Chapter 7: Five Friends Discussing Templars and Agents

The next day involved nothing productive. Despite exhaustion, both mine and theirs, we curled up in the library, talking late into the night. I had only been away for a month but it seemed like there was so much to catch up on. Even though Bethany had sent letters often and she had, for the most part, kept me up to date, nothing was like hearing their voices retell even the same stories. They tried not to regale any stories about Sebastian though, and I truly did appreciate their efforts.

They told me things like fights between Aveline and Donnic, Merrill mistakenly thinking that sending pot-plants full of weeds was acceptable, Varric's awful jokes scandalizing the noble class or even random silly things between each other. I told them about Emile de Launcet and Isabela had commented, "This is what lack of sex does to a person! That's horrible!" whilst Anders had commented that, "The Ferelden Circle is much more fun. Everyone was kissing everyone."

Then the mood turned serious.

Anders and I shared a look and I confessed, "Anders hid the truth from all of you. He burned one of the letters that I had sent. I didn't know whether the mage problem was fine or not. I've been away for a month but it took a few days to get to Kirkwall and in the following three weeks, I hadn't stepped out of the estate." Everyone became quiet when they listened; they shifted and looked at each other or me with sympathetic eyes. I told them, "Anders wrote a letter threatening to drag me home if I didn't shape up. So, I went out and found out about that mess with the mages. I've only been out for maybe three days. And now, you're here."

After all this time, 'home' was still Starkhaven. The estate was not 'home' at all. Fenris had muttered with dissatisfaction, "You are too thin."

I shrugged, "I barely ate. I couldn't. Now that there's drama in Kirkwall, I've finally found things to do but when I'm home… there's nothing. I wasn't me anymore. I was this pathetic lump, sitting around home."

Bethany's head found my lap and I slowly stroked her hair as she sighed in comfort. She whispered, "We've missed you. Nothing seemed worth doing without you around."

I asked, "Speaking of all of you being here, how long can you stay?"

Isabela countered, "How long do you need us for? We've been given about three weeks off."

Still, no one mentioned his name and I asked, "What excuse did you give?"

Anders supplied, "We just asked for a few weeks off. Sebastian," it was the first time that he was mentioned and Fenris had glared so hard at Anders that I was surprised his eyes didn't pop out, "didn't really ask many questions. We caught him when he was distracted so he didn't have the opportunity."

Isabela continued, "When we got your letter, all of us sat down and discussed it. You needed us. You can't deal with all this on your own. The Templar Order will do fine without Fenris for a while. The Circle still has Merrill and the mages and Orsino. Only Aveline couldn't take time off because being a Guard-Captain is constant work. Varric could have come but he wanted to look after Merrill and we didn't want to arouse too much suspicion. Two couples going on a holiday seemed better."

I hesitated for a moment and then asked, "Is he-" and then broke off. Everyone looked at each other, awkward and tense. No one seemed brave enough to answer the question. In the end, Bethany had worded with care, "Evelyn… nothing seemed worth doing without you around. He's healthy, physically but he's lost without you."

I closed my eyes, squeezing them tight but Bethany kept talking, each of her words was like knives into my heart, "There's a small gallery in the castle and there's a portrait of each of us. There's one of you and after every assembly, he's always there, staring up into your face. Some days, he doesn't talk and he always looks so heartbroken. And now that he's an eligible bachelor again, there are many girls that vie for his attention but he says that none of them are you and until you're with him, he'll never marry."

I whispered, "Does he know I'm in Kirkwall?"

Everyone shook their heads. Anders told me, "We've insisted you are in Orlais. He doesn't believe us. He told us that their accent would drive you insane and that the only thing you have in common with Orlesians is 'that bloody obsession with clothes'," his fingers up in the air doing air quotations, "He hired people to look for you in Kirkwall, Ferelden and Orlais. We had to find the letter for Kirkwall and destroy it."

I told them, "He can't know. Starkhaven won't be torn apart because of me. We've worked too hard. If he finds out-"

Anders interrupted, "Sebastian said that the moment he finds you, he'll commit kidnapping and tie you to his bed for the rest of your life," he lifted my left hand and looked at it but did not comment.

I tried to change my tone to talk about Meredith, "I should probably tell you what I'm planning, right?"

Fenris had said in a playfully snide tone, "Good idea. I think I've had children in the time I've been here."

Children. Fenris' comment connected a thought in my head. I had been in Kirkwall for a month yet… As the colour drained out of my face, I realized I had not yet endured my monthly flux. I thought about how foolish I had been. Unlike Isabela, I had not been drinking herbal remedies to prevent pregnancy. What if –

Bethany shook me with care, "Sister?"

I tried to smile to brush her off, "Nothing, sweetheart. Just caught a chill for a moment," I returned to think about other matters, "Right. Meredith. I told you about The Divine sending an agent to Kirkwall, right? Well, I met with her. She was convinced that Kirkwall's problems stemmed from an outside group called The Resolutionists. I told her that the Templars were part of the problem and that there are more crimes in Kirkwall than just mage-related ones. She wasn't particularly convinced but I threw in her face that I was part of Starkhaven's counsel and the Hero of Ferelden's friend. Elissa sent me a note that the agent, her name is Leliana by the way, wrote to her about me. I'm fairly certain that it is a simply a matter of time before Leliana gets back to me. I'm hoping that The Divine will listen to reason and understand that Kirkwall needs more than a Templar who goes nuts about blood mages."

Anders shook his head, "That doesn't get rid of Meredith. Even if there was a Viscount, Meredith would walk all over him the way she walked all over the last one."

I countered, "We're not just going to get a Viscount. We're going to tip Meredith out of her high horse. I've had a few ideas already, one of which includes Ser Alrik's letter." I turned stern eyes upon them, "Tell me you've brought it."

He smiled and nodded, producing the pieces of parchment from his pocket. I took them and put them on the table before telling them, "See, the catch is The Divine loves Starkhaven. She thinks that every city should follow Starkhaven's footsteps. I doubt she knows anything about the policies but what she is aware of is the fact that whatever is happening, it works. Leliana said as much. So, let's compare Kirkwall and Starkhaven. Starkhaven gives its mages both freedom and responsibility. Kirkwall abuses and restricts causing mages to rebel."

Fenris shook his head, his arms crossing over his chest, "That does nothing for our cause. Meredith rejected The Tranquil solution."

Isabela nudged him and sniped, "Let the girl talk!"

I smiled and said, "I'll get right down to the point then. With enough people, I'm hoping that we'll have the evidence to bring Meredith down. The first person is Elsa, Meredith's Tranquil assistant. She told me that Meredith likes to assume that all apostates use blood magic and that she likes to 'err on the side of caution'. So what, mages aren't people now? They don't deserve the same processes of law that normal people do?"

I gave a moment for things to process before telling them, "Part two. Elthina. She was present when Meredith told me that the Templars played a part in burning the Gallows. What was the public told? They were told that it was the work of blood mages. Not completely true. How can Kirkwall function when its citizens are kept in a state of fear?"

Anders beat me to the chase, "And part three, you want to look for Ella. You're hoping that Ella can tell The Divine about Alrik's behaviour and Tranquilising mages without permission from Meredith and The Divine and make Meredith seem incompetent because she never did anything about it."

Isabela had cooed, "Oh, that is clever."

Fenris nodded in agreement and Bethany added, "Not to mention, everyone is starving. Meredith can't be kept in charge if the entire city is crumbling."

I leaned back, "Exactly," and then sighed, "I just hope Ella is alright. If we can't find her in Viscount's Keep… well, that's bad news. If all goes well though, things might not even take three weeks. You can make it back to Starkhaven in time to minimise Sebastian's suspicion."

"Wait," said Isabela, "You're not coming with us?"

I shook my head, "Of course not."

She gave me an incredulous look, "You do realize that he'll find out where you are very soon. You're the Champion of Kirkwall, you can't fart without people knowing who wipes your ass! You can't do something as major as screw Meredith over without him finding out eventually. You can't implement the same policies as Starkhaven and expect him not to find out. You'd be Viscountess, for goodness sake!"

I hadn't actually thought of that. Though I knew Kirkwall needed a Viscount, it had never even crossed my mind that I should step up into that role. I must have had a blank look on my face because Anders commented, "I don't think she thought of that."

It took a moment but when I recovered, I said, "Well, I don't need to be Viscountess. I could just fight for what's right and leave before Sebastian gets here."

The four shot me looks of pity, I felt offended. I had cried out, "What?" The four of them exchanged looks before Isabela supplied, "Look. You're not doing Kirkwall any favours if you're going to leave the second you screw Meredith over. Someone will just take over who could be just like her. You'd need to stay to implement whatever is required to prevent this from happening again. You would have to be Viscountess for a while, at the very least. Then there's Sebastian. Are you really going to run from love for the rest of your life?"

I snorted in an unladylike fashion, "That's rich coming from you."

She shrugged, "Hey, I'm all for it. I thought I could do it and I did do that for a very long time. But you're not me. You are the marrying type. You are the 'world's greatest love' type. You're going to make yourself miserable."

I threw my arms up in the air, frustrated by what she was saying, "So what are you suggesting? Be Viscountess and go back to Starkhaven?"

Fenris told me, "An alliance between Starkhaven and Kirkwall would make both nations strong. Not to mention, the two are right next to each other. You could live in Starkhaven and rule Kirkwall. All the paperwork could be sent to Starkhaven instead of the Viscount's Keep here. When you have children, one could rule Starkhaven and the other could rule Kirkwall."

"No!" I stood up, pacing in front of them like some caged animal, "No! I am not doing that!"

There were incredulous tones all around, "Why?"

I stared at them like they were insane. "How could I face him?" I had cried out, almost in tears, "I ran from him. I made love to him and left him there. He was sleeping when I left. How could I go back and pretend nothing happened? Maker!"

Anders had comforted, "We're not saying you pretend you never left. We're saying that its worth considering, that's all."

I just nodded to brush him off. He was insane. The nobles would never accept me as Princess. It was like they had just forgotten the whole point of my leaving! This wasn't about whether I was Viscountess or whether I could go back to Starkhaven. This was about the fact that the nobles didn't want a mage as royalty!

It was night when the conversations began to stem. Bethany yawned. Isabela yawned. Then everyone seemed to be constantly yawning. I told them, "In the morning, we'll need to look for Ella. We'll go to Viscount's Keep. We need to talk to Cullen. And we need to find Evelina."

They were so tired, they didn't even care who Evelina was. I led everyone to rooms. Fenris and Isabela actually shared rooms, to my surprise. I would have thought both would "need space from one another". Bethany went into her old room and flopped into bed without ceremony. Anders and I shared a chuckle at the doorway.

Thinking everyone was asleep, Anders took my hand and led me to my own room. He whispered, "I want some time alone with you." I was hard pressed to refuse. Anders… was a man who I would forever have a soft spot for. He wasn't Sebastian and I was by no means in love with him but we had once shared a spark and that spark, a special flare of life and laughter, could never be washed away or forgotten. Though everyone in our group was family and Fenris was my best friend out of all of them, someone who would never doubt me or my judgments despite my mage status, Anders was the one I could never hide anything from.

I remembered my previous panic. I said, "There's something I need your help with."

"Does it have something to do with you turning the colour of bad milk before?"

I curled in bed with Widge at my feet. Anders lay beside me, throwing an arm over my waist. I asked him, embarrassed to the core, "Can you tell if I'm pregnant?" At his stunned look, I rambled on, "I just… I never took those herbs that Isabela does. I can't tell. And Sebastian and I… you know. And my monthly flux. It hasn't come. So… yes."

Anders had chuckled and told me, "Relax. I'll ask Justice to check for you."

Justice took over his body, Anders eyes became pools of bright, blue swirls as bright as the sky. An aura of cracking, blue lines appeared all around him and his hands rested upon my lower belly. Bubbles of dark purple appeared around my body and then it popped, so abrupt and sudden that I nearly jumped.

When Anders returned, he shook his head. I wasn't sure whether I was elated or disappointed. At my expression, Anders laid a gentle kiss on my cheek. He whispered, "You still wear his ring. You still love him. He still loves you. There is a life for you in Starkhaven. You have but to reach out and take it," after that, I know he meant to leave but he teetered at my door and asked, "Do you want me to stay?"

I had shot him a bittersweet smile, "What about Bethany?"

Bethany had been outside my door. The door creaked upon as she had replied with a sweet smile, "Bethany can stay, too."

I shot straight out of bed, trying to explain that nothing had happened between me and Anders but she shook her head and lay down with me, crooking her fingers to Anders as an invitation. He joined us, lying down on my other side. My sister, so sweet, so wonderful had stroked my hair and kissed my forehead, whispering, "Rest sister, we're here for you."

Sleep came easy for the first time in a month. The three of us cuddled in the bed and we stayed that way till Isabela and Fenris found us in the morning.


A/N: Every disaster is never a disaster when family are around. I'm very happy for Hawke right now. Please R&R!

Love, Ann