"You're home from rehearsal awfully early?" Teddy smiled when he found Rayna in the tub, relaxing with a glass of wine at 1pm

"I could say the same for you. I thought you had a meeting with those investors this afternoon?" she asked

"uuhhh…yeah, they cancelled." Teddy sadly looked away. Another project gone bad, and another investment gone wrong

"I'm sorry. You'll get the next one." She tried to hide her disappointment

"On the upside, it means we get a rare afternoon ALONE. Perfect timing since you're leaving me Monday for 3 months. Want some company in there?" He smiled leaning in for a kiss, as he loosened his tie

"Sure. I'll be back a few days here and there. It won't be so bad." She tried to smile as he joined her in the tub. She really just wanted an afternoon alone to relax before the craziness of the tour began

"I know. It just won't be the same around here after 2 years of being together every night. We're not sure how Maddie will handle being away from you yet. I'm just not looking forward to single parenting, that's all." He pulled her closer in the tub, kissing the nape of her neck

"Leaving Maddie's the worst part. I know we've talked about it, and decided she'd be better off at home with you, but I've been thinking I'd really like to take her. In a couple years she'll be in school and I won't be able to take her." Rayna held her breath waiting for a reaction

"Why the sudden change now? I thought we already made this decision? When she's older there's always the possibility of home schooling and she could travel with you that way." He tried to reason

"I don't want to home school her, Teddy. I want her to have a normal life, with friends, activities, and school dances when she's older. Right now she's still my baby, and she needs to be with me."

"No, Rayna! We decided this months ago. Maddie stays home with me." He was resolute, and getting angry as they argued

"Well, I changed my mind! It's not entirely your choice, Teddy!" Rayna snapped

"I thought WE already decided. It wasn't only my choice. YOU thought it was best too last time we discussed this! The only thing that's changed since is Deacon Claybourne being on this tour!" Teddy snapped as he got out of the tub

"Don't go there, Teddy! This has nothing to do with Deacon."

"Really?" he retorted before slamming the bathroom door

"So much for a relaxing afternoon alone." She sighed

Across town, alone in East Nashville, Deacon sat with a guitar across his lap. The coffee table overturned, a few smashed guitars, and the only light coming from a broken lamp on the floor.

He wanted a drink. He'd been to two AA meetings already today. His only solace a pen, and some scribbled lyircs…

PRETEND IT ISN'T THERE

by Charles Esten and Steve Mandile

Well it's almost been forever

We've been playing it this way.

Feeling things that we must never

Ever feel or ever say.

It's so powerful, what hovers

Here between us, in the air.

But you are taken by another,

So you pretend it isn't there.

And I feel the toll that it's taking

Waiting for what you can't give.

Deep inside me something's breaking

What a lonely way to live.

And it's been there since I found you,

All this beauty and despair.

But just so I can stay around you,

I pretend it isn't there.

And you're not wanting me.

And you're not haunting me.

And it's not still in me,

This thing that killin' me.

And my heart will be fine.

And you will be...

Love continues to reward us

With all the pain that we can bear.

And though the end is rushing toward us

We pretend it isn't there.

Rayna toweled off, dried her hair, put on an old T shirt (one of Deacon's), and sweats before heading downstairs.

Teddy had scribbled a note on the back of the promo poster sheet. She'd forgotten and left it on the counter with her purse and keys. She hadn't intended for Teddy to see it.

[What is this? I thought he was just your band leader?

Went to pick up Maddie. Don't bother with dinner. I'll feed her. I'd like some time alone with her before you take her away from me!]

Rayna took a deep breath. Things with Teddy were already strained and had been for months since she learned of the financial issues he'd been keeping from her. She knew his heart had been in the right place. He had his pride. He'd always promised to take care of her and Maddie. She knew it was killing him that he was failing, and she had to go back on tour, make some serious money to fix his mistakes.

She was trying to be supportive and patient, but she was also angry that he'd kept things from her for so long. They'd had to re-mortgage the house to keep from losing it, and now had a huge monthly payment leaving her no choice but to go back on tour.

They could have gone to her father, but that relationship was still very strained, and she'd refused to ask Lamar for help.

It was after 5 when Teddy and Maddie arrived home. The little girl bounded into Rayna's arms beaming and chattering about going for pizza, ice cream, and the bear she clutched.

It was a build a bear, wearing a little suit and tie.

"Oh, is that supposed to be daddy?" Rayna asked suddenly feeling horrible. Teddy was desperately trying to hold on to Maddie any way he could

"Daddy bear." She smiled fumbling with the bears little tie, before squiring away from Rayna to play

"She's not going to forget you if she goes with me, you know?" Rayna softly said

"I'm not an idiot, Rayna. The writing is on the wall here. Maybe it always has been. You've never really let go of Deacon. We both know that." He sadly admitted

"That's not true! You know I love our life and our family. He's not the reason I want to take Maddie on tour. I can't stand the thought of being away from her for so long."

"…and you think I can?" he asked

"Let me take her on this first leg. It'll be easier on the bus, than the later part where we have to fly a lot. Plus we're not that far. You'd be able to drive to most of the stops in 8 to 10 hours. You can come see her on the road anytime, and we'll be back a couple times a month for a few days. The second leg, I'll leave her with you." Rayna tried to compromise

Monday morning arrived. He'd spent a long, sleepless weekend dreading getting on this bus. He couldn't escape her memory when she wasn't around. "How the hell would he deal with having her in his face 24/7." He wondered as he locked his truck doors, grabbed his suitcase and guitar, and slowly trudged across the lot towards the bus.

Several of the guys in the band were already clamoring around, storing unneeded items in the undercarriage compartment. He threw his suitcase in the undercarriage, and climbed the bus stairs.

Looking around, he chose a bunk near the front of the coach. The furthest distance he could get from the master suite at the back, where Rayna would be staying. A flood of memories hit him as he looked down the hall towards the master suite. Their last bus tour, he'd been with her in that suite.

"Just set up the pack n play here in the living area. There's not enough room in the master suite." Rayna was barking orders to a PA as she climbed the bus steps with Maddie in her arms

"Hey…" she softly said noticing Deacon standing near the front of the coach. She watched his expression carefully for any sign of reaction to Maddie. He'd never seen the little girl before. Deep down part of her hoped maybe he'd suspect something, feel something if and when he saw Maddie for the first time

"Hey…" he whispered huskily as he looked at Maddie

"She's beautiful, Ray. Just like her mama."

"Maddie, can you say hi to Deacon?" Rayna walked towards him with Maddie in her arms

"De…De…"Maddie smiled and waved trying to say Deacon

"Well, hi there. Aren't you just the prettiest little thing. Look at these long fingers. I think we have a future guitarist, or maybe piano like mama, huh?" Deacon held Maddie's chubby little hand as the two got acquainted

Rayna had waited for this moment for nearly 2 years. Seeing them side by side, it was undeniable that Deacon was Maddie's father. Her heart was about to burst seeing them together for the first time ever.

She was both relieved and disappointed as she watched his facial expressions and interaction with Maddie.

"He doesn't suspect a thing." She sadly thought to herself