Title: Heaven Beside You

Chapter 7: Pale Shelter

Disclaimer: I don't own Star Ocean

A/N: As always, thanks to everyone who has reviewed! I hope to hear from all of you in the future, because if nobody reviews, I get very, very sad (no pressure, right? XD). A big thank you also goes out to everyone who's reading this story, since I love to watch my little hit counter go higher!

On to the chapter explanation. Reading this chapter over, I realize that parts of it probably sound like a theory paper, and the only reason I can give is that I'm currently in essay writing mode. The rest is the result of sleep deprivation, stress, and a really strange bit of scribbles in a notepad that I just couldn't throw away.

ooooo

As usual, after every time they had seemed to get closer, Albel backed off. Even now he walked a safe distance away from Fayt, and the boy stayed well behind him. He needs time to think. That's all. No sense in pressuring him, it wouldn't work anyway. The man was a challenge, but when approached properly, Fayt knew that the reward for his patience would be great.

But Albel's behavior was the least of his worries. Slowing to a stop, Fayt raised his head and gazed up into the sky. Fluffy flakes of snow were floating leisurely around him, collecting in his hair and peppering his coat with speckles of white. The higher they climbed, the colder it had gotten and the snow was not melting as it normally would have at a lower elevation. Fayt shook himself and smiled inwardly. It was good to feel something, even if it was bitter cold. Anything was better than the chill of nonexistence. Of course there were many things which were significantly nicer than being cold, like remaining close to the one you love. With this in mind, Fayt hurried to catch up to the brooding man who was currently expending every effort to ignore him.

After several minutes had elapsed, it had started to snow harder, and with increased winds the weather was quickly becoming violent, but Albel had not shown any sign of halting their excursion for a weather delay. Despite his warm outer coat, Fayt was shivering and his teeth chattered noisily. The storm continued to rage on around them, and the cold wind was making it hard to breathe. With every inhalation, cold air filled his lungs, freezing him from the inside out, and chilling his blood as it circulated through him.

Before too long, Fayt's body had become numb with cold and he was beyond tired. Every step forward was a challenge while the wind fought against him and held him back. With little choice, he squinted his eyes against the wind and driving snow which whipped against his face. Painful sleet assaulted his tender skin, and Fayt clamped his eyes shut, effectively walking blind. When he dared to crack one eye open, just a slit actually, he was able to find Albel's familiar form not too far ahead of him in the snowy desolation.

Unlike Fayt, he was showing no signs of weakness. Albel walked with his head held high, as if the wind and sharp snow didn't bother him, even though he was also feeling it's effect. Well aware of his responsibility, Albel knew he had to remain strong. Fayt was weak, and unaccustomed to the fury of the winter storms which came and went in Airyglyph. The boy had been pampered for much of his life, so it was somewhat unfair to blame him and Albel really didn't hold it against the younger man. It just meant that he was now responsible for both of their lives, and in some ways this thought excited him.

Once again he was using his strength to prove his mastery over the younger Fayt but he couldn't stop the fear of failure from creeping into his thoughts. Tiny fists of doubt battered his calm confidence, and he became aware of the fact that his abilities might not be enough to save them both. Of course this feeling was not new to him.Albel knew he was not immune to failure, but he had worked long and hard to prove to others that he was. While most people were easily convinced, it really didn't matter since they were nothing but worthless fools in his eyes. So he could impress the ignorant. It was not something to be proud of, nor did it prove that he was everything he claimed to be.

Whatever the case, he would survive, there was no question of that, but Fayt could easily succumb to the elements. Even now the boy was not fairing well. Fayt was struggling in the deep drifts of snow, fighting against the strong winds and nearly killing himself in an effort to appear stronger than he was.

In a rare act of compassion, Albel slowed his pace and allowed his young companion to catch up, just enough so that his body would shield Fayt from the wind and snow. Next, he adjusted his stride and placed his feet carefully, brushing snow to the side as he plowed through the snowdrifts and cleared a path which would be at least a little easier for Fayt to walk through. Whether Fayt noticed these little concessions, Albel would probably never know, nor did he care. If anything, it would be better if Fayt remained unaware of the secret help his reserved companion provided him with.

Normally, Albel would never condone such a clear display of weakness, but Fayt was a special case. Had it been any of his other underlings who had been impeding their progress, he would have left them behind without a second thought. One weak link could endanger an entire unit of men, but this time it was just the two of them, and the silently trudging presence behind him was no ordinary underling, but the savior of their universe.

It was none other than Fayt Leingod, the Embodiment of Destruction himself, who was floundering at Albel's heels like a bumbling child. The same boy who had overpowered and defeated him long ago was now dependent on his care and protection. Knowing that Fayt needed him, and was actually relying on him made Albel feel that much stronger. That feeling of superiority alone was almost reason enough to keep the boy alive and by his side, but there was something else which was driving him.

Albel actually liked knowing that Fayt was around, much to his dismay, and the blue-haired boy's familiar presence provided him with stability, which was something he had not had in a long time. In the past, he would roam aimlessly, searching for stronger and fiercer opponents. Power, strength and control; These were the things which he valued and respected in others.

He had sought an equal, or perhaps a superior, and he had found Fayt, who was potentially the most powerful entity in the universe. Albel no longer had to search for the ultimate opponent because that person willingly followed him. Fayt was his constant companion, ready to support him in all things, and he felt compelled to return the favor.

It was almost comical, at least in a sad way, that he had been searching for one who could defeat him, anyone who would prove what he secretly believed in his heart, that he was weak and undeserving of life. After he was defeated, he would be killed, and Albel had long prepared himself for that eventuality, even as he exuded confidence in his abilities. But then he had met his match in Fayt and things had become confusing again. Their bond had originally been that of predator and prey, but when Fayt defeated him, everything changed.

Though he claimed otherwise, the truth was that he owed his life to the younger man. Fayt could have killed him, and the rules of battle demanded that the boy should have killed him, but Albel knew now that Fayt followed his own path, and the only rules he obeyed were spawned from his strange concepts of right and wrong which sometimes seemed to be based solely on emotion.

There was no place for mercy on the battlefield, but Fayt was merciful and he still did not suffer from any negative consequences. In retrospect, Albel had to admit that the decision had been a wise one. Perhaps someday he would ask Fayt why. What had the boy seen in him that he believed was worth saving? Fayt and the others had killed Shelby after all, so it wasn't just a matter of being averse to taking lives. Was it pity? Sympathy? Respect? Did Fayt spare him because he was strong, or weak? He called me weak then, but I suspect he was only trying to prove a point, rather than saying how he truly felt.

Before he could become trapped in his looping thoughts of pride and doubt, Albel's attention was drawn back toward the focus of his reflection.

"Where are we going, Albel and why are we still going up instead of down? I admire your dedication to duty," Fayt mumbled sarcastically, "but this is ridiculous."

Instead of becoming angry at such blatant mockery, Albel held his tongue and proceeded to answer Fayt with utmost seriousness. "It's too late to head back now, fool. There's a cave not too far where we can ride out the storm, and it is closer than heading all the way back to town. This is nothing. It will get worse before it gets better, so it is safer to take shelter now than risk getting lost, or worse, on the way down the mountain."

So he's not just being stubborn. I should have known better. Fayt grew quiet again and continued to move doggedly through the snow, but even with Albel's body as a shield he was still having trouble.

A soft, yet painful moan from Fayt caused Albel to turn his head around in alarm. Fayt's eyes were closed and as he stumbled, his body fell forward and sagged against Albel's back. Numb fingers attempted to close upon the older man's garments in a feeble attempt to stay upright, but they were unwilling to do as they were told. His fingers were quickly dislodged and Fayt tumbled down face first into the snow.

"We don't have time for that, fool!" Albel admonished him angrily. To struggle was one thing, but to flat out fall was another. "Get up!" Albel commanded as he reached his hand down to drag Fayt back up onto his feet.

Fayt raised his tired head to look at Albel and the other man was shocked by the sheer misery which was now spreading across the boy's usually happy countenance. What worried him even more was seeing that the boy's lips were starting to match his hair. They had changed from the familiar soft pink to a pale blue as the blood drained from Fayt's extremities to protect the vital organs. Although he was clearly in pain, Fayt managed to shoot Albel a brief smile to thank him for his assistance and the swordsman's cold heart nearly melted with pity.

"Are you able to continue?" Albel asked suddenly, well aware that it wouldn't make a difference whether he could or not. They really didn't have a choice in the matter, but if Fayt answered his question the wrong way, it would definitely hurt his opinion of the boy.

"I haven't got a choice," was Fayt's weak reply, and it mirrored Albel's own thoughts. "But, please, don't inconvenience yourself for my sake. I don't want any special treatment. I can do this, all right?"

And he dares to call me stubborn, Albel thought with satisfaction and he even smiled faintly. Fayt's determination never ceased to amaze him. Fayt took care of himself, at least he tried to, and Albel couldn't help but respect that. The ones he truly hated were those who refused to try, the ones who would not do anything for themselves and the ones who relied on the benevolence of others to make their lives easier. These were the kinds of maggots he was charged with protecting and it infuriated him to no end. The whole kingdom, hell, the whole planet was filled with spineless vermin who expected everything to be given to them without ever lifting a finger. But Fayt was different.

"Stay close, worm. If you fall again in this blizzard, I won't come looking for you, understand?"

"I wouldn't expect you to Albel. Take care of yourself first. Worrying about me will only get us both killed." Isn't that your greatest fear? That concerning yourself with someone else's welfare will put your own life in jeopardy? Or maybe it's more complicated than that . . .

Albel nodded, as if Fayt's response had pleased him, but he was slightly bothered by the concession. If Fayt had become too weak to protest, then things were perhaps worse than he had initially believed. As the storm worsened, Albel became increasingly worried that Fayt would falter again but the boy was true to his word and managed to stay upright and proceed forward, albeit slowly.

ooooo

As he walked forward, Albel's vision was constantly obscured by a blur of white as snow was driven around them but eventually, by virtue of straining his eyes, he saw a dark spot in the blinding whiteness. It was the mouth of the cave he had been seeking and the sight couldn't have been more welcome.

"We're here, fool." Coiling a hesitant arm around Fayt's shoulders, the older man guided him toward their salvation and Fayt followed meekly, knowing that Albel's strength would get them through.

Once inside the cave, Fayt collapsed into a shivering ball of misery and exhaustion. He was so cold that it hurt. Fingers, toes, nose, ears, all of which had gone numb from the cold and were now burning with pain, but the pain was a welcome sensation because it meant that his nerves were still alive with feeling and he would not have to deal with the problem of frostbite.

While Fayt huddled against the side of the cave wall, Albel got to work and prepared to light a fire using what he could find in Fayt's travel pack. He found the boy's lighter, and then looked for something which would make suitable kindling. When nothing presented itself, he tore open the inner layer of his coat and removed some of the insulation and arranged the material in a small heap on the cave floor. After a brief, worried, glance over at Fayt, Albel confirmed that the boy was indeed still breathing, and he turned his concentration to the task at hand. The small spark from the lighter ignited the down from his coat and before long, Albel had a small flame. Once it was lit, all he needed was fuel. Without hesitation, he tossed in Fayt's travel bag. Whatever they had now, they would either use or leave, so there was no reason to keep something for transport. With nothing left to do, Albel took a seat by the fireside and proceeded to warm himself.

Roused by the flickering light of the fire against the cave wall, Fayt managed to stumble over and crouch down beside it, huddling closer in order to benefit as much as he possibly could from the warmth it gave off. But something about him seemed to displease Albel who didn't waste any time before telling Fayt exactly what was on his mind.

"Take your clothes off."

"What!" Fayt gawked at the other man, as if he couldn't believe what he had just heard. Surely Albel didn't want him to get naked. Not that I would really mind . . .

"They're wet! If you don't take them off, you'll get a chill and I refuse to take care of you if you get sick due to your own stupidity. Take my advice or not, it's your choice, fool."

"And what about you? How come you get to stay dressed?"

"Because I wasn't foolish enough to stumble into a snowbank. Your covered in snow and it's starting to melt!"

"Fine." Fayt began to undress slowly, and as he removed them, he laid each article of clothing beside the fire where it would dry. Things continued at a good pace until he reached his underwear. The simple pair of boxer shorts were soaked and flattened to his skin and he had to admit that the sensation was extremely uncomfortable. Glancing at Albel, his eyes asked the unspeakable.

"Take them off, worm." Albel asserted sternly. "It's for your own good. You're not shy, are you? Surely you have nothing to be embarrassed about. I'm sure your father didn't hesitate to mess with some of your other genes while implanting the destruction one." The older man smirked with malicious glee at Fayt's discomfort and his eyes unknowingly burned with the desire to see just exactly what his companion was like underneath those complicated clothes.

"At any rate, we're both mature adults and believe me, it's nothing I haven't seen before."

Faty nearly pointed out just how bad that sounded but thought better of it. "Your right, Albel. It's just like the changing room in gym class, or even the showers afterwards. Except I was never alone with anyone . . . let alone someone who makes me feel so . . . As his thoughts continued, Fayt felt a new sensation assaulting his lower extremities and it wasn't the discomfort of wet clothing. Horrified, Fayt quickly thought of the most disgusting thing imaginable to keep his mind out of the proverbial gutter. In fact, the thought which crossed his mind at that moment defied description. It was that bad. One can only wonder, and many could guess, but the likelihood of such a thought ever being repeated by another person is slim to none.

With the crisis avoided, Fayt shook his head to clear it, but before he started to peel off his last line of defence, his hidden thoughts slipped past his brain and spilled from his mouth with a sigh. "Why can't I help feeling like I'm in some kind of bad porn movie . . . " Fayt had only been muttering absently to himself, but Albel overheard him.

"Porn? What's porn?" Such a strange word. It rolled off his tongue pleasantly enough, surely it wasn't a bad thing. Albel had learned about 'movies' before, but this was something new. As much as he hated to admit his ignorance, curiosity begged him to increase his knowledge about Fayt's world and language. But there was something odd about the way Fayt was blushing as he said that word so casually . . .

"Erhm, you weren't supposed to hear that. Forget I said anything." Fayt mumbled.

But Albel could not just forget something like that, especially when Fayt was trying so hard to avoid an explanation. The mere mention of that word seemed to make the boy squirm uncomfortably and Albel had to admit that it was pleasing to the eyes.

"You realize that withholding information from me is not an option. Right, worm?" Albel purred deviously as he flexed his metallic claws, causing them to glisten in the firelight.

"Aw, come on Albel, it's not that important. Really!"

Albel shook his head. "I must know what our situation has to do with this new word. What exactly is the relation?"

"Fine!" Fayt huffed. "A porn movie is-- you know what a movie is, right? Moving pictures and all that?"

Albel nodded.

"And you know that some movies are funny, those are comedies. There are ones about love stories or romances, and then there are ones about, uh, lust . . . " Fayt was beginning to fidget nervously, clearly uncomfortable, which only heightened Albel's interest.

"Well . . . a porn movie is one which shows two . . . or more . . . people being ah . . . intimate with each other . . ." Fayt heaved a relieved sigh and looked at his companion to see if his rather vague description had been satisfactory.

"But isn't there intimacy in a love story as well?" Albel interjected with genuine curiosity and an undeniable justification for doing so.

"Right . . . " Fayt agree cautiously. "But this is different."

"How so?"

"They only show people having sex, Albel, all right? Then other people can watch it. Does that explanation work for you?"

"They actually make such things?" Albel asked in disbelief. What a novel concept. When Fayt nodded in confirmation, Albel's eyes glazed over as he fell into deep concentration. "How curious . . . " Albel's mind drifted slowly back to the statement which had prompted their little discussion, and was appalled by his findings. "So what the hell makes this feel like one of your 'porn' movies?"

Fayt's face turned a newly invented, and previously untested shade of red as he answered. "Well you see . . . most of the films have really bad plots, if any, involving absurd situations. They're kind of contrived, you know? So when you're sitting over there demanding I take my clothes of, it just seemed really, ah, strange that's all. Especially since we're alone, in a cave. There's no one around for miles, anything could happen and nobody would ever know. I'm almost naked, and you have to wander around in those damned provocative clothes which leave nothing to the imagination . . . " And at that moment, Fayt realized that he had gone too far. He braced himself for Albel's heated reply, but none came. Instead, the other man looked thoughtful and even somewhat confused.

"But Fayt, you're not a woman, and neither am I for that matter. What makes you think that anything like that would happen between us?" Then again, I've never been attracted to women . . . and Fayt is . . . For the second time that day, Albel's hungry eyes wandered over Fayt's form, visually devouring the younger man. Oh gods . . .

Unaware of Albel's train of thought, Fayt continued with his explanation. "It doesn't always have to be a man and a woman. Same sex pairings have become quite common actually. But I suppose it's different here."

Albel considered Fayt's words, and looked inward for his own feelings on the matter. Far back in the depths of his experience were the shady expectations of society. Once, Albel had both a mother and a father, a family if you will, and so deep in his psyche there was the knowledge that this was the proper way of things. Men and women married, and this resulted in children. What else would be the point?

In all honesty, Albel had never considered the possibility of having a male companion, and the thought of intimacy with another man was almost completely foreign to him. There had been some men in his own Black Brigade who had resorted to bedding each other when there was a lack of women, but for the most part it was frowned upon as a disgusting and immoral act. He too had looked at them with disgust, but he supposed now that he had been more disgusted with the idea of love and physical intimacy than who you chose to share it with.

As for Albel, he had never actually considered settling down with anyone, male or female, since he could never bring himself to trust anyone enough to make that kind of commitment. He hated himself, and so it stood to reason that everyone else hated him too. You can't love another until you first learn to love yourself and Albel had not completed this all important first step.

But perhaps the most damning reason to explain why Albel had never considered other men as objects of desire was that the dregs of society which passed for men in Airyglyph were completely unappealing, if not downright hostile. Those who didn't hate him, feared him and for the most part he considered everyone around him to be inferior. Even the king did not measure up to his standards, but that was different matter entirely. The older men were burly rustics like Vox, and the younger ones were typically useless oafs. They were all maggots in his eyes and he had never found any of them attractive.

Albel had always been the exception. There were none like him in the kingdom and perhaps that was why it had taken him so long to discover that the differences were more than skin deep. Fayt was also different. The boy was unique and desired by so many, and once his mind realized that it was a possibility, Albel's attraction grew.

His barriers had kept him from seeing it, but as Fayt continued to close the distance between them through patient devotion, Albel's heart had opened itself up to suggestions for a deeper relationship. He wasn't pleased with this new development, but he couldn't really prevent it either.

Albel decided to press things further, seeking the rejection which would quell his new emotions. "You do like women, don't you Fayt?" There would never be a chance for me anyway . . .

Interestingly enough, Fayt merely shrugged in a non-committal fashion and continued to look at him with the strangest expression, which Albel took to signal some form of absolute honesty. "I guess it depends on the person . . . I thought that I liked girls, but sometimes, a person's outlook on life can change when they are presented with someone new. I think that as long as you love someone, it doesn't matter if they are male or female, and once you realize how important that person is to you it gets harder and harder to imagine yourself with anyone else." Fayt smiled and held his eyes for several seconds before the boy flushed red again and quickly looked away guiltily. I can't make it any clearer for you Albel, so please try to understand.

In that brief moment, Albel had witnessed something in Fayt's eyes which he had seen in countless others. Desire. It was faint, but unmistakable. Fayt didn't have the ability to hide his emotions, at least not well, and definitely not from someone who had been with him for as long as Albel had.

Yet this time, there was a clear difference between how Fayt looked at him, and how others had. It was gentle, kind and unselfish. It was possible that Fayt wanted him, but it went deeper than mere infatuation, and it had probably gone beyond a mere physical attraction. Woltar's words rang in his head as if trying to confirm what he already dreaded, "Have you ever considered the possibility that Fayt loves you Albel, despite your imperfections?"

Fayt shyly avoided his gaze and Albel almost found it charming. Almost. He was suffocating, bursting with new emotions he definitely didn't want and as he continued to watch Fayt he struggled and fought against them. Resist him! It will never work. He's mistaken if he harbors any belief to the contrary! But for every reason against, there was another, more powerful reason which countered it. We've been together a long time now. Fayt has seen me at my worst but he's still here . . . he won't leave me . . . maybe I can trust him.

Seeing that Albel was currently distracted with his own thoughts, Fayt hurried to finish what he had started earlier. He removed his undershorts, arranged them so that they were closest to the fire in the hopes that they would dry faster, and stood back. Now that he was naked, Fayt didn't know what to do with himself, and he was even less sure of what Albel would do. In his haste, Fayt had forgotten to ask the other man to look away, and he was about to pay for his oversight.

From his seat on the cave floor, Albel stared at him, and his gaze was shameless. If he could make Fayt nervous, than why shouldn't he? Crimson eyes scrolled up and down the body of the younger man, as if they were analysing an enemy, and what they saw was deemed terribly amusing by their owner. He matches, Albel thought without even realizing where his eyes had lingered. I suppose blue is his natural colour . . . The next thing Albel noticed was that Fayt was indeed well endowed. I wonder if all Earthlings are like that . . . Albel's eyes widened with surprise when started to feel something stirring in his own lower regions, and he immediately decided that Fayt had been tortured enough.

The Glyphian stood up, stepped out of his skirt while being careful not to accidently brush against anything which would encourage his unwanted arousal, and grabbed his coat from it's place next to the fire. He ascertained that the coat was sufficiently dry and brought both items over to where Fayt was standing awkwardly, arms crossed, apparently unsure of what to do next. He couldn't sit down because the floor was freezing, but standing wasn't the greatest option either. As Albel approached him, Fayt's eyes flicked nervously from what the other man held in his hands, to Albel's unreadable expression and back down to his own glorious nudity.

Without batting an eye, Albel held out his skirt and motioned for Fayt to take it, being careful to keep his eyes focused on the boy's upper half, instead of trailing back down as they ached to do. "Cover yourself, worm. I'm sick of looking at you," he lied.

"Are you sure?"

"We have a fire now, so it's not that cold. I'll be fine. But if you insist on refusing to clothe yourself, then I've no choice but to let you freeze to death."

Again with the death threats. He never quits. "All right, you win."

Fayt pulled the skirt on, tightened the sash around his waist so that it wouldn't fall, and glanced down to inspect himself. It looked horrible on him, but it was literally better than nothing. I guess it takes skill to pull this look off.

When he looked up, Fayt noticed that Albel was still staring at him. What does he want? Albel was so close to him, that Fayt could feel the other man's warmth. Heat radiated against his cold, bare skin and he wondered what it would be like to touch the source. Fayt's cheeks burned as blood rushed to his face, and to his mortification, his face was not the only recipient. If he hadn't been covered, Fayt would have had some explaining to do. Even so, he still felt bad about doing such a thing in Albel's skirt.

To Albel's credit, his mind at least was focused on more important matters. While he had been greatly amused by Fayt's embarrassed blushing, he had later noticed that the colour wasn't fading, and the boy's face still looked flushed. It was healthier, and certainly preferable to the pale complexion he had displayed earlier, but Albel still felt uneasy. He doesn't look well.

Albel dropped his coat to the ground, and with uncharacteristic gentleness, he placed his metal hand on Fayt's shoulder and held him steady as he used his flesh hand to brush blue bangs away from the boy's face. Slender fingers lingered for a few seconds, resting against the boy's skin but Albel still looked dissatisfied. Moving closer, Albel touched his lips to Fayt's forehead and held them there, pressing firmly, and Fayt nearly fainted dead away. Is he kissing me? I didn't think he could be like this . . .

Albel stood back, crossed his arms, and appraised him. "You're fevered," he said flatly. "Burning up to be precise. You'll need to rest before it gets any worse."

So that gentle touch was platonic after all. He took my temperature with his lips, just like mom used to do when I was little. He's worried about me. I wonder if he even realizes it.

"Are you listening, fool? I said rest!" The kindness was gone from his demeanor, and Albel was back to doing what he did best, berating others and giving commands.

Obediently, Fayt lay down and curled up close to the warmth of the fire. Instead of moving away, Albel sat down beside him, his eyes alert with an air of protective possession, and watched with interest as Fayt's breathing subsided into the long, deep rhythm of sleep. Remembering the coat, Albel recovered it and quickly tossed it over Fayt to cover the rest of his body so he would be protected from any cold breezes that made it past the fire.

Once he was certain that the boy was truly asleep, Albel licked his lips. They tasted like Fayt, which was not as unpleasant as he had expected and his lips still burned from the touch. Whether this was due to Fayt's fever, or the forbidden desire the act had renewed, was uncertain. Albel shuddered and sighed with confusion as he turned his attention toward the sleeping youngster in an attempt to distract himself from the unwanted sensations which made his senses tingle as he relived that momentary touch.

Albel watched the boy sleep with unparalleled curiosity and soon found himself marvelling at Fayt's slumber. Fayt was so incredibly peaceful and calm, even when he was ill. A small smile graced his face and his hands were balled in contented fists, much like a sleeping child's.

Such innocence. Not a care in the world while he sleeps . . . and I bet his thoughts are untroubled by nightmares and fears. And yet, Albel found it hard to believe his own observations. He looks innocent, but I think he has seen too much to remain that way. He must feel some pain, or regrets, and yet he still retains trust in others, which is something I lost long ago. Is that why I want to protect him and keep him safe from any further pain? To ensure that he won't end up like me . . .

The desire to protect something that you value. It was a new emotion for him. Yet one question remained. Albel still didn't know just how valuable Fayt was to him. Why am I content just to watch him sleep? What exactly does the fool mean to me? And more importantly, what do I mean to him?

Dropping his eyes and tearing them away from his companion, Albel's gaze passed over his own body in judgement. Earlier that day, Fayt had voiced his acceptance of Albel's mangled arm and he had actually been relieved. But what about the rest of his body? I wonder if Fayt likes what he sees . . . Immediately, Albel gave himself a mental rebuke. It didn't matter if Fayt appreciated his physical appearance, did it? He certainly didn't have those kinds of feelings for the boy, no matter what signals his body had been sending him. Does he like the way I look . . . What nonsense! Perhaps I'm fevered as well . . . or delusional.

Although he claimed that he didn't care, Albel still wouldn't leave Fayt's side and that night he didn't sleep. Instead, he sat beside his blue-haired companion and watched over the boy as he slept. Fayt was sick, obviously vulnerable, and something deep inside him begged the swordsman not to leave, so he didn't. Of course, if he had been asked later, he would have denied ever doing such a thing, but at the moment there were no people around to see him, and no one who would judge him for showing the tiniest shred of kindness and concern toward his, as yet unknown heart's desire.

ooooo

A/N: -rubs eyes sleepily- I should update earlier in the day, but I figured that if I didn't force myself to do this now, it probably wouldn't get done since I am easily distracted when the sun is shining:). Leave a review if you are so inclined, and be nice, I'm tired. Next chapter: Kiss the Demons Out of My Dreams. Is that a big enough hint for what's gonna happen? XD