Somewhere during Sunday, between two reports, Dean managed to send a text to Castiel and ask if he'd be willing to try one of Dean's signature burgers. Castiel replied within the minute with an enthusiastic "Yes!" followed by a "Is your home easily reached by public transport?".

Dean gave him his address and Castiel said he would be there before eight, which left Dean plenty of time to prepare everything.

With little to no lead to find the mole who killed Martin, his mood was at its lowest. The only highlight in his week was an email he received from the Police Forces in the United Kingdom. A child, named Abby Talbot, disappeared about ten years ago, leaving absolutely no trace whatsoever. Her parents died in a suspicious accident and left her with all their fortune when she was only fourteen. It was worth taking a closer look at.

Meanwhile, Victor got different cases assigned as Bela seemed to be taking a break. He arrested a car thief and two suspected murderers. Dean wanted to go back on the field but Bobby did not budge.

When Wednesday came, Dean had already bought the best meat, lettuce, cheese and bacon he could find in the nearby supermarket. On his way back home, he stopped to buy the freshest buns and some additional toppings that Castiel might like.

When his doorbell rang, he just needed to toss the meat in the pan and fry the bacon. All the rest was ready, which made him quite proud, as the last time he cooked like this was with Ben and Lisa. The memory of these good times spent with them left him with a warm heart and not that empty feeling from almost two month ago.

He opened the door and let Castiel in.

"Hello Dean," he greeted Dean with a smile. "As I understood you liked beer…" he did not finish his sentence but showed a plastic bag that seemed heavy.

"Wow, nice Cas! We'll put them in the fridge."

He took the bag and started to pick them up one by one.

"I was not sure which type were your favorite, so I took a sample of each. They're from local or micro-breweries," he explained.

He really should not be surprised about this, but he still was. "Thanks Cas. Which one do you want to start with?"

Castiel pointed to one and Dean took another that looked awesome, with a great white shark painted on it. He placed them in the freezer and the others in the fridge. Then, he gave Castiel the grand tour of his apartment, which was done fairly quickly.

"It's very cozy." Castiel commented with an appreciative nod.

"It's small but it's something." Dean said. "I can't afford something bigger now. But in a few years maybe."

Castiel looked around and nodded. Dean thought that he would get a sad look when Castiel noticed the cardboard box for the TV, the old couch or the rundown furniture. But instead, he seemed to appreciate it to the point where he started to make himself at home, removing his trench coat, jacket and placing them neatly folded on the couch armrest. For some reason, Dean liked that. He was really pleased Castiel did not look as if he wanted to leave at the soonest.

Immediately, Dean got them a cold beer, one of his own, while the ones in the freezer got to the right temperature, then left Castiel in front of the TV as he left to start on the meat.

He started cooking and heard Castiel browse the limited channels he had. He threw the meat in a pan and the bacon in another then put out all the preparation for the filling. Ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise, sliced avocado, fresh lettuce, sliced tomato, sliced onion, barbecue sauce, cheese, and a bag of potato chips as he had no oven. He brought them all and placed them over the little table, leaving enough space for the plates.

After a while he took the bacon out and grilled the buns in the same pan, laughing slightly at Sam's face if he had seen this, that health freak!, and reduced the heat. A few minutes after, he placed the meat on one side on the bun and brought both plates in front of the TV. Castiel was smiling fondly and Dean wondered what was so interesting in a video taken from space, showing earth. Weird little nerd.

As soon as Dean sat down, Castiel shut down the TV and looked in front of him. "These look delicious," he commented, still smiling.

They started the preparation of the burgers and Dean was pleased to see Castiel place a lot of cheese and bacon, and a little lettuce and tomato. Dean did almost the same but added some slices of avocado and onion.

He placed the other half of the bun on top and started to chuckle. "This looks like a Scooby sandwich," he realized.

Castiel smiled politely, probably not understanding the reference. "To be fair, mine looks almost the same," he noted.

Without further delay, they took their first bites. Dean was satisfied with the result. The meat was well done but not dry. It really was worth buying more expensive meat to have this taste. Next to him, he heard Castiel moan. He straight out moaned! Dean turned his head and saw Castiel, eyes closed, mouth full so full his cheek were literally spherical, chewing his burger. This sight was entrancing and Dean couldn't stop watching, mouth a little open.

"These," Castiel started after swallowing, "these make me very happy." He nodded, and took another bite. Soon after, another moan followed, which was too much for Dean whose imagination immediately associated that noise to something more intimate and he really did not want to go down that road.

He stood up and went back to the kitchen to cool himself down. Castiel was so captivated by his food he did not realize Dean was gone from the couch. It took a few seconds to Dean to get himself in check. He got the beers out of the freezer and brought them over. Castiel nodded again when he felt Dean sit down next to him.

"These are delicious, Dean," he said. "The best, really."

Dean let out a laugh. "Better than the Roadhouse?" he asked.

Castiel rolled his eyes. "Yes, but please don't tell Ellen. Or Jo!"

"Scout's honor!"

Dean detailed how he cooked the meat and bacon. Then Castiel explained that the best he could do was to throw vegetables in a pan and wait for them to be edible.

"They're not very good," he admitted.

"Do you put at least garlic or olive oil?" Dean asked.

"No, just salt and pepper really."

"Try it next time," Dean advised.

Castiel approved. "I can make decent spaghetti, though. If you don't mind it being either sticky or over-cooked. But once, I managed to make it good!" he insisted with a smile.

They chatted long after they finished their burgers. Then Dean realized he totally forgot to get dessert. He suggested to go down to the 24/7 get something and Castiel insisted to come with him. They settled for vanilla ice cream and some cookies. Dean paid, despite Castiel's protests and they enjoyed their improvised dessert in front of the TV.

"Are people that clumsy?" Castiel asked, fascinated by the infomercial channel.

Dean let out a loud laugh. "Come on, you can't be serious!" he chuckled. When Castiel turned his interrogating look at his, he sighed. "Oh shit, Cas, seriously?"

"My apologies," Castiel said. "I think my upbringing sometimes obstructs my social skills and pop culture knowledge," he sighed.

"You didn't watch TV when you were a kid?"

"No. My mother preferred for us to learn our lessons or at best play outside with some of our cousins," he explained.

Dean jumped on the occasion to talk about Castiel's childhood. Apparently, his mother was quite strict. He was homeschooled until his eighteenth birthday when he finally left for university, despite his mother's objections. He didn't talk about his father, so Dean let the subject drop. Now he understood better why Castiel was a little awkward. Being mostly recluse and clearly introvert really must have been hard for him. However Castiel did not complain or mention his difficulties.

When there was a lull in the conversation, Dean noticed Castiel kept on gazing at him.

"What? I have something on my face?" he asked, wiping his mouth again.

"No, it's just nice to see you relaxed," Castiel admitted. "Really nice."

Dean held a hand as he did not really understand what that meant. "I'm always relaxed!" he assured while shaking his head.

"No, you're not," Castiel insisted softly, his brows frowning a little.

"I'm always chill!" Dean repeated.

"That's not what I meant," Castiel corrected. "After a while, you notice the same behavior in certain types of people," he said and kept his gaze on Dean for a long second before looking at his hands. "Hostages, extreme situations military profiles, assault teams," he listed. "Even people under witness protection."

He stopped and looked back at Dean. "Undercover agents." He finished.

"Cas—"

"The first thing are the eyes. It's the most difficult to notice. Whenever you enter a room, the first thing you do is note all possible exits. Every time. In my office, the diners, the Roadhouse, also the supermarket," Castiel continued. "It takes less than a second to assess all exits."

"I—"

"The second is the study of faces. This one can easily be mistaken for inattention or even curiosity. You scan the crowd and whenever someone enters the room you're in, you will always take a look. Probably to see if that's someone you know, assess if you are still safe in said room."

Dean kept silent. His mind was blank.

"And the third is the tension in your body. Again this can easily pass for hyperactivity or nervousness, when it is actually your muscles being conditioned for immediate response."

Dean could not believe it. Surely Castiel was pulling his leg! He never did any of these!

"Cas, really—"

"Except now," Castiel interrupted him for the last time. "Now you are relaxed. Well, just before I opened my mouth you were," he said apologetically. "No looking around, no body tension."

Dean sat a little straighter.

"No glances toward the door. You are relaxed. And it's nice to see you like this."

Dean swallowed. He looked at Castiel, studying his expression which only showed amiable concern and sympathy. It even seemed to Dean that his eyes were bluer than ever, as if they were piercing right through him to lay his soul bare in front of them. It was intimidating.

His first reaction was anger. He felt heat rise through his body. How could a stranger try to decipher him like this? But then, it was Castiel. An overly patient little guy who always looks at Dean with respect and care. He even thought 'lovingly' but refused to acknowledge it. So yes, Castiel meant well.

"You're probably right," Dean muttered after a while, looking at his hands on his lap. He did not need to glance at Castiel to know he was tilting his head with a soft smile. "I just…" he tried to express his thoughts but what Castiel told him messed him up a bit. "I guess I do that. Makes sense really," he finally said. "I didn't know I was doing it. Now that it's all over, you know?"

He heard Castiel nod with a little hum.

"You just can't shake it off like this."

"Dean, it's not a criticism," Castiel explained in a deep voice, making Dean look up and see his serious face. "All I'm saying is that, yes you do that, which is normal due to your past. But right here, in your apartment, you don't. You are relaxed. And safe. And this suits you better than being on edge."

Dean felt heat creep up his cheeks. For the second time of the evening, he got up and went straight to the kitchen, mumbling something about coffee. Without even asking Castiel, he brewed two cups and brought them back once he felt less exposed. During that time, Castiel just sat silently, doing nothing. Weird guy, Dean thought.

Dean, who desperately wanted to change the topic, talked some more about Sam, his parents, his car. It was nothing new and he felt like he kept repeating himself which must bore Castiel to death. But clearly the guy was too polite to make Dean shut his mouth. So he chatted some more and when they realized it was almost midnight, Dean insisted to drive Castiel back home who agreed once he checked the bus schedule and understood there was no service for the night.

Like usual, the drive back was quiet, a comfortable silence between them, with only the Beatles as background music. In a few minutes, they reached Castiel's office. They agreed to meet the next day in front of the theater, then wished good night.

(***)

Dean went through the arrested names at least twenty times, cross-checking each and every one of them. Something did not add up. He remembered very well how Alastair compared himself to the Messiah, saying he had his faithful apostles and that none would turn like Judas did.

That meant twelve people. But was Dean considered an apostle too? Sure, he used some of Alastair's techniques, under his very own supervision. However, he, (thankfully!), was never invited to one of their "communion nights". With Alastair, twelve people were behind bars, waiting for the trial. Did that mean that there was a thirteenth still out there? Or was it supposed to be Dean? In which case the Judas case he pulled off really was hilarious. He was not sure.

He read reports and testimonies and everything lead to Dean being the last member of their gang. But his Spidey-senses tingled too much for him to ignore it. Something was not right. Who got loose and killed Martin? Or was it just coincidental? Or maybe some deranged person who wanted some publicity and to get Alastair's attention. Everything was possible. This whole case was a big mess.

He asked Victor to ask around for Martin's last days, who he met, what he did. Victor was reluctant at first, being buried in three new possibly Bela Talbot related robberies. But when Dean insisted, he agreed.

"That's gonna cost you, Dean. You do realize that?" he warned.

Dean sighed and nodded. "Whatever you need, buddy. It's yours."

"Even that car of yours?" Victor asked, a little smirk showing he knew very well what he was asking.

"Don't push it!"

Victor let out a snort and shook his head. But Dean knew they had a deal. Victor would be his eyes on the field as he was still tied to his desk.

"Then maybe, you can tell me more about that sweet lady of yours?" Victor pressed on.

Since the last Thursday where he thought Dean had a date, which Dean clearly did not as it was just two friends going to the movies, Victor kept on asking about his 'date'. Despite Dean's answers, explaining there was no 'date', and being just friends, Victor seemed to have taken a liking in teasing him. He was sure Dean was dating a hot model and that he wanted to keep her away from Victor. Dean insisted he was meeting a friend, male, but Victor did not believe him.

"I'm not, Vic! I'm really not dating anyone!" Dean replied.

"So, you being in a hurry today is not cause of someone?" he teased.

"I don't want to be late is all," Dean explained, trying hard to not look pissed, which he was really starting to be.

"At least tell me her name?" Victor asked again.

"There is no one! Vic, seriously dude!" Dean almost shouted. "No woman, no girlfriend! Got it?!"

Victor rolled his eyes and looked back at his computer screen. "Sheesh, no need to be angry. Just askin'."

Dean let out a long and loud sigh, then focused on his work.

Soon after, he drove to the theater where Castiel was again waiting for him. As soon as he spotted Dean, he smiled and waved two pieces of paper. "Got the tickets," he announced with a grin.

They watched the movie and Castiel enjoyed it, though he preferred the first one.

"Wait till you see the third before making up your mind," Dean said.

Castiel decided it was good advice, then accepted the drive back with Dean.

(***)

The next Wednesday came way too slow for Dean. Victor did not bring anything relevant from his interviews and Bobby still refused to let him go back in the field. To Victor's delight, Dean filled all his reports and started to bring muffins to the precinct as he began to be fed up with the donuts.

However, to Dean's annoyance, Victor noticed he was hurrying up and started teasing him again. Which turned out to a full on interrogation.

"So you do meet someone every Wednesday?" he pushed.

"Yes," Dean replied.

"Since what… two months ago?"

"More or less."

"Every Wednesday."

"Yes!"

"And Thursdays too?"

"No, that's exceptional," Dean explained, feeling tired already. "Seriously, dude, what's the problem?" he asked, massaging his hand against his forehead. "You're being a pain, you know that?"

Victor, who was standing next to him, sat halfway on Dean's desk and looked at him straight in the eyes. His face more serious than Dean had seen all day. He inhaled deeply and Dean knew he was not going to like what was coming next.

"Dean," he started. "You're seeing someone every. Damn. Wednesday," he continued, articulating each word slowly. "And now go to the movies. Every. Thursday. In which world… I mean, in which kind of screwed up world are you living and not see that you're dating?"

Dean frowned. "Victor, I already told you. We're just friends."

"Didn't you cook for him last time? Invited him over?"

Dean shrugged. "Well, yeah. But that means nothing. Even Benny comes over from time to time and I cook for him. He's married, dude!"

Victor did not divert his gaze, but lowered his head. Every pore of his skin screamed disbelief. "You're dating," he declared.

"We're not…"

Victor suddenly stood up and walked back to his desk, throwing the papers he held in hand on the hard surface. "Damn you're dense!"

Dean rolled his eyes and threw gum at Victor's head. "Did you ask Lilith out? Or did you chicken out again?"

"You're still dating and you better realize it before someone finds something better elsewhere!" Victor shot back, throwing the gum back at Dean.

Once his day was over, he drove straight to Castiel's office. Victor's words running around in his little head. Yes, of course, it looked like dating. But surely Castiel did not see it that way. Plus he was with Meg, so… He tried to push his thoughts the further down he could. He parked the park in front of the building, walked to the entrance and rang thrice, in short succession, before entering the building and climbing the stairs. To his surprise, the office door was opened and Meg absent. Castiel appeared from his desk a few seconds later, dressed and ready to go.

"Hello Dean," he greeted. "I figured it would be you."

"Oh, the three rings? It's my signature entrance!" he laughed. It was not funny. At all. He knew that, but that still made Castiel smile, which filled him with joy. "So, Meg's not here?"

"Yes," Castiel confirmed "as it seems we have a little burger tradition on Wednesdays, she leaves earlier. She thanks you for that, by the way. But also warned us to not only eat greasy food because she doesn't want to be the one to bury me." He shook his head. "She swore she'd leave me to die on the floor if I ever have a heart-attack."

"Well, that's reassuring," Dean said, not sure how to react.

"Don't worry," Castiel assured him. "She was just being her unapologetic-self," he said with a smile. "Do you have any place in mind?"

"I thought maybe the Roadhouse?" he suggested, glad for the change of topic. "Good for you?"

"Perfect," Castiel replied.

He locked the office and they left Chicago for the evening.

Once they sat down in the same booth as the last time, Ellen came to take their orders. She did not even bother with a menu and they ordered the same burgers and beer.

"So, where's Jo?" Dean asked.

"Out with Meg apparently," Ellen replied with a shrug. "Not sure what is going on between those two and I'm not even sure I want to know."

Castiel chuckled. "They will be fine," he assured Ellen.

She sighed. "They better be, Hon'. They better be."

Dean managed to hide his surprise. "It's cool you guys see other people," he said, not really wanting to talk about Meg but hey! If she was cool with Cas eating out with him, it was worth mentioning.

"I don't see why we couldn't," Castiel replied while shrugging of his coat then his jacket.

"Well, most couples I know are just glued together, you know? They're always doing stuff together. Which is cool, I guess. But then you just can't have one without the other. And that's cool, you know? But if you want to spend time with someone. Not that you don't like the other! Of course! But see, couples are—" Dean stopped his rambling when he noticed the look on Castiel's face. "What?"

"Dean… Meg and I are not a couple. We're not engaged." Castiel clarified, his brows raised almost to his hairline.

"Oh? … oooooh! Crap!" Dean swore. "I mean sorry! I just thought…"

"I'm single," Castiel continued.

"Right! Okay!" Dean breathed in. "Sorry dude! I mean, that's cool. Well, no. That's not cool." He knew he was rambling again but just could not stop. "But cool for telling me! Not that's it's cool for you. Or for me—"

"Dean," Castiel interrupted him with a smile. "It's alright. Many people are confused. Ellen thought we were married. Apparently Meg scolding me for eating like a 'peasant' when it came to burgers made her think that."

"Oh…" was the only thing Dean managed to utter. His brains cells were overheating. He felt the heat creep to his cheeks and despite his thought running way past speed limits, he just could not think of anything to say.

"We have dated, though." Castiel continued, eyes fixed on Dean. "A few years ago. She came as a client. Then…" he hesitated. "Well, let's say she was not too happy with her current situation. And one thing leading to another. Or more like Meg taking the reins, we got involved. We soon realized that it would not work out, despite caring deeply for each other," he explained. "When she realized how buried in work I was, she decided to help me out. And well… might as well hire her officially."

Dean noticed the fond smile Castiel wore when talking about her. Yes, he really cared for her, it was almost tangible. He could not help but remember Victor's words. Maybe he was right. Maybe they have been dating? Was Castiel aware of this? Was he even willing to date Dean? Knowing was he had done? His palms were getting sweaty. He hated that and tried to keep them spread on his thighs. The fabric would help. But he felt too hot. He had already dropped his jacket and was left with only a Henley.

Lucky for him, Ellen came back with the beers. He immediately snatched his and gulped it down almost entirely, under Castiel's scrutiny. When he needed to breathe, he put it back on the beermat and took a deep inhale.

"Now you know," Castiel commented.

"Yeah," Dean chuckled. He was going to need more drinks coming. Sooner rather than later!

"How about you?" Castiel asked, his gaze not wavering a little.

"Nah, all free!" Dean joked.

"What about Benny?" Castiel insisted.

Okay, more beer! "What about him?" he asked while gesturing for Ellen to bring another one.

"You know I am good at reading?"

Dean gulped down the rest of his glass.

"I'm even better at reading between the lines." Castiel stated.

Dean mind was a litany of 'Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Sunovabitch! The hell?! Fuck!'. He forced a smile on his face. He had two options. Lying through his teeth or telling the truth. He was not sure he was up to the latter. Repressed memories and feelings never got anything good. Plus that meant admitting something he was not even ready to face. He looked at Castiel. The always so patient Castiel, hands wrapped around his beer, playing with the condensation on the glass. Fuck it.

"It's a long story," Dean started and forced another smile, trying to make himself feel better. "You got my complete file?"

"Almost complete, yes."

"You, err—" he tried "You have a mention about that time where an interrogation went south?"

Castiel nodded. "When Crowley's number four in command killed a suspected mole?"

"Yeah, that…" Dean kept silent for a couple of seconds, then took another inhale. "It was a fucked up night, Cas. I killed the guy. First time I ever killed anyone…" he looked down, remembering the whole scene as if it happened the night before. "Well, you have to start somewhere!" he joked and let an insincere laugh out. He would not fool anyone but it was worth trying. "So Benny helped me stage the whole thing. Then I told him I wanted out. I wanted out so bad, man." He let out a shaky sigh. "I wanted to see my brother, my parents, back to my old life. Man, I had just killed a guy! And I realized for the first time how screwed up the situation really was. How deep I was and how much deeper I might get."

He shook his head and drank a few gulps from Castiel's glass. "I wouldn't have imagined back then that Alastair would get me and start 'teaching' me. Anyway…"

He shot a quick glance at Castiel who was listening carefully. Dean's resolve started to waiver but he knew he had to keep going.

"I told Benny how screwed up it all was. That there was no way I was going back. So he took me out. We drank. A lot. He heard me out, for hours, man! Hours!" he insisted. "And he just listened and you know, was just there. I don't know if he knew or not, but I kinda liked the guy. This whole bear style got to me." He cleared his throat and averted Castiel's gaze. "Yeah well, I was drunk to the point of almost passing out. He was not any better. Or just a bit. So we decided to wait it out in the next motel. Got a room and all and then, don't know what happened, don't know who started it, but err—" he licked his lips. He remembered the taste so vividly. "We kissed. A lot." He chuckled. "Actually! T'was the longest makeout session in my life!" he joked. "But Benny stopped before it got err—serious."

"I see," Castiel commented.

"He explained that we were both drunk and that we'd regret the decision. He wanted us to have our minds clear. So we slept it off. He somehow managed to get me back on just for a little while, just to be on the safe side to not blow my cover. And he dropped me off at Lisa's, who I'd been flirting with for a while but nothing had happened yet."

Dean scratched his nose, reaching to the part of the story that hurt. "He was dating his girlfriend at that time. Two days later he apparently proposed to her and she said yes. Been married to Andrea ever since. The rest, you know. Lisa, Ben, Crowley behind bars, and me back in the Force."

Castiel nodded. Dean was still avoiding his gaze but he heard the small 'hmm'.

"Do you regret it?" Castiel finally asked.

"What happened? No." Dean replied with assurance, facing Castiel. It was a memory he will cherish despite the small pang in his heart. "That nothing happened? I don't know," he answered honestly. "Anyways, he moved on, I moved on, he's one of my best friends, so we're cool."

"Have you?" Castiel asked, head slightly tilted.

"What?"

"Moved on?"

Dean laughed. "Dude, I was with Lisa for years! Yeah, you bet I moved on!"

Castiel did not look convinced but he did not push. He took his beer and slowly drank a few gulps. Dean really needed his urgently. He gestured again to Ellen who shot him a warning glance. He grinned and looked down. A part of him was wondering if he really was over Benny. The feelings he had for him were different than the ones for Lisa. He still found his friend attractive and perhaps the lower part of his body would not be against some action with him. But, thinking back at that time, Dean knew that his affection for Benny shifted.

He still considered Sammy his best friend, despite all these years, but in reality it was Benny who was there and helped him. Even Lisa could not bring him solace like Benny did. No, he decided. Benny was his friend, and that was it. Plus, he could not ignore that little spark in his heart whenever he thought about Castiel, who was single, his mind reminded him. Fuck it, he thought. Feelings! That's crap! He better drown himself in alcohol and forget all about them. Why did he even talk about that to Castiel? Should have lied through his teeth, really.

"It was hard," Castiel suddenly began, putting his empty glass down. "When Meg came to the office, seeing her but not being allowed to hold her."

Dean looked up and the moment their gaze met, Castiel diverted his eyes, focusing on his beer instead.

"She was the one who pushed for us to get together and it was really nice. She taught me what intimacy was and… I was glad and then resented her for it. Because when we broke up, she took it all away from me," he explained, his voice low. "My mother, as you know, was not really effusive. Having someone next to you, it was new. It took me a while to get over that. The worst part is that she is my closest friend. Despite her attitude, she cares deeply. And I will always love her," Castiel admitted.

"Wow, dude!" Dean exclaimed before he could catch himself, then instantly regretted it.

"I do. Really. Love takes many forms and my love for her is different now. I can only imagine that the feelings you have for Benny and Lisa are similar to this. But the need for intimacy cannot be assimilated as the feeling you have for a lover."

It was too much for Dean. There was too much to think about. He was getting fidgety, he did not know what to say, what to answer. Laying his soul bare was one thing. But for Castiel to do it too, trusting Dean to listen to him. It was too intimate for him. Dean was used to either get crushed and soldier on, or lie as a coping mechanism. Talking to Lisa had been difficult and that was months ago. Repeating the same with Castiel? Hell no. Once every few years was enough.

He scooted over on the bench and got up, excusing himself with a mumble about taking a piss. He did not look at Castiel and went straight past him to the restroom. He emptied his bladder and tried to regain some sense of calm. Again, his thoughts were a maelstrom of conflicting and opposite ideas. He really couldn't think. He felt humiliated and ashamed, which he knew was utter crap. He also felt pressure to become… something. He did not know what. It was all too probable that Castiel had too high expectations of him. Meeting Benny's, Bobby's, even Victor's and his other friends' was easy. It was just a question of 'not screwing things up'. Meeting Sammy's and his parents' was way more difficult. And now Castiel's went to that same bag, but he had not disappointed him as he already did with his family. God! He was such a screw up, he thought.

He washed his hands and splashed some water over his face. He had to get himself in check. When he was convinced he could face Castiel without another freak out, he walked back in and sat in front of him. During his absence, Ellen had brought the burgers and two full glasses of beer.

He looked at Castiel who did not show any sign of… anything, really. There was a tension between them and it was awkward.

Castiel took a fry and started to eat. Dean followed suit.

"I cannot imagine what the third movie will be about," Castiel said after a couple of minutes. Dean could have kissed the guy for changing the subject.

"Did you take a look? Got yourself spoiled or something?" Dean asked, eating a lukewarm fry.

Castiel shook his head. "No, I avoided anything related to Back to the Future. Meg blackmailed me and asked for her Monday in exchange for her silence."

"She's tough," Dean commented.

"She is. I had to accept otherwise I'm sure I would have found the whole movie's script scribbled in post-it all over my desk!" Castiel assured, rolling his eyes and making Dean laugh loudly. It was good, they were back on track.

They discussed some more and spent the rest of the evening as all the others. They ordered two coffees, black, to try to disperse all the alcohol they drank. Castiel insisted that it was useless but Dean said it was worth a shot. They talked some more before heading back to Chicago. It was well after 1am when Dean left Castiel with a "See ya tomorrow Cas!"

(***)

Dean spent the whole Thursday thinking about "Am I dating Cas? Is he aware? Are we dating? Are we just bros hanging out?" to the point that he almost missed a detail during his investigation. The precinct where the investigation for Martin's was officially led (Captain Singer could not manage to get the file back, as there was no real reason for it, but Dean suspected it was a political decision) had a mismatch report in their evidence file. It looked as if a cellphone was recovered on Martin's body but not listed in the official reports.

He immediately called Victor, who was out collecting a statement from someone who claimed to have seen Bela Talbot. His partner did not pick up so he left a message explaining the situation and asking Victor to go there to that precinct to pick up the phone.

Victor's reply came with a simple text a few minutes later. He could not do such a thing because it was not allowed and he had no contacts there. He also advised to call Benny who worked there for a few months. Dean did not waste any more time. He dialed Benny's phone and soon heard the rough southern drawl.

"Hey Benny," he greeted him. "I'm sure you're going to do me a favor!" he joked.

"Hello to you too, Dean. What is it this time? I swear if you're moving out of that butthole apartment of yours, you're gonna find other people to help!" Benny replied.

"Nah, it's about Martin," Dean explained in a more serious tone.

"Alright, shoot, brother."

Dean clarified his problem and what he needed Benny to do.

"So basically, you want me to break into the evidence room to get a phone and check the records?" Benny resumed.

"Yep."

"If I get fired over this, I swear I'm living off your salary for the rest of your damn life!" Benny shot but Dean saw right through it.

"If you're making that gumbo, I don't mind!" he replied, making Benny chuckle.

"Alright, brother. Let me see what I can do."

"Thanks Benny."

Dean's investigation was stuck and that phone could be the only piece that led to a new lead. Despite interrogating everyone around the block where Martin died, Victor had come back empty-handed. And according to Bobby's information, the detective in that precinct did not find anything either. They were all stuck and the only thing Dean had in his possession was Martin's file during his time in Crowley's.

About one hour before the end of his shift, he received a text from Benny.

"Totally broken" he read and immediately typed "Get it anyway".

He left his desk and walked down to the basement where Garth and Ash held their fort. It was a conversation to be kept off the record.

He walked down the flight of stairs and through the various corridors before reaching the IT room. He knocked twice and opened the door. Both Garth and Ash did not pay him a glance, too busy furiously typing on their computers.

He cleared his throat.

"Just a second," Garth said, not looking up from his screen.

Dean waited for a couple of minutes. He cleared his throat louder when he realized they were totally ignoring him. Finally Garth looked up. "Hey Dean!" he smiled before turning to Ash. "Pause, dude."

"Right… I was totally winning anyway." Ash commented with a satisfied nod.

"Come on, you weren't! Did you already write the loop?"

"Course I did!"

"Oh… okay maybe you were a little ahead then."

Dean took a step forward. "Guys?" he insisted, his voice louder harsher.

"Right, Dean! What can we do for you?" Garth asked and turned toward Dean.

"Is there a way to extract some information from a broken phone?" he asked.

Garth nodded. "Yes, of course. Unless the phone is totally smashed or burned, usually there are ways to get some data from it."

"Right. Cause-"

"But," Garth interrupted him. "There is an official path to do it. You have a dedicated lab for such evidence."

Dean cringed a bit. "Let's imagine that I need those data urgently."

"You better send them urgently, then," Garth replied.

"Dude!" Ash shot. "Is this about the same case as the file you asked?"

"Yes. I may or may not have an important piece of evidence. Would you guys be able to do it?"

Garth shot a glance at Ash who looked back at him. Suddenly, Garth stood up. "I don't know about you guys, but I really need coffee. See you in five minutes." He walked past Dean and pat him gently on the shoulder, forcing him inside the room, then closing the door behind him.

"Tell me all about it," Ash said.

Dean explained the case, letting out the fact that himself was undercover.

"But then," he said, "the telephone was listed on this report here, but not on the official one."

"You think a cop is involved?" Ash asked.

"Honestly, no. I just hope it was a case of simple mistake. But I'd like to avoid to send the phone for data inspection through the official channel as it was listed on another precinct."

"That might raise some suspicions," Ash commented.

"Yeah, it might."

"But dude, why don't you let the other detectives do their job? Why are you so inclined to deal with this? And yeah you said he's a friend, but really."

"Might be linked to the Crowley's organization. There might be one of them still out there," Dean explained.

Ash sighed. "Look, I'm gonna need a bit more than this. What you're asking is kinda big deal."

"Yeah, I know. But it's important. It's the only lead I got. All the others are dead-ends. And I want to catch his killer, you know?"

Ash did not seem convinced.

"Do you trust Captain Singer?" Dean asked.

"Yeah, dude, of fucking course!" Ash shot back with a face.

"Then ask him about it," Dean replied. "I'm one of the good guys," he affirmed, knowing very well how cliché that sounded.

Ash leaned back a little and crossed his arms. "You know what? Maybe I will."

The door opened and Garth entered, two cups of steaming coffee in hand. "Aaaand you're still here!" he said. "Great! I suppose it's time for me to go on a bathroom break?"

"Nah, it's cool man," Ash stopped him. "Dean, I'll let you know. I just need to think about it."

"Right, great. Thanks, I guess." Dean said and with that, left their fortress to go back to his desk. Once he sat down, he realized Benny had texted him, telling to meet at the coffee shop down the street, the one where Donna get her donuts.

Dean was a little frustrated, but he could not hold a grudge against Ash, who was doing his job. If a new guy, who just joined the precinct, would ask for such favors, without any assurance, he too would need to think about it.

He took his jacket and walked down the street to meet with Benny who showed up twenty minutes later. They hugged and without a word, Benny handed the phone, wrapped in a brown paper.

"I swear Dean, you better have a good idea of what you're doing." Benny warned.

"I hope so…" Dean admitted. "Thanks, really."

"Yeah, well, better watch out when I ask for a favor!" Benny shot back, half-joking.

Dean grinned. "How are you doing?" he asked after they gulped their coffee down.

Benny shrugged. "A little bit of this, a little bit of that, keeps me busy."

Well, that wasn't really a good omen, Dean thought. Benny seemed down and he still wasn't willing to talk to him.

"What are you gonna do with this?" he asked.

"Tried to get Ash to find whatever was on it," Dean explained. "But I'm not sure he trusts me enough to do it."

"In case you need help, brother, let me know," Benny said. "My assignment, it's a witness protection. Got some serious skills apparently."

"Thanks Benny, but I really don't want to involve outsiders, plus I'm not sure your witness is willing to do it either."

Benny raised one eyebrow and leaned a bit further on the table. "Don't worry about it. She's a real redhead. You should hear her talk about social justice! Learned a lot though."

Dean laughed. "You're married dude, don't get involved like that," he said, making Benny's eyes roll back in his head so far, Dean worried they might get stuck.

"Seriously, brother?!" Benny shot back with a face.

Dean frowned and apologized. "Sorry, that was out of line."

"Plus, she totally bats for the other team," Benny said. "Really, it's sad she's under heavy protection, she's great. You'd love her."

"Maybe once she gets out of this mess." Dean said. "You better keep her safe." he finished.

"Have I ever not delivered?" Benny asked with a smirk.

"Nah, she's in good hands," he approved.

A few minutes later, Benny had to leave and Dean returned to the precinct, having thanked his friend thoroughly. When he entered the room, he saw Ash's back in the corridor, just before taking the stairs. Dean sat at his computer and a few seconds later, he received an email from Ash. "Dr Bad-Ass in IN" was all it read.

Without losing any more time, he walked down, the brown package in hand. Once he entered the room, Garth rolled his eyes and left again. Dean took the phone out. It was a smartphone, not a recent generation though. The screen was smashed to pieces and it all seemed a bit crooked. It gave the impression that someone tried to smash it with a hammer or step on it.

Ash took a look at it. "I don't have the right connectors here. I'll give you the result tomorrow, that alright?"

"Yeah! Great! Thanks a bunch!"

His head filled with hope for a new lead, Dean finished his shift and left for the theater, where Castiel would, without a doubt, wait for him. And right he was. At the same stop than last week and the previous, Castiel was standing, arms hanging along his body, a little stiff. Again, he smiled as soon as he spotted Dean.

"Hello Dean."

"Heya Cas, I hope you didn't get the tickets yet?" Dean asked.

"Well…" Castiel replied with a raised eyebrow. "Actually I got this week's and… and the next." he admitted. "They will show a movie I haven't yet seen but heard a lot about. And I was wondering if maybe you would like to join me?"

Dean let out a loud laugh and smacked his hand over Castiel's shoulder. "Yeah, of course. What's the movie?"

"The Rocky Horror Picture Show."

"Holy crap!" Dean exclaimed before he could stop himself.

"Have you seen it? It is bad?" Castiel asked with a little crease between his eyes.

Dean opened his mouth and closed it. He tried to find the right words. But seeing Castiel's worried look, he just chuckled. "It's a great movie. You'll like it," he assured and clasped his hand on Castiel's shoulder another time.

"Let's go, then. Oh, and because you got the tickets, next Wednesday is on me!" Dean affirmed.

"Dean, there's no need to-"

"Nah," he cut, "called it first. If you wanna help, find the place, alright?"

Castiel nodded, a smile spread on his lips. "I will."

As they walked toward the entrance, Dean could not stop himself from being glad Castiel was so eager to meet with him. First every Wednesday, now every Wednesday and Thursday. It was great. Not only did it take Dean's mind of Martin's and Bela's case, but Castiel was great company and they really got along fine. More than fine actually. And Dean was possibly as eager as Castiel to meet up with him. More eager even. Okay, if he was honest, he may have developed a little crush on the guy. But, come on! He was good looking, incredibly smart, and funny even if sometimes not on purpose. Their conversation went from movies to food to politics. What Dean liked was Castiel's opinions were not shifting all over the place. He usually took Dean's points into consideration and offered counter-suggestions. He was also a great listener and really, Dean must make his ears bleed with his stories about Sammy and Baby.

As soon as he sat down, in the middle row, he could hear Victor's voice saying "You're totally dating!" And okay, maybe they were! But Castiel did not try anything so maybe he was not aware of that.

Unfortunately, Dean's mind circled back to the dating-thing and he did not really enjoy the movie the way he had wanted. Despite glancing at Castiel during his favorite bits, he left a little frustrated.

Thankfully, Castiel did not notice and without Dean even suggesting to give him a ride, he walked next to him toward Baby. Contrary to their usual drive, Dean talked about the movie, what Castiel liked, what he disliked.

"The best part is, if you watch the trilogy again, you'll notice stuff you haven't before."

"For example?" Castiel asked.

"In the first one, the mall is called the Two Pines Mall. But when McFly goes to the past, he runs over one pine. When he goes back to his time, the mall is called Lone Pine Mall. That was his doing."

"Interesting," Castiel acknowledge with a nod. "I shall rewatch the movies then."

Dean laughed. "Give it some time, Cas. Next week, it's… it's gonna be a bit different."

"How so?" he asked.

Dean chuckled, a little awkward. "Where do you stand on transsexuals, transvestites and homosexuality?"

Castiel turned an amused face. "Well, that sounds promising."

"Yeah," Dean laughed.

Castiel faced the road ahead. "I am supportive," he explained. "I try my best to be, really."

Dean sighed in relief.

They soon reached the little street and Dean parked in front of the office. Castiel always walked home from here so he must live in an adjacent street. Castiel climbed out of the Impala and thanked Dean again for the evening. Before he could slam the door, Dean called him.

"Yes Dean?"

"Cas, are we… are we dating?" he blurted, his mind short-circuiting him from expressing the question a more normal way.

To his surprise, Castiel's smile grew wide. "If you're asking, then you must already know the answer," he said, a little humor in his voice. He then shut the door and started to walk away.

Dean was dumbfounded. He saw Castiel, slowly strolling on the sidewalk. Before he could reach the end of the street, Dean scrambled outside the car.

"Cas!" he shouted, making Castiel stop and turn around. "Is that a yes?" he called, his voice loud.

He did not hear the laugh but noticed Castiel's shoulder tremble a little and possibly a smile on his face.

"Yes!" Castiel replied, just as loud. He gave a little bow with his head and went on his merry way.

Dean made a victory "Hell yeah!" and whooped before he could control himself. He felt a smile plastered on his face. They really were dating! A small voice in his mind told him that Victor was right all along but he silenced it. Victor would notice soon enough and brag about it.

He sat back behind the wheel and drove back to his apartment, happiness seeping through each of his pore. However, it all came to a halt when he saw Benny, sitting on the floor, against the wall next to his door, eyes closed, arms crossed on his drawn knees.

"Hey brother," Benny said when he opened his eyes and saw Dean standing in front of him.