It has been two weeks since I went for hot chocolate with Emma and Henry. For some reason we have both been acting professional with each other. The first week was strange, it was as if the Sunday night hadn't happened, which was kind of OK with me as the guilt of being attracted to someone other than my husband was eating me alive. I needed to focus on work again and also my marriage.

Our eyes still connected every now and then, I sometimes saw a smile grace them beautiful lips, I knew I was too deep into my attraction but I really couldn't take it further. It scared me and intrigued me at the same time. Therefore I knew I had to somehow end this fascination I had with Emma.

So by the end of the second week I thought I was starting to get somewhere with my marriage, I worked hard for 10 days to get Emma out of my mind, as best as I could anyway, in the end I knew I needed to focus on Robin, I just needed to get on with my life, no matter how much it was tearing me apart on the inside. Myself and Robin has arranged to go out on a date. I can't remember the last time we went out but I was surprisingly looking forward to it.

As I was leaving the office on the Friday to get ready for my date, I had a pile of folders I needed Emma to file away, but as I approached her desk I saw Walsh from IT stood next to Emma's desk, the smile that was gracing her face turned my stomach

"So are we still on for tonight?" I heard Walsh ask

"Of course, I have a babysitter so I'm free for the first time in forever" Emma responded. My heart sank. She is going on a date?

"OK I'll pick you up at 7, see you soon Emma" Walsh walked towards the elevator and left myself and Emma alone in the office, I was trying to look busy by putting the folders away myself until I felt a hand on my shoulder making my jump and dropping them all on the floor

"Christ" I snapped

"Sorry Regina, but isn't that my job" she spoke back

"It's fine Miss Swan, I can do this myself I don't need your help" I snapped

"OK" she paused "have I done something wrong?" She asked so quietly, my heart sank for her, stay strong Regina, don't back down I kept telling myself

"No, why on earth would you ask?" I refused to look at her and carry on trying to get these folders away

"Oh I don't know, these past few weeks you have been avoiding me maybe?" She sounded pissed

"No Miss Swan, I've just been busy" I sighed dropping my shoulders slightly. I was being mean and I knew it

"Ok, well as long as everything is ok" she started to walk away gathering her coat and bag ready to leave

"I thought you weren't seeing anyone?" Completely mentally slapping myself for blurting out that question

"I'm not" she quickly responded

"Oh, right" silence "just I heard you making arrangements with Walsh"

I looked at her in the eyes and saw her smirk slightly "yes we are going out tonight"

Stupid stupid stupid Regina. Still mentally slapping myself "well have a good evening" I said a little too high pitched and rushed back to my office shutting the door behind me

I sat on my sofa with my head in my hands cursing myself for showing my jealously. What juvenile behaviour. I shook my head and abruptly stood up angry with myself .

"Regina" I jumped out of my skin as I didn't even hear her come in and fell back on the sofa

"Sorry sorry I didn't mean to scare you again" she apologised

"For god sake Miss Swan, can you just please leave" I snapped back at her as I stood up, I stared at her as coldly as possible but I could only see her frown, she then took a few brave steps towards me "please just go" I turned away from her, I didn't want to let my walls crumble and I knew they would if she kept looking at me like that.

For the third time in how ever many minutes she made me jump by placing her hand on my shoulder but this time I just stayed still

"Regina, tell me what's wrong" I shook my head "please"

"No, it's not appropriate" I walked away from her touch again only to feel her hand on my wrist stopping me

"I'm not leaving till you talk to me" she said so confident "I know something is wrong, if it's because of the other week then I'm sorry if I crossed any lines..."

"Lines?" I cut her off, I was mad "the lines are so far away they are a dot Miss Swan" she still had hold of my wrist "for god sake, I can't do this with you, I can't let myself do this, this is so wrong" I wasn't even thinking about what I was saying, my gates opened and I couldn't stop "I am married, I can't feel this way" I looked at the floor

"Feel what way?" Her voice was soft it was making me weak, dam this woman

"You know what way Emma" I sighed, I felt her hand squeeze my wrist slightly

"Tell me" she close the gap between us by taking a step forward but I refused to look at her sand took a step back

"I-I can't" I felt my eyes gloss over, what is going on with me.

She slowly lifted her other arm up and placed her finger under my chin lifting my face "look at me" she said in softest voice I've ever heard

I slowly lifted my eyes, letting them linger on her lips before finally looking into her eyes "I can't Emma, please don't make me say anything"

I saw her smile sadly at me, we stayed like this for a while just looking at each other. Tears were still threatening to fall but I somehow managed to stay strong. I saw an emotion cross her face before she spoke

"I've missed my chance haven't I?" And those words right there hit me so hard tears fell from my eyes immediately, she ran both her thumbs under my eyes wiping my tears away. I lifted my hands wrapping my fingers around her wrist, I didn't attempt to move them I just felt like I needed to hold on.

"I'm sorry" I weeped

"Shh it's ok, it my own fault I shouldn't have walked out all those years ago. You're married now, I shouldn't even be trying to push things, I'm being so selfish" I looked back in her eyes and I finally felt like we understood each other. Our feelings weren't spoken about but we knew, we really knew what this was.

"I'm so sorry Emma" she suddenly pulled me into her arms and I immediately wrapped my arms around her waist. We stayed like this for a few moments, I felt so safe in her arms, her scent was intoxicating, when I felt calm enough I moved back slightly, but as I did I felt her cheek stay graze my own, I felt her breathing hitch slightly as I felt her arms hold on to me a little tighter, I dropped my eyes so they were looking at the outline of her jaw. I lowered my head as we very slowly moved our heads but not once released our hold on each other, it wasn't until the corners of our lips were touching that I felt her breath on my skin, I relished in the way my whole body seemed to have risen a few degrees higher. I closed my eyes as I felt her lips part slightly against my upper lip, gently leaving the most delicate kiss I've ever felt.

With my eyes still closed I gasped as I felt her full lips on my own, it wasn't rough nor fast, it was softer than the first. I could only feel pure lust between us but pure anguish as we knew we couldn't take this further. She gently pulled away from me "goodnight Regina" I squeezed my eyes closed as I felt her kiss my forehead then she walked out of the office. I stood there until I heard the elevator door shut and I dropped to my knees.

I knew this was the right thing to do, I knew I couldn't cheat on Robin. I stayed in the office for another hour, pouring my heart out. It wasn't just for Emma, I cried for my self, my marriage, I cried as I couldn't understand how I ever got in this position. From the outside my life seemed perfect, I had an amazing job, some great friend, and a great marriage. But inside my mind, I wanted to scream, I wanted to run away, I was hiding behind everything in my life, hiding my true self.

But this was for the best I kept telling meself