Chapter 7

Frosty looked down at the Science Ninjas assembled below him, his smiling, rotund face somehow managing to appear menacing as he contemplated them. Without warning, his foot lifted into the air then moved down rapidly, approaching them with increasing speed.

"It's the Staypuff Marshmallow Man!" Ken screamed in horror, throwing himself out of harm's way.

"Aniki, it's Frosty!" yelled Jinpei as he rolled out from underneath the snowman's massive foot. "Remember the song?"

"I've always liked that one." Ryu grinned as he threw himself against the snowman's foot in an offensive maneuver.

"Yo-Yo Strike!" came a shout from the other side of the foot, while Joe decided that it was time to pull out his cablegun.

A soft 'boom' and a cloud of smoke came from behind Frosty's boot, and the snowman howled in rage.

"You've only made him angry, Swan!" the deer shouted. "Go for the hat!"

"The hat?" Jinpei was confused.

"Don't you remember the song? The hat!" the deer practically screamed.

"I'm on it!" Joe cried, launching his cablegun and using it to pull himself up to Frosty's knee. The Swan saw what he was doing and followed with her Yo-Yo, while Jinpei and Ryu came up behind her, using the Owl's cablegun.

Gatchaman initiated a spectacular series of martial arts maneuvers. Unfortunately, none of them came anywhere close to Frosty.

"I'll get you Staypuff! No Rice Krispies for your marshmallow today!" Ken cried.

The Eagle's meaningless shouts were drowned out by the sound of maniacal laughter coming from the mouth of the snowman.

"Want… some… cookies….?" Frosty boomed.

Immediately, a shower of white spheres came out of Frosty's mouth. Joe and Jun were able to dodge the hail of cookies, but Ryu and Jinpei were hit, resulting in a series of white, powdery explosions that engulfed them completely.

"Jinpei!" screamed the Swan in horror.

"I'm okay, Onechan!" came a muffled voice. Two white figures emerged from the area of the explosion.

"It's sugar!" the Owl cried joyfully. "Now, where did I put my emergency sugar bag? I'm sure it could use a refill…"

"I think you left it in the Queen Ant mecha!" Jinpei hissed angrily. "We're a little busy here, Ryu!"

"We have to reach the hat!" Joe shouted down to Jun.

"I'll try!" the Swan replied, passing the Condor and throwing out her Yo-Yo. The red and yellow disc struck the bottom of Frosty's hat, and there was a small explosion.

"Aaaaaaarrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhh!" cried Frosty, stumbling slightly. But when the smoke cleared, the area of damage was small in comparison to the size of the snowman's top hat.

"It's not strong enough!" Jun reported. "This could take all night! We need something more powerful!"

"Something that really packs a blast…" Joe muttered. He looked down at the crumbling remnants of the Snack J, and an idea came to his mind, even as the angry snowman began grabbing for the Condor.

"Ken!" Joe shouted at the dazed Eagle. "The fruitcake! Throw up the fruitcake!"

"Throw away the fruitcake!" Gatchaman cried. "Great idea, Joe!" Immediately, the White Shadow ran to the table where Granny's fruitcakes still lay. He grabbed them all up, and one by one tossed them up and over his shoulder.

The Swallow flew out into the air, grabbing the noxious baked goods and gliding back down to Frosty's knee.

"Pass them along, Ryu!" he cried, throwing them up one at a time to the Owl, who was now located at Frosty's midsection. The Owl threw the fruitcakes to the Condor on Frosty's arm, who passed them on to the Swan.

Standing on Frosty's shoulder, Jun caught the first fruitcake, and threw it at the snowman's hat. Just before it impacted, she tossed her Yo-Yo into the brightly wrapped cellophane package, and set off her charge.

The resulting explosion was at least ten times greater than the Swan's Yo-Yo alone. Jun had to scramble for cover as flaming chunks of ceramic wreckage and a rain of powdered sugar hurtled in her direction.

But it wasn't enough.

"More fruitcakes!" she screamed, and the Condor obligingly threw up another. A third one arrived just as the second one detonated, and the attack began anew. By the time all six fruitcakes had been sent up (Dr. Nambu had conveniently 'forgotten' to take his home) Frosty's head was a massive, smoking crater, with only one large chunk of hat remaining.

"You don't even have a snowball's chance in Hell, Frosty!" Joe cried, as the Swan detonated the final fruitcake over the former cookie jar's head.

The final section of the hat exploded, and there was a sharp cry from Frosty's mouth. The mecha began to shake violently, tossing the ninjas to and fro.

"Time to go!" Joe ordered, and everyone jumped off, gliding back down to the floor of the Snack J. Jun grabbed Ken as she landed, and the pair threw themselves into the corner of the restaurant. Ryu, Jinpei, and the deer took cover in the opposite corner. Joe dove quickly behind the bar.

The sound of metal stress filled the air, and without further warning the mecha exploded, raining down flaming chunks of metal, ceramic pottery, and of course, powdered sugar.

"It's caramelizing!" moaned Ryu hungrily, and the Owl leapt up, running out into the disastrous mess of a restaurant to stuff gobs of molten hot sugar into his mouth.

"How do you do that through your visor?" Jinpei asked curiously. The Swallow picked up a handful of the sugar and sniffed at it, before touching his tongue to the mixture.

"Not bad." he shrugged.

Joe emerged cautiously from behind the bar, staring wide-eyed at the crumbling remnants of the Snack J, the smoking pieces of snowman mecha, and a hungry Ryu who was greedily stuffing molten sugar into his mouth as fast as he could.

"Where are Jun and Ken?" the Condor asked, looking around.

The corner of the Snack J, where the Swan and the Eagle had taken cover, was now a pile of rubble. A light layer of powdered sugar was beginning to settle upon the crumbling chunks of cement and twisted metal that littered the area.

"Onechan!" Jinpei cried out, rushing over to the pile and digging as fast as he could. Joe and Ryu quickly joined him. A muffled sound was heard inside the rubble.

"What happened…?" came the Eagle's voice. "Where…?"

"You're safe, Ken." Jun's voice replied.

"Who are you… a Christmas Angel?" the Eagle's voice whispered so softly that Joe barely heard it.

"No, I'm the Christmas Queen."

"Christmas Queen?"

"Yes. Now, don't you have a kiss for the Christmas Queen?"

Jinpei rolled his eyes as he worked, while Ryu simply smiled and shrugged.

"Look at it this way: at least we know they're okay." Joe grinned.

"Depends on your point of view." Ryu replied. "Ken might not think so tomorrow…"

The Owl pulled off the last chunk of rubble, revealing a disheveled, helmetless Swan and Eagle making out for all they were worth.

"Get a room!" Jinpei laughed.

An embarrassed, yet triumphant, Jun pulled away from Ken, staggering to her feet as she carefully replaced her helmet.

"Maybe I should have kept just a little of that fruitcake…" she mused.

"What…?" Ken was clearly doing his best to find his sanity as he put his helmet back on and pulled himself out of the rubble. The Eagle shook his head, his eyes clearing to some degree.

"What the hell just happened here?" he demanded, looking over at Joe for a report.

"Well, while you were engaged in your fruitcake-induced hallucinations, the snowman cookie jar transformed into Frosty the Galactor mecha." Joe began. "After it attempted to squish us with its massive foot, were able to destroy it by exploding Granny's fruitcakes on its hat. After that, the whole thing blew apart and we all took cover. Then you started sucking face with Jun…"

"I think that's enough." Ken waved his hand tiredly. "But explain one more thing to me."

"What's that?"

"What is this?" The Eagle pointed at the deer.

"I think the word you are looking for is who." the deer corrected politely. "My name is Rudolph. I am pleased to meet you, Gatchaman."

Ken's eyes grew wide.

"You're talking!" he exclaimed fearfully.

"Didn't we already go through this?" Rudolph sighed.

"Hey, I thought you said you weren't one of Santa's reindeer!" Jinpei accused Rudolph.

"I'm not." Rudolph shrugged. "What, do you think Kris Kringle copyrighted the name? And you should see my nose…"

"Why are you here, Rudolph?" asked Ken, who was still clearly confused, but apparently somewhat less frightened by the idea of a talking deer than he had been a moment earlier.

"Finally, someone who gets right to the heart of the matter!" Rudolph grinned. "Let me explain."

"I'm all ears." Ryu said.

"Actually, you're all sugar right now." Jinpei sniffed. "How much of that stuff did you eat?" Ryu shrugged.

"Anyway," Rudolph painfully attempted to ignore the Owl's and the Swallow's conversation and return to what he had originally been trying to say. "I come from the Isle of Misfit Mecha."

"You mentioned something about being a misfit before." Joe recalled.

"Yes. All of the mecha on the Isle are misfits. We were all built with at least one flaw." Rudolph explained. "For a long time we lived in peace and harmony, but then one day Berg Katse discovered us. He said he had been drawn to the Isle because of its crescent shape… Anyhow, I gather we weren't the island he had been searching for."

"Thank goodness!" Jinpei commented.

"Not for us." Rudolph said dryly, staring hard at the Swallow before continuing. "Katse was amazed by the mecha he saw living on our Isle. He wanted to make a treaty with us."

"And did you?" the Swan asked.

"Yes." Rudolph replied. "We didn't see any other choice. We had all heard stories of Galactor, and knew that we didn't have too many options. In any case, the more gullible among us… myself included… actually believed Katse when he said that he was only going to 'borrow' a few of us, and leave the rest of us in peace."

"Katse got mecha from your island?" Ken exclaimed in horror.

"Too many." Rudolph shook his head sadly. "There was the Mole mecha who couldn't be in the sun, the Lava Giant mecha who was drawn to water, the Square Bowling Ball mecha who couldn't roll, the Mummy mecha who would only move to music… and the list goes on."

"But… we fought all of those mecha!" Jinpei protested.

"Yes, that was why Katse wanted them!" Rudolph rolled his eyes. "He began calling us his 'Plan B'. If his real mecha didn't work right, he would just come and take one of us, wipe our personalities, and use us for his own ends. Eventually, he decided to move many of us to his Jungle Island, which he was setting up as a trap for you all."

"So that's how he keeps coming up with new mecha so quickly!" Joe exclaimed, pounding his fist into his other hand.

"I heard about how you had destroyed the Ghost Island Mecha Factory." Rudolph continued. "And I don't want the same thing to happen to the Isle of Misfit Mecha. I understand now that Katse will never leave us alone. He'll just keep taking we mecha until there are none of us left. I am asking for your help to protect our Isle, and make it so that Katse can never steal our mecha again!"

"Of course we'll help." Jun said soothingly.

"I just have one question." Ryu said.

"What's that?" Rudolph said curiously.

"Why are you a misfit? I don't see anything wrong with you."

"I already told you!" Rudolph sighed. "I'm too small! Do you really think anyone would be threatened by someone my size?"

"But you're so cute…" Jun crooned.

"That's not exactly the primary quality Berg Katse is looking for in his mecha." the deer pointed out.

"Well for what it's worth, I like you." Ryu smiled.

"And you've certainly brought us some valuable information." Ken added. "We'd be glad to help you defend the Isle of Misfit Mecha against Galactor."

The other ninjas murmured their agreement.

"Well then, I guess I came to the right place after all." Rudolph said. "Even if it is a bit messy… to think I was worried about scuffing the door…"