Disclaimer: All characters portrayed in this fan-made work belong to their respected creators. The writer gets no currency or physical profit from this.
By the time they had left the library, it was already starting to get a little dark. That was one thing Tory hated about winter- it got dark so early at this time of year. The sun was beginning to set already and it was only a quarter to seven. It was starting to get a little colder. He was glad that Colin still had his coat, he really was, but he was starting to get a little uncomfortable as the temperature dropped. But he tried not to let it bother him. It was odd, but Colin seemed to be more sensitive to the temperature than he was. Come to think of it, every time he had one of his "relapses," he would be shivering. How had he not noticed that? He'd have to jot that down in his notes later.
Colin broke the silence after a few minutes. "I think I'll be fine for school tomorrow."
Tory gave a nod of approval. "Good," he said, "but if you still need help with it, just tell me."
"Mm-hmm."
Tory tried to smile in an attempt the mood a little more light-hearted. He didn't want Colin to think he was hiding something… which was exactly what he was doing. But he still didn't want Colin to know that. As a last resort, he started to try and make a little small talk. The weather, other classes in school, anything to keep the conversation going. Usually Colin's responses were little more than a sentence long, but at least it was something. In order for him to know more about Colin, there had to be some trust, and that wasn't going to happen if Colin thought he was being dishonest.
Eventually he and Colin fell into a relatively comfortable silence, their footsteps becoming rhythmic with the other. Colin appeared rather focused on the ground, deep in thought. Tory wished that Colin were easier to read. He had no idea what Colin could be thinking. He may as well have been walking in tandem with a brick wall, and frankly brick walls didn't make the mostpleasant ofcompanions.
The shorter boy suddenly looked to meet Tory's eyes. "Why are you doing this for me?"
Tory blinked. He hadn't expected Colin to ask something like that. How could he explain it? "What, study with you? Well… you know…" he faltered, stumbling for an excuse. "It's part of the peer tutoring group and-"
"Not just that. Why are you doing all this? You could have just left the library when I didn't show up. You didn't have to wait so long. You didn't have to look for me. You could have just gone home."
Tory, a little taken aback by the sudden outburst of dialogue, laughed nervously. "What are you talking about? I wouldn't have just left. That would have been stupid." Tory didn't count on Colin being so perceptive. Colin was known to catch on to things quick, but damn it, his observational skills were really beginning to be a pain in his side. It was one more thing Tory felt that he'd done wrong with this whole situation.
"You wouldn't have left," Colin pointed out flatly. "Anybody else would've."
He was unsure of how to respond to that. There was so little bitterness in Colin's voice at the statement; he knew that Colin believed it without a second thought. Unfortunately, knowing the way that Colin treated most people, they probably would have left way before Tory did. Tory shifted his weight from foot to foot, becoming more and more uncomfortable.
"I told you. I do this stuff for you because you're my friend." Tory knew he sounded like a complete liar, and felt more and more like he was being backed into a corner.
Colin was starting to sound a little angry at this point. "But why? Why do you want to be my friend, anyway? Do you think because my guardian's a doctor I'm rich? Because I don't want-"
"No!" Tory exclaimed. In all truths, Colin's financial situation hadn't ever come to mind. He'd skimmed over that detail, too. He was slipping. Tory placed pressed his thumb and pointer finger to the bridge of his nose, feeling a headache coming on. Maybe he had this all wrong. He was starting to get too emotional, and nothing good was sure to come out of that. "Look, is it that you don't want me to think of you that way?"
Colin looked away, unable to meet Tory's eyes anymore. "It's… not that," he murmured, gripping the sleeve of Tory's jacket.
"Well, at least that's one thing I know for sure," Tory thought to himself. A small tinge of reassurance mingled with his anxiety.
"Then why do you think I wouldn't want to be your friend?"
Colin didn't respond. The sky began to turn hues of pinks and gold, sending a twilight glow onto the streets. Colin's eyes reflected the colors of the sunset in the swiftly coming night. Streetlights began to flicker on, illuminating the sidewalk. There was almost nobody on the streets but the two of them, which was a rather strange occurrence for this time of night. Tory placed a hand on Colin's shoulder, an effort to comfort him somehow.
Tory tried to smile in what looked like a friendly manner, though it was a futile effort. "There really doesn't have to be a reason, does there? I want to be your friend because I like being around you. That's all."
Tory took a little solace in the fact that he wasn't technically lying. But if he did tell Colin now… if he did tell him what he felt for him, he had no idea what would happen. He wanted to be honest with Colin, but honesty was getting to be pretty dangerous. Colin could reject him. He could be disgusted. He could never want to see him again. He could do all of those things; he could do even worse. Admittedly, Tory couldn't think of a "worse," but he was sure that there must be something.
The two of them seemed at a loss with anything to say. Tory knew that he should be heading home, and he knew that his mom would probably be furious, but there was no way he was just going to leave at this point. There was too much left unsaid right now, and he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he just left now. Colin's voice permeated the silence between them with a single question, his voice quiet but firm.
"Is that all?"
Tory couldn't help the gasp that escaped his throat unbidden. Colin's eyes pierced his own without hesitance or any sign of looking away. Tory exhaled deeply. Colin could say or do so very little and make it have such little impact. Tory could babble on for years and it would be as if he'd stayed completely silent.
Colin's question left Tory with quite a few options on how to respond. Tory could have just said yes, that was all. He could have just shaken it off like he didn't know what Colin was talking about. He could play the fool and be safe. But Colin… Colin didn't deserve that. He deserved to know exactly what Tory's intentions were. Honesty might be dangerous, but lying was getting old. It went completely against his judgment, and it was probably insane, but…
"No, it's not all."
Tory always figured he wouldn't be the one to start his first kiss. He always imagined the other person would take the initiative in that situation, though he probably thought about it less than the standard teenager. He expected, at least, for it to feel rather nice, which it certainly did. What he didn't expect was the feeling of warmth, of intimacy that he'd never felt before. It was the same as his dream the night before, but it was somehow completely different. The sensation was much more concrete, so much more real that it almost made Tory want to pull away the moment he made contact with Colin's lips. He felt Colin's mouth slightly open against his, obviously unprepared for Tory's impulsive kiss. All he could do now was hope for the best.
When the two pulled apart, Colin's cheeks were completely flushed, but this time Tory could tell it was embarrassment and not fever. Colin touched his own lips with his fingertips, as if trying to touch the passed kiss somehow. Tory gazed unhesitant at Colin. There was no reason for him to seem sheepish now, and there were no secrets to hide. If he was going to deal with Colin's reaction, he may as well face it head on.
"Why… did you do that?" Colin murmured, head still bowed.
Tory blinked. That should have been obvious. "Because I wanted to."
Colin grimaced. "So you'd kiss anyone just because you wanted to?"
Tory had to stifle a smile, in spite of the heavy air around the two. Why did he alwaysseem so giddywhen he was nervous? "I wouldn't kiss anybody because I wanted to. That wouldn't be any fun, would it?"
Colin let a ghost of a smile flit across his face, but it disappeared in a minute. Right then, he was deadly serious- even more so than usual. He put a hand on Tory's arm.
"Can I ask… why me?"
Tory sighed. Colin seemed to be asking him that question a lot. "Because I like you," he said, rather surprised he couldsay it so easily.
Colin seemed far from satisfied with that answer. "Friends like each other, too. It's no reason for you to kiss me."
Tory shook his head. "It's not the same thing. With you it's different."Tory was laying all this out in the open without a second thought, but he felt like his heart was in his throat. He knew it; Colin was mad at him. He should have just kept it to himself. Screw nobility.
But even with that in mind, words just kept spilling out of Tory's mouth. His words were disoriented and he knew he sounded like a child, but he didn't care."I can't help it. I'm always worrying about you, and I think about you all the time, and I wish I could have told you sooner because I didn't want to lie to you, and I-" Colin raised his hand, a signal that he understood. Tory immediately clammed up, feeling more and more humiliated. The silence that hung in the air was unbearable.
Finally, Colin spoke."Are you saying that you…?" he trailed off, letting Tory fill in the blanks.
Tory had no idea where he was getting this boldness from, but at least he wasn't running away. "Yeah, I am. Did you… know about it?"
Colin drew a little closer. "I wasn't sure but… it explains a lot," he said, always one for brevity.
Tory couldn't help but outright laugh then. Colin even managed to laugh a little. He placed his hand on Colin's waist. "So, do you, too?"
Colin nodded, showing no discomfort at the contact. "Yeah. I wasn't sure but…I do."
Tory, for just a moment, hated the streetlights for illuminating what was no doubt a wildfire flush on his face.
"So… are we… together?" Colin asked, drawing closer to Tory. It seemed that both of their eloquence was completely down the drain. The two's faces were inches apart.
"Only if you want us to be," Tory responded quietly, the proximity of Colin's lips eliminating what was left of his reservations.
"All right."
With that, their lips met again, all shyness and uncertainty swept away with one movement. Colin gripped at Tory's shirtsleeve, definitely more enthusiastic than he was minutes before. Tory couldn't help the feeling of incredulity of this whole situation that overwhelmed him. He had to be dreaming; he had to be- there was no way that this could actually be happening. Part of him expected to hear his alarm clock blaring in his ear any moment. But the feeling of Colin's lips on his own was enough to convince him: This was definitely real. And God, he loved that more than anything.
Author's note: Well! It turns out that I was able to get to a computer in between vacations. YAY! I'm sad to say that it's definite that I won't be able to update again until the middle of August. Yes, you heard me right, it's ain't over yet ladies and gentlemen! Our favorite boys are finally together, but as with all cheesy stories such as this, there's still more to come! Now for thank yous for my reviewers for the last chapter: Kyonkichi89, airatainted, ArtificialLung, and Fuji Fox, thank you so much! You all rock to the fullest extent of rockingness. Yes, that is a word.
