Disclaimer: Gilmore Girls is the creation of Amy Sherman-Palladino.
Chapter 7: Rory
Hartford, Connecticut, St. Joseph's Hospital, Thursday, May 18, 2017, 9:30 am EST
Several nerve-wracking minutes later, Logan found himself standing outside the closed door of Rory's room waiting for Lorelai to let him know it was okay for him to come in. From inside the room he could make out the murmur of voices. Finally, it was quiet. A moment later Lorelai opened the door.
Showtime.
Bracing himself, Logan paused in the doorway. His breath caught at the sight of Rory. Taking her in, Logan conceded that she would always be beautiful. She looked tired and a bit paler than her usual shade of alabaster, but still beautiful. Her blue eyes met his brown eyes unflinching.
"Come in, Logan," Lorelai, who was standing to the right of an empty bed, gestured to a chair on the other side of Rory's bed, near the window. "You wanna sit?"
Surmising that Lorelai would not be leaving, a slightly surprised Logan stepped into the room and pushed the door shut behind him. Glancing around as he made his way, he noted that that the room's curtain divider had been pushed back as far as it could go to allow daylight to filter through the room. As the second bed was empty, Logan deduced that Rory was the room's sole occupant. Gifts - including flowers, stuffed animals, books, 'New Mommy' balloons, baby clothes - covered nearly every inch of the room.
As he stopped at the foot of Rory's bed, Logan realized it hadn't even occurred to him to think about how this moment would play out. He had been so busy mentally adapting to his new reality and physically negotiating the complex logistics of his departure and arrival, he hadn't given a thought as to what he would actually say to Rory when he saw her.
Thinking about how to talk to Rory wasn't typically an aspect of their relationship, although it did come up periodically during "Vegas." He hated that part of Vegas. He preferred the natural, easy, lightness of tone which characterized their college relationship. Those conversations had always been organic, fun, and free, springing up out of whatever…
The last time they had seen one another – in New Hampshire – the tone had been somber and sad, two lovers saying goodbye. And now? Despite the overarching happiness he felt at the news of his son, right at this moment he felt wary. Tense. Gazing at Rory, he could tell she felt similarly. He didn't like it and he was going to do what he could to dispel the feeling.
"Hey Ace." He forced his lips to curve into something he hoped resembled a smile.
"Hey." Rory's lips were pulled tight; it looked like she was grimacing. It occurred to him that it could, in fact, be a grimace; no one had yet explained the 'complications'.
"You okay?"
"What?" She looked at him, startled.
"The look on your face. You're not in pain, are you?"
Rory smiled, a more genuine-looking grin. "No, I'm okay. They keep me doped up on Tylenol."
"Tylenol." He nodded. "Better watch out. I hear it's the new gateway drug."
"Really? I hadn't heard that. Thanks for the heads-up, Huntzberger."
Not moving his eyes from Rory's, Logan finally sat down. His mind still perusing memories of New Hampshire, he settled on his next words.
"I guess Mr. Toad's Wild Ride was a little wilder than originally thought?"
Rory laughed. "Yeah. Guess you could say that."
Another silence fell over them. This one, though awkward, was slightly less tense.
"What've you got there?" Rory jerked her chin to the stuffed alpaca.
"First, this is for you." He set the ceramic duck filled with white daisies and yellow spray down on the table beside her bed. "It's called Ducky Delight. I know daisies aren't your - " He hesitated, unsure of what he was trying to say. "It was slim pickings down there."
"No, they're lovely, Logan. I like daisies. But what's that?" She gestured again to the stuffed animal.
"This is Macchu the Alpaca. It's a Blabla doll. It's knit. Fake fur always seemed kinda creepy to me." He held it out to Rory, who took it. He kept his face still as their fingers briefly touched.
"A blah blah doll? Did they have a Scott Baio?" She pulled her eyes from Logan's as she set the doll down on the bed next to her.
"Ah, the Bob Loblaw Blabla doll?" He smiled at her, shaking his head. "No, Ace."
"Oh, hon. I think a Scott Baio doll would be too creepy for Lucas. Even your grandmother gives him side-eye now."
Logan started at Lorelai's comment. He nearly snorted at seeing Rory do the same. They both seemed to have forgotten Rory's mom was in the room. Lorelai had taken a seat on the other side of Rory's bed.
"You're right, mom." Rory turned to look at Lorelai. "Momentary memory lapse. Must be the baby hormones. That reminds me." She swung her head back around to Logan. "Can't be an easy time to be in the news business."
"We're holding our own," he shrugged. "Only kicked out of two press conferences so far. Besides, alternate facts are nothing new to my dad."
"I can vouch for that. He is, after all, the one who 'gave me my start'." She air-quoted the last part of her comment.
"Air quotes?" Logan shook his head, grinning.
"I guess I need to work on my sarcasm." Rory let out a nervous giggle. "Especially if I'm gonna be seeing him - them - at some point."
Another silence loomed. Say something...
"So, I see it only took you three days to get them to name the hospital wing after you. Cool diva move."
"Oh, yeah," she smiled. "J-Lo's got nothing on me. I've got a full rider of demands. Popcorn-flavored jellybeans delivered on the hour. All the pop tarts I can eat. No one's allowed to wear perfume within 20 feet of me. And- at night - they alternate playing Sonic Youth and the Les Miz soundtrack."
"Subversive. I like it." He nodded before settling his gaze on her once more. "You look good, Rory. Really good."
"Liar," she snickered. "I look like hell and I know it."
"No. No you don't." He shook his head. "You look...beautiful. As usual."
At his admission, their eyes locked and held. Lorelai cleared her throat.
Rory finally pulled her gaze from Logan to make eye contact with Lorelai. "Mom, I think we're good here."
"You sure?" asked Lorelai.
"Yes." Rory's eyes went back to Logan's. She picked up the Blabla doll and waved it around. "I'm a mom now. If Logan doesn't behave, I'll hit him with Macchu."
Logan chuckled. "Okay."
Lorelai stood, her eyes fixed on Rory. "It's your call. Text if you need anything."
Rory nodded. "I will."
Lorelai quietly made her way to the door. Peering back as she exited, she repeated, "Text if you need anything, Rory."
"Copy that."
After Lorelai left, Logan and Rory stared silently at one another. Finally Rory spoke.
"You know I tried to tell you. I texted. A bunch of times. I asked you to call me. You didn't."
Logan's face took on a quizzical expression. "So your mom said. I didn't see your texts. When did you send them?"
"Months ago," she answered. Pulling her eyes from his, she focused them on Macchu. "I didn't say anything in the texts. Just that I needed to talk to you. I asked you to call me since I couldn't call you." Shrugging she brought her eyes back up to meet his. "When I didn't hear back from you, I figured you'd made your peace and didn't want to talk to me."
"'Made my peace,'?" Logan repeated incredulously. "What the hell does that even mean? And even if you thought I hated you – which I don't and I'm not sure I ever could – I still have a right to know I'm gonna be a father."
"Yes, and I tried to tell you." Starting to get angry, Rory's next words were heated. "Hey, it's not my fault you didn't look at your texts. And I couldn't call you."
"That's ridiculous! You could've called me! You should've called me! You can always call me! You know that! Even without the baby! But definitely with the baby! That's a damn good reason to pick up the phone!"
"First, lower your voice. Unless you want my mom or Luke in here. As for me calling...No, I couldn't. I stopped being able to call you the second Odette moved in. Remember? What if she answered your phone?" Rory rolled her eyes. "Seriously? What was I supposed to say?" Rory continued in a slightly breathless, bimbo voice. "Um, hi, Odette? This is Logan's ex-girlfriend-slash-geisha. I called to tell him I'm pregnant. Could you please put him on the phone?" It was Rory's turn to glare at Logan in disbelief.
"Well, sure, that would've done the trick. Come on, Rory. You think I care about that? Besides Odette doesn't work at HPG; she's nowhere near me during the day. You know the hours I work. There's plenty of Odette-free time for phone calls."
"I always tried not to bother you at work."
"Thank you for that," Logan nodded his head vigorously. "I appreciate you not calling me at work to tell me I was gonna be a father. You probably spared me hours of mockery for being a slack-jawed vegetable rocking myself in the corner."
"Are you serious?" asked Rory, surprised by his reply.
"No!" He shook his head. "I don't give a damn what they think about me! Maybe I would've fainted from the shock and wound up a heap on the floor. They could've stripped me naked and locked me out on the roof or stuck pins under my fingernails. I still wouldn't have cared, Ace."
"Oh. Fine. Message received. I should've called. But you're forgetting the reason I didn't call was because I never got a reply from you. I sent you a lot of texts, Logan. And I never heard a word back. Not one word."
"Are they still on your phone?"
"What?"
"Are they still on your phone? The texts? Did you delete them?"
"No they're still on my phone."
"Can I see them?"
Rory's eyes didn't leave Logan's. Finally she replied.
"Wow. You don't believe me. I -"
"No, Rory. I just want to see if the texts were delivered to my phone."
"Oh." Rory grabbed her cell phone from the nightstand and logging in the password, brought up the texts. Scrolling up the conversation, she frowned. "You're right. Usually they say "Delivered" or "Read." These say nothing. How did I not notice?"
"Can I see? Please?"
Without another word, Rory handed him her phone.
Logan silently perused the texts, a grave expression on his face. There was actually a dozen messages sent over the course of several months. Even though her efforts were seemingly in vain, it was a relief to him to know that she had tried. Replacing Rory's phone to the night stand, he pulled out his own cell phone, and scrolled to his Rory text conversation. None of the texts appeared there. There had been no new text messages since last summer. Finally it occurred to him to do something he probably should've done the second he heard Lorelai mention the texts. He went into his contacts and brought up Rory's information.
And there it was. What the fuck...? Who the hell...?
"What? Logan? What happened?"
"Sorry. Did I say that aloud?"
"Yes. What?!"
"Someone programmed my phone to block you."
"What?"
"So I wouldn't receive your texts or calls."
"Really?"
"Take a look." Logan held the phone out to Rory who took it. "Look at the bottom of your contact info."
"It's says 'Unblock this caller.'" After glancing at the screen, she held the phone out to him.
"Yeah and the reason it says that is because you're blocked." Taking the phone, he unblocked Rory's number before slipping it back into his jacket pocket.
"You didn't do it?"
"Rory, listen to yourself. In what universe does that sound like something I'd do?"
"Yeah, you're right. You wouldn't do that."
"No, I wouldn't."
"Who do you think did?"
Logan looked grimly at Rory. "I have my suspicions, but it'd be hard to prove."
"You think it was Odette."
"Yes."
"Could've been your dad."
Logan had been staring at the floor. At Rory's words, his eyes shot back up to hers.
"You brought me to that restaurant, Logan. He saw me. He knew we were in touch. He probably suspected there was more going on. You know how your parents are when it comes to me."
Logan's face took on a pained expression. "Rory, my dad doesn't hate you –"
"Right, that was just your mother and your grandfather. Your dad just thinks I'm a crappy journalist –"
"He doesn't think that. He just - " Logan let out a sigh of frustration. "Who the hell cares about any of this? It's all beside the point! Rory, fact is now you're their grandson's mother. The other stuff doesn't matter. You know none of that ever mattered to me. And, for what it's worth, Honor always liked you. She can't stand Odette."
Rory snorted. "Great. That's one out of three." Closing her eyes, Rory buried her face in the stuffed alpaca.
"More like two out of four. Hey, don't mess that up. It's for him."
Opening her eyes, she stared at Logan. "His name is Lucas Richard Gilmore."
"I know," he nodded gently. "I got Macchu for Lucas. Ducky Delight was for you. I can get you your own Blabla doll if you want."
Rory continued to study Logan. "What did you tell your parents, anyway?"
"Nothing yet."
Cringing, Rory turned her head back into the stuffed alpaca. Her next words were muffled but he could make them out. "Your dad will probably suggest "Shiv" for the baby's name."
"Cute. I'm not planning on asking my parents for suggestions on the baby's name. Besides he's already got a name."
"They gonna be okay with that?" She turned back to look at him.
"Don't worry about them. I'll handle them."
"No. We'll handle them." Rory glanced up at the wall clock before bringing her eyes back to Logan. "Promise me you'll always let me know what they're up to. They always blindside me. The restaurant. The dinner. The internship. That has to stop. Especially now that there's Lucas to consider."
"Agreed. I promise."
"Thank you."
Another slightly awkward silence seemed to be descending upon them. Logan sat, legs apart, with his elbows resting on his knees and his hands steepled.
Rory, meanwhile, continued to absentmindedly play with the stuffed alpaca.
One difficult topic covered, next...
"How did it go? Your mom said there were complications...?"
"Yeah, the pregnancy was a little difficult," nodded Rory. "Go figure. Your son gave me trouble in utero." She shot a look at him, one eyebrow raised.
"He's 'my son' when he causes trouble?"
"Yeah," she nodded, smiling.
Caught off guard, Logan chuckled. What he wanted to do was rise to his feet, close the distance between them, and kiss her. Instead, he returned her smile.
"I'm sorry he gave you trouble, Ace. I'll talk to him."
It was Rory's turn to laugh. "Yeah, you do that. I don't think it's gonna help."
"Hey. So what was the problem?"
Rory sighed before answering. "I was diagnosed with high blood pressure. I just had to take it easy. Limit stress. Every time I texted you or thought about calling you, I got myself all worked up. So I decided I'd wait until things were easier. Except things didn't really get easier and then he came early."
"Ah." Logan rubbed his temple, and then glanced around the room contemplating what he wanted to say. He couldn't fault her. He could blame whomever it was that messed with his phone, but he couldn't blame Rory. Especially knowing it wasn't an easy pregnancy and he wasn't there for her. "How are you doing now?"
Rory shrugged. "I'm fine. They tell me I have a slight fever so I won't be able to go with you to see Lucas. Hopefully I'll be able to see him later today. He's the one I worry about."
At Rory's words, Logan felt an ache in his heart.
"Rory," he reached out and took her hand. "I'm sorry I wasn't here."
"You didn't know." Her eyes dropped to their joined hands.
"No, I didn't. I could've reached out to you."
"We said goodbye, Logan. We said goodbye." As she spoke, she shifted her gaze back to his eyes.
"Yes, we did." He paused, considering his next words. He decided to keep it simple. "It's no longer goodbye, Rory."
"I know."
"So what is it?"
"I don't know."
Glancing down at the floor, he let Rory's response play back in his head.
I don't know.
There were definitely worse answers someone as verbally dexterous as Rory could have offered. As far as he was concerned, the door was open. He lifted his head and his eyes once more sought hers.
"Hey, I'm here now. Let me help. First, I'm gonna cover whatever your insurance doesn't. Or even whatever your insurance wants you to fill out extra forms for. Why should you or Lorelai have to deal with paperwork?"
"Logan, my insurance is really not that– "
"Rory, Lucas is my son. If he needs medical care, his father" the word felt foreign yet right falling from his lips "can make sure he gets the best money can buy." Logan saw that Rory's eyes were glassy. Once his own vision had blurred, Logan knew he too had tears in his eyes. "Let me do this, Rory. Please. I'm not going anywhere. Not until he's home. I'm gonna be right here. For him. And for you."
"Okay. " She bobbed her head slightly.
"Okay," he repeated, nodding reflexively.
Logan watched as Rory quietly stared at him. He knew she was mentally scoring the balance sheet. There was a balance sheet, he knew; it weighed the pros and cons of allowing him into her -now their- life, against the pros and cons of being dragged into his.
"You know you're making a lot of blanket promises, Huntzberger. And you haven't even seen him yet. Maybe you should wait until you've met him."
"You think I'll change my mind once I see him?"
"No," she shook her head, smiling.
"He's cute, right?"
"Very. I'd say he's the cutest but I have to admit I'm biased."
"I'm not gonna have to say he's 'precious' or 'breath-taking', am I?"
"Nope, he's legitimately cute. But he is gonna have to grow into his looks."
"There's plenty of time for that, Ace."
Choking on emotion, Rory nodded. Logan had never been good with seeing Rory's tears. He wasn't sure if it was what she wanted - or was comfortable with - but he moved from the chair to sit on the edge of her bed. Dismissing a moment of hesitation, his arms quickly found her as he gathered her into a hug.
"It'll be okay, Ace. He'll be okay. I'll move heaven and earth if I have to. I promise." He laid his lips on her temple.
They sat like that for a while. As Rory sobbed silently, Logan held her close, gently rubbing her back. Finally she quieted. Halting his arm movements, he tightened his embrace. He felt her arms circle around his back. It felt good having her in his arms again. Lowering his head, he breathed in her scent.
"Hey, before I forget. I've got something else for you." Logan pulled away from Rory and removed an envelope from his jacket pocket. Fixing his eyes on hers, he handed her the blue envelope.
"What is this? A card? You didn't have get me a card, Huntzberger," she laughed. She swiped at the tears coursing down her cheeks.
"Yes, I did," he replied, his face serious. "Open it."
Confused she made a face at him and then turned her attention to the envelope. Pulling the card out, she took a good look at it. As she did, her eyes watered up again. "Oh, wow…when…how'd you…?"
"No miracle on my part. It was Sunday. I was lucky the gift shop's slow doing inventory."
"You even signed for him." She fingered the spot where Logan had signed 'Lucas and Logan.' Her voice shook as she spoke. "Thank you."
Thank you.
"Happy Mother's Day, Rory." Logan wrapped his arms around her once more. "It'll be okay. I promise."
It would be okay. He meant his promise. He would settle for nothing less for Rory and their son.
AN: Thank you for reading.
04/30/2017
