I'm sure Amanda was freaking out by now and of course my phone was dead. I could only imagine the countless panicked voice mails she must have left. I hope she didn't report me missing or some shit. I can take care of myself and she should know that by now. The last thing I needed was for cops to be looking for me.

I dug around my car in false hopes of finding a phone charger. I knew I wouldn't find one; I was always so meticulous about keeping my car spotless. I didn't even have a change of clothes. I had been messy with my kill and got blood on the white tank top I had been wearing since the canoe trip. Thankfully Dontae, the smallest of the three men, gave me a shirt to wear, but I couldn't continue like this; I had to go home. I needed my own things.

I couldn't even remember how long I had been away from home. How many days had passed since the canoe trip? I shuffled through my weak human memories searching for a clue. Changing had been so painful and I had no idea how long I had blacked out for. I know that I spent the majority of the time passed out, dreaming to escape the pain, but for how long? I decided not to concentrate on how much time had passed and instead on the day of the canoe trip.

It was like looking through cloudy glass.

It was a Monday. The semester was already over but my biology class was going to meet one last time to go on a canoe trip through Fish Trap Bay. Like every Monday, Amanda woke me up at seven. She works for a landscape design company and I babysat for her during the day. She worked five days a week and had night classes on Tuesday and Thursday. I also worked five days a week but I worked nights at a sub shop and had class Monday and Wednesday nights, my two days off. We arranged our schedule so that someone would almost always be there to watch Emma. The only time we had to take her to 'gramma's' was when Amanda was in class and I was at work. Even though we tried to avoid relying on Amanda's mother too much, it was still nice to have the option of having her watch Emma when we couldn't. Between school and work, Amanda and I barely had time for anything else.

That morning, like every other morning, we sat in our makeshift dining room which was just the corner of the living room next to the kitchen. We lived in a shitty duplex at the end of Miami Boulevard. It wasn't the best neighborhood, but the rent was cheap and we lived close to the school and 'gramma's' house so I couldn't complain. At least I was away from foster care. I still had someone check up on me every other month to make sure I was doing alright or whatever the fuck they check for, like they really give a damn.

Amanda was in a great mood that morning. The semester was over. Even the fact that we were down to our last pack of cigarettes didn't bother her. We sat drinking our Pepsi -we didn't drink coffee- and talked about what we were going to do over break until she had to leave. Emma was still sleeping and wouldn't be up until eight-thirtyish.

My life had become very routine. I took a shower and dressed for the day. By that time Emma, who is eleven months old, would start to wake. I would change her and feed her breakfast. We would then play. She was very aware of her surroundings and intelligent for a child so small. The only word she had said yet is "bah" which in 'Emma talk' meant bye. I keep trying to get her to say auntie but she won't.

She drools. A lot. I have never seen a kid drool so much in my life. The doctors say it is just because she's teething and should stop by the time she's 16 months or so.

I hope so. We go through a shirt an hour with the amount of drool coming out of this girl's mouth. She is a fountain; it would gross me out if she wasn't so damn cute.

After play time, Emma took a nap and I started the laundry. I didn't have any work to do seeing as school was out so I took out my abused copy of Wuthering Heights. Amanda hates this book, but I think it's romantic. Catherine and Heathcliff are disgusting people, yet through it all, they still can love. It is a story about real life and human nature. Humans are disgusting, selfish, and malignant and this book does not sugar coat the awful truth of it all.

After the nap, I fed Emma lunch and put her in her walker as I cleaned our makeshift house. She giggled along to the obnoxious rap I played while cleaning. I'm sure those stiffs who write the baby books wouldn't approve of the music we let her listen to, but it makes her happy so fuck them. I would do anything to hear that beautiful baby laugh. "Ay Bay Bay" by Hurricane Chris came on, her favorite song and she got so excited, you'd think she met the real life Winnie the Pooh. I swear her first phrase is going to be "ay bay bay" and I'll be right there with the video camera to send it in to America's Funniest Home Videos. I love that little girlie.

Amanda got home at three-thirty like always. She sat on the counter of our tiny kitchen while I cooked us a late lunch and told me about her day. After we finished eating, I left for my five 'o clock class for the last time.

"I'll still be up when you get home. We need to do something tonight to celebrate summer," Amanda called after me.

"Sure, I might be home a little later than usual. I'll call you." I kissed Emma and walked out.

A little later than usual was a definite understatement, I don't even remember how long ago that was.

I walked into the house where Marcellus and Dontae were talking at the dining room table. Javier had gone on his own hunting trip. The mess we had made earlier was still there. Drywall littered the tile floor and splintered wood could be seen scattered in the kitchen. I was responsible for the damage and I felt like I should be blushing, but thankfully, I couldn't. Instead, I giggled to myself at the memory.

Javier's lips.

His hands.

His body pressed against me.

On top of me.

I was distracted, always distracted, from my main purpose of coming inside and I felt so bad about the mess that I used my gift to sweep up a little. I tried to stand a broken two-by-four up to make the poor, dead wall look better, but without the support of my gift, it just fell back down with a 'clank' against the floor.

"Sorry," I muttered to the others. Dontae looked up and nodded. He seemed bored and didn't care at all about the mess, which made me feel relieved. I looked down at my borrowed shirt. The sight of Dontae's light silk shirt hanging loosely off me, reminded me why I came inside.

"I need to go home."

Dontae's bored expression tuned to shock, even Marcellus quirked an eyebrow at this. Why was I always shocking them? It didn't seem like that strange of a comment.

"You know you can't do that. It is too dangerous," Dontae managed to say. "Don't you have a roommate? You would kill her." He was stern with his warning, always in control, the leader.

I thought about how instinct completely took over me earlier in the woods. Could that happen with Amanda and the baby? No, I can control myself, especially with them. There was no way I would ever kill her or Emma.

"You're wrong. I can control myself." I wasn't going to step down to him. He couldn't make me.

"Nonsense, you are only hours old. It is impossible to control such a thing while so young," Dontae shrugged it off as if it was nothing. Common sense.

"You know Dontae," Marcellus said quietly. "Most newborns can't even reason like she can. I believe she is more different than we think." He winked at me. I growled under my breath knowing they both could hear.

"I don't care how different she is, no newborn can handle being around humans."

Why was I standing around listening to them talk about me like I wasn't even here? The sun was out even though it was still raining. I could protect myself and they couldn't follow me even if they wanted to. This thought registered in a matter of half a second and I turned for the door. I blocked out the guys behind me and used my gift to keep them away as I walked outside. I didn't turn to see if they tried to follow. I didn't care… Let them follow me.

I got in my car and drove to the end of the street. I knew exactly where I was. This was only a few streets away from where I lived when I first met Amanda and two streets west of Miami Boulevard. I drove all the way to the end of the road where our duplex sat and got out. Amanda's beat up Chevy truck was in the driveway. I got out of my car and stood there. I could hear her heart beat from inside. Close by, I heard another heart, smaller, but still as strong as her mother's. Winnie the Pooh was on the TV and I'm pretty sure I could hear every drag Amanda took of her cigarette. They were long and forced, followed by silence and then her long exhale. Amanda was stressed and I bet she chain smoked through an entire carton of Reds since I had gone missing.

I decided she would get lung cancer if I waited any longer so I walked through the door of our pathetic, make shift house.