7: SAGE THERAPY
"Look Damon, I'm sorry, you know. I kinda got you into this mess. And the way you took the bullet for me, man, I know you're my bro. But if you like Elena, you should have opened your fucking mouth and told me. It's not like I really love her or anything, I just think she's hot. Besides, you know that I'm seriously faithful to Bex," Sage managed to say while chewing on a taco. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and stared expectantly at her friend.
Damon questioned sarcastically, "So faithful that you wanted Elena?"
"Look dude, I only look but I never touch. I am faithful to Bex. Why do you think I bolted that quickly after our show? I felt kinda guilty about fantasizing about Elena, so I wanted to spend a romantic night with Bex in a nice restaurant. And we made hot monkey love for the entire night. I certainly made up for everything in bed, if I do say so myself," Sage chortled as she playfully arched her left eyebrow.
"What the fuck is wrong with me Sage? Bree died only six months ago. I can't be falling for someone already," Damon grunted in frustration, burying his face into his palms.
"Dude, you know what? You have to do a little something called 'letting go.' Look, I know it's been difficult. But fuck! You have to move on! I know that Bree was your first serious relationship in a long time, but dude, you haven't been laid in six months. I'm no health expert and shit, but that's gotta be bad for the body. I think Elena would be a good fuck, don't you agree?" Sage teased, in attempts to alleviate Damon's uneasiness.
"Look, it's not about sex! And that's what's fucking scary! I mean, Bree kinda started out as a one night stand. I fucked her the first night I met her and, well, things just progressed from there. With Elena, it's different. This is the first time I've been interested in someone, without seriously plotting evil ways to get into her panties. Well, I mean minus the time she gave me that sorry excuse of a lap dance. It was good and all, it just left way too much to the imagination. She was fully clothed. There was next to no bodily contact for three quarters of the fucking routine, and I felt like I was about to explode when she put my hand on her knee. And it was only her knee too, not her thigh! But that was the only time I've thought about fucking her. The rest of the time, it's just like 'God, she's so beautiful and smart. Wow, she went to MIT.' It's just so fucking scary!" Damon screeched, flailing his arms about in a frenzy.
"My theory is this. Maybe along the way, you know after the trauma and shit of the Bree thing, you've realized that falling in love is now more of a priority than just fucking. I mean, maybe you've found your Bex, so to speak," Sage expounded, with seriousness in her voice.
"I've always respected you Sage. You're always 100 percent faithful to Bex. I just wish I could be more like you. Look, it's not like I don't want to be able to commit or something. I just have serious security issues. The way I look at it is this. Let's make a hypothetical situation. Say I was right and Bree was cheating on me. And let's pretend she didn't die that night. I seriously would have just went out and fucked the next whore who expressed interest. I don't want to be the one hurt, alright! And this is the way I see it. If I'm doing the fucking around, then I'm doing the hurting, and not the other way around," Damon admitted.
"No offense Damon. I know you're my best friend and all, but I gotta tell you that that's some pretty fucked up logic. I mean, let me tell you what keeps me from cheating on Bex. When I think about fucking other girls, like the whole Elena thing, I keep in mind that it's just a fantasy. Fantasizing is normal. Bex tells me that she wants to fuck Jolie all the time! But acting out on that fantasy is another thing. I kept saying that I wanted Elena to give me head and shit, but I wouldn't have let her do it, even if she was willing! I think it takes a bigger chick to keep her vag in her pants then whipping it out every time she's horny. And that keeps the relationship with Bex honest and truthful. And plus, I know that Bex's a great girl, and she's always my real fantasy anyways," Sage sentimentally spurted.
"How fucking sweet! Finn, my teeth are rotting! But seriously, in my own defense, I've gotta say that I wasn't a nymphomaniac or something before I met Bree. Ever since My Bloody Vampire has seen success, all I've wanted was to find a girl that I can seriously fall in love with. Just fall in love with, and be with her forever, you know? But along the way, I've learned that most females will just throw themselves at me because I'm in a successful rock band, without giving regard to starting a serious relationship. And I just got swept under, and that's why I slept around. It's not that I enjoyed fucking a girl, and then leaving her in a hotel room the next morning. I have a conscience too," Damon assured matter-of-factly. "Actually, I want to find my Bex; I'm ready to commit if I find the right girl. That's all I'm looking for Sage."
Sage urged, "What's your fucking problem? Why don't you just ask Elena out and see how it goes? Maybe she's that person that you've been looking to fall in love with, maybe not. But you gotta ask her out first, dicklips, or you'll never know."
"Okay, you're right. But what about Tyler? Isn't he seriously fucked up when it comes to Elena dating? I mean, that dude is seriously scary. He's the reason why I'm in a hospital bed, talking to you. He's the reason why we had to postpone the fucking tour. He's the reason why we have to spend the next month in Vancouver, while I recover. He's the reason-" Damon rambled on and on.
"Okay, okay, okay, I get the point fucker! You know, I don't think that Tyler is really a devilish psychopath. Wait, I take that back. What I mean is, I think that he still has feelings for Elena, but if he sees that you're serious about getting with her, maybe he'll promise not to turn insane on your ass in return for Elena's happiness. Look at it this way, he's actually not that different from you. He's insecure, he fucks around because of that insecurity, but I think he just wants the same thing as you do: a girl he can fall in love with. And I think that Elena is like Bex, just a girl that you can fall in love with, for the rest of your life. And Tyler's just having trouble letting go of something that isn't his," Sage suggested.
Author's Note: Thank you for reading and the feedback, follows, and favourites. Special thanks to emeraldeyes262, YAZMIN V, and Lady Vienna.
