I know I know! I'm the worst. I'll explain later. And yes its not as long either. I'm super sorry. Just please take this as an offering for now. What are you still doing here. GO!
My nose finally stopped bleeding once we reached the roof to Dauntless. Everyone started to jump off and I was half tempted to follow them. I really didn't want to talk to Eric, especially after what just happened at the fence. He's standing at the front of the car, his signature crossed armed leaning back against the wall pose going on. I'm at the back, in the same pose with blood staining my hands, face and chest. He leans over a bit to close the train car door once everyone's off. Oh hell.
We stand in silence for a bit, both staring at each other. I raise an eyebrow as he stands up straight and closes the distance between us. He grabs my chin and lifts my head up so he could look at my nose, but this was different. This was the hand I felt my first day on the roof and again in the infirmary, gentle and warm. Stop it. You're mad at him, he's mad at you. Be angry, stupid.
"It's not broken, but it'll hurt like hell for a while. Would you like to tell me why Jayden slammed you into the wall?" Eric asks, his voice wasn't like it was yesterday, gruff and leader in training. It was gentle like his hands. I look at him warily for a moment, waiting for the leader to come out, but it didn't come. I plaster a sarcastic smile on my face, feeding off the pep talk in my mind.
"Hi Eric, it's nice to see the real you again too. If this is the real you. Are you here to stay or do you plan on having another mood swing sometime soon?" He rolls his eyes and a scowl graces his face, but I kept going. "Because your mood swings are giving me whiplash. One minute you're a babysitter who likes sharpening knives for fun, the next you act like you give a damn. I need to know which is which, because I can't deal."
He sighs, frustration clear on his face, his grey eyes bright in the shadowed car. His grip on my chin tightens. He walks us backwards until my back is fully against the wall behind me, pinning me to it. There he is. "Are you always this hard headed?"
"Usually." I attempt to shrug, giving a half smile as he growls.
"Right now I'm trying to be nice, so will you please answer me?"
"Is it always this difficult for you?" I cock my head to the side, as much as he'll let me. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, his other hand balling into a fist. "Fine, I'll throw you a bone. I'd rather not get hit again. How about answer for answer?" I offer, throwing my hands into the air in surrender as he opens his eyes and I can see the curiosity in them. "What's the catch?" He asks, raising an eyebrow.
I shake my head, his grip loosens a bit. "No catch. You ask a question, I answer, and vice versa. Actual answers, no skirting around it." He thinks about this for a moment then shrugs and nods waiting impatiently for me to go first. "Remember the missing guns incident last year that were going to the fence?" He nods again as he let go of my chin so I could speak better and also takes a step back and I shake off the warmth his hands left on my face, "Well when the idiots, I mean twins, left them on the train cause they were too busy talking about who they would try to bang next. I was hiding from someone in the back of the same car. So since I jumped off after them they assumed I hid the bag from them and took it so I could bring it back to the Factionless. They're not the brightest." I look down at the blood on my hands. "When I told them I didn't touch it and they were just forgetful, they tried to stab me for lying, but I was able to grab the knife from Hayden and stab Jayden and get away."
"So you were the little girl that sent Jayden to the infirmary for 3 days and ran off with his brother's knife." I smirk as I look up at Eric, who was amused, then gave a quizzical look. "Who were you running from?"
"Ah ah ah. My turn." I hold up a finger and he sighs. "What the hell was up with my gun punishment? Were you really going to shoot me?"
"No, I was trying to show you how serious the situation was. You need to think of the gun as an extension of your arm. And to use caution at all time. Which, you still have to make up the shooting part of the day." I huff as I slide down the wall to sit on the floor. He sits on the bench in front of me, looking down at me. "Now, who were you running from?"
You won't believe me when I tell you." I huff while he takes on his arms crossed pose.
"Try me."
"It was Peter and his 'friends'. They used to follow me 'home' after school to mess with me." He raises an eyebrow. "I was Factionless, not dead. Since I'm the first Factionless child to go through the faction initiation in like, ever, I didn't fit in so they wanted to make sure I never made it to Choosing Day. Guess I proved them wrong."
"I guess you did." He mumbles, almost unintelligible. We fell into silence for a bit after that, both of us listening to the train under us. It wasn't awkward, more comfortable than anything. How can this already be comfortable? He's made sure to always find something wrong with everything I do. After some time, he spoke up, "So I saw you talking to Ceylon the other day." It wasn't a question, but I answer anyway with a shrug.
"Yeah, I mean he was only introducing himself, but he seems nice."
"Yeah, but he's not. He likes to mess with girls, and not in a good way. I don't think it's a good idea if you two hang out." he says nonchalantly, or at least he tries to. There's a certain tone to his voice, more like a warning than a suggestion. Really?
I raise my eyebrows, balancing my arms on my knees, "Are you telling or suggesting that I don't hang out with him? And why does it matter who I do and who I don't hang out with? You don't own me." He exhales loudly through this nose, and I can tell I'm pissing him off again. Good.
"I'm telling you. He's a total jackass. And unless you want to end up dead, don't even go near him." His hands go down next to him, gripping the bench tightly until his knuckles turn white. "Even better, just don't get in trouble. Keep your head down and go through the rest of initiation without trouble." He adds in.
"I think I can look out for myself thanks." I give a small fake smile, and he growls
"Can't you just trust me and do as I say? Why must you always question everything I say?" He stands up and I jump up to my feet. There's a big height difference between us, so it looks like an adult scolding a child.
"Because, again, I was Factionless, not dead. So I have this magical superpower, called 'common sense'," I make air quotes with my hands then drop them to my sides, "So I can figure out for myself who I can trust and who I can't. And so far the guy who pointed a gun at my head for accidentally mishandling my gun is farther down the list than the guy who I just met."
He steps closer and his hands are in fists at his side. His jaw sets and his eyes harden, freezing the grey over. I stare right back at him, probably looking as intimidating as a baby kitten trying to get its first kill, but I don't care. I can tell he wants to say something else, but he doesn't. He chuckles darkly, backing up and walks towards the door, yanking it open roughly. He looks back at me, barely shaking his head. "Do whatever the hell you want. Become another statistic, I don't give a shit. Just don't expect someone to help you." And with that he jumps from the train, disappearing from sight.
What the heck was that? I started shaking my head and pacing around the car. Was he serious? I've been here how long and he wants to pull crap like that? I can't socialize with people I'm supposed to call my family? Just because of an accusation? Is that supposed to scare me into behaving and getting through initiation? Just because someone can easily take me out? And the most important question, why does he even care?
Walking towards the door, I shake my head and look down at the buildings flying by. I should be none of his concern outside of initiation. If I wanted to be heavily policed, I would have stayed at home in the Factionless. I wouldn't have begged my parents to put their life on the line for me to have a chance at being normal. I sigh and jump off the train at the last moment, landing on the same roof we entered Dauntless in on day one. My thoughts are going as I pace across the roof before sitting down on the edge right above the hole. Why is he so…so…jealous? Is that the right word for this? Is he worried I'll run off with the guy? And what does he mean by me ending up dead. He won't kill me...Right?
I shake my head once more, and realize I probably messed up, bad. He's a leader and all I've done is backtalk him since I've gotten here. If I don't get kicked out for failing first, I'm sure he'd be glad to send me back for mouthing off constantly. I'm sure he went back to Max to tell him how I don't follow direction and they put that in my record too. I guess I should apologies and go back to doing what I do best, keeping quiet and staying in the background. Which is what he wants. Sighing, I stand up and look back down at the hole before stepping off the edge into the black, feeling the rush of air until my back bounces off the net. My heart is in my throat as I laugh off the adrenaline from the fall. Then the net moved and I roll towards the edge, while two hands grab my waist and hoist me off. "Just who I was looking for." The hands say as I look up and see who they belong to. A big goofy smile and brown curls look down at me. Ceylon.
Tada! I know what your thinking. "You haven't posted in over a year and this is all you give us?!" Like I said I'm really really REALLY sorry. RL got the better off me and I lost my will to write. I got my wisdom teeth out, moved (twice), got sucked into my job where that was literally the only place I went. And every time I went back to the story I would only nit pick at what I already had and not keep going. But please tell me what you think.
