Joe walked into the music room he stood there for a moment in silence. His brown eyes taking in the whole room, the awards on the shelves and the instruments scattered throughout the room.

His brown eyes swept by the millions of guitars, the keyboard, the tambourines, the microphone. They slowed down a little as it swept by the drum set, but they stopped on the last instrument in the room.

He walked over and sank down slowly at the white baby grand piano. His fingers tinkled over the keys, lightly pressing the keys.

Tears overflowed his brown eyes and ran down his face. He had so many memories at this piano. Some of his favorites were made in this room at this very piano.

The piano was his brothers' Nick. Well not officially. But Nick was so anal about the piano being in perfect condition at all times, it became Nicks.

His fingers slowly tapped the keys out in the tune of 'Can't Have You.'

Fans all over the world thought the song was written for Stella, oh how they were wrong. Joe wrote the song himself but it wasn't about some girl.

It was written about the love of his life.

One of his favorite memories was when his love of his life found out about this song.

Joe shook his head, pulling himself from his memories.

His caramel brown eyes looked up at the piano tears falling.

Less than a week ago Joe proposed to Nick on top of this very piano.

Less than a week ago Joe made love to Nick on top of this very piano.

Less than a week ago Joe was as happy as he could ever be.

Then it was ripped away from him.

It was beyond cruel. Like if the fact that they were brothers they couldn't be happy.

Waking up to Nick in his arms on top of the piano after making love was the best thing.

He had spent most the week in this room. Never leaving, never eating.

He didn't leave to see his parents when they came back from Texas. He didn't leave when his father asked him. When his mom begged him to leave.

The only person he acknowledged was Kevin and sometimes Frankie.

He didn't eat, and rarely slept. Even when he did sleep, his dreams were plagued of Nick. Sure most of them were happy, but they always caused Joe to wake up crying.

Sighing he let his head fall onto the keys, a harsh bang echoing through the room.

Nick was everything to him, he was the reason Joe got up in the morning.

The only reason he got up now was to sit in the music room. Even if he had fallen asleep in here, he would somehow end up in his room in the morning. Joe had a feeling it was Kevin moving him.

The only reason he lasted this long was Kevin. If it wasn't for Kevin he didn't know where he would be.

His brown eyes lifted off the keys tracing over the piano's lines. Something red was sticking out from underneath the piano lid.

Joe's dark tan hand reached out and released the mysterious red object from under the piano cover.

He caressed the red rose petal, as his other hand went to his neck. He slowly pulled out the chain that hung around his neck. Nick's dog tag along with his purity and engagement rings hung on the chain.

Joe slowly climbed on top of the piano, lying in the exact spot where his brother said his last word.

"I don't know how much longer I can do this Nicky…" Joe whispered into the room.

Joe closed his eyes as memories swept over him, tears leaked from his eyes, running down his cheeks.

As the last memory ended which was Nick's face as he hit his orgasm the night he died, Joe put his hand in his pocket pulling out a silver rectangle.

He placed the razor at his wrist before pulling it across. His blood flowed freely from his wrist and down onto the white piano.

He placed the razor at his other wrist the metal blade against his flesh.

"Joe?" Kevin's voice rounded into the music room.

Joe's brown eyes looked back down at his wrist where the blade was resting.

"Please Joe…don't." Kevin whispered as his hazel eyes rested on Joe.

"Sorry…" Joe whispered.