Welcome back everyone. Crazy Snake Man wasn't actually the Ninja he's just crazy. If you do the math you know he couldn't have been the Ninja. Enjoy and review.
Crazy Snake Man
Ken walked up to the door. This was the home of Crazy Snake Man. It really needed to be painted, repaired… this place needed a lot of work!
He pressed the doorbell. It made the sound of a rattling rattlesnake rattle. This guy was really obsessed with snakes. A man in his mid-thirties with an evil-looking goatee that made him look like the Devil and a Flock of Seagulls haircut answered the door… there was a snake around his neck. As for his skin color… he could have been any ethnicity!
"Hillo?" Ken raised an eyebrow. What did Crazy Snake Man just say? "How may I help you?"
"C-c-can I ask you some questions?" Ken's eyes were on the snake. That was King Cobra! Crazy Snake Man had a king Cobra around his neck!
"Yesssss." Crazy Snake Man stood out of then way and Ken walked in. Just not was there furniture that had a snake motif, there were various other things with snake motifs but there were snakes all over the place. This was not a nice place. "Do not worry about my babiessss, they lissssten to me." Crazy Snake Man made some sounds and the snakes all slithered away from him and Ken. He then led Ken to the living room. Ken took a seat in a sinister looking cobra armchair while Crazy Snake Man took a seat… in the coils of a rock python. Ken's stared with wide eyes. "What do you want to asssk me?"
"About the Ninja… there isn't one… right?"
"Oh, there isss! I wasss the Ninja from 1991 to 1994! I wasss even ssstanked once as the Ninja… on my lassst day of courssse." Crazy Snake Man laughed. "I wasss turned into a sssnake monssster." Ken stared in disbelief. Either Crazy Snake Man was so crazy he had dreamed the whole thing up or it actually happened and when he got turned back into a person he then started his snake obsession. Crazy Snake Man let out a sad sniff. "I missssss that glorioussss feeling!"
"Uh huh, and the robots?"
"Ah, like the Terminator! Not like the robotsss they have now." Crazy Snake Man then scratched his ear. "Actually, I don't recall any robotsss appearing until '88."
Ken stared at the python. There was no doubt about it. Crazy Snake Man was crazy.
"Uh, okay. Crazy Snake Man-"
"I have a name!"
"Well what is your name?"
"I can't remember…" Crazy Snake Man started to stroke the head of the python. "What isss my name?"
Ken stood up and started to leave. "Uh, okay, I'll just-" Crazy Snake Man held up a hand and another python quickly wrapped itself around Ken's body. "May I please leave?"
"No… I will hold you prisssoner ssso I can once again go out into public with my babiesss!" There was something about Crazy Snake Man's eyes. Ken took a close look. Crazy Snake Man was wearing contact lenses that looked like snake eyes! This guy was way too obsessed with snakes. "That or you can join my sssnake god cult!"
He was definitely not involved in the conspiracy.
Ken started to sweat. He wasn't much of a cult person and the thought of being held prisoner by this maniacal mad man. If he said yes, Ken would end up becoming a snake worshipper. If he said no, Ken would end up eating whatever Crazy Snake Man ate.
Then the doorbell… rattled! Ken stopped sweating a bit as Crazy Snake Man walked to the door. Ken looked over at a cobra on a bookshelf. It was moving its head as if it was trying to hypnotize him.
"I could get you some juicy mice from the pet store if you get your big brother off of me." Ken shook his head. He couldn't believe he was doing this. He was bribing a snake! How did he sink this low?
Then Heidi and Howard walked in with bags of groceries. They must have been the kids chosen to bring Crazy Snake Man his weekly groceries. Crazy Snake Man just couldn't bring his snakes out of the house, he was forbidden from leaving his house!
All three froze for a second. Howard then looked at the python.
"So how's that feel?"
"Well, Pomeroy Watson, I can't reach an itch. Does that tell you anything?" Ken then looked at Heidi. "Heidi, sweet Heidi, beautiful Heidi… HELP ME!"
Heidi put her bag down and took out her cellphone. Then all of the rattlesnakes in the room started to shake their rattles. She put it away.
They were trapped!
