Second update this week, wow I'm treating you guys. I do want to say this will be my only project for a while, as my English coursework is coming up, I'm an English Literature student btw. I've also noticed that while I had my three projects on the go, you were only getting one update a month. That's not fair, so I'm putting the other two on hold for a while to get further in this, and then I'll rotate the active project so that I can focus properly. I've actually been 'diagnosed' with a learning difficulty soooooo yeah, apparently I think slower than I should, so maybe that explains why writing chapters takes so long XD.
I feel like I'm going to get a LOT of hate for this chapter. Please bear in mind that I am not trying to feminise Harry because I'm uncomfortable writing slash or anything like that. Flames will be deleted.
Warnings – talk of cross-dressing and [mild] self-harm.
Chapters will probably carry warnings from now on, sensitive-ish material is going to be dealt with, including bullying, talk of domestic violence, sexual abuse, and swearing. Lime and lemon warnings will be used as appropriate.
The pain in Harry's hand had intensified with each passing detention, and dutifully he would add more markings to his arms so that he could keep his gauze pad on the half-healed words. He had already explained countless times –probably to no avail- that if he got an infection in his hand, his days as a musician were probably over. Even still, he doubted anyone actually believed him. Once his string of detentions was over, and the letters had faded, he stopped adding new plasters and bits of bandaging. It had been fairly common to see the six band members with an innumerable number of bruises, scrapes and dressings, injuries were inevitable when six boys moved rather carelessly around a floor littered with wires from the amplifiers, microphones and refrigerator. The temperature had been so high that summer that they had pooled all of their money and bought a fridge from a neighbour that happened to be getting a new one. For Harry the five days he had spent maiming himself deliberately –both in and out of detention- was an all-time low. He was waiting on a letter from Ezra, whom he had confided in. Thankfully, he had promised to write back quickly when he could. Hedwig swooped down from the rafters, and clutched in her talons was a Muggle style envelope. With shaking hands he ripped open the letter.
Harry,
It said, scrawled in Ezra's awful handwriting.
I don't know what to say about your detentions really. I'm not surprised you took the line of action that you did, and all I can say is be careful. If you damage the nerves or tendons in your hands it'll be painful, maybe even impossible to play. With that being said, I believe it is the right method for dealing with the woman, and your classmates too, I mean what the fuck do they know about being a fucking musician? Squat. I have to admit I probably would've done the same in your situation. If you need any ideas for injuries, just ask, we've had plenty since you've gone, maybe even more than when you were here. How does that even work? I do think you need to be consistent though. If you only have gauze and bandages when you have detentions it will become suspicious. To be fair, you could just slap them on your skin anyway, however I suppose if they were to come off (as plasters do, fucking unreliable shits) you'd look like a right liar. Just a few ideas for now; I accidentally sliced my finger open on the underside of the drum stool, didn't realise there was something sharp under there. Be careful if you do that one though, my finger went numb, and I had to go to hospital to have stitches. Paul also had a mishap with the wire cutters, I don't know what happened though, I was at the hospital.
Okay, I've spent enough time thinking about blood.
There is something I wanted to talk to you about, and it's a bit of a sensitive issue, so maybe you should go somewhere private? I don't presume to know where you read your mail, but if someone could read it over your shoulder, go somewhere else. Given the school's current opinion of you, this wouldn't be the kind of thing you want to feed that opinion with. I'll even continue on another piece of paper just to be certain.
I know you're planning on going home this Christmas so that we can begin working on our demo package so I have to ask; is it okay for your name and picture to be sent around? We can't send it to just one company, and who knows who'll get hold of the pack. I was planning on doing what I'm going to suggest myself, but now that I think about it, my voice is too deep and would give me away in an instant, you on the other hand, maybe you're more suited for this role? Well, let me tell you a bit about the background first. As you know, I moved to Japan when I was six, because Jasmin had begun to show signs of magic, and my dad wanted her to go to Mahoutokoro. In the end, my dad decided that it was preferable for her to go to Hogwarts. While I was living in Japan, I discovered a genre of music that to this day I love. It's called Visual Kei, which I think translates to visual art. It is a mash-up of rock and metal usually, with a heavy focus on androgyny of appearance and use of visual aesthetics (I had to use a dictionary there) such as makeup and elaborate costumes. Most, if not all of the artists are men, and I think that creates a bit of a problem. I think in some ways boys don't feel they relate to the bands as much because they're not attracted to the men, which is the point of the bands really, you're supposed to think they're appealing, and then as they get more fans they tone the look down. Well obviously straight boys are going to find twenty/thirty year old men bouncing around (and I mean bouncing around) in leather rather intimidating, so it's become a kind of custom in some bands that one member ends up with the 'girl of the band' role. Essentially, they cross dress, and they usually do it so well that everyone is fooled.
By this point you've probably guessed what I'm implying here.
Harry folded up the letter, his heart beating so many times faster than it should. The very idea that Ezra proposed was so alien that it both appalled and intrigued him. After a few minutes, the interest overpowered the disgust and he began reading once more.
I'm sorry that I just threw that at you out of the blue, but I'd really like you to consider it. Do you think anyone would guess? I doubt it, you really don't seem like the type to actually do it so that makes it the perfect disguise right?
Now, I've talked to the guys already, just in case you were wondering, and they like the idea, but at the same time, they will understand if you don't want to do it. So onto the most important opinion. Jake said –and I quote exactly- 'I would get to see Harry in a skirt and tights? Why isn't this already a thing?' He left by the way, after that and we didn't see him for a few hours. Personally, I think he likes the idea. It's not like I'm trying to bribe you with the idea of Jake being a horny spazzbucket at the thought or anything.
If you decide to do it, I've sent the beginning preparations to Jasmin, anything to do with the project from this point on will go through her, as I'll be sending you girl's clothes amongst other things.
Please don't hate me!
It was all a little bit too much to process at once, so Harry set down the letter and took up his usual position behind the drum-kit. It was quite late in the evening, and no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't concentrate on the task at hand. Frustratedly, he threw down his sticks and left the room, locking the door behind him.
He hoped he would be able to find the first year Ravenclaw in the Library, and if not, he could probably snag a passing student and ask them to get her from the common room. Mentally, he told himself it was curiosity more than anything else. He wanted to know what those 'beginning preparations' were that Ezra had mentioned.
After searching the labyrinth of bookshelves, Harry found the Ravenclaw reading a fashion catalogue. As he approached, Jasmin stood -it was almost as if she were expecting him. It was entirely possible that she had already been informed of the plan and was maybe expecting him to politely –not so politely- decline. He had led the terrified girl back up to the music room where they were now sitting and discussing the plan.
"What do you think Jasmin?" Harry asked worriedly.
Jasmin stared down at her knees and Harry grew more anxious. There was a lengthy pause in which both parties attempted to look anywhere but each other.
"I think we'd be the same size…" she began, a blush tinting her cheeks. "If you picked some clothes, and you didn't like doing it, then I could take them, and give you the money for them," she offered eventually, and Harry could detect the barest hint of hope in her voice.
Harry considered it a little more, he was interested to see how it would work, as he personally didn't believe his appearance was overly androgynous, but he supposed with the right haircut it might work.
"Why don't we look through it together, that way if it doesn't work, you'll get clothes that you don't mind wearing?" He suggested, trying to quash the awkward feeling in his gut.
"There was one dress in particular that I wanted to show you," Jasmin revealed, and flicked through the catalogue once more. She stopped on page in dresses that in Harry's opinions just looked like thigh length shirts. Privately, he believed that if he was going to actually go through with Ezra's plan, those shirt/dress things wouldn't be such a bad thing to wear. Jasmin pointed out two, that weren't too girly in Harry's opinion; one was black and hot-pink tartan and the other green camouflage style.
"How much did Ezra say to order?"
"Two dresses, two tops, one pair of jeans and one skirt," Jasmin informed him calmly.
Harry swallowed thickly, well, the two shirt style dresses he could live with, but he wasn't sure about anything else. The girl beside him seemed to sense his unease.
"How about I pick stuff, you veto it if you can't stand it?"
"Those two dresses, the camo one and the pink plaid, they're fine, you pick the other stuff, don't even show it to me, just bring it up here when Ezra sends it to you okay?" Harry asked, he knew that if he was given the choice, it would never get done, and in a weird way, Ezra was right, he doubted anyone would actually suspect him of cross-dressing, least of all Voldemort. He did briefly wonder if Voldemort even knew what cross-dressing was. Jasmin nodded, and departed, leaving Harry and his churning stomach in peace.
He stared blankly out the window for almost half an hour before coming to the conclusion that if Jake thought it was a good idea, then he would do it, just to see the older boy smile. With his resolve hardened, he picked up his school bag and locked up the music room once more.
The stuff about jrock is mainly true, I don't know when the 'girl of the band' thing came about, but I know it's a thing. Visual Kei has been a style since the 80s so I can only assume that it emerged around then. I don't know the reasons behind it, those are just guesses. If you want examples of girls of the bands, check out Hizaki from Versailles/Jupiter and Bou from An Cafe. Personally I think Bou is fucking adorable. Oh and another thing about the visual kei, sometimes the guys wear skirts and their not even considered feminine. Its just something they do. Most notably Aoi from The GazettE.
Going back to the cross-dressing thing, I am not feminising Harry, he will not be bursting into tears at the slightest thing, or reading fucking romance novels or anything like that. He will continue to shout a lot when he gets angry, and probably won't talk about feelings like most blokes do. He is doing this for the sake of his friends, nothing more. As I said earlier, flames will be deleted. Constructive criticism on the other hand, is fine.
