Title: I Am Alive
Author: Za Webmaster Authoress
Posted On: February 6th, 2007
Summary: Chris is alone, reflecting while a top of the Golden Gate Bridge. Unfortunately, a series of horrid tragedies sends Chris into a whirlwind of emotions and life-shattering moments. He has to stay alive, but maybe he might not want too...
Note: Okay, cause so many people reviewed, I'm gonna post this chapter today! (that and it's my first snowday in 3 years so I'm really happy!) This is where things are explained.
Rated For: Language (minor mostly, but one or two severe words), violence, emotional writing, and some self mutilation. Also for some bloody scenes.

Chapter 7: The Shadower

They all took a step back, Phoebe especially.

Chris's eyes. His eyes. They were so cruel. They were clear, not red from the salty tears. Power, pure untouched power and darkness swirled through those emerald eyes. Those eyes told the haunted story of an unimaginable emotion. An emotion with no name, nor a description.

"What do you mean?" Paige asked timidly.She had been so angry at Piper and Leo. They had stunned her beyond words. But now Chris, it was all to much for her.

Chris laughed, and they flinched. It was caustic and cold. Chris was no longer Chris. The death of his only family (minus Wyatt of course) and the news that his closest friends were dead had shattered Chris. The ones in the room felt the aura that surrounded him. The cruelty, the icy demeanor, the darkness. It shook them to the bone.

"The caring, the compassion, the hope. All of it gone. You wanted me gone. Well, I'm technically gone. The Chris you knew and hated beyond reason is gone. Hell, I wish I was truly gone. I want to go into that dark abyss known as death. But those damned Powers That Be won't let me die. They won't let me have my one last wish." Chris said coldly, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Chris, something isn't right." Phoebe said softly.

"You're right." Chris said.

"I am?" she was genuinely surprised.

"You're absolutely right. Something's wrong. What's wrong is that I'm still here. But I can fix that. You see, there's this thing called suicide. I can commit suicide. I just hope that I stay fucking dead this time! Cause I gotta tell ya, I am so fucking sick of life!" Chris laughed, hysterically and icily.

They stared, horror and shock clear on their faces.

"You know, I used to treasure life. I was a survivor. I fought tooth and nail for my life. And I won. But now, I don't care. I loath life. So, if there is any humanity, any compassion left in this fucking world, please. Let me stay dead!" Chris growled, and orbed out.

But they weren't blue. They weren't black and purple either. Chris's orbs were black, silver, and dark grey.

"What's happened to him?" Paige asked fearfully.

"I don't know." Leo whispered.

"But we're finding out." Piper commanded, sounding fiercer than she felt.Though she was suddenl;y shaken up. She felt herself filling with guilt. It had been her fault Chris had become what he had. ((A/N: DAMN STRAIGHT! Sorry, continue...))

The look on Chris's face, and his aura. It was appalling.

"I'll check with the Elders. See if they know what happened." Leo said, orbing out.

"We'll check the Book of Shadows. Phoebe, scry for him." Paige said, and they gathered the materials.

They tried their hardest not to look at the large pool of blood on the floor where the two girls had died, and Chris had commited suicide.

"Anything?" Piper asked after several minutes.

"Nadda." was the reply.

Leo orbed in, and he looked grim. "Chris is becoming a Shadower." he sighed, rubbing his temples.

"A what now?" Piper asked.

"Well, when someone has made a large amount of personal sacrifices, and been met with only cruelty and disdain, it just means that it's horrible, and they become seriously depressed. But if they're in the wrong timeline, it can change them. Especially for a witch or whitelighter. And Chris is half of both. A Shadower is one in several billion. He's the thirteenth in all of recorded history." Leo explained.

"What is a Shadower, exactly?" Paige demanded icily. She had not yet forgiven her eldest sister nor Leo for their cruelty.

"It takes a Shadower months to fully form. In the beginning, they can stand amounts of pain no one else could. It's almost like being superhuman. When Chris was hit by that bus, he should have been dead. The Shadower must've already started, and then at the hospital, it simply grew. He's almost invincible. The phsycial appearence of the person also changes: the orbs turn dark, the magic, hair, eyes, skin becomes pale, stuff liket hat. When a Shadower is fully formed, they act like they are oblivious to pain, and they can choose when they die. If they die, they can choose to go on or become a ghost. It's like having the powers of the Angel of Death." Leo explained.

"Anything else, like how to cure him?" Paige pressed on.

"No, no one knows. Shadowers are so rare that it's hard to get any information on them. There hasn't been a Shadower for two hundred and fifty years. That's why time travel is often used as a last resort for things, and why it's so dangerous. There are millions of things that can go wrong, and a billion things that can happen."

"And what happens to him?" Phoebe asked, giving him a nod to continue.

"We don't know." Leo whispered fearfully.

Northern United States

Chris was far up North. New York, or something like that. It was winter, definitely. There was at least two or three feet of snow from all of winter on the ground, and more was falling lightly. The sky blocked the sun with it's dark grey clouds. Chris shoved his hands into his pockets, walking around the forest.

"What's happening to me?" he wondered aloud.

"Something." replied an echoing voice.

Chris whipped his head around. Standing before him were ghosts.

"Chris." said the blonde. She had brown eyes, and was thin. Julie.

The second was a boy, exactly Chris's age. Scruffy brown hair covered blue eyes. Seth.

"Hey guys." he spat bitterly, recognizing his two oldest friends instantly.

"Why are you doing this?" Seth asked softly.

"Doing what?" Chris enquired casually, twirling his newly conjured athame in his hands.

They were bare; he had thrown the gloves off. The cold didn't bother him. It simply dulled the pain, encouraging him to step into the black oblivion of death.

"This whole thing. You were going to save Wyatt-" Julie began.

"GO!"

They stopped. Chris faced them with a wave of emotions not meant to be felt by any being in the universe.

"Go back to wherever you came from. Now." Chris ordered, green eyes swirling with black. The Shadower part of him was growing.

The two spirits exchanged fearful glances, and vanished.

Chris kicked the snow, engulfing his jean leg with the soft, cold substance.


See, now it all makes sense! (I hope!) If somethings are stilly shady, just tell me in a review and I'll explain it in the next chapter. SNOWDAY! WAHOOOOO!!!!!! Only took'em 3 years... anyhoo, here are the review responses, thank ye for'em!

immortalwizardpirateelf-fan: Wait till the sequel. They will get hell!

Blue Eyed Dragon Girl: Yup, as cold as it is outside (which is subzero with windchill) Thanks!

forestwife: Yes, 'pissed off' doesn't even begin to cover it. We need a new expression for rage beyond comprehension.

sailor cyanide: I don't normally do cliffies, and when I do, i give people an update ASAP. So here ya go!

ejb2987: Kind of hate piper? More like despise her beyond reason!

MissHaunted-MoonLight: Just wait till the last chapter. This ends at chapter 9!

death-on-arrival: That gives me an idea for a one-shot series. W/ thoughts from everyone at the major moments. Maybe, if I ever get time!