((If you're a Chavez more than Molly fan I'm forewarning you that this one has a lot of Molly, John and kinda Billy in the beginning, but I promise Chavez is in here! It's longer than most of my chapters, but I kept adding 'scenes'. After this one, I promise their will be a lot more Chavez.))
The next week came quicker than I thought it would. I guess I was kind of in a daze thinking about Setting Sun and my heritage. I was even able to laugh about it after a while, only to myself of course. The guys wouldn't let me off the hook and I got regular side remarks from Doc and Billy. Chavez didn't really comment too much, but he found it amusing. I hope he did.
Finally, the day I had been dreading came around too soon. It was the day John Billy and I would go into to Lincoln for New Years...something. John was still very adamant about not releasing me the information on what exactly we would be buying. I figured that it was food for a feast…that I would be made to cook. I ended up being very wrong.
"John, why are we going into a clothing store?"
"To buy clothes of course Molly."
"Yeah Molly, what kinda stupid are you?"
I glared at Billy; he laughed and went inside.
"Why do I need clothes John?"
"Molly, you've grown into an extravagant young woman and all young women need at least one dress."
"Dress? Why do-"
"I'm taking us all to the New Years Party tomorrow night."
I've never been to the New Years party before. The last time John took us was when I was still 16. I had been injured by Hurricane (who wasn't used to me) and I had to stay home with Chavez. He offered to take care of me. Even though 'taking care of me' was him just making sure I didn't try and ride Hurricane again. I sighed at John.
"So you're going to buy me a dress."
"Yes."
"And I have to wear it."
"Yes."
I can truly say that I love John. Every chance he gets he tries to make me into a young lady; and every time I turn him down. He has done so many great things for me; it's time I stopped being so damn stubborn and humor him at least. Even if it is just for one night.
"Alright."
"What?"
"I'll
wear it, but it better not be uncomfortable."
He beamed at me.
"Molly, you amaze me."
"Yadda yadda yadda. Let just go in a get this over with."
He put his hand on my shoulder and we walked into the store. The first thing I noticed was Billy chatting up the blonde haired clerk. She was putty in his hands. Feeble minds. As we entered she saw me and a big smile appeared on her face. I was definitely scared. She ran over and took me in her hands, screaming with glee.
"So this is the young woman! John, you do her no justice she is at least ten times more beautiful than you told me." I wanted to slap her. I settled for an angry grunt.
"Well, Miss Marigold I'll leave her with you. I need to settle some things with Billy and his clothes as well."
Marigold? Are you kidding me? I'm not calling her that. I couldn't believe that John was leaving me with this woman. She was a bundle of happy, perky energy. And I was a load of bitterly sarcastic energy. This would not go well.
"How on earth can you live like this!?" She was referring to my clothes.
"These are men's clothes, certainly not fit for a princess."
Oh my God. I'm going to die. God, please just take me now. Miss Marigold dragged me into the back of her shop and began looking me over.
"The first thing we need to do is find out your colors! Ah, you're eyes are a strange shade and it's too bad you're hair is so dark…You would make a wonderful blond." She would make a wonderful corpse.
"I think a shade of emerald is best for you my dear. It will clash wonderfully with your black hair and your eyes. I am very surprised at your skin though."
She held up my arm like it was an antique.
"Why?"
"It looks like you've been living with savages you're entire life…..so it surprises me that your skin would be so fair and pale."
"It's about the only feminine thing I take care of."
"Hmm." She looked me over again.
"Go and take off those clothes and put this on." She handed me a night gown.
"What?"
"I cannot measure you in these man clothes! Now put this on."
After I had put the night gown on she made me stand on a box while she took my measurements. At least the night gown was comfortable; it felt like silk against my skin. She kept pinching me in every place I could imagine with whatever it was that she was using. Finally when she was done she said that I could leave.
"Keep the gown, it looks good on you."
"Uh, thanks."
I bolted outside like a racehorse with my new gown in my arms.
"I hope that ain't what you're wearing." Billy pointed at my gown.
"No. You look good Billy. Wasn't aware you could clean up."
He gave me a mischievous smile and a wink. I probably shouldn't have said that.
"I wouldn't mind if you wore that nice gown to the party."
He walked closer to me. This was very confusing. I think he was coming on to me. He had a twinkle in his eye and that darn crooked smile. Good thing John came out just in time to take us home.
As we rode back in the cart, I noticed that Billy had been practicing pulling out his guns over and over again in his new outfit. He had even shot at a few things. Only he knew what he was aiming at. I was curious as to why Billy had his outfit on and I didn't have one with me. 'And if I was getting it later, what would happen?' and I had a lot of other questions as well, but I really didn't care right now. I was just glad I wasn't wearing a dress.
After dinner I climbed on John's roof; Chavez followed me up there. That night we slept outside. He never said a word to me; he just sat beside me and looked at the stars. It was wonderful.
The next day came quicker than I wanted it to. About midday Miss Marigold visited us, and locked me up in my room. She spent the next three grueling hours cleaning, primping, and dressing me for the party. I was miserable. She took my shoulder length curls and wrapped them behind my head leaving all of my split ends trailing around my neck. When I asked why she wasn't pinning them up she replied,
"Molly, it looks very becoming to have curls unnaturally fall and frame your face. We will leave it."
I protested.
"But it's really annoying and I have to swipe them out of my face!"
She wouldn't budge.
Next, after I had bathed, it took her an hour to put the damn dress on me. I must say I was very pretty, even though I still believe pretty things have no place on my body or in my thoughts. It was emerald green and very simple. Well, it looked very simple, underneath was a maze of strings and corset things and ties. The corset pulled my stomach together to make me look like an hourglass. And the trail of the dress was extremely long, but at least it wasn't fluffy. I had to keep pointing out the good things about it so I wouldn't murder her. Thank God I didn't have long sleeves. They were short and hung off of my shoulders revealing a lot of my neck. That made me very uncomfortable, but in the end I was very satisfied with my appearance and attitude. I had succeeded in complaining about every aspect of the dress and how it fit me only to annoy the hell out of Miss Marigold. Now, she was as angry as I was.
"We are almost done and then I can happily leave."
"Good."
She pulled out a bottle of liquid and sprayed it on me. It smelled like sunshine and giggles. I almost vomited.
"What is that!?"
"It's all the rave now. Lavender Pearl."
"Gross!"
She scoffed and began to barge out.
"Wait!" I yelled to her.
"What?"
"Where am I supposed to put my dagger?"
Marigold stared at me with wide, open eyes and then laughed extremely loud. She left. Thank God.
I stayed in my room for another thirty minutes, to embarrassed to leave. John came in to pull me out.
"Molly, you look fine. Come out."
"I know I look fine! That's my problem!"
"Explain."
"Look John, for 5 years I have been trying to establish respect among the boys. You know that all I wan from them is the same respect that they show to one another."
"You're confusing me."
"I do not want to be thought of as a woman, John! I want to just be another Gunslinger. Not a woman who happens to have a gun."
"Oh, I see. You're afraid that because you are doing this, you will always be thought of as a little girl who trails around with a bunch of men."
"Exactly!"
"And how many times have they treated you like a little girl?"
"Well this week-"
"Molly, you are who you are. And whether or not you like it, you are a woman. Albeit a very feisty and tough woman, but they will always see you for who you are."
"Now
I'm confused."
"In some sense they will always see you as a
woman. And I think deep down you do not want to lose all of your
femininity. Molly, think about what it would be like if they truly
treated you like a man."
Many disgusting and terrifying pictures came into my head. The worst was the thought that I would not be as close to Chavez as I am now.
"Good point."
"This is just one exception to your otherwise manly nature. You cannot tell me that they do not treat you like a peer."
"Another good point." John held out his arm.
"Besides I'm sure Chavez will enjoy this more than any of them." I took it angrily.
"Yeah…" I mumbled not believing him.
We walked outside as we heard Billy laughing like a maniac on John's roof and the boys staring at him in amazement. It was the bad kind of amazement. As he cackled I closed the door behind us and walked out more to look at him. Then, something strange happened. As I watched him laughing he turned to me with that crooked smile still on his face and froze. This started a chain reaction from the others. Their heads in unison turned to what he was looking at, which was a very foreign looking woman on their property. They froze. I looked from Billy to them and smiled.
"Molly!" Doc exclaimed. I stopped him before he said something else.
"Shut-up, Doc."
"I just…I mean…wow…"
"You uh look different." Chavez said slowly. I ignored them and turned to John.
"Let's dance." He said perfectly. He was trying to get the focus off of me. I think it worked….until I saw Hurricane.
For a couple of minutes I just stared at her and I think she was staring right back at me.
"How are you gettin' on?" Charley asked.
"Gee, Charley, I hadn't figured that out yet." Idiot.
Hurricane jumped at my touch.
"You'll have to ride her side saddle."
"But I don't use a saddle. Hurricane can't stand it."
"Ride with me." Billy held out his hand. For a moment I hesitated, thinking of Chavez, but I took it. As I began to hop up Chavez rode in front of Billy blocking us. He grabbed me and effortlessly lifted me on his own horse. His face was angry of course. We rode off leaving Billy a little perplexed. Chavez took off quickly making me desperately cling to him so I wouldn't fall off. I heard Billy giggle behind us. Chavez remained firm and stiff. It was awkward. I almost wished I was riding with Doc…almost. I was holding on to Chavez. I could feel his muscular chest and abs, which made me extremely nervous.
While we rode I guess I was kind of angry because of how he had handled me. But the girlish side of me was swept away. It did feel like I was swept away. I smiled a little; this is his way of telling me he loves me. Stop it Molly. You're doing it again. Stop acting so weird; this isn't you. That's the dumbest thing you've ever said 'this is his way of telling me he loves me'; don't be absurd! Stop adding things where there is no hidden meaning. You don't fantasize or blush. Hold on to Chavez as if this were nothing. That was impossible.
I let my mind wander. Chavez looked very nice tonight. His hair was pulled back and brushed, which isn't a regular occurrence. He also didn't have a ton of clothes on. It was a simple shirt with a bandana tied around his neck. Who knows why that was there…of course he always does look wonderful. His hair even smelled good. Like a sweet oil, but not to sweet; it had just enough of a strong manliness to be sweet. I can't describe him correctly. I never can, not even to myself. He's just too perfect. Tall, dark, mysterious, brooding, handsome, muscular, strong willed, and he doesn't blabber a lot like I do. I think another reason I loved him so much was because of how hard it is to know him. Five years since his tragedy and he has still only spoken about it with me. Sometimes I get so stupid and emotional thinking about that. Thinking about how he trusts me enough to tell me his secrets. But….it makes me hate myself even more. My own stupidity and how I still get absolutely terrified of emotions...of contact. He is so stronger than I am.
"You're being unusually quiet." He turned to glance at me. We were at the back of the line. The boys were laughing at something ahead. I hadn't even realized where we were.
"Uh."
It's really hard to talk or think when you're pulled out of your own thoughts.
He laughed.
"You don't have to talk, Mariposa."
I love you so much it hurts. He laughed at me again.
