OCTOBER 18 1988

All it takes is one action to change the natural order of things.

Truth be told, the feeling I had when I broke Billy's arm was amazing, but now I have a new set of problems.

Billy's done for now, but when he gets fully healed, he's sure to come back for revenge. I know I would.

Lucas, he saw me, the real me. I told him not to tell anybody about what happened. I don't know if he was actually listening,but I'm in deep shit either way.

I didn't do it to stop Billy's reign of terror. I did it because my urge has been eating at me. Ever since Jane told me that she's a killer, my urge has been growing out of control. Manhandling Billy has cooled it down a bit, but it's gonna grow again. I've always been in control of my urges for the most part, up until now. I'm a ticking time bomb. Tick-tock.

This lunch table is the last place I wanna be. If I didn't tell Jane who I am, it would be easier for me to walk away from her. I don't know what she is to me yet. She knows who I am. This forces me to be cautious.

"How the hell did he break his arm again?!" Dustin asks Max.

Max has this incredible smile on her face. She's unnaturally happy right now, and it's all because of me.

"He fell down some stairs!" Max replies, sounding ecstatic.

I did tell him to come up with a shitty excuse.

"WOW! What an idiot!" Dustin shouts, shaking his head.

"Yeah," Lucas says awkwardly.

Lucas gives me that look. He has to pretend that he's just now learning about this. I'm sure he'll be cool.

"Well that's good!" Jane says.

Max nods her head with excitement.

"You're damn right it's good! It's fucking great! The best thing to happen in months!" Max shouts.

"So what is he doing now?" Lucas asks.

"Probably laying in bed like a wimp. Son-of-a-bitch totally deserves it!" Max replies.

"Totally!" Dustin says.

Max looks at Jane and smirks.

"So we're still going to the arcade after school, right?" Max asks Jane.

I hate Thursdays and Fridays. The arcade, or as I like to refer to it as, PLEASE HELP ME.

"Uhhh, yeah, why wouldn't we?" Jane replies.

"After what happened yesterday with Troy, I just wanna know if the whole group is going today?"

Jane looks at me. Stop looking at me.

"Mike, you wanna go today?" Jane asks, slightly smiling.

NO.

"Sure!" I say with excitement.

How these creatures have managed to survive this long by going to the arcade routinely every Thursday and Friday is beyond me.

Jane grabs my hand that's sitting on the table and gives me a warm smile.

She's never touched me like this before in front of her friends. What the fuck is going on?!

I can just see them out of the corner of my eye. They're looking at our physical contact with each other like it means something, like we are something. But pretending is the name of the game.

I smile back at her.

--

Ah, school's over. Now it's time to go to that dreadful place with my so called girlfriend.

"Mike!"

A random feminine voice screams from behind. I turn around to find that it's Stacey. Ugh.

She's in my last period. For some reason, she can't take a hint that I'm not interested.

She walks up to me by one of the lockers in the hallway.

"Stacey? What's up?"

There she goes again. She looks at me like I'm some trophy that she so desperately needs.

"Hi….."

Can we move this along already?

"Hey….. What's up?"

"I was wondering if you're gonna go to the Halloween party next Saturday? It's gonna be really fun!" Stacey says with excitement.

Parties, an excuse for teenagers to get drunk and have sex. No thanks.

"Uhh, No thanks. I'm not really one for parties…"

She makes a sad facial expression.

"Aww, come on, you never wanna do anything. What else do you got to do?" Stacey asks, sounding upset.

I shrug my shoulders and awkwardly smile.

"What can I say? I'm a boring person."

Stacey sighs and stares at me. I can feel her studying my body.

She slowly puts her hand on my shoulder.

"Please, Mike…….. I really… like you…."

She gives me puppy dog eyes.

Would this be considered sexual assault?

Must find a reasonable reply.

"I, uh, I just… I appreciate the offer, but I'm really not in the mood for parties right now. Sorry…."

Stacey takes her hand off my shoulder and sighs. She pulls out a slip of paper and pen. She writes something down on it and hands it to me.

It's numbers…

"What is this?" I ask.

"It's my number. Call me sometime?"

With the slip of paper still in my hand, I nod my head, totally confused by what just happened.

She walks away from me. Finally!

I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn around to find Jane scowling at me. What now?!

"What was that?!" Jane asks, sounding mad.

What?

"What?"

"Who was that girl?!"

"Her name is Stacey…"

"Why were you talking to her?!" Jane shouts.

There's still people walking through the hallway, which makes this much more unpleasant.

"She… wanted me to go to a party…"

"And?!"

"I said no?"

I'm so confused.

"You said no?! Then what was with her touching your shoulder?!"

I shake my head, absolutely baffled.

"I don't know."

"And what did she give you?! What's in your hand?!"

She glances at the slip of paper in my hand and reads it. She rolls her eyes at me.

"Really? She gave you her number?!"

"I didn't ask for it, she just randomly gave it to me!" I reply, trying to get out of this hole that I digged for myself.

Jane sighs and shakes her head.

"Did you tell her you have a girlfriend already?!"

Oh, right…

"No……. I didn't."

"Am I even your girlfriend?!" She asks, sounding almost heartbroken.

Please, brain, let me come up with a good response.

"Yes! You are. You're my girlfriend! Please, calm down!"

I comfort her with a hug because it worked the last time she freaked out like this.

She calms down whenever I make contact with her. It seems too easy sometimes.

Shortly after that, we're in my car. I start the car and drive.

Before arriving to the arcade, she turns off the radio and looks at me. I take a quick glance at her but keep my focus on the road.

"Mike…"

"Yeah?"

"Do you still have that slip of paper?" She asks in a soft tone.

"Uhh… yeah, it's in my pocket. Why?"

"Can you give it to me?"

I nod my head and slowly reach into my pocket to grab the slip. I hand it to her.

"What are you gonna do with that?" I wonder.

She puts it in her pocket and smiles weirdly at me.

"Nothing, don't worry about it."

Although I'm clueless when it comes to relationships, I have a pretty good idea on what's gonna happen next.

Girls love fighting over psychopaths, apparently.

--

After getting home from the arcade, eating dinner, and getting ready for bed, El has a weird feeling inside of her. It's telling her to do something……..

Now she remembers. She walks out to the kitchen to find the phone.

El's staring at the phone. She's contemplating doing something really immature, but she doesn't care. This is her first boyfriend ever. This is a boy who is troubled just like her. She knows how precious he is. Even though he thinks he's a monster, she doesn't believe it.

She looks at the slip of paper in her hands, then picks up the phone. She enters the numbers, slowly but surely.

She hears the ringing. El's actually doing this.

Someone picks up.

"Hello?"

It's a female voice on the other line, most likely her mom.

"Yes, I'm Stacey's friend. I need to talk to her real quick."

"Oh, okay. One second…"

Almost a minute goes by before someone comes back to the phone.

"Hello? Who is this?"

"Is this Stacey?"

"Uh, yes……. Who are you?"

"I'm Jane, Mike's girlfriend."

There's a long pause…

"OK," Stacey doesn't know how to respond.

"So do you know why I'm calling now?" El asks, sounding aggressive.

"OK, look, I had no idea he had a girlfriend, he never even mentioned anything about you!"

El is too blinded by jealousy to stay calm.

"I DON'T CARE! YOU STAY AWAY FROM HIM! DON'T TALK TO HIM, DON'T EVEN FUCKING LOOK AT HIM! AND ESPECIALLY DON'T TOUCH HIM. HE'S MINE, YOU DUMB BITCH!"

"I-I-I-I-I-I I didn't do anything, I swear," Stacey nervously says.

"STAY AWAY FROM HIM, OR ELSE!"

El hangs up by slamming the phone down. She takes a look around to make sure nobody saw her.

She quietly gets back into bed and gets a good night's sleep.

--

OCTOBER 19 1988

Nothing better than watching TV in the living room after being at the arcade with my so called girlfriend. It's not that I hate being with her, however I do need some relaxing time.

Nothing interesting is on. I hate cable TV.

Nancy enters the room. She smiles before taking a seat beside me on the couch.

"Don't you just look so excited!" Nancy says sarcastically.

"I'm tired."

We're both maintaining eye contact on the TV while talking.

"Why are you tired?" Nancy asks.

"I'm just tired."

"You're just tired?"

"Yes!" I reply, sounding annoyed.

Nancy sighs and looks at me. I turn my head to her in response.

"I hate it when you do this."

"Do what?!"

"Anytime I ask you about anything, you box me out!" Nancy says.

"Box you out?"

"You never tell me anything, Mike!"

"There's nothing to tell you…"

"Oh, that's just bullshit!" Nancy says, grinning widely.

"Language, Nancy!"

Even though Nancy's a couple years older than me, it always feels like I'm her big brother.

After staring at me with a smirk on her face for a moment, she finally starts talking again.

"Tell me why you're so tired?"

"I was at the arcade."

"With… Jane?"

I nod my head yes.

"So you really like her, right?" Nancy asks.

I still don't know how to talk about this.

"I'm with her."

Nancy laughs at my witty comment.

"You're such a guy."

"What?"

Nancy lets out a chuckle.

"Guys never wanna talk about their feelings. It's like an unwritten code of being a male."

It's best not to talk about things I don't have.

"Did you expect me to say anything...?"

Nancy sighs and shakes her head no.

"You have to be having some sort of feeling, right? The last time you were with a girl was…… Jesus! 8th grade?!?!" Nancy shouts, sounding astonished.

"Can we not talk about that…"

"I can't even remember her name. Didn't you guys fight at the snowball or something?"

Nancy, please shut up.

OK, so you know how I said that I never had a girlfriend? Well, I kinda lied, not really, I don't know. Dad forced me to ask a girl out to the snowball a couple years ago, and yes, it was a nightmare. Her name was Rebecca. It was cringey. Our little relationship ended a couple days later at the snowball.

I look at the TV, not wanting to make eye contact right now. Nancy does the same.

"Those were the dark years of my life…"

Well, those years were darker. It's still really dark.

"Tell me about it. My life was a massive shit storm back then," Nancy replies, sounding stressed out just thinking about it.

It goes silent. I'm bad at conversing. Hopefully she'll get up and go away.

"When I was in bed last night, I kept on having the weirdest thoughts pop into my head," Nancy says.

I guess she's not done yet.

"What… kind of thoughts?"

"Did you hear that story about a jet engine that crashed into a house and killed a boy?" Nancy asks, sounding completely serious.

"Uhh, I don't really pay attention to the news."

I don't.

"It was a couple weeks ago. He was your age. I think his name was Donald Darko or something like that."

Where is she going with this?

"OK…"

Nancy turns her head to me, causing me to do the same to her.

"It just got me thinking. What if that was you? What if you died on one random night because of a fucking jet engine?!" Nancy says, sounding a little upset.

A single tear sneaks out of her right eye.

Don't get all emotional on me!

"Are you okay?!"

Nancy quickly dries her eyes.

"Sorry. I love you. You're my little brother, Mike."

"Interesting how you can go from screaming that you hate me and wish Mom and Dad never adopted me, to now, where you can't talk to me without getting teary eyed."

Nancy punches my arm.

"OW!"

"We were just kids, Mike! We were dumb and rude! You know I love you! I just wish you would show some emotion sometimes…"

You're telling me…

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, the probability of me getting squished by a jet engine falling out of the sky is really low, so you shouldn't have to worry."

Nancy laughs. If I can keep her laughing, she'll let the emotion thing pass. It's worked this far.

"OK, this is what I get for trying to have a serious conversation. I'm going upstairs to shower, so the bathroom is off limits."

Nancy stands up and heads upstairs.

A shower? That probably means she's going to see Steve again. Ugh.

Oh well. Maybe I can be a little louder during my masturbation session tonight.

--

OCTOBER 22 1988

Here I am. Another Monday morning wasting my murdering potential in this institutional hellhole.

The hardest part about English isn't the classwork, it's Troy.

Troy's always bothered me ever since that first day, but I haven't let him get to me in this class. In the parking lot however, that's another story.

Mr. Brown is reading his newspaper, I'm waiting for class to be over in ten minutes, and Troy is about to say some stupid shit to me. Just another day.

I hear his snickering. I can feel him looking right at me. I turn my head to face him. I have to whisper so I don't get in trouble.

"Why the hell are you laughing?!"

"Nothing, Wheeler. How's life been? Your girl treating you well? Is she even your girl? I still don't get that."

And you don't need to.

I don't respond.

"Whatever. I'm having a halloween party on Saturday. Yeah, I know it's not Halloween until next Wednesday, but my parents are out of town."

"And you're telling me this… why?"

"Because… it's gonna be the biggest party in Hawkins history! That's why I'm inviting dorks like you to come. Hell, you can even bring your girl if you want."

Yeah, no thanks. Not a party person. And I'm certainly not bringing Jane. That would be bad for both of us.

"OK."

Troy gets confused.

"What do you mean OK? Are you going or what?!"

"Nah. Parties are for cool kids like you. Why ruin it with me there?"

I sarcastically smile at him.

"This is why I fucking hate you! This is my party!" Troy raises his voice, although Mr. Brown still doesn't hear it.

"I've never liked you, Troy. I'm not starting today."

Troy stares at me with evil intentions before looking away.

Pissing him off is really fun.

--

With Jane at the dentist today, that gives me alone time. I'm curious about the party. Not because I want to go, but because of the opportunity. I feel like all of these pieces are coming together ever since Jane and I met.

I have this urge inside of me, an urge that I'm losing control over. If Jane can kill, why can't I?

I follow Troy's car out of the parking lot. It's annoying because I have to stay back so he doesn't recognize me.

I eventually follow him to his house. It's really big, of course.

Now that I know where he lives, when the opportunity presents itself, my urge will finally be satisfied.

--

OCTOBER 26 1988

"Mike, can I talk to you before you drive me home?" El asks.

El and Mike just got in Mike's car after school. It's just another day for Mike, however El has been feeling weird about their current relationship.

"Uh… OK?" Mike replies, turning his head to face her.

Mike was about to turn the car engine on, but he heard El's unusual tone and stopped.

"It's about us…"

Mike sighs.

"I don't wanna talk about this right now-"

"YOU NEVER DO!" El shouts.

Mike gets startled by El's sudden aggression. El rubs her face with both hands in order to calm herself. She focuses her attention back to Mike.

"Sorry. It's just lately…….. I feel like I'm the only one that wants to be in this relationship…"

Mike's mouth opens. He has no idea how to respond. It takes him so long to reply.

"I…… I wanna be in this relationship…"

"You do?"

"Yes…"

"Then tell me, Mike, do you like me?!"

She still hasn't got a definitive answer.

Mike looks down in shame.

"I told you already, it's complicated."

El's had it. She's tired of the games.

"BULLSHIT! How do you not know by now if you like me or not?! You're telling me the movie theatre incident was just a one time thing?"

El remembers how hard he was.

Mike shakes his head and shrugs his shoulders.

"That didn't happen because of you, Jane! It happened because of the movie. I'm a sick fuck! You just happened to be in the right place at the right time!" Mike shouts.

"Oh yeah, so that's why you whispered let's get outta here in my ear and proceeded to make out with me. Not only that, you screamed at me to take my bra off! You're telling me that was all the movie's doing?! YOU LIKE ME! ADMIT IT ALREADY!"

Mike is speechless. She's probably been holding all of this in for a couple of weeks.

"Maybe there is some part of me that likes you. I hope there is. But the act of sex isn't that interesting to me. I can't explain it. It's just really hard for me to get it up…."

El should be weirded out right now, but instead she's having a hard time processing that.

"So how do you masturbate?!" El asks, immediately regretting it.

Mike is so baffled by her question.

"How do you know I masturbate?!"

Now El is the one who's being asked questions. El knows she deserves it after blurting out something so stupid from her mouth.

"I uhhhh……….. I just guessed…."

"Oh……."

The awkward silence is killing El.

"The situation has to be perfect. I lie in bed and get in a perfect state of mind. It's really hard but it……. It releases some of the tension I build up throughout the day…"

Phew, El is in the clear!

She knows he masturbates. In fact, she knows too much about it.

El knows he does it every night at 9:30. She's been watching him every night ever since she found out about his pattern. It's a good way to end the day for her, but she feels so fucking ashamed about it at the same time. She's never actually masturbated to him doing it but she's thought about it a couple times.

"So you're saying….."

"I'm saying it's gonna take more than you to get me in the mood!" Mike says.

El knows this isn't true. She has powers! She can easily make that thing rise up like nothing if she wanted to. She can't……. It's so wrong and unnatural, but then again, it's not like he would know…

Eleven is having a tough time with her options.

Eleven grabs his hand and smiles at him.

"So you admit… there's some part inside of you that likes me?" El asks, not breaking eye contact.

Mike is so confused. He's used to feeling like that around her.

Mike grabs her other hand and moves in closer.

"Yes. There's something inside of me that can't seem to resist you for some reason. I wanna be with you."

Mike gives her a subtle smile.

He looks around to see that the parking lot is completely empty.

"Shit! We gotta go," Mike says, quickly starting the car.

El realizes it too.

"Shit, you're right."

They head to El's house.

Mike pulls up to her house and waits for her to get out. She doesn't want to get out quite yet. She has one more thing to ask him.

El looks at him with this awkward facial expression.

"You wanna hang out tomorrow?" El asks, sounding embarrassed.

"Tomorrows Saturday, right?"

El chuckles.

"Yeah, duh."

Mike has plans…

"Can't…"

"Why not?"

"I'm gonna be busy. Family stuff."

El isn't buying it, then again, she's always skeptical.

El sighs.

"Come on! We can walk around the town at night. I'll bring my friends to make it less awkward if you want!"

Mike shakes his head no.

"I can't. We can do it another time."

El's so annoyed by his rejection, even if he is telling the truth.

"Fine! Please, call me Saturday night, alright? We really need to communicate more if we're gonna make this work..."

El grabs his hand again.

Mike nods his head and smiles awkwardly.

El gets out of the car and watches Mike drive away.

El knows something isn't right, but she needs to put some trust into him if she expects this relationship to work.

--

1984

"Michael! Get out and go inside!" Ted shouted in the car by the school gym, ready to drop off Mike.

"I don't wanna! It's so awkward and I don't even have feelings for her," Mike replied from the passenger seat.

Mike looked down in shame.

"This is how you fit in! No one's gonna see the monster inside of you, Son. Just get out and pretend to have a good time with her."

Even though Mike is nicely dressed, he feels like a complete monster...

Mike sighed and slowly got out of the car.

Ted drove off immediately, leaving Mike to stare at the gym. What a nightmare.

As Mike walked inside, he heard the loud music blaring. He walked through the gym until he found Rebecca sitting at a table.

"Hey," Mike said.

He took a seat in a chair beside her.

"Took ya long enough," Rebecca replied, then chuckled.

Mike didn't respond.

"So……. You wanna dance?" Rebecca asked, standing up.

Mike shook his head no.

"Oh, come on! Let's dance!"

Rebecca tried to grab his hand, however Mike completely rejected her attempt.

"Seriously? What's wrong with you?!" Rebecca asked.

Mike looked up at her with that mean stare.

"I'm not in the mood."

"It's one thing to be not in the mood, it's another to be a complete dick!" Rebecca shouted.

Mike stood up and got close to her.

"I don't even fucking like you, you stupid whore!" Mike said, gritting his teeth.

Rebecca is stunned by Mike's sudden rage.

"Don't ever talk to me again!" Rebecca said, feeling very upset.

She decided to walk away.

Mike sat back down in his chair and stared at all the happy faces. He couldn't stand it.

On the other side of the gym, El was sitting at a table with Dustin. Even in her dress, she still felt empty inside. She watched as Will danced with a random girl who called him Zombie Boy. She also couldn't help but have her eyes on Lucas and Max. She wished she could find a boy like Lucas, but she's sitting with Dustin at the table…

"These dances suck. I asked a bunch of girls to dance with me, and they all said no!" Dustin shouted.

"I'm sorry, Dustin…"

"It's not your fault, El."

El gets this awkward feeling inside of her.

"If you want, you can… dance with me…?" El asked.

Dustin gets a look of disgust.

"EW! I mean, not ew, that sounded bad. I mean, it would be awkward with you, El. You're my friend."

"So friends can't dance together?" El wondered.

"They can, but it's just really awkward and meant for someone more special…"

"Oh……"

El understood him. She had been longing for that special someone ever since she saw how Lucas and Max treated each other a month ago.

Dustin coughed at how awkward the silence was.

"Don't worry…….. You'll find someone, El. You're not a loser like me."

"You're not a loser," El replied.

"Not to be mean, but you don't know how school reputations work. Everybody thinks I'm ugly and weird," Dustin said, sounding sad.

El knew the feeling of self hatred too well.

"That's not true! You're funny and cool and smart! You're gonna find a girl one day, Dustin, and she's going to be lucky to have you!"

Dustin blushed, but then he realized something.

"Damn. I think that's the longest I've heard you talk without stopping."

Eleven and Dustin both laughed out loud and enjoyed the rest of the night.