Hello! sorry for the delay!

Warnings: Attempted Rape and Attempted Murder (Sorry)

That is all.


Cas was one hundred percent sure that Dean Winchester was going to be the death of him, or at least his academic record anyway. How was he supposed to concentrate in class when all he could think about the sight and smell of Dean coming in his pants right next to him? The smell of Dean had surrounded him, almost suffocating him in its fog of arousal. It had completely mortified him when Dean had noticed he'd leaked on the couch, and he'd honestly thought it would scare him off.

When Dean had licked the liquid off his fingers though… it was like a switch had been flicked on in Cas' head. Every nerve ending had turned into a tiny pin prick of pure sensation. Even though neither he nor Dean were actually touching, it felt like they were connected on an entirely different level. He wasn't sure if Dean had felt it as well, but he had looked fairly happy during the experience.

For his first sexual experience, Cas thought he'd handled it quite well. Dean didn't need to know just yet that Cas had very little experience in that area. If it ever came up, he would tell him. But he didn't think there was any harm in Dean thinking he had a tad more experience than he might necessarily have. A small part of him still wanted to tell Dean that he had no experience, that he was a virgin, but then another, louder part, wanted Dean to think he might have some competition.

Dean had text him later, asking if he'd crossed a line. Cas remembered the blush that spread across his cheeks and quickly texting him back that no, he had not.

They had agreed to meet up again, Dean asking Cas if he'd like to go and see the newest Jurassic park movie. He'd heard very good things about it, so he had happily agreed. Hell, even if it was crap, he'd endure it just to spend more alone time with Dean.

"Castiel."

He whipped his head up from his desk, totally oblivious to what the teacher wanted from him. He knew he was in biology, so that was something. He just couldn't for the life of him figure out what the teacher was asking. He blinked up at the man glaring at him.

"Sorry, sir."

"Castiel, this is AP biology. I expect your utmost attention."

"Yes, sir." Cas started scribbling in his notebook, mostly to look like he was doing something. Nothing the teacher had been talking about had reached the recesses of Cas' brain where he'd gone to think about Dean.

"Now, going back to the topic before, reproduction." Cas' head shot up, immediately more interest in the current topic. This had the potential to mean something to him and Gabriel. "In short, because we have gone over this before, there are many different reproductive cycles in the animal kingdom. Some animals, such as horses are active in spring or summer when the day length is longer, while short day breeders, such as sheep or goats are active in fall or winter. Cycles occur so that offspring are born when food is most likely to be plentiful, and the weather favourable."

Cas was trying his best to absorb as much information as possible, but it was horribly hard to do when all he could think about was what the hell were him and Gabriel going to do if either of them got knocked up? Would Balthazar be able to figure out when they were most likely to get pregnant? Did that episode they had mean they had heats?

There were so many questions whirling around inside Cas' head that before he knew it, he was on his way to the changing rooms to get ready for gym. He wasn't the most athletic of people, he went running when he could to stay in shape and stay fit, but he wasn't a gym buff. Not like a lot of the other guys in his year.

The changing rooms were awash with sweat and testosterone. Already, half naked young men wandered around, joking with each other childishly. Cas tried his best to remain invisible, hugging the wall and finding a quiet corner to get changed. At least he'd managed to find the trigger for his persistent leaking. As long as he didn't think about him, then he would be fine.

Dragging his shirt over his head, he felt the small hairs on the back of his neck spike, as a flush of fear raced through him. He glanced around, trying to catch who had been watching him. The changing room had emptied of his classmates, so he hurried to join them, he didn't want to get detention for being late.

He didn't enjoy gym class.

It was, for obvious reasons, his least favourite class. There was no AP gym class, and even if there were, he certainly wouldn't be in it. Today's particular form of torture was dodge ball. Usually, his classmates would target their friends and have fun with it. He took no such pleasure in inflicting pain on his fellow man. Even though it shouldn't annoy him, he had no friends in this class, being picked last sucked. He always was, without fail, but it was always cause for embarrassment. He supposed the feeling went right back to their days when proto humans would form troops. Being alone or separated meant getting killed, so it was no surprise that he reacted with such a sharp emotion every time it happened.

Trudging over to his team's side of the court, he tried to keep to the back as much as possible, so as to not be such an easy target. He was usually left until last anyway, not even considered worthy of a quick exit.

Dean thinks you're worthy.

Thank you, that was very helpful. Now he was worried he was going to start leaking all over the court. He didn't even register when the whistle blew and balls started flying everywhere. He ducked and dived as much as he could, avoiding the balls his teammates wanted more than him.

Twenty tense minutes later, there were just three of his team mates left, along with him, and two on the apposing team. Someone he didn't know, and Lucifer sneered back at them, taunting them.

"You little bitches wana play?" Lucifer yelled, not even concerned that the teacher was right there. He was the star of the football team; the teachers pretty much ate out of his hand.

One of Cas' teammates launched forward and was struck by the evil red, rubber ball thrown by the random student. It didn't escape Cas' attention that Lucifer kept throwing glances his way, as if keeping him in eyesight would eliminate him as a threat.

What threat?

He didn't even have a ball in his hands, which his teammates kept reminding him of with hateful looks and glances. Two more of his teammates were eliminated, along with Lucifer's second in command, so in the end, of course, it boiled down to just the two of them.

"Told you id be seeing you again, shorty." Cas narrowed his eyes, the nickname didn't even make sense. Yes, he was slightly shorter than Lucifer, but not by much. He decided to arm himself; maybe he could use the ball as some kind of shield.

Not taking his eyes off his opponent, his hands wrapped around the rubber ball in front of him.

"You can wrap your hands around something of mine, shorty. I'm sure you'd like that, wouldn't ya?" God he was a knuckle dragger. Who even said things like that? He was talking quietly enough that only Cas could hear, but still. They had barely said two words to each other before this, and he was talking like Cas was just presenting himself.

"I would appreciate it if you didn't talk to me like that, Lucifer." He tried to be polite, but that just seemed to anger the other guy.

"Fuck you, you little bitch. I can smell you from here." Cas stilled, sure he'd heard wrong. Gabriel and Dean were the only people who could smell him, weren't they? His confusion must have registered on his face, because Lucifer chuckled darkly. "You're not the only one, bitch." The bastard took advantage of Cas' shocked confusion, putting all of his weight behind his throw, launching it directly at Cas' face.

Cas turned his head, just as the ball connected. It slammed into the side of his head, knocking him on his ass, his ears ringing. He closed his eyes, unwilling to acknowledge anything he'd just learned. He cracked open his eyes when the teacher knelt down and put hand on his head.

"You alright, kid?" even the teacher didn't know his name, how utterly pathetic.

Dean knows your name, nothing else matters.

Now was not the time.

Clutching his aching head between shaking hands, he stood up and stumbled towards the changing rooms. He needed some cold water and a rest. Maybe he'd go to the nurse, that seemed like a good idea.

He wasn't aware anyone had followed him into the changing room until he was gingerly getting changed. He'd just removed his shorts to put his jeans back on, when he felt something move behind him. Now that he knew something was there, he inhaled, breathing in the scent of dead wood, ash and singed things.

He braced himself before whirling around very aware that he wasn't wearing any pants. Lucifer was standing behind him, a leering grin on his face that made him look slightly insane. Cas was still, not wanting to move in case it incited some sort of negative response from the other man.

"What 'ya say, sweetheart? Wana wrap those pink little lips around my cock?" The disgusting excuse for a human being leaned in further, slamming a hand either side of Cas, effectively trapping him where he was. He knew now was not a time for joking, this was a serious situation, and since there was no one around, he had little hope of rescue.

"I must decline, Lucifer. I, ah, have to get home. So if you could just…" Cas trailed off and tried to move to the side, away from the cage of Lucifer's arms.

"Ah, Ah, Ahhhh little bitch, we've got some business to take care of." He smiled darkly, and Cas couldn't for the life of him suppress a shiver. For some horrible reason, Lucifer seemed to take great pride in that. "Yeah, love it when you react to me, like a good little bitch."

Cas had no idea why he kept referring to him like that, but the longer he talked, the more likely it was that someone would walk in on them, he could only hope. If he just kept his cool, everything would be fine.

That was, until Lucifer slid one of his hands down the wall, and cupped Cas' ass. His entire body went cold at the touch, and his heart almost tripled in speed. This was escalating, he had to get out.

"Look, you need to let me go. I won't tell anyone, but you need to let me go." Cas said the last words very loudly, while pushing against Lucifer's chest with everything he had, fear welling up inside him, threatening to eclipse everything else.

Lucifer didn't even budge, but his look darkened considerably.

"Don't push me, bitch. We can do this the easy way, or the fun way." Cas didn't want to find out what that meant. He drew his fist back and punched as hard as he could, in the confined space. He'd obviously taken Lucifer by surprise, because he managed to catch him just underneath his right eye.

Cas should have known, it was not a good idea to poke an angry bear when you are cornered by said bear.

With a roar of what must have been rage, Lucifer grabbed Cas around the neck and lifted him off the floor. The pressure on his head was enormous, it felt like his brain was going to explode out his ears, in fact he almost wished it would, to lessen the pain. He was scrabbling at Lucifer's hands, trying in vain to gain enough purchase to rip them away. He was squeezing now, blocking off the vital air coming in short gasps through Cas' panicked throat.

This was it; he was going to die in a dirty school changing room, never having even been kissed. The thought of Dean, and never seeing him again, tore a ragged wound through him, and he cried out in desperation, as much as his crushed throat allowed him.

"No one's gonna hear you, you disrespectful little bitch. You chose the fun way, so that's how we're gonna play it." Fantastic, he was going to make him pass out or die, then rape his corpse. He didn't think his hatred for this mud monkey could escalate any further.

He could almost smell his own terror, and for a moment he thought he'd actually pissed himself. He took another small whiff, as much as Lucifer's fists would allow, and was met with the smell of burnt books and rotted apples. It took him a moment to realise that the smell was coming from him.

Lucifer must have noticed his unfocused eyes, because he paused his strangling to sniff as well. The smiled he cracked would haunt Cas for months, he was sure.

"Fuck, I love that smell."

Cas would have gagged, if he wasn't currently dying. He closed his eyes, not willing to give his enemy the satisfaction of seeing the fear he so obviously loved, in his victims eyes.

He didn't want to cry, he wanted to be strong, but with the knowledge of what was coming heavy on his mind, he thought it was fair enough. He sniffed, trying to hold some kind of dignity, when he caught something. The slight tinge of candy, sugar and cinnamon…

Gabriel.

Using everything he had left, and using Lucifer's lack of attention, he turned his head down as much as he could, and bit into the meat of his arm. The howl of rage that followed allowed Cas to scream at the top of his burning lungs, knowing without a doubt his brother would rescue him.

Gabriel charged into the changing room, followed by two others. He took in the scene in front of him, and to Cas it seemed like something snapped in his brother. With an almost inhuman roar, Gabriel leapt over the bench separating the room and tackled Lucifer.

Cas had no idea how his brother managed it, as he was shorter that Cas and Lucifer was a big guy, but he ended up pinning the larger man to the ground, punching the living shit out of his face, interrupting each punch with a word.

"Now… Listen… Here… You… Arrogant… Dick…" Gabriel was really hammering into the guy, who was writhing around helplessly. Cas was sagging against the wall, clutching his throat. "You don't ever come near my brother again, you hear me?"

Lucifer was glaring up at him, blood trickling, or more pouring out of his nose and mouth. He spat up at Gabriel, a great glob of blood and god only knows what else, hitting his brother in the neck.

"Fuck you, and your little bitch of a brother." He pushed Gabriel away before lurching up and stumbling away. He paused at the door before turning back, whipping away some of the blood. "This isn't over." He disappeared out the door, and Cas was finally able to slide down the wall, relief washing over him.

Gabriel rushed over, holding him up before he could drop down any further. Cas rested his face on Gabriel shoulder, not even caring that Gabriel's two friends were still there. Gabriel seemed to notice though, because he looked back and nodded at the other two, who left without a word.

"We're not gonna talk about it here, ok? Let's get you home." Gabriel hooked his arm under Cas' arms, hefting him up and allowing him to use him as support as they exited the school. People shot them shocked looks and whispered behind their hands as they made their way to the front entrance and Cas was grateful he'd managed to get his clothes on. Gabriel set him down on the grass, before reaching for his phone.

He watched as his brother first tried Anna, then the hospital. "Bro, Anna's in surgery. I, uh, shit. Um, who should I call?" Gabriel looked stricken, and he knew how he felt. The only family they had was Anna, who would they call in an emergency like this?

Well, there was only one answer for Cas.

"Call Dean."

Cas ignored Gabriel reaction to his request, he didn't want his brothers questions right now, they could wait. His throat hurt and he was feeling dizzy from what he suspected was a concussion. He watched as Gabriel found Deans number, and listened as the man himself picked up.

"Hey, Dean, yeah it's Gabriel."

Some garbled noise on the other end, probably Dean asking what was up. He wondered what Dean would do when he saw Cas in this state, if he'd still want anything to do with him. Trouble seemed to follow him like a bad smell.

"Yeah, uh, listen, can I ask a major favour? Somethings like, happened, and I can't reach Anna and I need someone to pick us up."

"Yeah, Cas is here to. No, ah, he's not ok, please, just hurry, ok?"

"Thanks man."

Gabriel hung up the phone and wiped a hand over his face.

"Dean will be here soon. He sounded upset when I, well you heard me." Gabriel sat down beside him, hovering, not knowing what to do. He settled with playing with his phone.

"He could smell me, Gabe. Like, smell everything, just like you and Dean." Cas said quietly, not wanting anyone to overhear. He touched his fingers gingerly to his neck, wincing at the painful bruises he could already feel forming around his neck. Dean was not going to be happy when he saw the state of him, but he was more concerned about the fact that Lucifer was apparently like them. How many more were out there? Had he the same condition as Dean?

"Cas, they're here. You don't have to say anything; I'll explain what happened, ok?" Gabriel hugged him, one arm around his shoulders, and they stood up together. Dean's car was parked along from the school gates, so they didn't have to wander through any more curious crowds. Gabriel steered him towards the back seat of the car, and Cas flicked his collar up so Dean wouldn't see the bruises, not in public at least. His face was still a little red and slightly bruised from where the ball hit him though, so he ducked and turned his head when they got near. Gabriel gestured for the brothers to stay in the car, so he opened the back door for Cas and followed him inside.

"Dude, what happened?" Sam asked from the front seat. He'd turned around and was looking between Cas and Gabriel, waiting for one of them to answer. Cas snuck a look at Dean, who had remained silent and still in the driver's seat. Their eyes met in the rear vision mirror, and Cas felt his breath catch in his rough, sore throat at the look in Deans eyes.

He'd never seen anyone look as menacing and cold, but with such fire he could almost see the flames dancing behind his eyes. Cas gulped and looked away, unable to hold Deans gaze any longer. He hugged himself tighter, relieved when Dean started driving away from the school.

"Uh, can we talk about it when we get home?" Cas saw Gabriel give him a furtive glance, clearly thinking Cas might just crumble in his fragile state. He could be right.

Pulling up at their house a few minutes later, Cas carefully made his way out of the car and up the path to their front door. Gabriel was right beside him, opening it and letting him in. He didn't stop walking until he was outside their bathroom. When he put his hand on the door knob, Gabriel covered it with his own. Cas looked up into his brothers eyes, seeing concern, anger and love, all dancing around.

"You need anything, just give me a yell, ok?" His brother said, voice soft and gentle, so at odds with the raging beast he'd seen in the changing room. Cas gave a short nod and let himself into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. He turned the water on in the shower to warm up, and then started to undress.

He noticed first that he had blood on him; he assumed it was from where he'd bitten Lucifer. At least he'd dealt some of his own damage to the bastard. Very carefully, Cas lifted his shirt over his head, hissing when it came into contact with the bruises. When he was completely bare, he stood in front of the mirror, and assessed his injuries.

One side of his face was red and swollen, not a lot but enough for it to be noticeable. He had some scratches on his back from where the wall had rubbed him. The most horrific sight though, was the bruises around his neck. Dark purple, finger shaped bruises that encircled his slim neck like a fucking collar. From right up under his jaw to rest on his shoulders, two dark thumb marks pressed into the area either side of his oesophagus.

Hot tears prickled behind his eyes as the reality of the situation finally began to hit him.

Lucifer was going to rape him.

Lucifer was going to kill him.

He'd done nothing wrong, why would he want to kill him?

He didn't even notice his sobbing, not until it became hard to breathe through his nose and he had to take a great shuddering breath through his mouth. He covered his traitorous mouth, shaking silently at the knowledge that he very nearly lost his dignity and his life.

He staggered into the shower, slightly surprised he didn't slip and fall. He closed his eyes, gasping for breath under the hot jets, feeling the scalding water wash away all traces of the evil man that had touched him.

The shower wasn't nearly long enough, but he knew explanations were needed and he desperately wanted, no, needed, to see Dean. Even if he was cold and distant because another man had touched him, his presence would make things slightly more bearable.

Clumsily making his way to his bedroom, his head and feet felt like they weighed about one hundred tons, he was beyond surprised to find Dean sitting on his bed, staring at the wall. He was ashamed of it, but instantly he felt afraid. He knew Dean would never hurt him, but Lucifer was like Dean, in physiology at least. His mind was telling him, screaming at him; to run away, stay away. But everything else ignored it.

He cleared his throat, wanting to get Deans attention but not startle him. Dean turned slowly, trailing his eyes up from Cas' feet, past the towel, up his body to linger on the bruises framing his neck. A low rumbled started in Deans chest, making its way up his throat until it ripped out of his mouth to join his bared elongated teeth.

Alright, now he had reason to be slightly frightened.

"Dean…" Cas was horrified at how weak and shaky his voice sounded, he had wanted to sound admonishing, but it came out more like a piteous little fucking whine.

It seemed to do the trick though, because Dean's eyes immediately flicked up to Cas' and his own turned soft, all the fire and righteous anger burning away to nothing. His teeth slowly returned to normal as Cas watched. They must have been reacting to Dean's anger, which was something they should mention to Balthazar. His train of thought confused him slightly, he should be thinking about the awful situation that had happened, but it was like his brain refused to.

He flinched when he felt fingers brush hesitantly against his arm, and he noticed that Dean had moved from the bed and was standing right in front of him. He breathed in Dean's scent, startled at how much it seemed to calm his racing heart and twisted chest.

"Cas... I am so sorry." What did Dean have to be sorry for? He hadn't attempted to rape or kill him. His eyes must have mirrored his thoughts, because when Dean looked up he answered roughly. "I couldn't protect you, I wasn't... I wasn't there and I'm so sorry."

Alright, now he was just being silly. Of course he wasn't there, how could he have been? Cas was at school and Dean was at work, there was literally nothing that could have been done.

"Dean, don't you dare think that any of this is your fault." Cats managed to rasp out, throat bruised and sore as it was. "That piece of shit got me when he knew there would be no one there to help. But I'm fine, ok? Nothing that won't heal." On the outside, anyway. He was practical; he knew he wouldn't be fine mentally for a while. But he could get through it, he knew that, if he had Dean.

Dean made a choking, gasping sound as he brought his hands up to touch gently at the bruises on Cas' neck. He held in his hiss of pain, no need to upset Dean further. He noticed that Dean had started growling again, a deep rumble sounding in his chest. Cas had no idea where it came from, but he answered with a soft rumbling of his own, and Dean's eyes shot to his. It was as if they were communicating on a base level, reassuring themselves, and each other, that they were alright, they were alive and together.

Very carefully, Dean brought both of his arms up and encircled Cas shoulders. Cas stilled for a second, the memories from school still fresh in his mind, but as soon as he smelled that it was Dean, everything within him relaxed, and he melted into the embrace. He moved his own hands, clutching tightly at Dean's shoulders, drawing them closer together.

He could feel Dean shaking against him, and he thought for a moment that maybe he should be freaking out a bit more for what happened to him. But all he wanted to do was comfort Dean, make sure he was alright. He rubbed his hands in small circles against the other man's back, whispering relaxing words and sounds into his neck.

After a few minutes, within which Cas realised he still did not have any clothes on, Dean seemed to settle enough that he was able to pull away and look Cas directly in the eye.

"I promise you, Cas, no one will ever hurt you again. I will always be there to protect you, no matter what." Dean drew closer, and Cas was sure he was going to kiss him. A bolt of excitement shot through him, despite the earlier situation. Surely he should feel worse right now?

Instead of kissing him, Dean leant forward and connected their foreheads, closed his eyes and sighed into Cas' skin.


Dean didn't know how he kept his cool on the drive over to the Novak's place, hell he couldn't even look back at Cas without an overpowering urge to find whichever fuckstain had done that to the guy, and rip his lungs out through his mouth. The bruises that framed his neck stood out starkly against his pale skin, a constant reminder that Dean wasn't there to protect him. His rational side knew that it wasn't possible, that Cas was at school while he was at work. But still, something within him was roaring that it was his job to protect Cas at all costs. It's indignant rage that someone had the nerve to touch what wasn't his.

But Cas wasn't his either... He wasn't some fucking item that Dean could just claim. But some part of him, some part that had only recently breached the surface of his mind, was quickly convincing him that yes, he did need to claim him, before someone else did.

He shook his head, destabilising that disturbing thought. Cas was in no state for that kind of thinking, so Dean needed to think about that. The here and now were more important; he had to support his friend, even if he did want more.

Pulling up to the house, he watched as the brothers carefully made their way out of the car and up the small path to the house. Sam looked over him, concern covering his face.

"Dean, you need to control yourself, ok? He needs you right now." Sam was right, he knew that, but that didn't mean it didn't tick him off at being told by his baby brother that he needed to not act like a dick for once in his life.

"Yeah, Sam, I know. I'll be good, don't worry." Dean eased himself out of the car, following Sam up the path and into the house. The made their way to the kitchen to wait for Gabriel, who had evidently followed Cas further into the house.

Gabriel stalked into the kitchen, and Dean could practically smell the anger and rage rolling off him. In fact, he actually could. Talking a deep whiff, he could smell burnt sugar swirling around the other guy. It was weird, being able to actually smell emotions. Gabriel sat down heavily at the table, letting his head fall forward into his hands.

"Cas almost got raped."

The table splintered and broke under Dean's hands, and both Sam and Gabriel looked over at him in shock. He knew Cas looked pretty beat up, and he could just tell he was fearful and scared, but it hadn't even crossed his mind that the filth that had touched him had tried to force himself on Cas. Dean fixed Gabriel with a hard stare.

"Tell me what happened." Dean said in a low voice, brokering no question that Gabriel had better answer seriously, and quickly. Gabriel visibly swallowed, and Dean realised he could also probably smell the rage rolling of Dean.

"Well, uh, I was walking past the gym block, and I could smell, I dunno, something familiar. It wasn't until I heard Cas scream that I realised it was him. That fucking asshole was holding him by his neck, against a wall. Something, something fucking snapped in me. I don't know how I did it, but I managed to get him off Cas, and then beat the crap outta him. I told him not to come near us again, and that was it. He pissed off, but before he left, he said that it wasn't over, or some shit." Gabriel's telling of the events came out in a rush, as if wanting to get it over with so he didn't have to think about it again.

Den closed his eyes, willing himself to calm down. He could feel his teeth starting to grow, and he wanted to see Cas, but he didn't wana freak him out. He rose from the table, getting a look from Sam as he went. He looked down at Gabriel, who was looking at him with that calculating stare that Cas and him seemed to share.

"Go see him, he needs you know more than me." Gabriel said, eyes clearing so they held more of the usual humour he was used to. "Just, behave yourself. He's had enough rape for one day." Sam punched him in the arm, muttering something about a sick sense of humour and that's your brother man.

Dean just shook his head and made his way up the stairs to Cas' room. As he passed the bathroom, he stopped, seeing the steam making its way out from under the door. He leant in close, unable to stop himself trying to get close to Cas. He stilled when he heard muffled sobbing coming from inside, and his rage was renewed, tenfold. He clenched his fists tight, biting back the growl that was trying to make its way up his throat.

He turned sharply, not trusting himself not to break down the door and take Cas in his arms, and practically fell into Cas' room. He sat heavily on the bed, head in his hands, trying to calm himself down. It took a very long time, and he still wasn't really all that settled when he heard a slight cough from above him.

Not wanting to startle Cas, he slowly raised his eyes, starting at Cas' bare feet, past the towel and then up over his toned body. Dean wished with everything he had that this wasn't the first time he'd seen Cas naked, in the flesh. He'd wanted the first time to be one of passion, and heat and hopefully, love.

Turns out life doesn't work that way.

When his eyes centred on the bruises encircling Cas' neck, he couldn't help the growl that started rumbling in his chest, or his teeth growing and sharpening. He opened his mouth to relieve the pressure, and the growl building within him exploded into the air around him. Cas' eyes widened, and he gasped.

"Dean..." The sound that breathed from Cas was nothing he'd ever heard, it made his heart contract painfully and his eyes snapped up to centre on Cas'. All of the anger and torment within him faded away at the sight of Cas' scared gaze upon his. He must have looked a fucking sight, teeth all weird looking and eyes fiery. He forced himself to calm down; he had to be what Cas needed him to be right now, which was level headed and strong. He stood up, and walked towards Cas slowly. He didn't want to startle him, but he also desperately needed to touch him.

He stilled when Cas flinched slightly when he brushed his fingers gently up his arm, and all the fight left his body. All he wanted to do was envelope Cas and never let him go. It was his job to protect him, and he'd failed.

"Cas, I am so sorry." Dean watched as Cas tilted his head, that movement that he had come to recognise as Cas puzzling over something he didn't quite understand. Dean tried to spell it out for him, even though his throat was quickly tightening, succumbing to the emotions boiling under his skin. "I couldn't protect you. I wasn't... I wasn't there and I'm so sorry."

"Dean, don't you dare think that any of this is your fault." Cas rasped out, throat bruised and sore. "That piece of shit got me when he knew there would be no one there to help. But I'm fine, ok? Nothing that won't heal." Dean could almost hear the end of that sentence that Cas wasn't saying. There were things on the inside that would take a very long time to heal, but dammit Dean was going to help him through it, all of it.

He opened his mouth, and raised his hands to gently brush over the bruises at Cas' neck. He wanted to say something, anything, to tell Cas how he felt, but all that came out was some horrible choking, gasping sound of pure anguish. It felt like his heart was being strangled by his lungs, and his stomach was trying to stab them all. Cas needed him to be strong, and here he was, crumbling under the weight of Cas' pain.

Cas stilled when he touched him, and Dean wanted to do something to reassure the other man, to make him see that everything was ok, they're both here, and that's something. Unbidden, a growl, very different to the aggressive one before, started rumbling in his chest. It almost felt like it was a reassuring sound, an encouraging sound, and Cas seemed to agree. A soft rumbling was coming from Cas, almost in response to Dean's own sound. He snapped his eyes up to Cas', just to make sure what was coming from his chest was reflected there. The two sounds seemed to intertwine around each other, bringing their bodies together in harmony.

Dean drew his hands up Cas' arms and encircled his shoulders and, careful to avoid the bruises, he nestled his head into Cas warm shoulder. The other man responded in kind, clutching Dean's shoulders tightly. Dean knew he was shaking, he could feel his muscles trembling, and Cas must have felt it too, because he started rubbing soothing circles into Dean's back, murmuring and whispering quietly.

Once he felt like he'd calmed down enough to talk like a normal person again, Dean took a step back and fixed Cas with a stare that he hoped conveyed how much he cared.

"I promise you, Cas, no one will ever hurt you again. I will always be there to protect you, no matter what." Dean drew closer, and saw a flash of something shoot through Cas' eyes. He looked down at Cas' plump lips and desperately wanted to meet them with his own, but he knew now was not the time. Like everything else, he wanted their first time to be special, not marred by this horrific day.

Instead, Dean leant forward and rested his forehead against Cas', closed his eyes and sighed into Cas' skin.

He would find a way to fix this; he had to, for Cas' sake, as well as his own.