Chapter 7.
By the end of the week for the most part Chuck felt much better. He knew he still had some issues to work out, and he had been informed by Sarah they have an approved psychiatrist for him to talk to when they get back, but for the moment he felt as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders.
At first he dreaded having his handlers so close to him and his sister, feeling the stress of trying to talk to her and having privacy took its toll on him the first couple days. But having his sister there with him, continuing to try with him to try to communicate made him feel lighter and happier than he's felt in a long time. For the first time since this whole thing happened, Chuck felt like he wasn't alone.
With that being said the tension between Ellie and Sarah had become so thick that Chuck was sure he could slice it with one of Sarah's knives. Ellie was still very angry over Sarah's deceit even though Chuck explained to her the necessity of it. But Ellie, while understand still felt betrayed and the stress of it was causing severe delays in Chuck's recovery.
"Ellie, Please, I'm begging you. Let Sarah be. Don't forgive her if you can't but please just, be friendly. For me." He begged her on the last night they were there. He was sitting on their bed, cross legged as he watched his sister put on makeup, something he used to do a lot growing up.
The situation brought back both painful and happy memories of their childhood, before their father had left. Ellie, while taking the responsibility of raising Chuck and taking care of the house still felt the freedom a little to be a kid. She would occasionally go out on dates and Chuck would sit on her bed and watch her put on her makeup while he told her about his day.
Tonight was far different from those times back then. Times that seemed hard at the time but were simple in comparison to now.
He didn't want to go out. Didn't feel like getting dressed up for a meal. He wasn't even that hungry although he had started to regain his appetite back much to Ellie's elevation. But Sarah had suggested since it was their last night there they should all dress up and go to dinner.
"I know Chuck. I promise tonight I will be on my best behavior. Alright?" She promised putting her lipstick on before turning towards him.
He sat with his legs crossed and elbows on his knees. He heard Ellie tisk at the thought of wrinkling his nice clothes but she just walked over to him and sat on the bed next to him.
"I don't want to do this, can't we just say here?" he pleaded with her. She shook her head.
"This will be fun Chuck it's out last night here then back to the real world."
"The real world where I'm alone again, stuck in a never ending situation beyond my control."
"The real world where I'm there for you when you need to talk to me, or just need a friend. " Ellie told him encouraging. But Chuck had his doubts. He wasn't sure how much he would be permitted to tell her. And everyplace he went was bugged. This was the most privacy he's had in two years.
"I can't go back to how it was Ellie. The lack of privacy, the being alone. The lying. It's too much for me." He admitted softly. Ellie leaned over and placed her arm around her brother.
"I know sweetie. But I need you to trust me Chuck. I'm your sister, and your doctor. I'm not going to let you feel that way anymore. You have me and I am completely on your side. You're not alone anymore."
Chuck turned his head to hide the tear that had fallen from the side and wiped it away, he didn't know what to say, but he was glad she was on his side.
A knock at the door and grunt informed them that Casey and Sarah were ready and that it was time to go. They both paused to give each other a look before breaking out into laughter.
The restraint Sarah picked was exquisite. There was no other term for it. Chuck felt slightly underdressed there especially with his trademark Chucks on but he kept his focus down on the ground and allowed Ellie to drag him to the table.
Once the wine was ordered and the food was on its way conversation came to a halt as the tension rose. Chuck could feel it as thick as smoke in a fire and wondered idly if he could cut it with one of Sarah's knives.
"So, are you two excited to get home?" Sarah asked, trying to break the ice. Ellie took a sip of her wine in order to prolong an answer and Chuck just nodded his head. He hoped Ellie wasn't going to just ignore Sarah, that would be almost as bad as the biting tone and angry words she's been using with her lately.
"What are your plans?" She asked them. Ellie set down her glass.
"Keeping tabs on him already? Does he need permission to do anything?" She asked her harshly and Chuck cringed at her tone. He reached over on the table and tapped her hand a few times but she ignored him and looked right at Sarah.
Sarah for her part seemed to be tired of the whole thing as well, much to Chuck's dismay, knowing exactly what she was capable of. She sat on the other side of Chuck and leaning over him she looked directly at Ellie.
"Ellie, just say what you want to say to me and get it over with. I'm not going away. I'm in Chuck's life and no amount of hateful words or mutterings is going to make me leave." She told her.
Chuck's eyes widened at the dare and he shrunk back away from both girls. He wasn't sure this was such a good idea or ideal place for this. He glanced at Casey for support on this but all he could see was the bastard smirking.
Ellie turned in her chair and faced Sarah, not even glancing at Chuck and gave her a cold hard look.
"I promised Chuck I would be on my best behavior tonight Sarah otherwise I would." Ellie said simply "And what I have to say to you is probably not something you want me to be shouting in a restaurant." With that she turned away again picking up her wine glass.
Chuck was frightened by the look on Sarah's face of pure anger and was very frightened of what she would do to Ellie. He was well aware that she's probably restrained from now because of him and how it would look bad on a mission report but he could tell that she was at the end of her rope with Ellie's attitude.
Trying to defuse the situation with Sarah for now he sat up in his chair and leaned forward blocking part of her view of Ellie. He reached out and put his hand on top of hers that lay on the table. She looked at him startled for a moment, obviously lost in her own angry before seeing the soft look in his eyes. She turned her hand over and entwined their fingers to Chuck's surprise.
"We have a lot to talk about too you know." She said softly so only he could hear. He just stared into her eyes and nodded. They did.
"Perhaps tonight?" He suggested to her and she smiled for a second before it faded and she looked over his shoulder. He didn't have to turn to see that Ellie was glaring at her. Sarah shook her head and turned her attention back to him and squeezed his hand, giving him her award winning smile.
"Not tonight. I think I have to deal with your sister tonight, but soon. When we get back to Burbank. We defiantly need to talk ok?" She told him. He closed his eyes momentarily as her other hand reached up to wipe a piece of stray hair from his eyes. "Maybe you should consider a haircut, you're looking kinda shabby." She teased him.
Chuck smiled at her, knowing she was right. He didn't have short hair often but he liked to try to keep it semi tamed shaggy. His smile dropped into a serious look as he held tight to her fingers.
"Please, don't hurt her Sarah." He begged her and she frowned.
"I wouldn't do anything to harm Ellie. Don't you trust me?" She asked sadly, taking the request personal. She nodded his head.
"I've trusted you with my life for the past two years. Which is exactly why I'm asking you to not hurt her. I know how you get when I'm involved." He said teasingly, though he was deadly serious.
"I promise I will not hit her with anything other than words." She said giving him a smile and another squeeze.
Just then their food arrived and was placed in front them. Chuck went to release her hand and pick up his fork but she held tightly on and leaned forward to him.
"I know she cares about you and is worried about you. I can't fault her for that. I know she's angry with me. Don't worry about us. We'll be fine." She said and then placed a kiss on his temple. Chuck closed his eyes enjoying the feel of her lips on his skin before opening them once more meeting her eyes.
Dinner went as smoothly as possible with small talk and good food. Even Chuck managed to eat most of it which his sister was still harping about how proud she was. He felt like a little kid who finally ate his vegetables the way she went on. He had looked at himself in the elevators reflection and noticed that he did seem more filled out, and that all the forced eating and snacks they've all given him this week seemed to put more weight on him.
He was glad that out of all his issues at least image wasn't really one of them. He would be freaking out about gaining all this weight, though he was still extremely lanky and thin and somewhat awkward. He wondered if he would ever grow out of that, but since he's been 6'4 for over ten years now, he probably would just have to deal with it.
"Chuck, can you please go into the other room." Ellie said as they got into the suite. Chuck had barely taken off his jacket before he was instructed to leave. Sarah on the other hand just turned around after entering first and crossed her arms over her chest.
"I think he can stay here Ellie he's a big boy." She barked out both girls looking at him expectantly. Chuck stood there frozen in place not sure which to obey. Luckily Casey made the decision for him as he pointed at the couch and barked "sit down" at him.
He could see Ellie glaring at Casey and yet again he feared for his sisters' life. Casey was even more ruthless than Sarah was and he suddenly felt complete and utter regret of bringing his sister into this mess he was in.
"I don't think he needs to be here for this." She protested but Casey just sat in the chair opposite her and crossed his legs getting comfortable.
"I don't care what you think the nerd needs. This involves all of us. We are his handlers and like it or not we get a say, the final say in what happens when it comes to the intersect." He growled out. Ellie must have seen red because she positively exploded.
"Intersect? His name is Chuck, Casey, he has a name. He's not just a machine or toy for the government to play with and use. He's a human with rights." She protested angrily, but Casey showed no reflection of her shouting affecting him.
"Like it or not right now he is a tool for the US government. Now we've tried hard to keep him here,"
"Casey Stop!" Sarah tried to interrupt.
"But if this is how you're going to act perhaps it's time he go to a more secure location." He said not looking at Sarah.
Chuck took several deep breaths as panic built up inside of him at Casey's words. He couldn't go into a bunker, he didn't know if he would be able to keep his promise to Ellie. Suddenly everything that had been lifted and better this week began crashing down on him and he couldn't breathe anymore.
"Chuck?" Ellie said coming to her brother side as he struggled to breath. He wanted to hit something, to take the pain and fear away he was feeling inside him. He needed it to come out but he only knew of one way to do it. "Breath sweetie, you have to breath, don't hold your breath."
But Chuck wasn't listening. All he could see behind his closed eyelids were four cement walls buried under many feet below the ground. He would essentially be buried alive. That thought gripped in his mind as he fought off imaginary demons that was holding him down until his world came back into sharp focus by a slap across the face and two female voices shouting
"Casey!"
"Snap out of it Bartowski" He heard Casey shout at him as his world came back into focus and he breathed hard as another slap was delivered. He struggled against the hands that were on him for a few more moments before his facility's came back to him and he finally collapsed. He noted as he breathed that he was lying on the couch now instead of sitting up. He was embarrassed and confused by what just happened.
He looked up at his sister as she gently ran her hand up and down his arm in a soothing manner. He felt sharp pain on the side of his face and he reached up slowly and felt claw marks. Looking down at his hands he saw blood cover them as well as some skin. He must have clawed at his own skin again.
"It's ok Chuck they're light scratches you'll be fine. They won't even scar most likely." His sister said soothingly. She brought her hand up to the side of his face and wipped away the blood with a tissue.
He felt the tears fall then as he breathed heavily and the emotions came back but feeling more secure and in control of them he let it happened. The thought of the bunker had always scared him into submission and Casey's casural view of sending him there made him feel out of control again.
"Sorry." He chocked out. "I'm sorry." He buried his face in the cushion of the couch as he struggled to get his emotions in check. He didn't understand how he could go from being so in control that nobody seemed to notice for a long time that something was wrong, to now where he was just on the surface of some kind of breakdown. He hated this more than before. He hated himself more this way.
"How could you Casey. That was irresponsible of you." Sarah's voice ran through causing him to look back up relaxing his head on the pillow Ellie placed beneath it.
"Oh please, don't play innocent you know very well that's a possibility. They don't need or want an unstable Intersect out running around free."
"And your solution for that is to prove how unstable he is? What kinda of-" Sarah took a deep breath to steady her nerves. "Casey, I recommend that you leave right now." She said with a deadly calm. Casey smirked at her not taking her recommendation.
"I don't think so Walker. You want to play house longer with him that's your issue but this assignment is going to end very badly if he doesn't get his act together. " He spat out at her.
"That's not your call Casey, I thought you were his friend." She said angrily. Chuck wanted to get up and get between them like he always did when they fought but he didn't have the energy, and it was nice to hear Sarah defend him. So he laid there on the couch, concentrating on his breathing and the feel of Ellie soothing him.
"I am his friend which is why I've recommended that he be placed in a more secure environment." Everyone was stunned at that, Sarah visibly stiffened at that. Chuck couldn't help the small sad smile that crossed his face at hearing Casey admit he was his friend.
"Please tell me you didn't." Sarah said in a whisper but by the look Casey was giving him she knew he had. Chuck looked at Ellie as she watched the two of them intently, alarm in her eyes. "Casey-"
"He needs a more secure environment. I stand by that and my decision. He's going around drinking and burning himself and fucking screwed up whores who kill themselves. He told his sister about the Intersect. He's a liability to himself and everyone involved. He needs help and security. Something we're not exactly equipped to give him."
Everyone in the room was silent, each lost in their own thoughts. He couldn't deny he was afraid. His mind racing around thinking this was the last week he would ever spend with his sister. His mind raced with all the things he had yet to tell her and he felt the panic rise up again slowly at the need to tell her now.
"You should have come to me first. I'm your partner." Sarah said, obviously feeling betrayed. But then Chuck watched her as she walked up to Casey and looked him straight in the eye. "I won't let them take him to a bunker." She told him straight. Casey nodded and took a step back conceding.
"It appears the General agrees with you for now. Due to his sisters' involvement now, she's willing to give a chance for everything to work out before taking any more, drastic measures. Bartowski stays here." Casey said before turning around and exiting the room.
Everyone left was silent afraid to break it, not quite sure what to say anyways. Chuck tried to sit up, feeling better and able to breath normal but Ellie pressed him back down on the couch and he stayed.
What would you have done if they were to take him?" Ellie asked her curiously. Sarah didn't seem to hear her at first as she stared at the door Casey just exited.
"I would have taken him away myself." She said tonelessly. Chuck could feel Ellie getting angry at that answer next to him.
"And where would you have taken him? Away from his friends and family, his life." Ellie spat out angrily. Chuck rubbed her back to calm her down but she was having none of it either. Sarah looked at her hard and angry and walked over to her. She sat down, carefully as she was in a short dress on the coffee table in front of them.
"Look Ellie, I know you're pissed off at me but you're just going to have to get over it. I didn't totally lie to you. I like your brother ok? A lot. But my first duty is to keep him safe. And yes if they were to take him to a bunker or anywhere else I would in a heartbeat take him away from their reach. He'd be away from you and everyone else he knows but he will be freer on the run then locked in a tiny bunker. And I need you to keep that to yourself because if they knew I'm prepared to run in an instant with the Intersect they would reassign me so fast and take him away we won't even know what happened."
The two women stared at each other as Chuck watched. His heart was elated to hear that she liked him, though it was no secret really even through her mixed signals. He was scared of the prospect of being on the run for the rest of his life but it did feel good to know that somebody cared.
Ellie was the one to break the silence as she reached over and embraced Sarah tightly.
"I knew it wasn't a game to you. Just keep him safe." She heard her say. He made eye contact with Sarah and he tried to convey his gratitude and thanks, she seemed to have received the message as she gave him a small smile as if to say "no problem."
At least his sister would stop bickering with Sarah now.
A/N: Damn i dont feel as depressed anymore so now i'm struggling. I think only another chapter or two and this will be done. Good news is i started a new one the other day i came up with. It involves...wait! that would be a spoiler! :-p . Enjoy! reviews appreciated.
Anyone eles participating in that NANow whatever its call thing this month?
