Chapter Seven

When they arrived at Jack's house Ianto seemed more relax. He had been scared of what people would think about them going home together but no one had said anything. Jack offered to make Ianto something to eat and when Ianto said no he made him a sandwich anyway, saying that eating a little more wouldn't hurt. Ianto had just rolled his eyes but ate the sandwich anyway, not wanting to be rude. When they finished eating, Jack led Ianto to the living room and Ianto sat on the arm chair away from Jack who was on the settee.

"How long have you been cutting for, Yan?" Jack asked gently.

Ianto frowned at the new nick name; he had never really had one before. It felt weird, it sounded nice coming out of Jack's lips but he didn't know if he liked it or not. "Since I was thirteen."

"Three years?" Jack asked shocked.

"Yeah." Ianto mumbled. It had been three years since his father had started to beat him.

"Why did you start?" Ianto stayed silent. He didn't want to tell Jack that his father thought him worthless and pathetic. He didn't want Jack to know how screwed up his family was. "Ianto..."

"That's when it started." Ianto eventually muttered. He didn't know why he was opening up to Jack. He didn't really want to, he preferred it when no one cared because then no one found out.

"The bullying?" Jack asked. He wanted to move over to the other side of the room to hold Ianto in to his arms and protect him from the world.

"Yes." Because that's what it was with his dad wasn't it? It was bullying.

"I know you were upset with me for giving them detention, Yan... but... I'm not going to let them hurt you again, you believe me right?"

"Yes. I believe you." Ianto said quietly.

"I want you to stop." Jack says and he knows that it is easier said than done but he had to say it. "I don't want you to hurt yourself like that, ever again."

"I can't stop." Ianto says and stares at his hands, his fingers picking at each other.

"Why?"

"Because it's easier to do this then to think about why I'm doing it." Ianto answers truthfully and he knows that Jack doesn't understand but that isn't his problem.

"But it isn't healthy, Ianto. What happens if you press to hard one day and you hit a vein?"

"Then I die." Ianto says it simply, so matter of factly that tells Jack that this isn't the first time he has thought about this.

"Do you want to?" Jack asks after clearing the lump in his throat.

"Sometimes." Ianto thinks to when his father is kicking and hitting him, he wants to die then. When he goes to school and the bullies take over, he wants to die too. But quiet moments like this, when he is with Jack, or when he is on his own reading or even studying and he thinks that maybe, just maybe he can get past this. "Sometimes I don't."

"I don't want you to die," Jack whispers.

"You don't know me." Ianto says and for the first time since they started talking, he looks Jack in the eye.

"No. You're right. I don't know you." Jack says gently. "But I want to get to know you."

"Why?" Ianto asked.

"Because I care about you." Jack smiles softly. Ianto doesn't know what to say, but he gets up and walks over to Jack and hugs him tight.

"Thank you." He whispers and as Ianto hugs him, Jack can feel how broken this boy is, and he doesn't want to let go of him, ever.