You guys don't know how much I loved all of the reviews I got! They made me smile! I hope you guys are enjoying the story and I'm doing my best to keep up with the updates.
I woke back up to see Ashley lying beside me. I had my arm over her waist and her arm was wrapped around my shoulders. I knew I had to go to school today or I would fail. I sigh as I look over to the window that was currently open. I guess that's how she got in. I look back over and see her nose crinkled as she slept. She must be dreaming about something. She looked so sexy in her panties and her tank top. She had rid her clothes before we went to sleep. Is it awful that I want to ravish her? I must be all kinds of fucked up. Someone can destroy my life by raping me yet I am having lustful thoughts about someone. Don't get me wrong, I know that there is no way I am ready to have sex but that doesn't mean I wouldn't mind doing stuff to her. Is that fucked up? Probably. I run my hand over her stomach and softly pull the fabric of her tank top up so I can see her exposed abs. Fuck they are sexy. I lean down and place a soft kiss on her abs, but wince at the pain from the cut in my stomach. I lean back up to take the pressure off before placing my hand on her thigh. I let it slide up and reach her inner thigh before rubbing soft circles. I was getting wet just thinking about what I could do to her. I leaned up to her neck and softly started sucking, causing her to whimper in her sleep. I cupped my hand on her most sensitive area causing her to gasp out.
"Fuck Spence." She mumbled out, as she woke up. I couldn't tell if she really was awake considering my lips were still latched onto her neck but she was moving her hips up to my hand.
"You look so fucking sexy in your panties and your tank top." I mumbled against her neck. I could feel her heat radiating out of her underwear and they began to feel damp as she tried to get more friction.
"Oh god, Spencer. You make me so wet when you talk like that." She whimpered out as her hips bucked into my hand.
I ran my hand under the waistband of her underwear and rubbed over the lips of her pussy. This was the first time I had ever touched a girl there and it made me flood. She was shaven clean and the lips were slick from how wet she was. I ran my fingers inbetween her folds causing her to moan loudly.
"You feel so good." I whispered into her ear causing her to groan. I started rubbing faster causing her to buck her hips to get a pace going with me. I pressed my lips into hers in a bruising kiss as I kept up the speed.
Before she could adjust, I shoved a finger in her causing her to scream against my lips. I'm pretty positive I muffled the noise but if not. Well I could care less. My mom and dad should already be gone for work so the only people who would hear are my brothers and I have heard them screwing to many girls for me to give a shit.
"Faster Spencer." I guess I zoned out and I was barely pushing into her. I quickly refocused and sped my pace and thrust harder. Her hand gripped my right breast as she rocked with me and she softly squeezed it causing me to moan. Her other hand found my hair and began pulling on it.
"Cum for me, Ashley." I whispered before she pulled hard and shook as she came all over my hand.
We slowly kissed as she tried to recover from her intense orgasm. She rolled me over so that she was pressed into my side. She ran her fingers to the waistband of my shorts but I quickly stopped her hand and pulled away from the kiss.
"I'm not ready." I said quickly to explain why I had stopped her. How is okay that I fuck her senseless but I fall apart if she tries to touch me?
"I understand. I'm sorry, I wasn't even thinking."
"It's okay. I just—"I sighed and looked away in frustration.
"Talk to me baby." She whispered in response.
"I'm a fucking mess. It's okay for me to get horny and want to fuck you but I freak out if you try to touch me."
"Baby, you're not a mess. It's okay to get horny even though that happened to you. Its natural instincts and you can't stop it. But I do understand that you are not ready to be touched. You got that taken away from you and I can wait until you're ready."
I looked back at her and smiled at the concern in her eyes, "You're always making me feel better."
"Well, I love you."
I smiled but quickly groaned in frustration as I felt the ache in between my legs. I think she could tell what was wrong because a soft giggle escaped her lips.
"What if I pressed my knee against you? Would that be okay?" I contemplated her question for a minute. I don't think that would bother me. I wouldn't think it would but as fucked up as I am, who knows.
"We could try." I whispered shakily. She nodded before softly pressing her lips against mine. I sighed into the kiss. It calmed me down but I was still throbbing. I felt her raise her knee and I got a little nervous and she could tell so she ran her fingers through my hair. She pressed her knee into my center causing me to gasp. All fears were thrown out the window as she rubbed her knee against my center and I was even hornier. I moaned as I rocked against her knee and I felt a warm bubbly feeling rise in my lower area. I could tell I was on the edge and one more thrust from her knee, caused me to groan into her lips as I came. It was the best feeling in the world. I wrapped my arms around her as she kissed my neck as I came down from my high.
"I love you with all of my heart."
"I love you too, baby." She replied before molding our lips back together. That was our first step forward.
After Ashley helped me get a bandage on my stomach and my arm we got dressed and headed downstairs.
"What the hell were you doing up there Spencer? Watching a porno?" Glen asked as I grabbed a pop tart for Ashley to eat. My cheeks turned crimson and I looked away in shame.
"Shut the fuck up Glen." I mumbled as I handed her the food.
"Ew were you really? You're disgusting!" He yelled before falling into a fit of laughter.
"Shut the fuck up! I wasn't watching a porno!" I screamed before pushing him out of his chair and sending him to the ground.
"Jeeze Spence. I was just kidding. No need to get embarrassed about your porn. We all watch it." I was so angry by then that tears were flooding my face.
Ashley grabbed my shoulder and pulled me behind her so that she was facing Glen. "Leave her the fuck alone or so help me god I will rip your dick off and make you eat it!" I had never seen Ashley so mad and it made me feel a little better to see the look on Glen's face.
"Wait a minute!" Glen started as he got back in his chair, "If you were up there with her then- you guys were fucking? That's disgusting Spencer! You probably got one of her STDs that she got from fucking all of LA." He spat at me causing me to see red. I pushed past Ashley and socked him right in the nose causing blood to spurt out.
"Fuck! You broke my nose! I'm telling mom!"
"I don't give a shit!" I yelled before storming out of the house. Ashley followed me out and unlocked her car so I could get in. More tears poured down my face and I began shaking from how upset I was. "I hate him!"
"I know baby but you've gotta calm down." She replied as she pulled me in her embrace and tried to soothe me.
"I can't believe he would say something like that about you." I replied as I continued to shake. My heart was beating so fast that I could barely breathe.
"It's okay, I've been called worse." She laughed as she ran her hand up and down my back.
"It's not okay! Fuck, I can't breathe." I gasped for air as I pulled away from her and started hyperventilating.
"Baby, take some deep breaths."
I closed my eyes and inhaled slowly as I tried to calm down. After I regained my composure Ashley started the car and began driving towards the school.
It was a quiet ride and I could tell something was on her mind. She's probably thinking I'm a fucking nut case. I started scratching my arm but she quickly noticed and pulled my hand away before lacing our fingers so I couldn't do it again. She sighed as she continued driving and it made me feel awful. I know it's my fault she's upset.
"What's wrong?" I hesitantly asked her causing to glance at me before biting her lower lip.
"I think—I think you should see a therapist." She replied as she pulled into the school parking lot and put the car in park.
"You think I'm crazy." It was more of a statement then a question.
"No baby I don't. I do think it would help you get everything out of your system and I think you have an anxiety problem." I nodded but didn't respond as I looked out the window and watched all of the normal kids going on with their lives.
"Hey—look at me." I looked back at her and she gave me a small smile. "I love you no matter what and I'll go with you to every appointment."
"You will?"
"I promise."
"Okay. Can you find me someone?" I asked causing her to nod.
"I'll look into it after school and set up an appointment."
"He's going to tell my mom about us." I whispered in reference to Glen telling my mom about me and Ashley having sex.
"Are you okay with that?"
"I'm not sure. I don't know how she'll take it."
"If she's a good mom then she will love you no matter what."
"I'm just not ready for the world to know." I replied softly as I looked back out the window.
"We don't have to do act like a couple in public until you're ready."
I give her a small smile and nod. "Thanks." I lean in and give her a quick kiss before we head inside for class.
Rain1657: I'm sorry! I didn't mean to make you cry. I didn't want to be so easy cus no relationship is perfect. I hope I portrayed that in a good way. Im getting a bit tired of the angst considering I've moved on a lot from all of the stuff I went through so I might speed up the story to get out of the bad parts. Thanks for your feeback!
Tbplrbear1: I feel like Ashley is going to be Spencers big support throughout it all. My best friend was my everything and she helped me through every step and bigger feelings came from it. Spencer will be Ashleys anchor soon enough. Thanks for the review!
: I know I love amy lee! And I just found out that they came out with a new cd! I was soo excited. Thanks for the review!
Ophelie: I'm honestly excited that your French! I didn't know I would get French fans! Haha! Thanks for the review!
Crashspike22: Thanks! I feel like it's easy to put it out there considering I went through it so Im glad you like it. I missed your reviews! I hope your writing is going well.
IM GAY SO WHAT:I know how you feel. I can remember it like it was yesterday even though it is only 6 months for me. I'm so touched that I am helping you with your incident and I am glad that I am the one that is helping you get past it and not think about it as much. It does get easier everyday even if I do think about it once a day. Unfortunately just like Spencer in the story, I scratched my wrists and have scars so I have to look at them every day. Hopefully they will fade one day just like the pain will fade one day. Im touched that I am helping you write again. Good luck!
