When Dino and Squalo both graduated from school, Bel had been overjoyed; he knew that meant he could spend more time with them in the mornings, and that they wouldn't be so busy after school hours with homework. However, his elation had quickly ended when Squalo told him that he and Dino would be going to university next, and that though they would be home a bit more, they would still be very busy.
Bel, nevertheless, was just glad that his two guardians were able to make more time for him.
"Ne, Squa?"
Looking down at the twelve-year-old holding his hand tightly, Squalo cocked his head. "What?"
"I want ice cream." Unable to look the older male in the eyes, Bel instead stared past the other as he spoke. He tugged at his ear muffs in a self-conscious manner, hating the strange looks he received, but they were one of the few reasons he was able to leave the apartment; he needed them to block out the deafening sounds around him, or else he would continue to shut down.
"You always want ice cream." Rolling his eyes, Squalo looked over at the ice cream stand not far from them. "Fine, brat. But only because you've behaved today."
Bel giggled, throwing his arms in the air as joy bubbled up inside of him. "Ice cream! Ice cream!"
Squalo glared at the looks passers-by gave to Bel, unaware of the boy pulling his hand out of the stronger male's grip. He only noticed that the blond had left his side when he was startled by the screeching of tyres and a car horn behind him, turning around to see that his charge had ran out in front of moving traffic.
"Bel!" Chasing after Bel – the boy most likely having no idea how close he had come to being scraped off the ground – Squalo made sure to grab the boy's hand and hold him in place. Leaning down, he growled, "Do you realise how fucking dangerous that was? You almost got hit by a car! Don't ever run across the road like that again!"
Bel was tense, his head dropped at the scolding. He trembled slightly, not used to Squalo being mad at him – but what confused him the most was that he really didn't understand what he had done wrong; Squalo had said he could have ice cream, so he went to get ice cream. "Squ-Squ…"
Sighing, Squalo dropped the scolding; they could talk about it when they got home. "Whatever, brat. Just go get your fucking ice cream. Here." Handing the child money, the older male watched Bel finish his journey to the ice cream stand.
Taking a seat over on a bench not far from the stand, Squalo waited for his charge to come to his side. It didn't take long for Bel to come back, two ice cream cones in his hands as he started devouring his strawberry one first.
"No wonder you've got so many cavities." Pointing to the cones, Squalo scrunched his nose up. "Look at the shit you're always eating."
"I like ice cream, Squa~" His head tilting to the side, Bel watched his guardian with a curious expression. "Why don't you like ice cream?"
"It tastes like crap." Backing away when Bel shoved one of his cones in his face, Squalo shook his head. "I don't want any."
"But it tastes really good, Squ~ Try it~"
Knowing that Bel wouldn't give up until he got what he wanted, Squalo fought back his gag reflex as he tentatively licked at the ice cream. He shuddered at the taste, but he couldn't help but smile at the gleeful sound Bel made.
"It's good, isn't it~?" Licking his ice cream again, Bel waited for an answer.
"…Yeah, brat." Not wanting to upset the other, Squalo told the boy what he wanted to hear.
"I told you~!" Bel observed his surroundings while he focused on his ice cream. He wasn't very interested by most of what he saw, but upon noticing a couple a bit off in the distance, he cocked his head to the side. "Squ? Why do people kiss?"
"Why are you asking me that? Do I look like an expert on people?" Seeing that Bel quickly tensed at his tone of voice, Squalo took a deep breath before he spoke again, this time in a softer tone. "People kiss because of stupid-ass reasons. I don't know why; I hate even the thought of kissing. Makes me want to throw up."
"Girls and boys kiss each other. Why does Dino kiss other boys?" Forgetting all about his ice cream, Bel fidgeted slightly.
Shrugging, Squalo couldn't help but spit out his dislike. "The Bucking Horse is a fucking fag. He likes to kiss other guys."
"Is that bad?" Unable to understand why Squalo suddenly seemed full of anger, Bel didn't know what to think; was Squalo mad at him or Dino? Had he done something wrong to make Squalo mad at him?
"It's disgusting! It's fucking unnatural!" With memories of his past with his uncle passing through his mind, Squalo couldn't help but shudder again; how filthy he still felt from his uncle's touches…
"Does that mean you don't like Dino?" Confused by this, Bel didn't understand; if Squalo hated Dino, why were they living together? Why were they best friends?
"What? No; it's not that I don't like him; I just feel sickened by his fucking lifestyle."
Bel blinked. "When I saw Dino kiss his boyfriends, it made my stomach feel weird, but not like I was sick."
"Weird?"
The boy nodded. He opened his mouth to continue on, but a dark blush quickly crossed his cheeks and he fidgeted. "…"
"What is it?" Knowing this behaviour well, Squalo was patient; whatever Bel wanted to tell him was embarrassing to the child. "You know you can tell me anything, brat."
Making an uncomfortable sound, Bel curled in on himself. "…"
"Bel. What's the matter? It's okay; you can tell me." Putting his gloved hand on the younger's shoulder, Squalo waited for his charge to be ready to reply.
"…" His blush darkening, Bel soon whispered, "…It makes… my penis go hard, too…"
Trying to ignore how disgusted he felt by these words, he shrugged it off; surely Bel wasn't… like that… "Yeah, well. That's a normal thing; happens to every guy. When else does it happen?"
"…" Hiding his face, Bel continued to whisper. "…When I wake up…"
"Any other time?"
"…When you and Dino come out of the shower… And when Dino makes those funny noises at night…"
Squalo was shocked, uncomfortable to know that Bel looked at them both in such ways, even if unconsciously; was Bel trying to tell him that he liked boys, too? "…"
"Squ-Squ?" Tugging at his guardian's sleeve, Bel frowned.
Shaking his head, Squalo was unaware of how his face had paled. "You like boys, too, brat…?"
"I don't know. Am I a fag?"
"Don't call yourself a fag, Bel."
Bel tensed as worry filled him; what if Squalo was mad at him for being a fag? The older male certainly seemed mad at Dino for it. "…"
Palming at his face, Squalo shook his head. "Bel. Look; I don't give a fuck who you like. Girl or boy; I don't care. You can like whoever you want to, and I'll still support you. Fuck, I supported the Bucking Horse through his breakups, haven't I? Just because I don't like fags doesn't mean I don't care. Don't ever let someone make you feel as if you can't like who you do just because they don't like it."
"…" Looking at his lap, Bel nodded. He wasn't entirely sure of what he felt for other people; he had never had friends before, instead fighting with all the other kids at his school. He didn't like to be around other people, wanting only Squalo and Dino. He had never really felt anything but fear and hatred towards the people outside of what he viewed as his family; all he knew was that he felt only towards them and no one else.
Reaching out to pat golden locks, Squalo let his entire being soften; whatever would help get his point across, because he could never dislike this boy who had come into his life when he had been at his worst and somehow levelled out the depression he had been rapidly drowning in. "It's okay that you feel this way. Towards me and Dino; it doesn't fucking matter. You're twelve; you're not supposed to know what you feel just yet; you need time to figure it out. I don't care if you're a fag or whatever; you're still Belphegor, and that's what I want. Now eat your ice cream; it's melting all over your hands."
Bel nodded, quickly lapping up the ice cream that was clinging to his flesh. He was glad that Squalo could talk to him in ways he could understand, because when he tried telling things to Dino, sometimes the blond just confused him even more. After finishing his first cone, he then asked, "Is Squa a fag?"
Shrugging, Squalo chewed at his lip. He didn't know his orientation; just that his uncle had truly confused him with everything the man had done; did it mean he was gay because he had gotten hard beneath those touches? He had even orgasmed during it? But he had hated it! So why… did his body betray him…?
Closing his eyes, Squalo fought back tears. "…I don't know, Bel… Let's not talk about this anymore."
Bel didn't understand; he just knew that when Squalo said things like that, he had to stop talking about what was on his mind. He didn't know why this was, but when he had asked, he just received a shrug in response. "Squ?"
"Hmm?"
"Can I get more ice cream?"
Looking down to see that Bel had already finished both cones, Squalo couldn't help but snort. "Fine. But if I have to take you back to the dentist again, it's your fault for eating so much sugar."
"I don't like the dentist, Squ; it's really scary." Getting up from the bench, Bel accepted the coins that were handed to him. "I hate going there."
"I know you do, brat. Look after your teeth more and you won't have to go back there all the time." Watching the boy turn around and skip over to the ice cream stand, Squalo was glad that Bel was now a lot more open with him and Dino, and had almost fully emerged from his shell; while the child still found it extremely difficult to talk to strangers, he could do so if he greatly wanted something. There was still a long way to go with him, but at least now the two teenagers could look after him properly, having learnt all his quirks and behavioural issues and knowing how to work around them.
~~XX~~
One of the first things Squalo had figured out about Bel was that he very much liked routine, and found it extremely hard to cope without it or whenever it was disturbed. Squalo knew this, but there was only so much he could do at times.
Knocking on his charge's bedroom door, Squalo waited a few seconds before he opened it; Bel himself had said earlier that morning that he was starting to hit puberty, so he found it appropriate to give the younger a little more privacy than usual; who knew how far the brat was into it. "Brat."
Bel was seated at his desk, a pen in his hand as he did his homework. He cocked his head to the side, wondering if he had lost track of time again and his guardian was here to tell him how long he had left before he changed tasks; he could have sworn he had only just started… "Squ-Squ?"
"How far through your homework are you?" Taking a seat on the boy's bed, Squalo waited for an answer.
"I just did three questions, Squ. I still have lots to do."
"Do you think you can leave that for now? I have to talk to you about something." Not surprised when the other tensed, Squalo continued on. "It's really important, and we have to go somewhere."
"Squ…" Wrapping his arms around him, Bel looked down at his lap. "But this is my homework time…"
"Bel, it's very important, and it can't wait." Squalo wasn't surprised that he had to calm his charge down, the younger upset by unexpectedly having to drop his routine in favour of something he didn't know about, but Bel was getting better at soothing himself when he was distressed; he just still sometimes had extreme meltdowns if he were feeling particularly stressed. "It's okay, Bel. You're safe."
Bel sucked in a deep breath as his rocking slowed slightly. He was still anxious, but Squalo knew him well enough to know that when he was rocking slowly, he was able to listen to what the silver-haired male wanted to tell him. "…"
Reaching out to thread his gloved fingers through soft golden locks, Squalo tried to speak in the softest tone he owned. "Now that I've finished school, I got a job as a cashier for in between my university classes. When I save up enough money, we're going to move into our own house. Just you and me. Okay?"
Bel's rocking increased again, smaller whimpers escaping his lips. His mouth went dry as anxiety consumed him, but when Squalo wrapped his arms around him and held him in a tight, reassuring hug, he was slowly able to relax; not even Dino was able to calm him down like Squalo could. "…"
Squalo knew what was stressing Bel out; the boy had become so used to their little apartment, he didn't want to leave it. It was the only place he had truly felt safe and loved, and it must have horrified him to know that he was going to have to leave his happy place soon – Bel was probably terrified of the idea that, if he were to leave here, he would no longer be loved and wanted.
"Even if we do move, it doesn't mean anything is going to have to change," Squalo promised. "No matter where we are, I still want you. Okay? So don't be scared; no matter what, you're still safe with me."
Bel nodded, his breathing laboured as he trembled. He was slowly getting back in control of himself, his small hands coming up to hold the older male's shirt in a vice-grip. Hiding his face in against the other's chest, the child was thankful that Squalo's clothing didn't agitate him today; he just wanted to curl up on his guardian's lap and stay there until he was okay again.
"Get up, brat; we have to go and look at some houses." Shoving light-heartedly at the boy, Squalo wasn't surprised when Bel whined loudly and pressed himself closer against. Giving in, he resigned himself to the fact that they wouldn't be going anywhere until Bel had completely calmed down and accepted what would be happening.
Thankfully, Bel hadn't been as difficult about it as he had been expecting, because fuck that kid could really throw temper tantrums when he decided he didn't like something.
