Tobias/Four
Beatrice had insisted on catching the train on her own without any assistance from me. She banged up her knees and her elbows in the process but insisted that it had been worth it.
"I could've just helped you on, you know." I mumble as we make our way through the dauntless compound to the training room.
"Yes, and you could've told me there was a net at the bottom of that hole too but that would've defeated the whole purpose."
I roll my eyes.
"No one's testing your bravery, Beatrice."
She shrugs her shoulders.
"Maybe I'm testing myself."
Zeke isn't expecting me tonight so when I hear voices in the training room, I press myself against the wall, one hand reaching out to press Beatrice against it too. I raise a finger to my lips and Beatrice nods beside me.
We hear the sound of someone sniffling and then to my surprise I hear Shauna's voice.
"Chris, it'll be okay. He can't kick you out. You're doing worlds better than Al."
"I know!" Christina responds, "…but I don't know how much more of this I can take…"
Shauna lets out a small little sigh.
"I'm sorry, Christina. I wish I knew how to make this better for you."
I stick my head around the corner of the doorway and Shauna looks up to see me. She smiles a little.
"Hey Stiff. Zeke didn't know you were coming today. He's down in the control room. Want me to get him?"
Beatrice sticks her head around mine and Shauna's smile grows.
"You brought the girlfriend!"
"Shauna!" I reprimand immediately.
She laughs for a moment.
"Sorry, sorry. You brought Beatrice! Well now, I definitely have to go and grab Zeke. Chris, this is Beatrice, Stiff's girl—" She cuts herself off with a laugh. "Stiff's friend." She lowers her head to speak to Christina in a whisper.
"Who he likes more than a friend but refuses to call his girlfriend."
I have never wanted to murder someone before but I am seriously considering ending Shauna's life right now.
Shauna and Christina both giggle as they make their way towards the door.
"You guys stay here, we'll go and grab Zeke." Shauna looks Beatrice over and grins.
"Nice outfit."
Beatrice grins.
"Is it yours?"
She nods a little.
"Thank you."
"No problem." She grins and then pulls Christina out of the doorway.
"That was Shauna." I say quietly to her.
"So, you don't want to call me your girlfriend?"
I let out a groan.
"Stop it. You know it's not like that."
She rolls her eyes.
"Fine, fine." She moves around the training room, looking at everything like it's a fascinating piece of artwork.
Moments later Zeke trickles into the training room followed by Christina and Shauna.
Beatrice is attempting to punch one of the punching bags and she looks a little ridiculous.
Shauna and Christina share a laugh.
"Yo, Stiff's girlfriend." Zeke says and I can't help but let out a groan. "You're doing it all wrong." He walks over to her and demonstrates.
She gets it right the second time she tries.
A perfect right hook.
She's tiny, so the bag doesn't really go anywhere but that doesn't change the fact that her form is perfect.
"Whoa. Look who came to play." Zeke says with a whistle.
Beatrice blushes.
"Really?"
Zeke nods.
"Yeah, you're ten times better than Shauna was."
Shauna sticks her tongue out at him.
"Shut up." She mumbles.
Zeke turns to me.
"Mind if I train her a little?"
A part of me wants to say no.
No. She cannot excel here because she needs to stay happy in abnegation with me, but the excitement in Zeke's face is something I can't ignore.
"Sure…" I say quietly. "I just wanted to hit by myself anyways." I say quietly.
I listen as Zeke instructs Beatrice on where to move her legs for kicks and how to punch to knock someone out, as I hit my own punching bag.
Evelyn's face swims in and out of my vision as I hit the bag over and over and over again.
…
It's almost sunrise when we make the trek back to abnegation.
I have been silent almost the whole way back even though I can tell Beatrice has been aching to talk about all she'd learned.
We're a block away from her house when she finally speaks to me.
"Are you…mad at me…or something?"
"What?" I say, trying to play oblivious.
"You haven't spoken to me since Zeke started training me. Was that bad? Should I not have accepted?"
I let out a long sigh.
"I don't care what you do, Beatrice."
"…but we're courting." She says in a soft voice.
"Are we?" I say in a small voice.
She blinks at me for a moment her head slowly moving from side to side.
"Of course we are! Is this about Zeke? Do you think I was flirting or something?"
I let out a snort.
"No. Even if you were it wouldn't matter. Zeke is head over heels for Shauna."
"Okay. Then why are you mad at me?" She insists.
"I'm not mad at you." I bite back.
She let out a groan.
"You just questioned if we were courting or not. You are mad at me."
"Beatrice, let it go." I say, anger lacing my tone.
"Is this about your mother?" She presses.
"No. It is not." I say through my teeth.
She grabs onto my arm, stopping my walking progress and I sigh.
"Please, talk to me. I'm sorry for whatever it is that I did. It's not worth you being mad at me. Can we be okay now?"
I look her over for a moment, still in her borrowed dauntless clothing.
I am not angry at her.
I am angry at myself.
"Beatrice, on your choosing day, I want you to pick dauntless."
She looks like all the wind has been knocked out of her at my words.
"W-what?"
I nod a little.
"It's so obvious that you belong there. I can't keep you here with me, I don't even want to be here. We should just…give up on this stupid courting. I'm sorry I ever dragged you into this."
"You're kidding, right? This is a joke?"
I shake my head slowly.
"No. it's not. I'm sorry, Beatrice."
She blows out a breath.
"How dare you…" She says softly.
"What?"
"How dare you try to tell me how to live my life!? You think you're holding me back so you're trying to be all noble but god, Tobias don't you see what's happening!?"
I shake my head slowly.
"No! Why are you so upset?"
"Because! I'm falling in love with you and you're breaking up with me!" Her cheeks are flushed a bright pink color and she's breathing hard.
"…You're falling in love with me?" I say slowly.
She nods a little.
"Isn't it obvious?"
Just like that, I know without a doubt that I am falling in love with her too and I can't turn back now.
"…I can't keep you here. It's selfish." I breathe.
She shakes her head.
"Not if it's what I want to, and it is! I want to stay in abnegation with you. We can get married and you can finally move out of your father's house and we can start a family and be happy together just like my mom and dad. We can have that. You just have to believe in me enough. I can be abnegation. I can."
"Do you hear yourself? You are sacrificing who you are to be with me…I can't….I can't let you do that!"
"Please don't do this." Her face crumples and I can tell that tears are coming. "I don't care. I don't. You are the reason that I can make it through my day. Make it through Caleb constantly condescending me and my father's ever-watchful eye and school, and everything else. Please."
"You'd do so well in dauntless."
"I don't want to be dauntless." She says firmly. "I want to be abnegation, with you."
I run my hands over my face and let out a sigh.
"Oh…Beatrice…"
"Tobias, I know it's a leap of faith. I know it seems crazy and I know that you think I'm all these things that I'm not but…I promise you. Nothing, not even dauntless can bring the color into my world that you have. Please don't take that away from me. Please."
I watch her, her flushed cheeks and golden hair framing her face.
She's so damn beautiful that it hurts.
"If I were dauntless I would kiss you right now, so hard that your lips would hurt."
I watch a breath go through her and wonder if her heart just fluttered the same way mine did.
She looks down at herself and then her eyes move over my clothing. We are both still in dauntless black.
"You look pretty dauntless to me." She says softly.
It's still dark.
No one in abnegation is awake.
I could kiss her right now and not a single person would know about it.
She reaches out and touches my black t-shirt, her hand balling into a fist as she tugs on it. I take a couple steps closer to her and lift one hand to press against her cheek.
"If I kiss you right now, there's no turning back Beatrice. You're mine."
She nods a little bit.
"I know that. I have been yours since the moment you touched my shoulder in that alleyway." She breathes.
My lips are inches away from hers.
They are shaking like two little leaves and it makes me grin.
I lick my bottom lip and then slowly lean in and press my lips to hers.
Her lips are soft and they fit mine almost perfectly.
I have never kissed anyone before, but I'm positive that this is what a perfect kiss is supposed to feel like.
I kiss her softly at first and then harder, more intense as I grip her tank top tightly.
She pushes a hand up my T-shirt and I am so surprised that I let out a gasp against her lips. Her cold fingers touch the skin on my stomach and I am on fire.
I pull my lips away from hers, but she keeps her hand where it is.
"Tris…" I breathe, shaking my head slowly.
"Tris?" She questions, one eye brow raised.
"Oh. Crap, did I say that out loud?'
She nods a little bit.
"…I call you that in my head sometimes. It fits you better, I don't know. It's a stupid nickname I guess."
She shakes her head.
"No…No I like it. Tris." She smiles.
I reach a hand out and brush my thumb across her lips.
"You just kissed me." She whispers.
I nod a little.
"Uh-huh."
"I want more." She whispers so softly that I barely hear here.
God, do I want to give her more, but I can't. Not now. Not here.
"One day." I say quietly and she pulls her hand from my stomach.
Light fills the street and we both realize the sun is only moments away from rising.
"I should go." She says softly.
I nod a little.
"You absolutely should."
She takes my hand.
"When will I see you?"
I think for a moment.
"I can come for dinner tonight."
She shakes her head hard.
"No. When do I get to really see you?"
I let out a sigh, shaking my head.
"Oh, Tris. I don't want to get you in trouble."
She squeezes my hand.
"You won't."
I brush a finger along her cheek.
"Okay. How about I take you into dauntless again tomorrow night?"
She nods a little bit.
"Okay."
I nod a little and then reach up and tug on a strand of her hair.
I am having a very hard time not touching her at this point.
"I'll come for dinner too."
She smiles.
"I'd like that."
I press a kiss to her cheek.
"I'll hold your hand under the table."
She giggles softly.
"I'd like that too."
I pull away from her and untangle our fingers.
"Please go, before your father wakes up and finds you not in your bed."
"Okay." She says quietly.
"Tobias?"
"Beatrice." I say softly.
"I just…want to say that if you need someone to love you because Marcus doesn't…or can't and because Evelyn…" She trails off not finishing.
"I just want you to know that I can do that. I can love you."
Her words make my heart squeeze uncomfortably.
"Go home, Beatrice."
She nods a little and then takes off at a half-run towards her house.
