7
Aria
Sitting on his bed, Liam leaned his back against the wall, running a hand through his hair in frustration. He had dropped Aria back at her Hollis dorm room, and then headed back to his place. And frankly, he was damn frustrated with himself. They had been having a pretty nice time at dinner; it was a good first date, and Liam would like to think that they would have another. But, he had the perfect opportunity to kiss her, and he didn't take it.
"Here it is... Thanks for the ride back."
"Of course. I'm happy to drive you back," Liam smiled sweetly. He got out of the car and opened the door for her, like a gentleman would. "It's pretty dark outside, so... why don't I walk you back to your dorm room?"
Aria smiled. "I wouldn't mind that at all."
"Good."
Liam shut the door for her, and then locked his car. He walked by Aria's side, biting his lip. He didn't know why he suddenly couldn't think of anything good to say to her after they had been talking endlessly throughout their dinner. They walked up the stairs of the building, reaching her floor. They kept on walking until they reached her room. She stopped there, and turned around to face him with a smile on her face.
"Well, this is mine... so... thanks for walking me back."
"Yeah, yeah! No problem, of course. Any time."
Aria giggled quietly. "Um, well, I had a wonderful time tonight with you, Liam."
"So did I. You're a pleasure to be around."
"So are you..."
Liam swallowed hard. They were standing so close to each other— it was just the perfect position for him to lean in and place a kiss on her lips. It could've been perfect: slow, romantic, great timing. He stared right into her eyes, scanning for some type of sign that told him to take the chance and just kiss her. It wouldn't be out of place at all, would it? She had wanted to go on a date with him. They had been texting constantly recently. She had to like him, right? She had to want this kiss? There was no reason for him not to kiss her, and based on the look in her eyes at that moment, it seemed like she wanted him to kiss her, too.
But he didn't do it. He didn't kiss her.
"Alright. Well... good night. I'll... um, I'll call you tomorrow... or something like that."
Aria's eyes widened just a bit. She seemed surprise that he didn't kiss her, and that he backed up from her. He shot her an awkward smile before turning around and heading out of her dorm floor. She scratched her head, wondering if she had done something wrong, or if he was just too nervous to kiss her. She shrugged her shoulders, turned around, and stepped inside of her dorm room. She figured there was no use in calling him back just to figure out why he didn't kiss her.
Emily - Alison
Emily woke up the next morning with a killer headache. Groggily, she opened her eyes, clutching on to her scalp tightly, trying to relieve some of the pain. She knew how painful a hangover was, but she ended up drinking mercilessly every time anyway. This time, there was a different problem: she was waking up with her body tangled inside of a sea of white sheets that were definitely not the ones in her dorm room. This was most certainly not her dorm room bed. She was only glad to find that there was no naked girl sleeping next to her— just an empty other half of the bed. Relieved, she took a deep breath and sat up on the bed, scanning around the room. It was a hotel room— one that she had already been in before.
"You're finally awake."
Emily turned her head and saw Alison DiLaurentis standing there with a bottle of water in her hands.
"I thought you could use some water to cure that nasty hangover... you were pretty wasted last night."
Emily remained silent with her lips pressed together as Alison approached the bed and slid the bottle of water into her hands. Emily didn't remember much from last night; she knew she had gotten really drunk, but that was to be expected from her at most parties. She did remember that Alison had been flirting with Warren, and that they were getting pretty close at the party. And then, Emily's drinks kept multiplying. Before she knew it, her mind was lost with alcohol.
And although now was most certainly not the time to be thinking this way, Emily was thinking about how it was a good sign that she was there with Alison; it meant that she probably hadn't slept with Warren. And Emily wished so badly that she wasn't thinking about something so superficial, but the thought wouldn't leave her mind. The thought of Alison hooking up with him was unsettling in her mind. It was undeniably a part of the reason that she indulged so heavily in alcohol the night before. More than anything, she wanted to stop thinking about how close they were... how he was touching her... how she was flirting back... how they were kissing... and how they would probably be ripping each other's clothes off by the end of the night.
Forcing herself back into reality, Emily smiled weakly at Alison. "Thanks."
"Yeah... of course."
Emily twisted the cap off of the plastic water bottle and brought it to her lips, taking a long, refreshing sip. When she set the water bottle down on the nightstand next to the hotel bed, she felt that Alison's gaze was still on her. Emily furrowed her eyebrows. Alison was looking at her with such sympathy in her eyes... as if she pitied her. And Emily kept wondering if she had done something totally embarrassing while she was drunk. Sometimes she got a little out of hand when she had too much to drink, and the last thing she wanted was for Alison to see her like that. It was the whole reason that she had told herself that she would refrain from over drinking at Warren's party. But of course, she ended up breaking her promise to herself all because of something so silly.
"You okay?" Emily asked.
Alison laughed breathily. "I should be asking you that."
Emily scratched her head, confused. "Did I do something last night? I mean, I... I can get a little weird after drinking. So... you should probably disregard anything."
Alison blinked. "No, everything is fine."
Emily sighed. "Is this about what happened last night before I started drinking? Because... I'm sorry, Ali. I know it looked bad—"
"You didn't do anything wrong. You're having fun while you're in college. There's honestly nothing wrong with that," Alison faked a smile. "I just... last night... I realized that this really just isn't my place to be right now. I don't even know why I came here to begin with. I've got a life back in Rosewood; I've got obligations and... people I need to care for. I have classes and family and... my whole life is there right now. So, I think it would be best if I got a flight home."
"Oh," Emily nodded her head, disappointed. "I understand... and I'm sorry to hear that you're leaving."
"Me too," Alison nodded her head back. "Maybe another time..."
"Yeah," Emily stared at the floor. "But, thanks for dropping by, I guess. And thanks for taking me here instead of leaving me there to pass out," she joked bitterly.
"It was nothing," Alison shrugged her shoulders. "I was going to take you back to your dorm room, but I was already exhausted... it was already pretty late. So, I'm sorry."
"Oh, that's no problem. I mean, thanks for bringing me somewhere at all..." Emily smiled. She furrowed her eyebrows. "Where did you sleep last night?"
"The couch," Alison answered, worried. "And I already know what you're going to say about that... so I just want to let you know that it was no problem, and that you shouldn't worry about it. Hotel couches are pretty comfortable."
Emily stared at her in disbelief. She knew that Alison was just saying that to make it seem like it was no problem.
"So, you really want to leave so quickly?" Emily asked. "I mean, you just got here and all..."
"Yeah, I know, but I've got some important things I should deal with back home," she bit her lip.
"Really?" Emily raised her eyebrows. "Like what? 'Cause why'd you even come here for just one day if you have things you need to deal with at home?"
Alison's lips were pressed together. She shifted her tongue in her mouth, pondering a proper response, but she couldn't think of any excuses. She didn't want to blatantly lie to Emily and make up a horrible emergency— she would just worry the poor girl more.
Emily sighed, running a hand through her hair. "Well, I'm guessing that the silence means that you don't have anything urgent to return to in Rosewood, and that you just want to get the hell out of here as quickly as possible. I'm surprised, because most people end up falling in love with California, but... I guess it just wasn't for you. That, or you're mad that I haven't been the most welcoming towards you? Because I really am sorry, Ali. I didn't mean to come off as rude. I guess I was just annoyed that you were paying more attention to Warren than me last night."
Alison came closer to the bed and took a seat next to Emily.
"Truth is, I don't feel very welcome here. And it's not really your fault. It's not because of anything you said... I mean, you were pretty nice to me. I guess I just feel like you've got your own life here, and I don't fit in anymore. I don't know what I was thinking when I came here and thought that I could just waltz back in like I never left, and that we could recreate old memories," Alison confessed.
Stunned, Emily shook her head. "Ali— you've got it all wrong."
"Do I?" Alison raised her eyebrows. "Because you're not the same person that you were before, and either am I. I mean, come on, Em... you've apparently become the school player. I have no idea what I was even expecting when I came here. I guess I thought nothing would be different and everything would be the same. But out of all people, I should know that time changes people."
Emily swallowed hard. "I want you here, okay? I promise... and if you truly do have stuff to deal with in Rosewood, fine. But at least let me take you out today? We didn't really get the chance to hang out last night after everything happened. So, how about one day of just us hanging out? No parties, no drama..."
Alison smiled. "Just us."
Emily smiled back. "Yeah. Just us. Like old times."
Hanna
"I'll see you after work today, love," Jordan smiled sweetly. He pressed a gentle and short kiss upon Hanna's lips before walking in the other direction. Hanna glanced back one last time at Jordan before heading into her office, feeling surprisingly content with her life. She hadn't felt this content in a long time— it was as if everything was finally falling into place. She had a loving, supportive, and handsome boyfriend who she could easily see herself spending the rest of her life with, and she was finally getting her career into place and making a name for herself in the industry. The only thing that was really bothering her was this irritating "feud" she seemed to be having with Caleb Rivers. But she didn't want that to ruin her happiness. So, she tried to force herself to stop thinking about him and how he was flirting with Danielle. She just would ignore it, and wouldn't let it get to her.
But when she entered her office, it was as if the world didn't want her to be able to ignore it; the world wanted to test her patience and make her squirm. Caleb was sitting inside of her office, across the table from Alexander.
"Hey, guys..." she raised her eyebrows. "How's it going?"
"Wonderful," Alexander smiled, standing up from his seat. "I was just talking to Mister Rivers about some stuff I'd like you two to work on together. We were waiting for you so that we could inform you about our plans!"
"Plans?" Hanna questioned.
"Yes," Alexander nodded his head. "I'd like you to work with Caleb on creating the perfect website to launch your styles."
"Oh, really?" Hanna bit her lip.
"Yeah, he's got a lot of talent, although he's got a slight problem with being punctual," Alexander joked.
Caleb chuckled quietly under his breath. "That was just one time. I haven't been a repeat offender. You know that."
"I'm just messing around with you," Alexander grinned. "So, you two need to get working quickly. I'd like to have at least a rough idea by this Friday. And I could've made this a solo mission for Caleb, but I don't want your website to blindly be created. This brand is all about you, Hanna. You've got to be a part of the designing. And, you're a top-notch designer anyway, so I'm assuming that your combined efforts will create one damn bad-ass website. Don't disappoint me. I've got high hopes for you two. Are we all clear? I've got some calls that I need to make soon."
"Understood," Hanna nodded her head. "Thank you."
"Of course," Alexander said. He stepped out of Hanna's office, leaving Hanna and Caleb in there together alone.
As soon as Alexander was gone, Caleb tilted his head to the side with a smirk on his face.
"Looks like you're stuck with me, huh?" he smirked harder.
Hanna rolled her eyes. "I'm not in the mood for any of your games."
"Games? There aren't any games, Hanna," Caleb shook his head, throwing his feet up onto her office table. "You heard what the bossman said— he wants us to work together on designing the website. I don't know about you, but I'm just trying to do my job."
"Yeah? Well, so am I. So, if we're going to make this work, then we need to learn to be civil with each other," Hanna told him.
"I don't have to learn to be civil if I'm already being civil. I don't see anything uncivil about the way we're acting right now," Caleb smirked.
"Alright, fine. I'll be straight with you: we need to drop this bitter ex attitude. It's getting a little annoying. I know we're both still at least a little bit upset about the way things went down between us all those years ago, but maybe it's time to bury the hatchet and act like adults. Don't you think?" Hanna asked, tilting her head to the side. "And I know what you're going to do; you're going to try to make some witty remark about how you don't have a bitter ex attitude, but it's pretty damn clear that you do. I'll even admit that I've been like that since I found out that you're working here, too."
Caleb pressed his lips together. He didn't like being called out about this. He knew that everything that she was saying had truth to it, and he hated that.
"Whatever," he shrugged his shoulders. "Are you ready to start, or...?"
"Yeah, fine," Hanna rolled her eyes, and took a seat at the table as well. "So, where do we begin?"
Caleb shrugged his shoulders again. "I'll be working on the code for the website today, so I'll have to let you know when I've got samples of potential layouts. We probably want to make something that's personal to your designs, so I was thinking that you could maybe ask Alexander to set up some sort of mini-photoshoot or something so that we can get pictures of your looks on the website."
Hanna smiled. "A photoshoot? That's actually a great idea."
He raised his eyebrows. "What? Did you expect me to only have stupid ideas or something?"
She tilted her head to the side. "Caleb, that was supposed to be a compliment. You know I think you're so smart."
"Well, uh... thanks, then..." he scratched his head. "I'm gonna work on the code now. You should go set up the photoshoot stuff, alright?"
"Alright," Hanna nodded her head.
Emily - Alison
"So, how drunk was I last night?"
Alison tapped her fingernails against the wine glass in front of her.
"Completely wasted," she replied, laughing quietly under her breath. She brought the wine glass to her lips, taking a short sip, and then setting it back down on the dinner table in front of them. "I don't think I've ever gotten the chance to see you so drunk before. It's... an experience, to say the least."
"An experience, huh?" Emily questioned, raising her eyebrows. "What do you mean by that?"
"I don't know. It's... what I said. An experience," Alison shrugged her shoulders. "You say a lot of things, I guess. Maybe you don't mean them all, but you say them."
Emily, now even more intrigued, leaned closer across the dinner table. "What did I say, Ali? You've gotta tell me now..."
"I'm not gonna do that," she refused, shaking her head.
"And why not?" Emily demanded, although she knew she sounded extremely childish when it came out of her mouth. "I said it, didn't I? Why can't I know what I said?"
Alison was contemplating whether she should debrief Emily on her drunken ramblings. She really didn't want to do that, as it would definitely open a can of worms that Alison wasn't sure either one of the girls was actually ready for. But luckily for her, the waitress returned to their table with the check, ending that conversation... at least temporarily. Alison smiled at the waitress, taking the bill from her.
"This one's on me," Alison told her.
Emily shook her head. "No way, Ali. You're the guest. You're visiting me. I'll pay, okay? I can afford one dinner."
"Maybe you can afford it, but you shouldn't have to. You have to worry about paying hefty out-of-state tuition, and I've only got to pay in-state. And I've got plenty of money to spare after... my mom," Alison swallowed hard. "It really is fine, I promise."
"We'll split the check, then," Emily told her. "I'm not letting you pay the entire thing. You didn't leave me for dead after I got unnecessarily wasted, so... I owe you this, at least. I promised you a fun day, didn't I?"
"Okay, fine. I'll accept splitting it," she nodded her head. She looked at the number on the paper, and then pulled approximately half the cash out of her purse, setting it down. Emily got the other half out of her wallet, and set it down as well.
As they waited for the waitress to return and collect the check and the dishes, Alison smiled at Emily. She tilted her head.
"You really pulled through today, you know that?" Alison laughed. "I honestly thought that I would be flying back to Rosewood today because you didn't want me here. I was about ready to book my ticket home. But I'm really glad that you stopped me. I mean, lunch... an afternoon at the Getty Villa... a nice dinner... it's really been a wonderful day, and I can't thank you enough for that. This is exactly what I was looking for... exactly what I needed and wanted while I was dying of boredom in Rosewood. Coming here was far from a mistake."
"I'm glad you stayed, too," Emily told her. "You know... you're always welcome here, Ali. You never have to feel like you're invading my life. You're not."
"I'll take note of that," Alison smiled harder. "So... are we heading back after this? I'm pretty exhausted."
"Really, Ali? Already?" Emily questioned.
"What do you mean?" Alison laughed, shaking her head. "We've been doing stuff all day."
"It's barely into the evening yet!" Emily protested. "Come on, Ali! If I've only got you here for one day, we've gotta make the most of every moment. Besides, the night is still very young."
"Alright. Well, I'm more than fine with doing something else, I guess," Alison told her. "What did you have in mind?"
"I was thinking that we could go to the beach," Emily suggested. "I mean, you're in California, after all... It's like 300 miles to get down to Myrtle Beach from Rosewood. It's no fun to have to make a giant trip every time you want to head to the beach. Out here, we've got beaches just minutes away."
"I mean, the beach is fun and all... but didn't we just go to one yesterday?" Alison asked. "I'm not against beaches, but I'm actually thinking that the party scene isn't what I need. Today, away from all the parties, has been way more fun than yesterday."
"There's no way in hell I'm taking you to another beach party," Emily laughed, shaking her head. "We're not going to the same one. I know a better one... nobody will be there. It's really beautiful, I swear. And it's... not as crowded."
Alison bit her lip. "I'll take your word."
"Good," Emily said.
Once the waitress took the check and cleared the table, the two girls hurried out of the restaurant. The evening sky was undeniably gorgeous— a colorful mix of purple, orange, and blue. The sun was setting, and the thought of watching the sunset on a quiet beach with Alison excited Emily. Emily drove them to Westward Beach, which was a little bit longer of a drive than the one they took the previous day to Warren's beach party. While Alison was getting out of the car, Emily quickly snapped her phone out and typed up a short text to Lexi.
I'm gonna be out late. W Alison.
Normally, Emily didn't care to inform her roommate about her whereabouts, but she had previously made plans to continue the apartment search with Lexi that night. Emily just thought that she would let her know. And she was sure that Lexi would understand, anyway. She'd probably just be happy that Emily was spending her time with an old close friend, rather than getting her ass drunk at some terrible party and hooking up with some random, usually-blonde college girl.
"You coming?" Alison asked, turning around.
"Yeah. One sec," Emily nodded her head. She opened the door, and hopped out of her car. "Ready to see this place? I wasn't lying when I said that it's gorgeous."
Alison nodded her head back, following Emily down the steps of the parking lot. Alison kicked her flip flops off and held them in her hands. She found her toes buried in soft, golden grains of sand, and couldn't help but smile at it. With sparkling sands and a gorgeous sky, she had no doubt that Emily was telling her nothing but the truth about this beach. They stood there in the sand together, not walking any further. Alison was hesitant to continue, since Emily had taken an abrupt pause. The swimmer bent down, brushing her hand against the soft sand, picking some of it up in her hand. Alison was confused, but she stayed silent, waiting for Emily to say something first.
"After my dad died, I used to come here often... like, all the time," Emily explained. "It was kinda like my getaway. It's... peaceful."
"I can see why," Alison said sincerely, gazing over at Emily, who was staring at the water intently. "There's like... nobody here. Why is nobody here, anyway?"
"I don't know. It's a bit further away from Pepperdine than the other beaches, so I'm guessing that nobody wants to drive like twenty minutes to have their parties," Emily laughed, shrugging her shoulders. "I'm glad they don't come here, anyway. A part of why I love this place so much is that there's nobody here. It's usually just me and a few other quiet people. They're so quiet that you barely notice that they're here. It really is peaceful."
Alison raised her eyebrows. "Talking down on the party kids? I thought you were one of them. That girl from yesterday made it pretty clear..."
Emily felt a knot in her stomach when Alison said that. She was reminded of that bad part of herself. She really was ashamed of it, but she couldn't bring herself to stop. It was too easy to continue being in that dark place, doing things that made her feel like crap just a day later.
"I'm not proud of some of the things I've done," Emily sighed. "Please, don't think I'm like that... I'm not really like that."
"I know you're not like that, Em," Alison tilted her head to the side. "I know you. The real you."
Emily pressed her lips together. "Well, that kinda has become who I am..."
"No, it's not," Alison shook her head. "You've been through so much crap. No one's blaming you for getting lost and having too many drinks sometimes..."
"What about all the time?" Emily raised her eyebrows. "There are limits to everything. I crossed those limits long ago."
"You don't have to continue doing anything you don't want to do," Alison said. "I know better than anyone that you can change after making bad choices."
Emily nodded her head. "Do you wanna go closer to the water?"
"Sure..."
The two of them continued walking, getting closer to the ocean. The water was crystal clear and blue. It was literally perfect. They sat down next to each other once they were just inches behind the line where the water would hit.
"It really is beautiful," Alison commented. "Thanks for bringing me here instead of letting me make the mistake of going back..."
"Of course. I wanted you to see the best things about this place," Emily told her.
Alison bit her lip. "If I'm being honest with you, the best part of this whole trip was just getting to see you again. 'Cause God, Em... I missed you so much. I can't even tell you how much I missed you because it doesn't give you the real image of how much I did."
"Are you exaggerating?" Emily laughed. "I thought you had everything you wanted in Rosewood. You got to see Charlotte."
"Of course I'm happy with some things, but I don't have everything I want there," Alison shook her head. "In fact, there's one thing I've been missing this whole time, and it's you. I've needed you in my life."
"Yeah?" Emily raised her eyebrows. "Well, you're going back, so... I'm guessing you'll get over this 'I missed you so much' hype soon."
Alison could sense the coldness in her voice, and it was as if all the progress with Emily she thought she had made was gone. She tensed slightly, unsure of what to say next, not wanting to set her off even more. For once in her life, Alison was trying so hard to be careful with her words.
Her silence seemed to have worked. Emily's face softened and her muscles relaxed. "I'm sorry," she apologized softly, turning her head to look at the blonde. "That was... not the right thing to say."
Alison pressed her lips together for a moment, observing the way the gentle gusts of wind pushed Emily's dark hair back. She looked so elegant with the colorful sky light reflecting against her smooth, tanned skin. She was so beautiful, and Alison hated herself for admiring her so much.
"Emily," she said her name softly. "I know I said I didn't want to tell you, but... it's been bugging me all day..."
Emily furrowed her eyebrows. "What?"
"You did say something to me last night..." Alison bit her lip. "You were rambling like crazy, but there was one thing in particular that I just can't forget, and I wanted to know if you meant it, or if it was just the alcohol talking."
"Okay. Shoot." Emily's eyes were filled with curiosity. She was fearful of all the regrettable things she could have said to Alison the previous night. She always seemed to say and do regrettable things that made everything a mess while she was drunk. It was the main reason that she wanted to quit drinking so badly. She told herself that she wouldn't let Alison see her in that terribly drunken state where she made all her mistakes, but after seeing her flirting with Warren, she couldn't help herself. She needed the alcohol to stop herself. She hated herself for depending on alcohol so much.
Alison was hesitant, but she finally found the courage to speak up.
"Last night, you... um... you told me that you're still in love with me."
Of course. Emily was hoping that it wasn't the worst case scenario where she confessed something like that. And honestly, she didn't know why she would say something like that. Of course she loved Alison. How could she not? Emily was about to attempt to play it off as being "in love with her as a friend," but her bad luck didn't end there.
"That's not all," Alison bit her lip. "You told me that you don't want me to leave, and you... kinda tried to... kiss me. But, I didn't let you, of course. I wouldn't do that to you. Not like that..."
"Not like that?" Emily questioned. Out of everything, that was what she was most concerned about. "What do you mean by that? 'Not like that?' Like what, then?"
Alison furrowed her eyebrows. "You were drunk out of your mind, Em. I wasn't going to let you kiss me, or do whatever else you wanted to do. You'd regret that."
Emily wanted to push harder, make her think about her feelings... make her confess that she would be willing to kiss her, at least while they were both sober. But she stopped herself, and sat there in silence. She was the one whose feelings were truly vulnerable— Alison had a lot more on her. She not only had a present-day confession of love, but she also had years of evidence of Emily having feelings for her. All Emily had was a vague recollection of instances that maybe suggested that Alison felt something for her, too.
"So...?" Alison raised her eyebrows. "You didn't mean it or anything then, did you?"
"I don't know," Emily quickly answered, staring at the water in front of her intently. "I mean, of course I don't want you to leave..."
Alison tilted her head to the side. "Yesterday, Em... were you jealous?"
Emily rolled her eyes, refusing to look at Alison. "God, Ali... I'm not playing this game with you again. You want to make fun of me or something?"
"No!" Alison denied, shaking her head. "Of course not! Why would you even say something like that?"
"Why? Well, because you had no problem doing it back in high school. Excuse me if I don't believe you're just genuinely concerned if I was jealous about you flirting with somebody," Emily folded her arms. "Why does it even matter if I was jealous or not?"
"I was just wondering."
"Why, though?" Emily demanded. "What do you gain from it? Because if it's for your own enjoyment, then fine, I'll give it to you. You're right. I was jealous as hell watching you flirt around with Warren. I thought you were going to sleep with him, and it made me mad... and sad... and whatever. So, I had too much to drink, as usual, and I might've said something stupid about being in love with you, which of course, I am. You know I've never stopped loving you, and you probably like that. You like knowing that I'm still wrapped around your finger after all this time. That's probably why you came back to see me out of all people. So, take your prize: Yeah, I was jealous, and yeah, I'm in love with you."
Alison was stunned by the rush of angry words that came pouring towards her. It wasn't just the bitter tone of Emily's voice— it was the content of her message. She really didn't think that Emily was actually still in love with her. She figured that it was a slip of the tongue after having too much to drink. She did figure that maybe Emily was jealous about her flirting with Warren, but she had no idea that it was like this. And now, she felt bad for even bringing it up. Maybe it would have been better to not ask her about what happened while she was drunk.
Emily was too scared to look at her. She spat out her words boldly, taking charge of her feeling, yet she was screaming on the inside, knowing that she had made herself completely vulnerable. She figured that Alison already had a sense of how she felt, but now she said it aloud explicitly. Everything was on the table.
Weakly, Emily said, "Well... the thing is, I can't run around in circles like this anymore, Ali. I need you to tell me if I'm crazy— if everything between us has always just been in my head... Just tell me already, so I can have my peace with it, and I can move on if you never felt anything for me. Tell me if you ever felt anything for me at all. I just wanna hear it from you."
Alison stopped looking down, and instead turned her head, staring right at Emily. Emily sighed, looking down at the floor, but kept her body tilted towards the blonde. And in a rush, Alison pressed her lips against Emily's, startling the tanner girl. She almost jumped back, but soon relaxed herself into the kiss. Alison reached over, pressing her hands on Emily's cheeks, stroking them gently as she kissed the girl harder.
When they finally pulled back from each other, their foreheads remained pressed together. Alison's hands remained on Emily's cheeks.
"You're not crazy," she confessed, swallowing hard. "I have feelings for you, Em... I always have."
Emily's head moved back, shocked. Even after the kiss, she wasn't expecting this. She never expected things to work out with Alison. Alison had always been a dream—a fantasy that she could never really have.
"Ali, don't say something that you don't mean..." Emily bit her lip.
"I mean it, though... I promise," Alison assured her. "The old me would've lied to you and told you that it was all in your head the whole time, but I'm not the same person anymore— you know that. This is just me learning to be honest with you... and myself. Because I never wanted to admit it to myself... I hated myself for feeling something for you... because you deserve better than me. Emily, you're the best person I've ever known... you're the only one I've ever loved."
Emily just sat there, still in shock.
"I love you, Emily," Alison told her. She laughed quietly, shaking her head. "God, it feels so good to finally just say that out loud... I don't have to keep pretending like I don't."
"Ali..." Emily swallowed hard, unsure of what to do or say anymore.
She always doubted Alison's feelings for her. It was so surreal to hear Alison say I love you to her in a romantic sense. And it wasn't teasing or provoking... she seemed to mean it. It felt like it was one of her many dreams.
"You probably have no idea if I'm lying to you or not because of the person I used to be, but... I mean it," Alison said. "And you also probably have no idea what any of this means or what we're gonna do from now on, and I can tell you that I have no clue, too. Normally, I have a plan, but this time, I don't. This time, I was spontaneous. I hopped on a flight to California without thinking what I wanted to get out of this trip. All I really knew is that I wanted to see you again... because you always make everything better. I don't know how long I'm gonna stay or what I'm gonna do, but I do know how I feel about you."
Emily was blushing now.
"This feels like a dream..." she breathed.
"Well, this isn't a dream. This is real," Alison smiled.
She reached over, taking Emily's hand, squeezing it gently. She intertwined their fingers, then stroked her thumb against the back of Emily's hand. She looked up, smiling at Emily.
"I was never gonna invite Warren back to my hotel... but maybe you'd take the invite?" Alison smirked.
Bashfully, Emily nodded, still feeling that the whole night was unreal. Everything was pretty complicated— Alison lived on the other side of the country. But right now, that didn't matter. Emily was finally getting her chance with the girl she had been dreaming of since she was so young. And now? She was going back to Alison's hotel to do something they had only done once before, many years ago.
Spencer
Ever since Bryan had asked her out, Spencer had been thinking about the implications of it. He was looking for a relationship with her, but Spencer wasn't sure if she was looking for a relationship with him. Maybe she would have considered it before, but ever since Toby came back, she couldn't help but let her mind fly back to their old relationship; it truly was the best relationship she had ever had. Nothing ever measured up to it. And she knew that if she started dating Bryan, she would just keep on comparing it to her relationship with Toby.
But she owed it to Toby and herself to give Bryan a chance. And Bryan, of course. He was a good guy, and he cared about her a lot. A part of her wondered if what they had could turn into something really good. Bryan was similar to her in a lot of ways. Toby was different from her in a lot of ways. Bryan was interested in so many things that she was, so people would probably think that they were a "perfect match."
She was going to see how things went. She was going to go on that date with Bryan tomorrow night, and try her hardest to get Toby out of her mind during it. Next morning, Toby would be flying out of D.C., heading back to Rosewood.
Hazel had gone out with some other friends that night, so Spencer was alone in her dorm room. She fidgeted with her phone a few times, contemplating giving Toby a call. He said that she could call him any time, but she wasn't sure that he meant this soon... when he hadn't even left D.C. yet. Nonetheless, she was tempted to call him. And no matter what, Toby seemed to be somebody that she just couldn't quit. They always found a way back to each other, so Spencer was afraid that it would end up happening again somehow, even if she gave Bryan a chance. And she didn't know why she was afraid, because that wasn't bad at all in her head. In fact, part of her always wanted to go back to Toby. Sure, it wasn't easy like it would be with Bryan, but it was always good. It always felt like home, even if it was just for a messy, poorly-timed hook-up.
So, she was unable to quit her habit yet another time. She clicked Toby's contact and called him. He picked up rather quickly.
"Spencer?"
"Hey... it's me."
"Hey... is everything all right?"
"Yeah, I guess. Everything's all right. I just wanted to hear your voice."
He chuckled quietly.
"It's good to hear your voice, too."
"You're not annoyed that I'm calling you, are you?"
"Annoyed? What? No, of course not... I'm not annoyed. I'm just... surprised that you called me."
"You told me that I could call any time, didn't you?"
He chuckled again.
"Yeah, I guess I did. And I meant it. I just didn't think that you'd call so soon. I mean, I haven't even left yet. I'm still in my hotel room."
"Would it be bad if I said that I wanted to come over to your hotel room right now?"
There was a long pause. Spencer knew she was hitting him with a hard question.
"Spencer..."
"Hmm?"
"That probably wouldn't be a good idea."
"I figured."
"Then why'd you ask?"
"Why not? You're still here. I thought I could say goodbye. I don't know when I'll see you again. It could be never."
"Don't talk like that."
"I'm just being realistic."
"Realistic? More like pessimistic..."
"That's subjective."
"Not really. Besides, you know it's a bad idea for you to come over right now."
"And why's that?"
"You know why."
"No, I don't. Tell me."
"I'm sick of saying goodbye to you. And I know if I see you again, I won't want to let you go..."
"Then why are we always saying goodbye?"
"You know why."
"I really don't. Tell me."
"Spencer. Stop playing with me."
"I'm not playing with you."
"We see things so differently. We want different things. And I don't want what I want to hold you back from what you want. And I think... I think he wants the same things as you do. The look in his eyes... it reminds me of you. He's a lot like you, isn't he?"
"Bryan? I... suppose. But does it matter? I want you, isn't that enough?"
"Maybe it is... I don't know. There are so many things about life that I don't know. But I do know that I would hate myself for holding you back from your career... your success... your life. I have always known that Spencer Hastings is destined for greatness. And I can't be the one to hold you back from your full potential."
"I told Bryan that I would go on a date with him."
There was another long pause. She could tell that it was hurting Toby, but he was trying to accept it. And he was going to put on a good front for her, to let her know that it was okay that she was trying to move on, because they both had agreed that she would try things with Bryan.
"That's good. I'm happy that you're trying with him."
"Are you?"
"I want you to find yourself. And if in the end, after all that time, you and I still feel the same way about each other... maybe we'll see."
"That sounds unlikely."
"Yeah, but... that's the thing about us, Spencer. Everything that's happened between us is... unlikely. You falling in love with somebody like me... unlikely. But it happened."
"We're pretty unlikely, aren't we?"
"We are."
"Then I'll see you when the dust settles."
"Okay... will you at least promise me that you'll give him a real chance? That you won't just try to get the date over with so that you can be done with it?"
"Yeah. I can promise you that."
"Good. That's really good."
"Good night, Toby."
"Good night, Spencer."
