I think most of you have been waiting for this moment... Enjoy!


''Are you going to tell me your biggest secret yet or not?'' Thatch asked impatiently.

Before Izo could reply his dendenmushi started ringing. Secretly relieved he could stall the outcome of the bet they had, he took the call and after the snail gave a 'cling' sound Marco's voice was heard. ''Did you finish up there? We're gathering at an island thirty minutes away from you guys, yoi. Could you come here as soon as possible?''

Thatch and Izo shared a concerned look before replying. ''Why? What happened?'' Thatch asked.

''Portgas D. Ace challenged Oyaji. He just beat Jinbei, yoi,'' was the phoenix's reply.

''That brat?'' Izo then asked slightly surprised. ''Jinbei couldn't have gone easy on him could he?'' Jinbei wasn't really a member of the crew, but they all still saw him as a family member nevertheless. He was a dear friend and always welcome on the ship.

''They fought for five days and nights straight. Oyaji accepted the challenge and are taking care of his crew. Ace lies unconscious on the ship now, yoi.''

''We'll be there in thirty then, I suppose..'' Izo replied. He glanced over at Whitey who had been busy with helping her crew. She overheard the conversation and now turned to Izo with a smile.

''Go. We can wait.''

Izo wanted to reply, not wanting to leave her like this, but Thatch bumped his arm. ''Let's go. She can handle this herself.''

It took them indeed thirty minutes to get to the main ship of the Whitebeard pirates. Once on it, Izo noticed the unfamiliar boys with hanging shoulders sitting on the deck.

''They just accepted to join the crew.'' Haruta said as he ran towards Izo. ''Ace is still unconscious.'' With a grin he regarded the new crewmates.

Izo sighed. ''What happened out there?''

''Just as Marco explained it, Ace challenged Whitebeard, big brother Jinbei stopped him and then Oyaji asked him to join. Ace didn't want to but fell unconscious, so he decided to take him along anyway. The crew accepted Oyaji's offer without much fight, we did beat some of them because they thought they could still hold their own, but they are not really hurt physically.''

Izo raised his eyebrows. ''And Oyaji expects Ace to accept him as his father? He doesn't seem to want to, if you ask me.'' They had more often, but Oyaji took him along while the boy had refused.

''Well, he falls under Marco's custody for now. We'll see what happens I suppose.'' Haruta ran off again and Izo took a moment to study the new crewmates. Under what Division would they fall now? He supposed all that would be taken care of.

''What do you think?'' He asked Thatch who had been standing next to him all this time. He had his hands behind his head and listened to Haruta quietly. Bringing his arms down he rolled up the sleeves. ''He'll come around. Everyone does, right? Now then, I need to prepare dinner.'' Before walking off, he added one more thing. ''I'm expecting you in the kitchens soon to tell me about your secret.'' Amused, he stalked off greeting the gloomy new crewmates happily who didn't even bother responding.

Izo hoped he could stall it longer because yeah.. he didn't know why, because he would have to do it at some point, but he was dreading Thatch's answer so much..

But he also knew he had to tell him, no matter what the answer was. He came to the conclusion he'd be satisfied with Thatch being happy, that was all he wanted to see.

It was a rather pathetic excuse, he knew that, but how else was he supposed to keep himself together?

With that in mind, he made his way to the kitchens where Thatch was doing the dishes on his own.

''You came so soon, eh?'' He shouted over the running water. He dried his hands and leaned against the counter.

His stomach seemed to be dropping and his heart beat harder and harder. This could change it all, he thought starting to feel miserable again. Maybe he wouldn't get to spend time with Thatch as he did now anymore, maybe they would start dating after all, or maybe they would continue this way.. Although the last one seemed impossible because confessions always brought change forward.

Crossing his arms inside his sleeves to hide the uneasiness he felt, he looked at everything except Thatch.

''Well? Am I getting a response from you, or not? You seemed spaced out, man.'' Thatch chuckled and patted on the corner. ''Come and tell your dear brother about your little secret.''

He wouldn't call him that after Izo told him his 'little' secret.

He did as asked though and stood next to him, staring at the ground instead of the man he came to love. ''Remember when you told you would never leave me and make sure I wouldn't give up on life as long as you were there?'' He whispered not sure why he started about their childhood.

He noticed Thatch shifting his position slightly out of the corner of his eye. Did it make him uncomfortable?

''I do.. I always took you by your hand and pulled you along with me as we ran away from those commoners who kept on chasing you.. How nostalgic..'' The last part was meant as some kind of joke because they both felt the atmosphere around them changing. The mood was quickly saddening. He stayed quiet after that, waiting for Izo to continue.

He swallowed and continued explaining. ''What if you would leave me now, not physically, but as..brothers.. after I tell you my secret?''

Thatch sat on the counter and faced Izo, although Izo didn't return the gaze. ''I don't care what kind of secret you have, Izo. I'm not leaving you. You are too important to me.'' He reached out his hand, hesitated halfway through and dropped it. Izo wasn't sure why he did so, maybe the pain in Izo's expression was just that visible?

''Are you sure?''

''Yes, why? What is it?''

Izo took a deep breath and finally returned the gaze. He stared at Thatch's brown eyes, with a gold line encircling the iris, which Izo always found very beautiful about Thatch. ''I..'' Biting his lower lip, he made up his mind for better or worse and spilled the beans. ''I started to have feelings for you.. I don't know when.. but I think I love you..'' Closing his eyes because the embarrassment settles in, he forced himself to look at Thatch, to see his expression and burn it into his mind so he would always remember it.

Thatch scratched the behind of his head, dropped his hand, opened his mouth only to close it again and then something flashed in his eyes, which Izo couldn't lay his finger on, sadness, pain, hurt? What was it?

He needed to know the answer, to be done with this. He couldn't wait any longer. Thatch made the wait seem endless while Izo started to dread his answer more and more. ''Thatch..'' He barely managed to bring out.

Thatch looked away, to the ground. ''I don't feel the same way. I'm sorry, Izo.'' It sounded flat, cold, short. As if it was a repeated line in a cliché movie.

He knew right? Didn't he tell Marco Thatch would never feel the same way about Izo? He knew this would happen, right? And yet.. And yet it hurt so badly.. It felt like his heart was slowly showing cracks look old wood did as soon as you leaned on it too much. His head was spinning because he felt like he just fell from a mountain, his stomach turned and twisted, making it unbearable staying there, standing next to the man he loved.

Tears wanted to make their way out, but Izo bit the inside of his cheek and dug his nails in his arms who were safely hidden from view inside his sleeves. He felt a bit of liquid, blood, trickling down his arms. It wasn't enough to stop the pain from taking over.

Taking a deep breath, or more like a gasp, Izo kept staring forward with wide eyes. ''I'm going to bed..'' he whispered barely audible.

Without knowing what expression Thatch made, although he could guess what was going through the other's mind. He knew him that well after all.

Pity.

He probably felt sorry for Izo for having to do this to him, but then why did he say it in such a cold manner?

Hadn't they been best friends, brothers for thirteen years?

When he reached the door he heard a soft whisper: ''I'm sorry..''

It made Izo want to cry even more now. Still forcing the tears down, he bit his lip until blood sprang free. There was so much pain in that one apology, Thatch voice had cracked as if had to force himself to say it.

After he closed the door he ran to his bedroom where he could let the pain take over without having to worry about others seeing him.

Tears streamed down his face as he took desperate gasps for oxygen that didn't seem to want to enter his body. His heart hurt, he didn't think that was even possible.

He allowed himself to cry for a while, he didn't know how long exactly, until there were no more tears left and Izo felt completely empty. He had a headache and his face felt puffy. His body was limp but Izo managed to stand up anyway and took the necessary clothing and towels he needed for a shower. Carefully making sure no one saw him he entered the shared bathroom and locked himself up in one of the stalls.

The cold water was very welcome and made him feel slightly alive again. Izo couldn't afford being weak now after all. He was a commander, he had to be strong for his Division, for the other Divisions too. He was an example, like the other commanders, for the crew.

Once finished, he stepped out and stole a moment to stare out of the small round window. It was night.. How long had he been in his room and how long had he taken a shower? It was oddly quiet on the ship too. Did that mean everyone else was asleep?

As if it was a sign, drowsiness started to settle in and Izo decided it would be good if he had a dreamless sleep for once. Back in his room, he covered himself in his blankets and fell asleep within minutes, although the nightmares weren't spared.