Severus knotted his fist in my hair and the next thing I knew he jerked my head back. I yelped softly as my whole body tensed around his cock. I struggled to escape, but he wasn't having that. He just tightened his grip, driving himself even deeper inside of me. I kept my eyes firmly shut and desperately clenched my teeth together. I was afraid, really afraid.
"Say it, Potter", Severus hissed into my ear. I hesitated a moment too long and Severus gave a painful tug at my hair. Tears stung my eyes and I squeezed them shut even more fervently as I drew in a whimpering breath.
"You know what I want to hear, Potter. Say that you're mine or you'll be sorry."
I shuddered.
"I'm y…yours, Severus", I managed to get out through gritted teeth. But it wasn't enough. He still didn't release me.
"You will never so much as look at that Weasley tramp again", he almost barked, as his hot, alcohol-laced breath fanned my cheek.
"For heaven's sake, Severus, I only asked her a question", I dared to complain.
He took my nipple between his fingers and pinched hard. I howled and cringed, wondering if my brain had fried from the pain because I actually found it exquisite.
"Wrong answer", Severus replied coldly.
"Please, sir", I begged, "I won't look at her again, I promise."
I was relieved that he let go of my hair then, stroking it instead.
"Better", he muttered a bit out of breath, as his cruel hands deftly found their way along my back towards my hips. He began to fuck me and I braced myself against his desk. I was sobbing by the time he came undone noisily. I bowed my head in shame, trying to catch my breath. I should let Voldemort curse me, Merlin knew I deserved it, because I'd enjoyed every sinful minute.
Then, quite instantly, fear kicked back in. I was afraid of what I would see when I opened my eyes again. Still I looked up, cowering slightly. I looked at the ashen faces of my classmates. It was awfully quiet in the classroom.
…HP/SS…
I woke with a start and found myself on a chair behind a wooden desk. It took me a moment to realize where I was. Library, right.
Apparently I'd fallen asleep, face down on a book about the use of potions within the Ministry. I flexed my shoulders. They had turned a bit stiff from sitting in the same position too long. I tried to rub the sleep out of my eyes and for a while I simply sat there, looking around.
"What a dream", I thought. Absent-mindedly I rubbed my half-hard cock through my jeans, then cursed under my breath and pulled my hand back. How sick had I become? I couldn't recall having those kinds of dreams a few months ago. With Ginny it had always been about kissing and maybe groping around a bit. But this…
I began to understand I wasn't my usual innocent self anymore. Severus was very slowly moulding me into a different person. Perhaps he did it unconsciously, but the effect was the same. Then again, had I really believed I would keep my innocence when I entered into a relationship with Severus of all people? Of course not. My disturbing fantasies were just proof of that.
Still, Severus wasn't the cruel, cold-hearted bastard he was in my dream. True, he might have his kinks, but I had also witnessed the warmth of this man. I knew Severus could be unbearably tender. I knew it because that was the reason I loved him. Every minute I could feel myself opening up more and more for him. There would come a moment, and perhaps it would already come soon, when I could imagine spending my life with him. I shook my head, feeling disoriented. We were barely three weeks into our romance, if that was what it was. Why was I thinking these things?
I gaped loudly, stretched my arms and legs and shot a glance at my watch.
"Bugger…", I whispered. It was almost seven o'clock. I had to hurry up if I didn't want to be late for my meeting with Dumbledore.
"So much for dinner", I thought.
I quickly grabbed my bag and wondered for a moment if I should put the book I'd been reading back on the right shelf. I shrugged, deciding it would take too much time. I closed the book carefully and sped towards Dumbledore's office. I was only a minute too late. I muttered the password; it was still the same as last year.
"Good evening, Harry", Dumbledore greeted me as I entered his office.
"Good evening, sir", I said, "I'm sorry that I'm a bit late. I fell asleep in the library."
Dumbledore chuckled: "No worries, Harry. Perhaps it would be wise to catch up on some sleep. I assume you are keeping yourself busy, as always, isn't it?"
I felt a blush crawl onto my cheeks.
"I guess so, sir."
"I'm sure you do. What with Quidditch practice and the upcoming exams, I suspect you have very little time left. Do take a seat, Harry."
I gratefully accepted his offer as it gave me time to collect myself again. I cursed myself for blushing so easily.
When I walked over to the chair I noticed something was lying on the desk. It was small but hard to overlook. I froze. A cold chill slithered across my spine as I saw what it was. Surely not…
On Dumbledore's desk was a small cup. It was blackened and bruised, like it had been in a fire and someone had tried to kick out the flames. I sank into the chair, heart battering against my ribcage.
Dumbledore regarded me kindly.
"Sir, is that…?", I asked in a raspy voice. I cleared my throat before I continued: "Is this…?"
Dumbledore just nodded. I stared at the cup as if it was the filthiest thing I had ever seen. Yet, I couldn't look away from it.
"How did you find it, sir?"
The strangest feeling bubbled up inside of me. I actually felt a pang of disappointment because Dumbledore hadn't bothered to take me along with him. All I did was skulk around in the castle all day, where everybody deemed it safe enough for the Golden Boy. I wanted to be able to do something to stop Voldemort. Even when it was highly dangerous and even though I also dreaded it. Severus would mock me if he knew about this. He would surely say those were a child's thoughts.
Dumbledore coughed, snapping me out of my musings.
"Well Harry, that is in fact the curious side to this story", Dumbledore told me, "I didn't find this horcrux, or at least not in the way you assume."
"What do you mean, sir?" I asked, wondering why he was always talking in riddles.
"It was on my desk yesterday, when I returned here after dinner", Dumbledore explained.
I blinked.
"You just found it here?" I blurted out.
Dumbledore lifted his shoulders, as if to say he was as flabbergasted as me. The gesture was almost comical, but somehow I couldn't find it in myself to laugh.
"How is that possible?" I asked, talking more to myself than to anyone else really. Dumbledore shifted slightly in his seat.
"That actually brings us to the reason I called for this meeting, Harry", he said.
The careful tone in his voice made me look up at him.
"Please don't take offence, Harry, for I know your intentions are good. But given the current turn of events, I hope you will understand that I have to ask. Did you perhaps tell anyone about the horcruxes?"
My mouth popped open of its' own accord.
"Of course not", I answered bluntly, insulted. Dumbledore raised his eyebrows and I backpedalled.
"I mean, who would I tell, sir? I confided in Ron and Hermione just as you told me. I have no reason at all to talk to anyone else about it."
Dumbledore nodded, waving his hand in dismissal of the thought.
"I didn't truly believe you would be that careless, Harry. Forgive me. I guess it is also a waste of time to ask if you were the one to destroy this horcrux?"
I threw him an incredulous look.
"I'm not a Slytherin, Professor. I'm not that cunning."
Dumbledore chuckled.
"I guess you aren't", he said, "Unfortunately, that doesn't bring us any closer to the identity of our ally."
I sighed. Perhaps I did let something slip unintentionally. Who had I been talking to lately? I mentally listed up the people closest to me.
Ron and Hermione, the Weasley family, my Quidditch teammates, the people in my class. One more unlikely than the other. Then there was of course…
No.
No, no, no.
That couldn't be. Surely he wouldn't be that stupid…
As my mind was frantically mulling over the possibility, it became clear to me that there was no other explanation. It had to be him. We'd been in each other's minds so often lately; it must have been child's play for him to pluck it out of my mind. I felt a flash of white hot anger go through me. How could he endanger himself like that? We would be having a serious heart-to-heart talk about this, of that I was sure. Perhaps the Veritaserum was forcing itself into the picture sooner than I had expected.
"Harry?"
Dumbledore was looking at me quizzically, reminding me I wasn't alone in the room. I clenched my teeth. Should I tell him? What harm could it do?
I cleared my throat again.
"I, ermm… I think I might have a clue as to who it could be, sir."
Dumbledore looked surprised. I sighed.
"I think it was Severus", I told him. I explained about the Occlumency lessons and how it would have been obviously easy for a skilled Legilimens as Severus to read the exact thoughts he wasn't supposed to know. Of course Severus would have been only too thrilled to play the hero. It crossed my mind that I should be grateful to him for doing this, but I quickly discarded the thought.
"Severus, Harry?" Dumbledore asked me again, a thoughtful look on his face. I nodded impatiently. Hadn't I just explained it all?
"I hadn't realized you two were on first name basis by now", Dumbledore simply said, scrutinizing me from behind his glasses.
Oh.
I immediately dropped my gaze. I couldn't bear to look Dumbledore in the eye as he assessed the furious blush that was spreading across my face. I knew I needed to reassure him, act as if nothing, really nothing, was going on, but I couldn't find words. I was betraying myself and there was simply nothing I did to stop it. An eternity passed as I waited for him to start questioning me. He would surely be disgusted. How could he not be? Tears threatened to brim over but I angrily blinked them back. Now was not the time.
Finally Dumbledore coughed and said: "Well, I think you might be right, Harry. About the horcrux I mean. Perhaps we should pay Severus a visit and ask him face to face."
I looked back up. Dumbledore's face was kind at least. I didn't know what to do with myself, so I only nodded.
"All right then", he said as he stood up from his chair. I blinked at him, confused.
"What, right now?" I asked.
"Yes Harry," Dumbledore answered, "I don't think we should be wasting any more time in getting our theory confirmed."
I got up hesitantly. I wasn't sure how I felt about it, but I sensed it would be unwise to argue his point. So I decided to keep my mouth shut and followed Dumbledore out of his office. It was an awkward walk to Severus' quarters.
After a while Dumbledore cleared his throat and said: "I hope, Harry, that you know you can tell me if there is something wrong."
I took a deep breath and made sure to look him steadily in the eye when I said: "I know. But there's nothing wrong, really."
Dumbledore sighed.
"I had a feeling you would say that", he replied.
When we had reached Severus' private rooms, Dumbledore knocked on the door. It quickly became apparent there wasn't anybody there.
"Perhaps he's in the potions' classroom, sir", I suggested.
I turned around to head there straight away, but Dumbledore took me by the arm.
"Just a moment, Harry", he said. "There is a faster way to find out."
He cast a spell that I was unfamiliar with and I suddenly felt a trickle pass through my spine. It only lasted a second. I looked up at him questioningly.
"Oh dear", he murmured while rubbing his temples. I had never seen Dumbledore rub his temples. It was a frightening sight.
"What is it, sir?" I asked, "Didn't you find Severus?"
He shook his head.
"I'm afraid not, Harry. He's not in the castle."
I hesitated, thinking over the possibilities.
"Sir, perhaps Voldemort might have summoned him?"
"It is possible, Harry, but I don't think so. Severus would have told me if he needed to leave."
Dumbledore gently placed a hand on my shoulder and I braced myself.
"I'm afraid that you were right, Harry. He's gone. It seems to me that Severus is indeed in hunt for horcruxes."
I had to bite back the bile of fear that rose in my throat.
