A/N: So…I was riding on the bus home from school when I realized something…I FORGOT ABOUT VOLDEMORT! Wow, nice. I know. So, he is returning to the plot, who's excited?
THANK YOU FOR THE REVIEWS!!!
Chapter 7: Voldemort's Return
Throughout the day, Harry avoided Draco the best that he could. This actually proved to be somewhat difficult, for Malfoy was everywhere. Blowing kisses at him in the hallway, raising his eyebrows suggestively, smirking at him…He was always there!
"Harry…did Draco just…spank you?" asked Hermione, eyes wide.
Ron started choking on his pumpkin juice so Harry thudded him on the back. "NO!"
"Oh…it looked like he did…"
"Well, obviously, you need your eyes checked!" he snarled and got up to leave the Great Hall.
"Damn him and his wizard angst…" said Ron quietly.
"I HEARD THAT!" screamed Harry flipping both his friends off.
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Lesson Two: Still, Wings.
Harry was sitting down on the small couch, watching Draco pace before him. He'd been like this for the past ten minutes when finally, Draco said something.
"I've had a thought Potter…"
"Took you long enough." said Harry in an undertone.
Draco flopped down on the couch next to Harry, awfully close. "Maybe it's not anger that gets you to push your wings out…maybe it's" he placed his hand on Harry's knee and brushed it up to his thigh ever so slowly, "sexual tension."
Harry fell off the couch.
"Harry?" he asked, looking down at the other boy.
"That was…I…what?" he stammered uselessly.
Draco climbed off the couch gracefully and then straddled Harry who was still on the floor. "You're so cute when you stutter." He leaned in for another kiss.
"HOLD UP!" Harry yelled, blocking Draco's face with both of his hands. "Let's get some things straight here. Note, how I said STRAIGHT. Because, I'M NOT GAY! Also, I am not feeling sexual tension towards you of all people!" There was a brief pause. "EW!! DON'T LICK MY HAND!" he shrieked, letting go of Draco's face.
"Harry…you're in denial."
"I am not."
"You are gay. I know it, everyone knows it. DUMBLEDORE knows it!"
"I am perfectly straight; I've been with loads of girls."
"Who?"
"Cho and Ginny."
Draco stared at him. "Yeah, you fail. Alright Harry, if you're straight…why did you completely make out with me last night?"
"I did not make out with you! I fell on top of you."
"I see…and I caught you by the lips."
"Yes."
"Okay Harry, then why didn't you get off of me once you 'fell'?"
"Well, given to my new strength, I thought that I had crushed your lungs, so immediately, I started giving you CPR."
"Oh alright…then why was there tongue involved?"
"Well…my hands were trapped-"
"On my ass."
"Yes, I was checking for a broken hipbone. Anyway, since my hands were trapped, I had to use my tongue to open your mouth. And there you have it."
Draco started laughing. "You are so retarded, Potter. Let's see you make an excuse out of this." Without further ado, Draco pinned Harry's wrists above his head with his own hands, and crashed his lips on to the other boys. And no small children, that is not how you give CPR.
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"Sir, Malfoy is molesting me and I no longer feel safe in our room." said Harry to Professor Dumbledore. He and Draco were both sitting in chairs next to one another, opposite to the Headmaster.
"Oh Harry, he has to."
"Why?"
"Because…he's your mate."
"WHAT?"
"Oh just kidding….that gets me every time." said the old man, wiping tears from his eyes, still chuckling.
"Sir…" continued Harry, still breathing rather heavily, "I haven't showed signs of killing my friends…can't I just…go back to my old room?"
"I'm afraid not Harry…there are too many ifs, whys, and possibilities…I'd would much rather you to stay with Draco."
"Sir…he violates me. I feel extremely uncomfortable." Draco goosed Harry and Harry's voice went a couple octaves higher. "Aren't there rules for this sort of thing sir, when one student feels threatened?"
"No…because I've come to the conclusion that you enjoy it."
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Harry stalked down the corridors, angrily. He certainly did not enjoy being practically raped by Draco. Why should he? He was straight…STRAIGHT GOD DAMN IT!! He couldn't rest in the same room with Draco; the boy was much too excitable. He hadn't showered for days in fear, the same reason that he hadn't changed his clothes. Right now, he didn't give a crap about hygiene. Draco said that vampires were like cats, afraid of water, so he offered to "teach Harry how to shower like a vampire". Yeah, like that was ever going to happen. Unless Professor Dumbledore made them, it seemed like something that he would do.
"Harry!" shouted Professor McGonagall. "You haven't turned in your Transfiguration in yet, and it's over due. If you don't turn it in by Friday, I shall have to give you detention. Is something the matter?" she added, after seeing Harry's look of DOOM.
"YES!" he shouted, "SOMETHING'S THE MATTER! I HAVEN'T TURNED IN YOUR ESSAY BECAUSE THE NIGHT IT WAS ASSIGNED I WAS UNCONCIOUS AFTER SEEING COLIN CREEVEY DIE! I'VE BEEN ASSULTED, I'VE HAD EIGHT FOOT WINGS BURST OUT OF MY BACK! I DRANK DRACO MALFOY'S BLOOD AND SINCE THEN HE'S PRACTICALLY BEEN RAPING ME! LORD VOLDEMORT IS STILL ALIVE AND HE'S OUT TO KILL ME, I HAVEN'T TALKED TO RON AND HERMIONE SINCE FOREVER BECAUSE I AM NOT ALLOWED TO LIVE IN THE GRYFFINDOR DORMITRY! BALANCED INSANITY KEEPS MAKING ME RAGE LIKE THIS AND!" he paused to take a deep breath, "AND I'M NOT GAY!"
Professor McGonagall stared at him for a while, and then walked away.
Aw crap, he was thirsty again.
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"LUCIUS! ARE YOU PAYING ATTENTION?!" screamed Voldemort. He and all his Death Eaters were having their weekly Death Eater meeting in the Evil Lair of DOOM. Lucius looked up in surprise, blinking rapidly into the face of EVIL!
"So sorry, my lord, it won't happen again."
"Damn straight…punk. NOW! MY MINIONS!" He spun around and paused for dramatic effect, he was rather good at that. "Firstly, I would like to ask you all for advice. I took the liberty of watching Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets last night…" All of the Death Eaters stared in a silent fascination.
"…When I noticed something. Lucius and Severus here, they have the dramatic hair swish. Does it, or does it not, make them seem more…remarkably evil?"
There was a murmur of agreement among the Death Eaters.
"Now…we are going to vote on the color of extensions I should have put in."
"Um…lord?" spoke up Avery, timidly. "Don't you…don't you need hair first to get extensions?"
"SILENCE! I am the most powerful Sorcerer in the world! Nothing will stop me!"
"Actually Dumble-"
"AVADA KEDAVRA...Now…back to business."
The death Eaters took out their notebooks, ready to take jot down anything of importance.
"It has come to my realization…" started Voldemort, "that Mr. Potter has developed a recent friendship."
A wave of excitement washed over the followers.
"With…DRACO LIND MALFOY!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" Malfoy dropped to the ground and started shrieking in horror. "MY ONLY SON!! NO!!!
"YO! DON'T FLIP YOUR LID FOO'!"
That certainly got him to stop.
"This can certainly be used to our advantage boys…MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH" he paused, "LAUGH WITH ME!!"
"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
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A/N: Well, there you have it. My so-called-friend hmph, told me that this chapter was "one step away from the pit of failure" so I would really, really appreciate some reassurance that it wasn't…please? I am aware that it's not my best…but…I just really wanted to update!
