie's brain could be bleeding.
"Come on, Lex…"
She shook her again. Still nothing. Meredith was ready to kill Derek now. Where the hell was he? And what the hell was going on with her sister?
"Lexie?" She leaned in a little closer, hoping against hope that she'd open her eyes. "Lexie, wake up!"
She clapped her hands right beside the girl's ear.
"Wake! Up!"
"What?!"
Just like that, Lexie jolted awake. She sat straight up, then immediately grabbed at her head as the pain came rushing back.
"Meredith!"
"Oh thank god..." Meredith muttered under her breath. Lexie didn't seem nearly as relieved. The poor girl looked absolutely miserable as she stared at her sister.
"Sorry," Meredith put a hand on her shoulder and eased her back towards the bed. "But you really have to stay awake, just until we talk to Derek."
"Meredith..."
"I'm serious."
"But he would have told me..." Lexie tried again, sounding all the more pitiful. "If I couldn't go to sleep, he would have told me."
"Maybe not," Meredith knew this was hard on her, but still, she wasn't going to take any chances. "So you're staying up for now."
She was starting to feel more and more like a parent… which was weird. This wasn't even her intern. And yes, yes, she reminded herself, Lexie was her sister. And maybe that would mean something to the rest of the world. Maybe all those lovely people with siblings out there would know what to do, would know the right way to worry and the right items to buy down at the gift shop. But all Meredith could think to do was keep Lexie awake. And even that was proving difficult.
"Meredith, I'm tired." Lexie rolled over and buried her face in her blankets. "I was up all night and the night before that."
"You're a doctor," Meredith poked her gently. "Get used to it."
"Get used to what?"
Meredith's head shot up as Derek entered the room. He flashed her a smile, but before he could say another word, Meredith pounced on him. She'd been waiting and waiting and now her anxiety was mixed with annoyance.
"Where the hell have you been?" She grabbed his arm and yanked him towards the wall, dropping her voice to a whisper. "I paged you twenty minutes ago!"
Derek was clearly in a good mood today. He didn't pull away or rebuke her. If anything, he was cheerful.
"I already told you she'd be okay." It was true. He'd stated those exact words-twice. "The CT was just a precautionary measure."
"So why didn't you give me the results earlier?"
"Because you were busy and I had a consult." He held up an envelope full of scans. "But now I'm back and I can tell you again. She's fine."
"She doesn't look fine," Meredith insisted.
His calm tone was throwing her off and she suddenly felt the need to justify her concerns, because otherwise... otherwise it seemed like she was just going crazy. She was a doctor. She wasn't supposed to care this much, not unless something was actually wrong.
"She's thrown up twice," Meredith was ready with a full report. "She's got a splitting headache, the light is practically killing her and she keeps falling asleep."
"I'm tired," Lexie had overheard that last part. "You keep waking me up."
"She's got a concussion." Derek reached down to the bed and touched Lexie's leg. It was a sweet gesture, the kind he reserved for his favorite patients. "You've got a concussion, Dr. Grey."
Lexie barely seemed to care at this point, so he wisely shifted his attention to Meredith. She was eyeing him warily, waiting to hear the rest of the story.
"Look, there's no skull fracture, no subdural hematoma." He handed her the scans, knowing full well that she'd check them herself. "She just needs some rest."
Lexie was already taking care of that part. She'd finally found a comfortable position and now she was curled up, hugging one of her pillows. But Meredith wasn't ready to give up just yet.
"You swear there's not more?"
"It's a concussion," he assured her. "That's not great, but it could have been a lot worse."
"So you're saying she can go to sleep now?" Meredith was watching her carefully. "There's no danger?"
"Let her sleep."
"You're positive?"
"Yes, I'm positive." Derek leaned forward until their eyes met. "Lexie's gonna be fine."
She's gonna be fine…
Meredith repeated those words to herself once, then twice. All of her muscles felt tight as if she'd been holding her breath all this time. But now, finally, she could begin to relax.
A concussion. She could handle a concussion. A concussion meant that Lexie would go back to being a silly, rambling intern, now complete with a badass story. And Meredith… Meredith could go back to being just another resident. She didn't have to play the supportive older sibling, didn't have to sit frantically in the waiting room while Lexie went into surgery.
Meredith sighed. She's gonna be fine…
"You were really scared, weren't you?"
Derek's face broke into a smile. He seemed to find this cute, her fretting over Lexie. She'd just spent several hours talking to doctors and cops, making reports, watching over Christina's intern to make sure she didn't die. And he found it amusing.
"No, don't do that." She gently pushed him into the hallway, making sure the door didn't slam as they left. "You don't get to do that. You don't get to joke around just because I was worried."
"I'm not joking around." Derek folded his arms in front of him, his smile still firmly in place. "It's nice to see you care about Lexie."
"Derek, I just watched a guy slam her head into a reinforced window." Meredith smacked him with the envelope he had given her. "I'm not a monster. I would've been just as worried if it was Izzie, or-or Steve."
"Who the hell's Steve?"
Meredith was trying so hard to be mad at him. But his utter bewilderment was making that hard. She finally cracked a smile as Derek started to laugh.
"Seriously, have I met this guy?"
She suddenly remembered that she'd left him down there, left Intern Steve with poor Mrs. Jenkins. She should have been worried, but instead the image just made her giggle. That sweet little old lady, berating him about his supposed fear of blood.
"Oh god…"
It felt good now, to finally exhale. This day had been such an utter disaster. She could barely remember how it had started. She gave herself a moment to recover, to feel like her old self. And then she turned and looked back through the window.
"So, she's really okay?"
She could see Derek nodding in the reflection. She trusted him, trusted his skills as a doctor, but more importantly she trusted him. And if he had cleared Lexie... Meredith bit her lip then finally handed the scans back to Derek.
He seemed genuinely surprised.
"You don't want to check them yourself?"
"No," she shook her head. "I have faith in you."
His surprise slowly shifted to happiness. Trust wasn't something Meredith gave away easily.
"Good, I'm glad."
He stepped up behind her, putting one hand around her waist. It was sweet how much he cared, about her and about the sister she still wasn't sure what to do with.
"Lexie's gonna be fine," he said it one last time. "I'm not sure she'll even remember what happened, not completely."
"Well that's good."
Meredith did remember, she recalled every single detail. The broken furniture scattered all over the trauma room, the sound of Lexie's head hitting the glass…
"Then she won't be able to testify when I murder that guy."
"Nice." Derek kissed her on the cheek. "I'm in love with a homicidal maniac."
"I don't think I'm a maniac if the homicide's justifiable."
"Maybe not," he agreed.
Meredith's smile spread to a grin as she turned and placed her arms around his neck. And then she leaned in and kissed him. It was the kind of kiss that was frowned upon in the hallways of a hospital, but Meredith didn't care. She deserved it after a day like today.
"I'm gonna miss this tonight," Derek brushed her hair out of her face as they parted.
"Why tonight?"
"Well you're staying with Lexie, aren't you?"
"Why would I stay with Lexie?" Meredith arched an eyebrow, assuming he was teasing her all over again. "You just said she was fine. I was going to call someone to take her home."
She started to lean in for another kiss, but Derek pulled back.
"Meredith, we're keeping her here overnight."
"What?"
So much for their big, romantic moment. Meredith let go of him then glanced back at Lexie.
"You're going to admit her for a concussion?"
The general protocol was to send patients home if at all possible. There were plenty of other people waiting for beds. If Lexie wasn't in any serious danger... she gestured at the window towards her sleeping little sister.
"You said she was fine," Meredith reminded him. "Just now, you said she was fine. And the Chief-"
"Richard approved this decision." Derek straightened. Ugh... he was calling him Richard again. She wasn't sure she'd ever get used to their weird little friendship. "Meredith, this incident happened on hospital grounds. If nothing else, it's a huge liability-"
"Seriously?" Meredith bristled. "You're keeping her here to cover your asses?"
"No, the lawyers are keeping her here to cover our asses," Derek smiled again, seemingly charmed by her outburst. "We're keeping her here because she's one of our doctors. And I want to make sure she's in the very best hands."
Meredith took a step back. She still wasn't convinced.
"So that really means she has to stay here by herself?"
That option didn't seem all that great to her either. But Derek's smile actually grew, as if he had this all figured out.
"Well that's why I thought you might want to stay with her."
Of course you did...
Meredith put her hands on her hips. She knew she should have seen this coming. Derek had spent weeks pressuring her to get to know Lexie better and now he saw a prime opportunity.
"Meredith, she's your sister."
He slowly spun her towards the window again. Lexie was still dead asleep, her knees pulled up close to her chin.
"She's your sister."
People kept saying that, as if those few words might make her feel different, as if they might cause some huge, life-altering flood of emotions to wash over her.
"You just spent all this time worrying about Lexie. Are you really going to tell me you can shut that off now?"
Meredith sighed. If only it was that easy.
"Derek, I barely know her."
"Well now's your chance to fix that."
"But that's not fair," Meredith could feel her heart beating just a little bit faster. She wasn't ready for this, not any of it. But fate just kept tugging her along anyway.
"Just because Lexie got hurt and just because I got scared, that doesn't mean that we're bonded for life. You can't admit her just to force us to talk."
"Okay then," Derek began to rub her shoulders, trying a different approach. "Where do you suggest I send her? Someone's gonna have to check on her through the night, just to be safe. You think her father is capable of that?"
Meredith knew he had her on that one. That man could barely take care of himself, let alone Lexie.
She racked her brain for someone, anyone, who could watch over her sister. Of course, this was the week that George had gone on vacation. He would have been perfect. She wasn't exactly thrilled that he and Lexie had become close, but at least it would have helped out in this situation.
"What about Alex?" The words flew out of her mouth before she could stop them. "They're... friends."
"Alex Karev?"
Derek was staring at her in disbelief. Meredith had to admit, it wasn't her best idea ever.
"You'd rather trust your sister to Alex Karev?"
"No," Meredith dropped her head in embarrassment. "Maybe not."
She considered the other interns for a split second, but after witnessing their semi-pathetic skills and utter flakiness today, they didn't seem like prime candidates either. She glanced over at Derek.
"There's really no one else who can stay with her?"
"The Chief called her emergency contact-"
"Molly!" For once a name popped into her brain. "Yes, where's Molly?"
"He's not sure. He just got her voicemail," Derek dashed her hopes almost immediately. "But the last time Lexie mentioned her, she was on some base overseas with her husband."
And there went that...
Meredith hated the idea of staying here overnight. But what she hated even more was the fact that Lexie didn't seem to have one single other person in the world to look after her. She must have had friends in Seattle at some point. She'd grown up here. But they'd probably long since scattered. And now the girl was left with a drunk father, some not especially nice co-workers...
And Meredith Grey.
"So you stayed?"
Dr. Wyatt's voice broke into her thoughts.
"What?"
Meredith blinked. Somehow she'd gotten lost in her own story. That memory was so incredibly vivid. It had seemed more real than her therapist's office. The touch of Derek's hand, the sound of Lexie's quiet breathing as they'd finally let her sleep. Meredith had been right back there, if only for a few minutes. But now Dr. Wyatt had ripped her out of that place.
"I'm sorry," She rubbed her tired eyes and glanced back at the doctor. "I didn't catch that last part."
"You stayed?" Dr. Wyatt set her pen in the crease of her notebook. "With Lexie, you stayed that night?"
She was staring at Meredith, waiting for confirmation. Of course she'd just assumed that Meredith had stepped up. Lexie had been hurt and left all alone in the hospital. Wasn't that always the turning point of a story? Something terrible happened and suddenly you re-prioritized everything. You saw what was important, had the epiphany.
But Meredith's stories didn't have moments like that. There were no epiphanies, no happy endings.
"No," she shook her head, wishing so much that her answer was different. "I did what I always did with Lexie."
The surprise registered on the doctor's face as Meredith shrugged sadly.
"I walked away."
And that's chapter seven... I know a few of you were probably expecting some big medical story, but I kind of liked the idea that Meredith was worried even though Lexie didn't seem to be in any mortal danger. She's concerned, and probably even overreacting a little, because this is her sister and she's starting to care. The next chapter will continue this flashback, so stay tuned.
Also, a few of you have asked where Mark fits into this tale. He does pop up later, I promise. I know Lexie and Mark stories are popular (for good reason, I loved them as a couple too!) and this story might have more readers if there was more of him in it. But I think he comes in when the timing is right. For now, he's mourning off on his own. But you'll see him, don't worry. :)
Review if you'd like... love hearing from you guys!
