The Baby Files.

Author's note: "And, I'm back with The Baby Files. Okay, the 'who this baby is' thing is coming soon! You must all be excited! BE EXCITED! NOT HERE TO DISCRIMINATE ANYONE!"

Enjoy!

Dedicated to: DevilWriterN.

(T)

~Silver.


Chapter 7

New class, new mishaps, old news.

"Dante! I found a parenting class!" Lady yelled as she ran up the stairs.

"What?"

"I said, I've found a parenting class."

"You've found a hernia exam?" Dante said as he removed one of his headphone from his ears.

"I SAID I FOUND A PARENTING CLASS!" Lady yelled, making Dante jump up.

"Great, any women?" Dante asked, receiving a small hit on the head with the newspaper Lady was currently holding.

"Sicko." Lady said, she placed the newspaper on the bed and left, stomping down the stairs and out the doors of Devil May Cry. Dante went down, thinking he could apologize, then saw the baby had totally ripped up his sleeping pillow.

"Kid! I sleep on that pillow!"

The baby laughed and started to throw the feathers in the air.

"Yeah, yeah, it's a winter wonderland." Dante said sourly.

The baby laughed. Waving at Dante happily. Dante swooped him up and walked to the new parenting class. The building was a sky line type, it had lots of windows on one side, and the Colour of it was white, the sign was pink, it said 'Parenting Steps'.

'Okay, this seems promising.' Dante said, he took a deep breath and walked in baby in hand. He went to the clerks, who was a man in his twenties, he was the 'tall, dark and handsome type.' "Hey, dude, Name is Dante, my friend signed me up for this thing."

"Oh, of course, right this way Dante." He said in a happy voice.

'Friendly guy' Dante thought. This time, he got his A game, he was going to get a women number, even if it was the last thing he would do! As soon as he entered the room, there were no woman, but men! Dante kept his mouth wide opened, losing all weight of the baby, almost dropping him. He snapped out of his shocked state and gripped the baby tightly before his head hit the cream colored floor.

The room was big, the smell was of men's cologne, the floor was cream colored, speckled with black spots. Windows were opposite each other, and men surrounded the area. Dante gulped and started to make his way through the room, gulping down some spit. He smelt the men's cologne, the baby didn't seem to enjoy being here either, Dante had to hold him tight so they wouldn't have another 'incident', men are more tougher than women, and he doesn't want to know what kind of dogs they have here neither!

Dante sat down, next to a couple of lanky men, one had brown hair and the other blond, he wished they were both women, Dante sighed, the baby still wanted to squirm out of his grasp, but it was all in vain as Dante kept tightening his grip. "Kid, stop squirming!" Dante hissed to the baby.

"Now, fathers. I am Mr. Gregory, I am saying this, 'cause we have a new student, please give him some claps, oh please stand up Dante!" He said in a high pitched voice, which almost made Dante laugh out loud.

Dante got up, and got some strange look from a couple of men at the back, almost as if they were checking him out and winking at their nearby buddies. Dante shrugged it off, the baby continued to squirm and struggle.

"Well, then, sit down, Do any of you have difficulties you want to share?" The man said, flailing his arms.

Dante raised his hand slowly, again, the men at the back were now, giggling silently.

He just cocked an eyebrow at them both, why where they acting like that?

"Yes, Dante."

"Feeding, changing and putting up with... stop struggling!" Dante said as he was keeping the baby in place.

"Okay!" The man said and started explaining.

As soon as the 'lesson' was over, the man told him exactly what the old woman told him and he still can't get it! "This was a big waste of time kid!" He said to the baby. Who just seemed, to have given him a death glare. "Stop looking at me like that squirt."

"Hey, Dante" A man said to him. "Name is Mark, I have to say, I love your patience with the child. You are a great father."

"Yeah, I just scream perfection..." He said dully.

"Well, Dante.. you are a great man." Mark told him.

"Thanks. You too.." Dante said, "Nice guy..." He said to the kid when Mark left.

"Hey Dante, I'm Sam, you are one strong man." Sam said as he placed a hand on his muscle.

"Thanks, I work out."

"It shows." He said and left.

"Dante, hello, my name is Francis. I simply love your hair, it is stylish!"

"Thanks! Yeah, I use head and shoulders. Great shampoo!"

"I know!" Francis said.

"Dante, hello. My name is Neko, I simple love you, How's about you come over to my house on Saturday night?" Dante looked at him, then Neko came and whispered in his ear. Dante got wide eyed, he grabbed the baby and ran out there, knocking out every teacher, landed in the dessert cart after slipping on a banana peel, which caused them and the baby to be covered in icing. He grabbed the baby and ran home.

"Lady will pay for this!" He said screaming in the wind.

At Devil May Cry, Lady was waiting for Dante, who seemed to be urgent on the phone, she had just finished posting up the flyers. Wonder what Dante could want?

The doors of Devil May Cry swung open, Dante stood there, baby in hand, looking angry.

"What's wrong with you?"

"What?! You ask what!?" He yelled, putting the baby carefully down on the couch. He went in front of Lady and started yelling. "That class was for GAY men! WHY DID YOU DO THAT! I GOT HIT ON!"

"I'm sorry! It didn't say!"

"geez Lady! You say I'm bad!"

"You are bad! You went in a class for beginner mums! You are not a mother!"

"Shut up! Again! I didn't see the sign!"

"Fine, look, I posted up a new set of flyers, it was easy without junior there."

"Leon!"

"What?"

"I named him Leon, I don't know, I panicked when the teacher asked for his name." Dante said.

"Whatever, they're up everywhere in the city, it would take a blind man to not see them."

"Great! Now what?" Dante asked.

"Now.... we wait."

Dante groaned, waiting was not his favorite game, as he always lost, he didn't have the patience or sanity.

Dante sat down on his chair and read a magazine while he waited....


A/N: MWHAAHA, DIE DANTE!

Remember, not here to discriminate anyone, enjoy this chapter.

Next Chapter: Mystery almost un fogged.... almost...

~Silver