Hey! New chapter!. Sorry about the delay, my birthday was this weekend and this week is finals so i'm a little spread thin! But here you go. Thanks for reading and please review.


He left early the next morning and I pulled my books out, trying to distract myself.

When that no longer worked, I sat down at my piano bench. I played with the keys a little, trying to find a rhythm with my right hand. It was hard to try and play without my left hand. It all felt clumsy and bumbling. I groaned and dropped onto my bed, burying my head in my pillow before I felt my phone buzz under me.

'Skype?'

I sat up and dropped onto my desk chair before calling her.

"What's wrong?" She asked as my screen popped up.

"Nothing, why?" I said and she raised her eyebrow at me.

"Don't try and lie to me Milton, you're terrible at it. Besides, it's written all over your face. It's a very expressive face." She said and I groaned before plopping my head into my hand.

"Jerry came over last night." I said.

"and…" she asked, her voice suggestive.

"and nothing happened. He doesn't want me." I said with a sigh before looking up at her.

"What happened?" She asked and I sighed.

"I had a nightmare and Jerry tried to comfort me. We almost kissed but he backed off and scooted away from me and he will barely touch me. He barely looked at me this morning and I screwed everything and he hates me because I'm so disgusting." I whispered.

"Milton, don't be ridiculous. I'm sure that's-"

"Please Kim, it has to be me. It's always me." I whispered.

"I just… What am I supposed to do now?" I asked, my voice cracking as tears began to prick my eyes.

"Milton, it's not you, you're great. Maybe you're misconstruing it. And it's definitely not you. It will never be you, I promise." She said and I sighed.

"I can't lose him because of this silly crush. I rather have him in my life forever than to you know fornicate with him once, or to lose him altogether.

"Or, you could fuck him and have him forever. Look Milton. He likes you, I know he does, hell, half of Seaford does, and those who think he doesn't, well, those are the idiot girls who are infatuated with the unattainable" She said.

"Oh, so me." I said and she rolled her eyes.

"Just talk to him. God, boys are so complicated." She said.

"I can't. I'll just… suck it up or something."

"Oh honey." She whispered and I sighed before turning in my chair.

"I've got to go. I'll see you later Kimmy." I said and she waved before I hung up.

"Knock Knock." I heard my mother say and my door slid opened. I wiped my eyes subtly and she sat on my bed.

"Hey." I said and she smiled.

"Hey honey." She said and I looked up to see my dad standing at my door.

"uh, what's going on?" I asked and she smiled sweetly.

"Your father and I wanted to talk to you about something important." She said and I sighed.

"What could you possibly want to talk about?" I asked.

"Well, Honey, we just want you to know that we love you so much and that we will always love you, no matter what." She said before looking back at my father.

"We know how important it is for you to know that you have our support, and so we want you to know that you can tell us anything." He said and I sighed.

"We also want you to know that we know how hard it is being a teenager, and we don't expect you to restrain from certain behaviors. However, we want you to be smart about it." She said and my father cleared his throat.

"Exactly, just because you can't get pregnant does not mean that protection can be foregone. Safety is much more important than his pleasure, and it's up to you to know your limits…" My father said, looking very uncomfortable.

"Please… please do not do this to me." I said.

"Honey, you're a smart kid, but we want to make sure you are informed." My mother said before putting a box on my bed.

"So, we got you some pamphlets. Just, don't be afraid to ask us for anything. Your safety is more important than embarrassment." She said and I dumped the box out.

"How to make anal sex pleasurable for you and your partner… No glove, no love… how to properly prep your partner… Oh my god." I said, dropping my head in my hands. On the top of the pile of pamphlets was a box of condoms and a bottle of lube.

"Safe sex is the best sex." My mother said and I groaned.

"Alright, I'm gay, there you go. I'm gay yes, but this… this is a little over the top and ridiculous." I said and my father sat down beside me.

"Milton, that is completely okay with us. We love you. We really do. And we want you to be informed." My father said.

"I appreciate the gesture, really I do, but I'm pretty sure none of this will be necessary. Like ever." I said.

"Honey, you never know when it'll happen. If you're in the heat of the moment, I don't want you to make the wrong choice when you could choose safety." My mother said and I groaned.

"Gah." I exclaimed as I flopped onto my back.

"Please leave." I said and I pointed to the door.

"Just, read the pamphlets alright?" My mom said and I groaned.

"Alright, I'll read them. Just leave." I said and my father got up.

"We love you Milton." My dad said and I nodded.

"Love you too." I said as I stared up at the ceiling.

"Hey Milton." Jerry said as he walked up to me. It was right before our gym class.

"Hey," I said, pulling my gym shorts up.

"What's wrong?" He asked and I pulled my sweater vest off before starting on the buttons.

"Here, let me." He said before unbuttoning the top button of my shirt. He followed it down until his hand was trailing across my waist band. I blushed and he trailed his hand over my chest.

"Damn, these are bad huh?" He said, his fingers ghosting over my bruised torso. I snatched my gym shirt up and threw it on. He pulled it down over my head.

"Where were you this morning?" I asked and he shrugged.

"I slept in." He said and I nodded.

"Are you still coming over to study?" I asked and he nodded.

"Of course. Wouldn't miss hanging out with you for the world." He said and I sighed.

"We've got to go to gym." I said and he nodded.

"Give me a minute." He said before pulling off his pants. I watched as he shimmied into some shorts that made his calves look really strong. He peeled his shirt off and I felt my mouth go dry as he pulled on a sleeveless shirt.

"Come on." He said, wrapping his arm around my shoulder.

I ducked my head, but let him lead me to the gym.

God, there was no way I would get over Jerry.

He put his backpack on my floor before laying down on my bed. I rolled my eyes, before crawling into my desk chair, my knees tucked into my chest.

"What are you doing?" He asked and I grabbed my ankles.

"We should really focus on studying today." I said and he furrowed his eyebrows.

"Yeah, but why aren't you on the bed?" He asked and I sighed.

"I think that it would be best if I sat at my desk today." I said and he sat up, crossing his legs.

"Yeah, I guess." He said before pulling his backpack closer to him. He leaned over off of the bed to look through his backpack and I watched as his shirt rose.

He sighed and leaned up.

"Milton, please come sit next to me on the bed." He said and I smoothed my hand over my desk.

"I'm quite fine at my desk… So what page were we on?" I asked as I began to flip through the history book.

"Milt." He said and I tried to keep my eyes on my book, I really did.

I was going to stay at my desk. I was not going to get sucked into Jerry's hopeless vortex of love.

I was a dirty rotten liar.

He was standing in front of me, holding his hand out. I grabbed it and he dragged me onto the bed so that we were sitting together.

"Alright, so, let's talk about the beginning of the civil war." I said , flipping opened his book. He closed it and slid it away from me.

"I… I wanna talk about something else." He said and I nodded.

"Sure, do you wanna go back over the Great Compromise?" I asked.

"No."

"Okay, then Mexican American War? I've been going very fast this week, I can understand you-"

He put his hand on my mouth and took a deep breath. He leaned into me and I watched as he closed his eyes and shook his head. He was shaking.

"Jerry…" I breathed and he pressed his lips to mine. My heart raced in my chest as I felt his hand find my chin. He stroked my chin with his thumb and I closed my eyes.

He pulled back, looking down at the bed.
"What was that?" I asked and he cleared his throat.

"I- was that okay?" He asked and I swallowed.

"Why?" I asked and he ran his hands through his hair.

"Isn't it obvious Milton? I kind of like you." He said and I furrowed my eyebrows.

"Me? Jerry, you can't like me. Look at me. Besides, you're straight."

Please stop talking.

"I really wish people didn't tell me who I was and what I liked. I like you alright. I do. I think you're beautiful." He said and I shook my head.

"You like girls." I said, bewildered.

"Yeah, and I like you. What's the big deal? Why does it matter?" He said, pulling away from me.

Seriously Milton, you're ruining everything. Keep your mouth shut.

"Because you like me… Why do you like me? I'm just me."

"Because I think you're attractive, and funny, and smart and nice and other adjectives that would fit in my mamì's telenovela's. I just like you… I wasn't reading this wrong was I? I did didn't I. Of course you wouldn't like me. Really Jerry, really?" He said and I grabbed his hands.

"Of course I like you. I've liked you since seventh grade." I said and he smiled up at me.

"Good." He said and I smiled back.

"Good." I said back, my hand trailing up to play with his ear.

"Bueno" He said before leaning back in to kiss me.

I never wanted this to stop.